18: Redeeming the Oath

Námo was more subdued after what everyone was calling the "Red Star Incident". He was less insistent on play and went about his tasks with little joy. He was also less inclined to argue with Manwë or the other Ayanumuz and he gave orders to his Máyar seemingly in an apologetic tone, as if he feared that his own People would reject his authority. This was a worrying thing for all concerned and no one, not even Manwë, seemed to know what to do about it.

"I think we need for him to come to terms with what happened on his own," Manwë said to them all during one of Námo’s sleep periods. Maranwë had been particularly upset, for his lord had offered no arguments when Manwë had told him to go and rest and when Calimo had tentatively suggested a white dwarf star for Námo’s ‘bed’, the Ayanuz merely had only nodded and gone dutifully to sleep without protest.

"This is just a minor setback," Irmo informed them. "It was bound to happen," he added. "I think he will rebound more quickly if we simply treat him as we have been. Eventually he will see that we do not think the less of him because of what happened." He looked pointedly at Námo’s Máyar. "That is especially true for you Máyar."

"Are we to pretend nothing happened?" Tindomerel asked, her expression one of confusion.

"No," Manwë replied. "Yet, neither should you act as if you expect him to attack you at any moment. He must know that you still trust him and that he can trust you."

"B-but of course we trust him," Maranwë exclaimed in surprise. "He’s our lord, after all."

Námo’s other Máyar nodded in agreement. Manwë smiled. "That is well. Be sure to let him know this, for right now he feels guilty and he fears your hatred."

The thought of ever hating their lord was so alien to Námo’s Máyar that none of them could respond adequately to Manwë’s words. Maranwë finally bowed to the Eldest. "We will endeavor to allay any fears or feelings of guilt he may have, lord."

Manwë nodded his acknowledgment of Maranwë’s words on behalf of his fellow Máyar and dismissed them.

****

In spite of the setback, Námo did seem to be acting more responsibly and was not as immature in his responses to things as before. At one point, he simply told Manwë that he no longer felt the need to sleep on a regular basis but he would take rest periods whenever Irmo or Estë felt he needed them. Manwë agreed, secretly pleased that Námo was beginning to take charge of his own well-being.

Now, whenever he rested, Námo was more likely to do so in hröa, selecting a planet randomly and spending time wandering through fields or forests or sitting quietly by a lake or an ocean. Always his Máyar were there and one of the Ayanumuz, usually either Irmo or Oromë, for he felt the most comfortable with them. Given Námo’s task of hunting down unsettled areas of Eä and bringing Order out of Chaos, Oromë’s skills of finding things proved useful. All noticed though that Námo rarely visited the more remote wastelands of the cosmos, preferring to send his Máyar to those areas to restore the space-time continuum to its proper state, only going there if absolutely necessary. They noticed as well that when such necessity did force him to leave the local group of galaxies he would return from his task looking exhausted, his aura greying towards the ultra-violet, his demeanor one of extreme nervousness and he would not let anyone, not even Irmo, come close to him for some time afterwards. As well, he would end up sleeping for far longer than normal.

"He is in fear of Melkor finding him away from the safety of home," Irmo opined to Manwë when the Eldest enquired about Námo’s state. "Even with all the Máyar guards, he still feels vulnerable and the... emotional drain of pretending otherwise proves too much at times, I think."

Manwë considered these words and spoke to Varda about them, but neither could come up with a viable solution to help the younger Ayanuz, except to ask Námo’s Máyar to do all they could to obviate their lord’s need to leave the relative safety of their home galaxy. Maranwë assured them that he and his fellows were aware of what their lord was experiencing and were doing their best to alleviate his worries.

"Yet, there are some things we are not able to accomplish on our own, lord," Maranwë stated, "for we do not have the power even collectively to accomplish what one of the Ayanumuz may do alone."

Manwë nodded. "I am aware of this, and to delegate such tasks to another of us would only demean Námo and make things worse. Eventually, he will have to come to terms with this. I do not intend to have my People guarding him to the end of Eä’s existence. At some point, he will have to rely on his own People to guard him."

"And he must begin to guard himself," Varda added. "I fear that our younger brother must eventually face Melkor again or he will never be free of our Fallen Brother’s hold on him."

Maranwë’s aura went white with shock at the thought of his beloved master having to face the Fallen One again, but he knew, to his sorrow, that such was inevitable and vowed to himself that when that day came, he would be there beside his lord in his hour of need.

****

Time continued forward and the stars of the Children’s galaxy shifted two or three more degrees. Námo was resting on a planet orbiting a yellow dwarf star somewhere in their home galaxy. He was sitting on a black sand beach watching the waves hit the shore and observing a total eclipse of the planet’s primary by one of the two moons this world boasted. He found the sight fascinating as darkness covered him even though it was the middle of the day. He watched with interest as the planet’s satellite seemingly swallowed the sun until only its corona was visible. He decided to unclothe himself so as to enjoy the phenomenon on all wavelengths.

"A beautiful sight, is it not?" Irmo asked, for it was his turn to watch over Námo.

"Yes," Námo said. "Very beautiful."

"How many have you witnessed?" Irmo asked.

Námo shrugged. "Not that many," he replied. "I haven’t paid much attention to them, but I do like how eerie everything seems."

Irmo chuckled as Námo slipped back into hröa and walked into the surf, letting the ocean waves take him. For a while he swam under the spectral light of the eclipse. Except for the crashing of the waves on the beach, there was no other sound, for this world had yet to produce any animal life. Irmo contented himself with walking along the shore, keeping an eye on his charge (as he saw Námo), while giving his brother the space that he needed.

As the moon slowly moved across the face of the sun, the sky began to brighten and soon the light returned. Námo came out of the water then and allowed the heat of the day to warm and dry his hröa.

"Do you plan to sleep or just rest?" Irmo asked him with a smile.

"I think I would like to lie here in the sand and perhaps let the warmth lull me to sleep," Námo replied with his own smile.

Irmo nodded. "Sounds good. I’ll keep watch."

"Where are the Máyar?" Námo asked as he settled himself on the beach well away from the surf line, idly covering himself with the warm black sand. "They’re usually with us."

"They’re guarding the system," Irmo answered. "We’re actually more vulnerable to an attack here than if you were inside a star."

Námo frowned. "I should have thought of that."

"Do not concern yourself, Námo," Irmo said soothingly. "The Máyar are quite capable of protecting us. Rest now. All is well."

Námo nodded reluctantly, but when it was obvious to him that Irmo was not concerned, he settled back into the sand, closing his eyes and letting the warmth of the sand covering him and the shushing of the waves breaking on the beach lull him into true sleep.

****

Irmo was idly humming to himself as he pushed the wet sand around him, building something. He wasn’t sure what he was building but he piled the sand and began shaping it with the hands of his hröa and the power of his mind. Námo was still sleeping, and had been for some time. The planet’s primary was already slipping towards the horizon, bathing the sky with shades of indigo and rose while the blue of the sea was turning almost emerald green as darkness approached. Irmo was wondering if Námo would waken soon or sleep through the hours of night, but was not overly concerned either way. He was content to sit and play with the sand until his brother chose to awaken. So he was rather surprised when Námo suddenly sat up.

"Vairë!" Námo shouted, looking about in confusion. "Where’s Vairë?"

"Námo, is something wrong?" Irmo asked, silently alerting the Máyar who ringed the system on guard and then sending a thought to Manwë as well.

"Vairë," Námo repeated the name, now looking distraught. "I need to find Vairë."

Irmo went to Námo, attempting to soothe him. "Peace, brother," he said. "Vairë is with Nienna. Do you not remember?"

Námo blinked at him, his expression blank. "No... I ... she... was with... with him and then...."

"And then you rescued her," Irmo finished for him. "Now she is with Nienna. Do you not remember rescuing her and Therindë?"

Námo nodded reluctantly, as if he was not entirely sure that what his brother had told him was correct. Then his expression cleared somewhat and he gave Irmo a considering look. "I need to see her."

"And you shall," Irmo assured him. "Manwë will let Nienna know. Shall we go find him?"

Námo nodded again while Irmo relayed his orders to the Máyar. "Let us go then," he said, sending Námo the necessary spatiotemporal coordinates to where Manwë was presently holding court and then they were gone.

****

Manwë and Varda were overseeing a project of Ulmo’s when Irmo alerted them to Námo’s precipitous awakening and desire to see Vairë. The Eldest exchanged a measured look with his spouse. "I think the time has come to call Vairë home," Manwë said and Varda nodded.

Even as Námo and Irmo appeared with their Máyar, Nienna also was there with Vairë in tow, their respective Máyar with them. As soon as Námo saw Vairë, he ignored everyone else and went to her.

"Vairë!" he exclaimed. "Art thou well?"

Vairë smiled at him. "Yes, Námo, I am well. And thou? Art thou well?"

Námo started to nod, then stopped and shook his head. "Nay, I am not... b-but I... I think I’m getting better." He found himself becoming shy before her all of a sudden without understanding why.

Whatever pain Vairë might have felt at that admission she did not show it. Instead, she smiled at him. "I am glad to hear it... we all are."

"I think while we are all here," Manwë said, "we should see about Vairë redeeming her Máyar."

Námo gave him a puzzled look. "Redeem?"

"Do you not remember taking Ilinsor’s oath on behalf of all of Vairë’s Máyar when she went missing?" Manwë asked Námo gently.

Námo shook his head. "No. Sorry."

Manwë sighed and looked at Varda and Ulmo. The latter frowned. "I do not know if it is proper for the redemption to go forward when Námo does not remember."

"And if he never does, what then?" Varda asked.

None had an answer to that and Vairë looked distraught, as did her Máyar who moved closer to their lady, as if afraid they would be ripped from her presence. Námo noticed this and frowned. He shook his head, turning his attention back to Manwë. "It matters not if I remember," he said. "I will not keep what does not belong to me. Let Vairë redeem her People howsoever she chooses. I will not gainsay her."

Manwë nodded. "In that case, I think it behooves us to summon all our People as witnesses so there is no doubt that thou, Námo, art freely releasing the Máyar back to thee, my daughter." He turned to Vairë as he said this. "We shall summon thee and thy People when the time is meet." Vairë bowed in acknowledgment to his words. Manwë then turned back to Námo. "And thou, we also shall summon at the proper time. Until then, go about your tasks as ye are accustomed."

With that Manwë and Varda left, along with Ulmo and Nienna, leaving Irmo, Námo and Vairë with their Máyar. For a long period of time no one spoke or moved, not sure what should be said or done. Finally, though, seeing the absurdity of it all, Námo’s aura brightened in amusement. He looked pointedly at Vairë. "So, do you want me to throw you into a star core or something while we’re waiting?"

At first Vairë just stared at him in disbelief and then she started laughing and soon all joined her. In the end, they decided to go surfing in the corona of the star that Námo and Irmo had watched being eclipsed. That is where they were found when the summons finally came.

****

Námo, Irmo and Vairë, surrounded by their Máyar emerged on the planet where the Máhanumaz often met to discuss things. Námo looked about with interest, for he had not been here since returning to Eä proper, had in fact, forgotten about this world until then. Memories of previous visits and councils flooded him and certain things he had heard his fellows say since his return now made more sense as memories filled the void of his mind where the past lay.

"I remember this place," he said to Irmo quietly and his brother beamed with delight, for Námo was not to know that the decisions had been made that he would not be included in any of the discussion among the Máhanumaz until such time as he actually asked about them or otherwise indicated that he remembered where they met and why. Now his brother could begin to take his proper place among the Ayanumuz more fully.

They made their way to the amphitheater where the other ten Ayanumuz were along with Eönwë, standing beside his lord. The rest of the Máyar formed a ring about the center. Manwë gestured for the three to join them, along with Námo and Vairë’s Máyar. Námo was surprised when Vairë’s Máyar joined with his rather than remaining with Vairë, who stood looking rather bereft with only Nienna by her side to offer her support. Manwë gave the two a sympathetic look and spoke to them privately.

*Be not surprised, my son, that Vairë’s People mingle with yours,* he told Námo. *Technically speaking, they still belong to you and cannot formally return to Vairë until the Oath is redeemed.*

Námo nodded his acceptance of this and he was glad to see that Vairë looked less distraught as well. Manwë then addressed them all.

"We are here to stand witness to the redeeming of an Oath given and accepted. When our sister Vairë was lost to us for a time, her People approached our brother Námo to petition him in accepting them as his Own until such time as their Lady returned and could ransom them. Our brother accepted their Oaths. Now both have been restored to us and the time has come for the redeeming of that Oath."

Námo had gone still as Manwë spoke and now his expression was troubled. "If Vairë’s People sought protection from me when she went missing," he enquired, "what happened to them and my own People when... when... I was....well, you know...." he ended on a helpless note, feeling stupid and embarrassed at not being able to articulate what had happened to him. No one seemed to notice.

Manwë merely nodded his understanding. "Before you left to rescue Vairë you placed your Máyar and Vairë’s in your sister’s care, but there was no formal oath-taking, therefore we may dispense with that where your own People are concerned. However, Ilinsor and Vairë’s other Máyar did, in effect, switch allegiance even though conditioned by Vairë’s return. Eönwë stood as formal witness to that in my stead and will record this ceremony as well. We could have merely done so without everyone here, but I felt it necessary that all see Vairë’s People restored to her and that the restoration was done freely and without condition on your part."

Námo indicated his understanding and then asked his next question, almost shyly. "So... what do I do?"

Varda smiled warmly at him. "For your part, do what your heart tells you to do, child. All else will flow from that." She turned to Vairë, who was looking equally unsure about how to proceed. "And you as well, daughter."

Vairë nodded. For a moment she and Námo just looked at each other, not entirely sure what to do and then Námo made a decision. He still had no memory of the oath-taking but that did not matter. He gestured for Ilinsor to stand beside him with Maranwë on his other side, then turned his attention back to Vairë. "My sister," he said, speaking with as much formality as he could, "in thine absence thy People sought protection from me that they be not bereft of lord or duty. They have proven true to their oaths and now I would right gladly return them to their proper place among us, if thou art willing to accept them back into thy keeping."

Vairë nodded assent. "My brother," she said with equal formality, "right gladly do I accept mine own back and I thank thee for thy care of them whom I love most dearly."

Námo then turned to Ilinsor. "My child, you and your brethren were orphaned but see now, your Lady hath returned and would welcome you back. Will ye go to her in love and joy, accepting your Lady’s will in all things as you once accepted mine?"

Ilinsor bowed to Námo. "Yea, verily I will, my lord, I and my fellows. And we thank thee for accepting us into thy heart and thy protection. Know that thou hast our love for what thou hast done for us."

Then, on impulse, he knelt one last time before Námo and all the rest of Vairë’s People did the same. Námo felt a frisson of shock race through him as a door to a memory opened and he saw himself before a group of kneeling Máyar and recognized Ilinsor amongst them. He nodded as the memory flowed through his mind, taking its proper place within the sequence of his past.

"Go then, my children," he said, "and return ye to your Lady in gladness and in joy and know that you have my love as well." Then he reached down and raised Ilinsor up, bringing him to stand before Vairë. "Here, my sister, take back what is thine for I gladly and freely release these children into thy care as is meet for me to do."

"I thank thee, my brother," Vairë said with a smile, and took Ilinsor into her embrace. "Welcome back, Ilinsor," she said. "Welcome back, my child." Then she opened herself to all her other Máyar. "Welcome back, my children." Vairë’s People rose and went to her as she embraced them one at a time, naming them, her love for them obvious to all.

Námo turned to Maranwë with a smile. "It’s good to see a family restored, isn’t it?"

Maranwë smiled back. "Yes, lord, it is very good."