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Leaving Darkness Behind  by Periantari

Pippin sat in a worried and uneasy vigil by Merry’s bed for a while before he was sent to his duties. The healers had dressed Merry in a Big Person’s nightshirt and he looked positively small in the enormous bed. Breathing more difficultly than normal, Merry spoke often in his sleep, his voice fearful as he murmured unintelligible words. The healers had put his right arm in a sling and Pippin peered closely at Merry’s hand; it had an odd, cold mark that seemed like a small wound, yet iciness emanated from it, spreading upwards to his arm, shoulder, and even down the side of his body. Ioreth was the one who tended to Merry the most and frequently gave him medicinal draughts that were not only aimed to rehydrate the hobbit but also to try to bring him back to consciousness. But there was no response from Merry who it seemed had fallen into a deadly stupor, unresponsive and unconscious to his surroundings save for his frequent murmurings of one who is having terrifying nightmares.

Pippin tried hard to stay strong and he kept talking to Merry, comforting him in his uneasy, unnatural slumber. He was often haunted by the memory of how Frodo had looked when he had been stabbed by the Witch-King’s knife, and hoped to Eru that Merry would be spared a premature death.

“Come on Merry—it’s all right¼ please fight this¼ Stay strong, you can fight this, I know you can,” Pippin pleaded, holding tight to Merry’s hand and stroking his cousin’s cold forehead. “Come on, Merry—please be all right,” Pippin was once again on the verge of tears, wishing desperately that Merry would wake up again, to see his blue eyes light up, the easy and happy grin that had made Pippin smile ever since he first played with Merry when they were both young hobbit lads.

Pippin did not know what else to do to help his cousin, so he began telling Merry snatches of their adventures together in the past, thinking back to when Merry had tended him when he was ill, about the trouble they always seemed to get into, escaping from scrapes but never from their mothers’ reprimands, to the time that Pippin had got into horrible trouble with a nearby family who thought that it was not funny that Pippin kept scaring their young daughter through his little practical jokes that he pulled with Merry’s help. Merry always got him in trouble—daring him to do things that really shouldn’t have done, teasing him—but Pippin never minded, and above all he loved Merry’s companionship¼ he never wanted to part from his big cousin who was more like a brother and dearer than friend to him.

“Merry—and do you remember that time—“

A familiar hand touched Pippin’s shoulder, and he looked up and saw Aragorn besides him. “Strider! I’m so glad that you’ve come! Have you come to help poor Merry? I am so frightfully scared for him—is he going to be all right?” Pippin’s green eyes were full of tears, his tweenaged face was fatigued, and the strain of worrying had made him look older than he was.

Aragorn looked at Pippin with pity before turning to Merry, who he regarded gravely. “Do not worry, Pippin; athelas is at my disposal now and it will help. I will be back for I first need to see how Faramir is faring. Keep talking to Merry, for familiar voices usually help in calling back victims of the Black Shadow.” Aragorn gave another reassuring pat to Pippin’s shoulder before turning to leave, and Pippin decided on a whim to follow Aragorn to see if he could help, for the faster they helped Faramir, the faster they could help Merry.

He had to run errands for various people, for it was busier now than before because many injured soldiers and medical supplies were being transported into the Houses of Healing, and he had to stay by Faramir, who didn’t seem to be doing that well either. Pippin’s heart was grieved to see him in bed with a high fever, mumbling incoherent words, seemingly steeped in unconsciousness due to the fatal arrow that had pierced him.

Would Faramir be all right? I do hope that he does not die Pippin thought worriedly. He had played a role in saving Faramir, and Pippin felt closer to the man now than ever before, and he wanted desperately for him to live; for he was held up in high esteem by all who knew and loved him. He would feel quite saddened if Faramir would die. He remembered how Boromir had talked about his brother during their time together, and now he knew why Boromir loved his brother so much. Faramir had suffered enough, and Pippin wanted nothing more than to have helped save him.

But his mind constantly turned to Merry, hoping that by the time he had finished his duty, he would find his cousin awake and be on the mend.

He followed Aragorn in his gentle ministrations to Faramir and Eowyn. Inhaling the sweet healing herb’s scent calmed the nerves of everyone gathered around and seeing how Faramir and Eowyn regained consciousness brought new hope to Pippin. He lingered a bit to see the fair maiden of Rohan fully awaken but was saddened to hear that despair was still in her voice. Does the Black Breath make one so depressed after one has awakened from it?

“Come along, now, Pippin—let’s see how your cousin is faring,” Gandalf gently shepherded Pippin from Eowyn’s room. Pippin glanced back once, seeing Eomer cheered that his sister had awoken but ill at ease about her melancholy.

Gandalf went with Pippin to Merry’s room finally and saw Aragorn already there,

standing by the bed.

“You saw how athelas helped the Lady Eowyn and Faramir recover. It is a potent herb and I am certain that it will work for Merry,” Aragorn said to a worried Pippin who immediately ran to Merry’s side to grasp his hand. “These evils can be amended, so strong and gay a spirit is in him. His grief he will not forget; but it will not darken his heart, it will teach him wisdom.*** I’ve already called him back to a less dangerous state of unconsciousness, farther away from the Black Breath. This would aid in his coming back but there is more to be done before Merry awakens fully. He is not entirely out of danger yet so let us continue our efforts.”

Aragorn motioned for the healers to boil as much athelas as possible. The fresh scent of the herb filled the room, easing Pippin’s mind once more, making him breathe easier amidst his sorrow. It seemed to him that a bit of color had returned to Merry’s cheeks and his face seemed less in distress than before.

“Now comes the difficult part in finding where his mind has wondered off to in the nightmares that are still present in the semi-conscious state… We need to ensure that emotionally Merry is able to fight the Black Breath.”

Aragorn closed his eyes as he placed a warm cloth bathed in athelas on Merry’s hand, shoulder and side, murmuring snatches of Elvish into Merry’s ear in which Pippin could not understand.

It seemed like an hour had passed before Merry stirred, and his expression relaxed a bit and his breath deepened. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open and he squinted at the bright light and saw Aragorn and Pippin peering over him. He was resting in a soft bed, his arm bound in a sling, and there was a sweet fragrance in the air. Had he been asleep for long? Where was he?

“Merry! So glad to see you awake again! Are you all right? How are you feeling?” Pippin was beyond ecstatic to see Merry’s eyes open again and he squeezed his cousin’s left hand tightly.

“Hello Pippin—what time is it? I’m hungry,” Merry replied, slowly sitting up with the aid of Aragorn’s support. “Was I asleep for long? It felt dark and cold most of the time and I saw many horrible images.” Merry shuddered in memory.

“You were suffering from the Black Shadow, as they call it here in Gondor,” said Aragorn, gently covering Merry’s shoulders with the blanket. “But you’ve gone through the worst of it and I am glad to see you awake again. How does your hand and arm feel?”

“I don’t feel much but it doesn’t hurt like it did before,” said Merry. “Thank you, Aragorn, for bringing me back— those dark thoughts I had do not seem as clear now but I do remember being quite afraid for a while,” Merry paused as if in thought. “But then again, there were some images of the Shire, dimmed as they were but I remember still, a voice that kept on calling me back…”

“Pippin has been by your side for some time now and I am certain that he was speaking to you even before Aragorn came,” said Gandalf. “I’m glad that you were able to fight to darkness, Meriadoc. Hobbits have been known to resist the Black Shadow quite well,” Gandalf paused as if he were thinking back an earlier part of the Quest. “You may have anything that you desire, if it can be found in Minas Tirith, where your name is in honor.”***

Aragorn checked Merry’s pulse again and gave him some tea to drink. “It does help to have someone by your side at all times, especially for those afflicted with the Black Shadow. Bringing you back from darkness seemed a bit easier than it was for Eowyn,” Aragorn’s features became grim again as if in deep contemplation.

Merry was quiet in thought for a moment but then asked, “Is Lady Eowyn all right? The last time I saw her, she was pale and unconscious and I hope that she has since then recovered?”

“She is also in the Houses of Healing and is recovering as you are from the hurts that the Witch-king had inflicted,” said Aragorn as he brought a food tray to Merry. “She has woken and is recovering just like you are.”

“I would like to visit her after we’ve eaten… She was quite brave in slaying the Witch-king,” said Merry pensively.

“You’re a courageous hobbit too, Merry! I’ve been frightfully worried though,” Pippin said as he put his arms around his cousin. “You’ve been talking long in your sleep and you were so pale and unconscious for so long---“

“Well, I’m back and am all right now, Pip,” replied Merry glancing up at Pippin and smiling, trying to assure him that he was feeling better and did not need his younger cousin to worry about him. But then Merry frowned. “I don’t suppose I’ll ever smoke again though—King Theoden’s dead….” With that thought, Merry felt upset again and closed his eyes as if trying to hold back tears.

“Smoke and think of him… for he was gentle heart and a great king who kept his oaths, and fought hard.*** He would want you to continue your old habits and not stop because he has passed on from this world,” Aragorn said. “Do not worry so much, Merry. Rest and take it easy for a while. Please alert me if your arm hurts. I’m going to rest a little as well and then go back to healing others who have been hurt.” Aragorn turned and left with Gandalf as Pippin stayed with Merry.

The hobbits each ate in silence for a while as both were immersed in their own thoughts.

Noticing the silence, Merry said, “All right Pippin. I am fine now…how are you doing? You still have an uncharacteristically worried look in your eyes. I’m truly feeling better, Pip. Pippin?”

Pippin hesitated and then said, “I was just really scared, I must admit. While you were…unconscious, you murmured a lot in your sleep. I could not wake you and I was afraid.” Pippin clutched onto Merry’s good hand while tears had gathered in his eyes once more.

“Oh Pip! It’s all right now; I’m fine really I am,” Merry gave him his best grin possible, squeezing Pippin’s hand in reassurance. “It takes more than a Witch-king to take down the future Master of Buckland. Besides, I’m glad I took part in bringing down the foul creature that had hurt Frodo…” Merry’s voice drifted as memories of Weathertop had indeed seemed to be part of the nightmares he had.

“Merry? Are you all right? You still seem a bit pale.”

“No, I’m all right, Pip. I was just thinking that it was not only the fact that I did not want Lady Eowyn to die unaided; she was so desperate and alone; I thought of Frodo too at that instance and that is what drove my courage, I guess.”

“You’re quite valiant, dear Merry. I’m just glad that you’re on the mend,” said Pippin, as he climbed onto the Man-sized bed and wrapped his arms around Merry’s shoulders.

“Just have to remember that in battle, what drives you is who you love and who you’re willing to fight for. I wanted to fight for Lady Eowyn, for King Theoden--- but mostly I was thinking of Frodo. It is best to love first what you are fitted to love, I suppose: you must start somewhere and have some roots, and the soil of the Shire is deep. But I do not know why I’m speaking like this. ***”

“Because Brandybucks do not know how to keep quiet even if they tried,” said Pippin with a broad grin. “I’m glad you’re back, dear Merry. Talkative and like your old self,” Pippin and snuggled closer to Merry.

“And I’m glad you found me and brought me here too, Pip. I’ll be all right—I’m glad to find you all right as well. You must’ve gone through a lot during your time in this city,” said Merry as he put his left arm around Pippin’s shoulders.

“It has been quite dreary, I must admit. But I found good company in Beregond and his son Bergil. I’m glad we won the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. At least the enemy knows that we are strong…”

“I’m glad to find my mischievous and scheming Took in one piece,” Merry stared at Pippin’s fine armor and asked, “You’ve decided to swear fealty to the Lord of Gondor as well? You must be a mind reader for I did the same for Rohan!”

“We are cousins for a reason, Merry—it just seemed like the right thing to do, you know… Boromir did save our lives. We owe Gondor so much,” said Pippin pensively.

“Boromir did indeed save us… and we are forever indebted to his kindness and sacrifice,” replied Merry with a sigh.

“But enough of seriousness, I want to smoke a bit before I must get back to my many duties,” said Pippin dramatically.

“Many duties—that’s quite a laugh, Pip—I never knew you could do more than sleep and eat all day,” Merry said jokingly.

“Maybe I enjoy it when you sleep more … then you wouldn’t tease me so,” Pippin replied, feigning insult. Then his expression softened into a smile as he said, “Merry, I’m so glad you’re all right.”

“Me too Pip, me too,” replied Merry as he hugged Pippin close to him. “Thank you for helping me.”

“It’s my job to keep you out of trouble, I couldn’t help it,” replied Pippin, hugging Merry back tightly.

Then, the two hobbits sat back and prepared their pipes, and as they smoked their pipeweed they thought about the Shire and for a moment, they were at peace with themselves and did not worry about what the future held for them.

~fin~

***Quotes taken or paraphrased from The Houses of Healing, RotK





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