20: Designing Worlds

"So, have you decided what sort of world you want to create to adorn Atháraphelun’s system?" Vairë idly asked Námo as they were taking their ease some time later.

Námo shrugged as he threw a dirty snowball the size of a small mountain at Irmo. "I haven’t decided yet," he answered her. They were at their favorite ‘playground’ as Oromë called it, "Since yours is presently off limits," he had quipped when none of the Máyar were around.

Both Ayanumuz had been busy of late — Námo overseeing the final stages of the construction of the flat world by Manwë’s orders; Vairë consulting with Irmo and Nienna on some project she refused to discuss with him. The Ayanumuz were taking turns overseeing the construction of the flat Atháraphelun, which duty had been left to the Máyar, while the Ayanumuz concentrated on constructing the real Atháraphelun. That project was hidden behind a wall of Chaos that Námo had constructed in one of the farther regions of Eä, a region where none of the Máyar were likely to go.

"And any that do," Manwë had said once the barriers had been set, "we will know to keep a closer eye on." The others had agreed, little though they liked the thought of further treachery from the ranks of the Máyar. Acairis’ betrayal was still fresh in their minds.

"I think Manwë and Varda want to work on one together." Námo continued to speak as he waited for the iceball to be tossed back. "Aulë said he has a mind to create the closest world to where the star will eventually go. He said something about needing a more permanent furnace for his projects."

"Yes," Vairë said with a slight smile. "Yavanna was complaining that his collection of star cores is cluttering up our star system. She told me that if he drags one more piece of rock home, she’s moving to another system."

Námo laughed at that even as he negligently caught the iceball from Oromë and tossed it on to Irmo. "What sort of planet were you thinking of creating?" he asked.

Now it was Vairë’s turn to shrug and she went suddenly shy, her pretty indigo aura shading towards green. "I... I was thinking that... well... mayhap we could... you know..."

"Vairë, you’re stammering," Námo said gently with a teasing smile. She glared at him for a moment and then gave a merry laugh.

"I am, aren’t I?" she acquiesced. Her aura steadied and returned to its normal hue. "I was only trying to say that I thought it would be fun to design a world together."

Now he was the one to start stammering. "Y-you mean the t-two of us? Together?"

Vairë’s aura brightened with amusement at Námo’s reaction. "Yes, the two of us, together," she answered, then evinced a nonchalant air. "Of course, if you’d rather not..."

"No! I mean yes, I mean..." Now Námo was simply confused. "Why?"

"Why what?" Vairë asked, her expression quizzical.

"I mean... why do you want to do this together?"

"Námo, do you not remember your feelings for me?" she asked quietly. She was not sure if she should press the matter, but it had been niggling at her, the uncertainty and Námo’s apparent lack of interest in her once they were reunited.

Námo wasn’t sure how to answer her question. His memories were still somewhat tattered. Most were intact and he seemed to remember things like his work and the fact that he was the Keeper of the Variable, but he was still struggling with remembering relationships. Irmo and Oromë were the only ones among the Ayanumuz with whom he felt at all comfortable. Manwë he saw more like an extension of Atar rather than an older brother and he was more formal with him. As for Vairë....

"Hey, are you playing or what?" Oromë shouted to him, even as he threw the miniature mountain his way.

Námo captured the snowball, glad for the diversion. "Yes, I’m playing," he replied, casting an apologetic look at Vairë. "Can we have this discussion later? I... I think I might like to work on one of the other worlds with you... but... I...."

Vairë resisted a sigh and merely indicated her consent. "Perhaps later we can discuss what kind of world we would like to see adorning Atháraphelun’s skies," she said, then gave him a wicked smirk. "Now, are you going to throw that stupid snowball or have you decided to start your own collection?"

Námo stared in surprise at the chunk of interstellar ice that he still held, having quite forgotten about it and blushed, throwing it to Irmo even as Vairë laughed.

****

The construction of both Atháraphelumun went apace. Ulmo and Aulë made a show of restructuring the physics in the region where the flat world was being built, even going so far as to create a crystal sphere in which to encase the false star system. Varda also provided some verisimilitude to the project by bringing forth a yellow star and setting it in motion around the world, thus providing it with day and night. Vána offered her own chief Máya, Arien, to act as the star’s guide, telling the Máya that her task was the most important for she would help bring light to the Children. It had been decided not to tell the Máyar about Námo’s pronouncement concerning how the Firstborn should awaken in starlight only. Arien, for her part, took the task with great seriousness, delighted that her mistress had entrusted her with such a momentous responsibility. Vána merely nodded at Arien's expressions of gratitude, but Varda went back to Manwë in a rage at the idea that they had had to deceive one of their own. It took Manwë some time to calm her down.

"Perhaps when it comes time for the Children’s star to be brought forth Vána will let Arien assist you," he suggested and that thought seemed to mollify his spouse, but it still grieved her, indeed it grieved all of them, that they were forced to engage in such subterfuge with those whom they saw as their own children.

"It’s only for a while," Námo said consolingly when Varda expressed her dismay. "A small price to pay for ensuring that Atar’s Children have a world ready for their habitation." To that none could argue and so they continued in their tasks, both visible and invisible.

Námo and Vairë did take some time to discuss what kind of world they would create. It was not easy for either of them to agree on anything. "Ulmo is creating that water world that he wants to set some distance from the primary," Námo said once while they were sitting about relaxing. They were on a planet that orbited a blue giant, watching that monstrous star set in sapphirine glory while the sky above them flamed with crimson, emerald and purple light, the high clouds reflecting the dying sun’s blue rays. "He said something about making the planet’s core hot enough to keep the water from freezing. Seems to think he can create simple life forms without benefit of sunlight."

Vairë made a noncommittal noise. Námo grinned at her. "My thought exactly," he replied with a light laugh and she snickered back. "Yavanna wants to have a world with rings, so she’s working on that," he continued, ticking off the names of the other Ayanumuz and their worlds. "I believe Manwë and Varda are working on a similar world. Varda said something about seeing if she could create a world that was just on the border of becoming a star."

Vairë indicated surprise. "A failed star, like those brown dwarfs?"

"I guess," Námo said with a shrug, not really sure and not really caring. "Anyway, Irmo and Estë are thinking of creating a desert world. Not sure why." He shrugged again and Vairë echoed his shrug with one of her own, as much at a loss as he.

"That still leaves three worlds unaccounted for," Vairë said. "What about Oromë and your sister? What do they want to do?"

"Nienna expressed an interest in creating a planet similar to the one Ulmo is thinking of doing." He cast a knowing look at Vairë. "I think they’re having a contest to see who can create the most interesting planet."

Vairë grinned. "Those two should bind themselves to one another."

Námo shook his head. "Nay, I fear my sister has no desire for that and I suspect that Ulmo is the same. They are content in their solitude and simply enjoy one another’s company."

"Well that still leaves Oromë and us," Vairë said. "Has he told you what he wants to do?"

Námo shook his head. "Nay, he has not."

"Well, what should we do, then?" Vairë asked. "I do not want to create a world that is too similar to everyone else’s."

Námo nodded. "We have created many beautiful worlds, both singly and collectively, throughout Eä, yet, none, I deem, are special enough for Atháraphelun."

"Does it need to be special?" Vairë asked with a frown. "Is it not enough that it will be a part of Atháraphelun, set there for the pleasure of the Children? Uniqueness has its place, but perhaps something ordinary...."

"Define ‘ordinary’," Námo demanded with a laugh.

Vairë chuckled. "You know what I mean," she objected.

"Yes, I do and I agree." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps we should design a world that reflects our own joy for the coming of the Children."

Vairë gave him a considering look. "I like that idea." She glanced around her. The blue giant had disappeared beneath the horizon and the sky was now a deep violet. The stars in this part of their home galaxy were like a thick carpet of light overhead, for they were in one of the inner arms of the spiral. "What expresses your joy the most at the thought of the Children?" she finally asked.

For a moment Námo did not respond, then softly, almost at the very edge of thought, he said, "The nermir...they let me be one of them." He looked at Vairë and his expression was one of awe and joy mingled with a deeper emotion bordering on pain. "They were so beautiful... and they let me..."

He couldn’t finish his thoughts and before Vairë could respond he left her and where he fled she did not know, but she alerted Manwë who set Oromë on their damaged brother’s trail once again. Vairë remained where she was, deep in thought.

****

Oromë finally found Námo on the planet of his capture and quickly alerted both Manwë and Maranwë, not knowing what Námo might do in this place of pain and torment. Manwë ordered Námo’s chief Máya to warn his brethren but not to intrude until and unless called for. Maranwë begged to be allowed to join Oromë at least, but Manwë was adamant, though he relented enough to allow the Máyar to ring the planet just in case. It worried Manwë that Námo would go to that particular world when he had been avoiding it for so long. Indeed, many of the Ayanumuz were hoping that would be one memory that their brother would not recover.

Námo was standing in the very field where Vairë and Therindë had been taken. He was in hröa, which surprised Oromë. Being careful not to startle his brother, the future Lord of Forests thought himself a hröa and walked towards Námo who stood there with eyes closed and arms outstretched.

"Námo," Oromë whispered.

Without opening his eyes, Námo answered. "I’m waiting for them to come. Do you see them?"

"Who, brother? For whom are you waiting?"

Now Námo opened his eyes. "The... the nermir," he said somewhat hesitantly. "I’m waiting for them to come so I... so I can be one of them."

Oromë let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding, taking a moment to revel in the fact that he actually was breathing. The scent of wildflowers and sweet grass, the wind blowing odors of wet earth and mold from the distant forest intrigued him and set his blood racing. He had to take a couple of deep breaths to gather himself and concentrate on Námo, who stood there gazing at him with interest, a faint smile on his face.

"The sensations are overwhelming aren’t they?" he asked wryly.

Oromë nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet. Being in hröa was not an experience he had often. He gave Námo a considering look. "No wonder you went insane at the end. How do you stand to be in hröa even now?"

Námo tilted his head in thought. "Was I insane? I don’t remember. I just remember..." he shook his head and glanced around, turning slowly until he was facing Oromë again, giving him a puzzled look. "It’s different... everything is different."

"What is, brother?" Oromë asked carefully.

"Where are the nermir?" Námo asked instead of giving a direct answer. "I... I want to see them again."

"I do not know, Námo," Oromë answered. "Perhaps they only exist in a season. This part of the world is slowly turning towards the cold season. When we were last here it was the height of the warm season. Perhaps they can only live where it is warm."

"Should we go look?" Námo asked, sounding excited.

Oromë gave Námo a considering look and then a slow grin spread across his visage. "I’ll race you to the north pole."

Námo laughed gaily and started running. "You’re on."

Oromë stood there stunned for a moment. "Wait," he called to the retreating Námo, "I thought we were going to disincarnate first."

Námo turned around and stopped, hands on hips, his expression one of amazement. "Well, what’s the fun of that?"

Oromë just stared at his younger brother for a moment and then he started laughing, "Indeed, what is the fun of that? Shall we start again?" He loped over to where Námo stood.

Námo grinned. "On the count of three... One...two... three!" And they were off.

Maranwë and Námo’s other Máyar watched the race from the vantage point of space and began laying bets as to who would win. The two Ayanumuz were island hopping across an archipelago when Námo suddenly dropped. Oromë, two islands ahead, turned and went back, concerned for the younger Ayanuz. He found Námo lying curled up in the sand, fast asleep with a smile on his face. Oromë chuckled to himself and gently lifted his brother up and laid him under a nearby tree with wide fronds providing shade and sat beside him, leaning his hröa against the tree trunk, idly humming while waiting for Námo to waken so they could continue their race.

****

Atháraphelumun: Plural of Atháraphelun.