22: Return to Aman

The Eäremírë sailed serenely into the port of Avallónë just as the sun was setting behind the Pelóri, casting a golden glow to the west. Avallónë itself was in twilight and the silvery lamps of the quays were already lit. Word had been sent ahead, apparently by way of Lord Manwë’s Eagles, and many people crowded the waterfront, waiting to greet the returnees. Glad cries of welcome were called out between ship and shore and there was much excitement. Laurendil, holding Calaldundil in his arms, pointed to where their family stood and the elfling began waving excitedly and crowing with delight when he saw his ammë waving back.

Once the ship came to rest and the gangplank was lowered, Laurendil and Calaldundil were the first off, followed by Vorondil and Eärnur. Many waiting on the quay exclaimed with equal amounts of surprise and horror at the sight of Laurendil’s shorn locks to which he responded with a laugh. Then the exclamations of horror changed to ones of disbelief as several recognized Eärnur and soon the ellon was surrounded by family and friends all vying with one another to be the first to greet one whom they all thought dead.

"I couldn’t understand why Lord Manwë sent the message requesting that we come here," Uinéndilmë, one of Eärnur’s sisters, told Laurendil, "but one does not refuse a summons by the Elder King however strange it might seem."

"And now you know why," Laurendil said with a smile.

The elleth could only smile as tears of joy slipped down her face.

It was some time, as questions and explanations flew back and forth, before anyone realized that others had also come to greet the returnees. Only when Laurendil stopped in the middle of introducing his youngest son to his namesake and bowed deeply to someone making his way through the crowds did anyone realize that Prince Findaráto was there. The Prince of Eldamar ignored everyone else as he swept past them, his eyes on Eärnur alone. He took the ellon into his embrace and all could see they were both weeping as the two friends were once again reunited.

"I’ve waited a long time for this," Findaráto whispered into Eärnur’s ear before stepping back to plant a kiss on the ellon’s forehead.

Eärnur’s expression became calculating and for a long moment he just stared at his friend. "You knew, didn’t you?" he asked softly but Laurendil caught the question and gave the prince his own measuring look.

"All this time?" he asked his liege lord.

Silence reigned about them as people began to discern that perhaps more was happening than they understood. Findaráto gazed serenely upon the two ellyn who had unconsciously moved to stand shoulder to shoulder as if closing ranks. He shook his head slightly. "Only after the fact and not until the Valar decided to send Laurendil to find you. Before that I assumed, as did everyone else, that you were in Mandos."

"But you knew when you sent me... and you said nothing?" Laurendil demanded angrily.

Findaráto gave him a stern look. "You are not the only one bound by oaths, Laurendil. If I did not speak it was not from lack of caring. The knowledge of Eärnur being alive was not mine to impart."

"What about me?" Eärnur asked. "Did you care nothing...."

Findaráto took the Teler into his embrace again. "Hush. Of course I cared, but my hands were tied and I could do nothing for you, as much as I wanted to." He pulled back and gave Eärnur a rueful smile. "Believe me, I was all set to... er... commandeer the first ship I could find..."

"You mean ‘steal’," Eärnur couldn’t help correcting with a smile. Findaráto chose to ignore him.

"...and sail to your rescue, though it would have meant perjuring myself in the process."

"I’m not worth that," Eärnur retorted, all levity gone.

Findaráto shook his head. "Yes, you are," he rejoined, "and I would have too if wiser and calmer heads had not prevailed."

"Meaning the Valar," Eärnur replied with a shrewd look.

"Indeed."

Everyone turned to see Lord Irmo standing there and they all gave him their obeisance. The Vala never took his eyes off Eärnur. "Welcome back, child," the Lord of Lórien said, "we have all missed you and your healing skills."

"But apparently you did not miss me or them enough to bring me home sooner," Eärnur said softly, his voice devoid of emotion.

There was an audible gasp from the crowd. Irmo merely gazed at the ellon, his expression never changing. "Arrangements have been made for you to spend the night here. Tomorrow...."

"Tomorrow I intend to go to Alqualondë to spend time with my family," Eärnur interrupted, his expression now cold and uncompromising. "The Valar can wait."

"I understand..."

"They chained me to my bed every night for nearly two hundred years," Eärnur exclaimed with some heat, "until they were convinced I would not run away. Do not presume to understand anything about me, Lord Irmo. I will come to Ilmarin or Valmar at my convenience, not yours."

There was absolute silence now as the crowd watched the interplay between Eärnur and Lord Irmo. The Vala’s expression was more sad than angry. Finally he nodded. "When you are ready, my son, come to Ilmarin. We will await you there."

Without waiting for a response, the Vala faded away. No one moved or spoke for several tense minutes. Even young Calaldundil remained solemnly silent, though he little understood what had transpired. All were waiting to see what the Teler would do next. Finally, Eärnur released a breath he was unaware he had been holding, staggering somewhat and feeling suddenly fatigued. Findaráto and Laurendil were by his side instantly, supporting him.

"Let’s get you away from here, meldonya," Findaráto whispered. "Time enough for other things in the morning."

Eärnur just nodded, willing to be led away by his two closest friends while their families followed. Findaráto led them along a winding street that ended in a cul-de-sac where a villa was perched upon a bluff overlooking the sea. It belonged to the royal family of Alqualondë, the prince explained to them, and had been made available to them for their use by King Olwë himself. A light repast was waiting for them but Eärnur ate sparingly, too tired to care what he was eating. Soon, he excused himself and retired for the evening, but everyone else sat up late into the night listening to Laurendil tell his tale.

****

Morning found everyone ready to depart. They made their way back to the waterfront where the Eäremírë was waiting to take them to the mainland, Captain Voronwë giving them all warm greetings. The ship would leave Findaráto, Laurendil and his family at the small port that served the Elves of Tirion who wished to cross to Tol Eressëa. It would then continue northward towards Alqualondë with Eärnur and his family. The entire journey, Eärnur spoke to no one, standing by the starboard rail, looking out into the sea. Those nearby thought they heard him singing softly to himself, but none recognized the tune nor the words, for they were sung in Adûnaic. It was a song he had learned centuries before from the fisherfolk of Nindamos.

Finally, the ship reached the mainland and further goodbyes were spoken, though Eärnur’s farewell to Findaráto was perfunctory and devoid of any real warmth, which saddened but did not surprise the prince. He suspected that Eärnur had many adjustments to make before he would be ready to rejoin Amanian society. Eärnur’s farewell to Laurendil was more heartfelt and tearful.

"Send word when you are ready to go to Ilmarin," Laurendil said to him as he offered the ellon a hug. "I will meet you at Eldamas and accompany you."

The Teler nodded, giving Laurendil a shy smile. "Thank you," he whispered, "for everything."

Laurendil gave him a piercing look. "Do not let bitterness rob you of the joy you should have at being home, meldonya. Findaráto does not deserve being snubbed by you. He is not to blame for what happened."

For a moment, Eärnur stared at his friend, then sighed. "I need time, Laurendil," he said apologetically.

"And that you shall have," Laurendil said giving the ellon a final hug and a kiss on his forehead in benediction. Then he followed his family and Findaràto off the ship. Several minutes later, the Eäremírë sailed on, leaving Laurendil and the others to make their way to the horses waiting to take them to Tirion and beyond.

****

It was two weeks before Eärnur was ready to travel on to Ilmarin. During that time Lord Irmo assigned Ingil the task of keeping an eye on the ellon and reporting to the Valar on a regular basis.

"He spent the better part of the first week in tears," the Maia told them, "and refused to speak to anyone about his experiences until King Olwë came to welcome him home. Only then did he unburden himself. He seems calmer and more accepting of what has happened. I think he will be coming to Ilmarin soon. He sent a missive to Lord Laurendil in Lórien last night asking him to meet at the Laughing Vala five nights from now."

"Which means we can expect them no earlier than next Valanya," Námo commented.

Manwë nodded. "Ingwë will be here as well."

"And that is significant, why?" Irmo asked with a smile.

Manwë smiled back. "Significant because Ingwion will be accompanying his atar."

"Ah, yes, of course."

The Valar exchanged meaningful looks. Then Manwë dismissed the Maia, who gave them his obeisance before returning to watch over Eärnur. When the Maia left, the Elder King sighed, looking sad. "I do hope the child will forgive us eventually."

"I think he already has," Námo stated with a straight face, "but he’s enjoying watching us... er... squirm."

"And are we?" Irmo asked his brother with a slight smile.

"Yes," Manwë answered with a grimace.

"And deservedly so," Varda added.

"What about Laurendil, Irmo?" Námo asked his brother. "How is he handling all this?"

"He refuses to speak to me," Irmo replied, "or to Estë. Nor has he resumed his duties. Like Eärnur, he has been spending these last two weeks either with his family or speaking with Findaráto. I think he is waiting to see what Eärnur is going to do first."

"Well, that day is not far off," Námo stated with a frown, "and then we will all see."

****

Laurendil and Findaráto met Eärnur at the Laughing Vala. Eärnur’s reception of Findaráto was much warmer than when they had last seen each other. "I am sorry, meldonya," the Teler said as he embraced Findaráto, giving him a kiss in friendship. "I needed time to...."

"You have no need to apologize to me, otornya," Findaráto exclaimed. "If anything, I’m the one who should apologize, and I do."

"Well, now that everyone has apologized to everyone else for everything, do you think we can get something to eat?" Laurendil asked with a teasing smile as the three of them stood in the courtyard of the inn where they had met. "It was a long ride from Lórien."

The three of them laughed as they went inside.

The next morning saw them on their way to Vanyamar. "We will stay with Ingwë," Findaráto told them, "and then join him and Ingwion when they go to Ilmarin as is their custom on Valanya."

"It will be good to see Ingwion again," Eärnur stated with a smile. "I never got a chance to collect on our last bet."

"Oh? What bet was that?" Laurendil asked with a smile of his own.

Eärnur just shook his head. "Not telling and any way he’s probably forgotten."

"Ingwion forget anything? Not likely," Findaráto exclaimed. "My cousin is notorious for forgetting nothing. If I know him, he’ll make good on the bet with interest."

They reached Vanyamar and the palace of the High King in time for the noon meal and were greeted warmly by all. Ingwion especially was pleased to see Eärnur again and their reunion was merry, full of laughter and gentle teasing. Ingwë, having been kept apprised of all that had happened since Laurendil had returned with Eärnur, was pleased to see that the ellon’s eyes were clear and bright and they held no sorrow or resentment.

That evening, while they were holding an informal feast in honor of Eärnur, Ingwion gestured to one of the servants as they were finishing the final course and taking their ease and whispered something in his ear. The servant nodded, giving the prince a secret smile before carrying out his orders. Eärnur was too busy speaking to Ingwë to notice at first but then he realized that all other conversations had stopped. He looked about in puzzlement, then noticed the wide grin on Ingwion’s face.

"What’s going on?" he asked, looking between Ingwion and the High King whose expression was one of deep amusement.

"Remember that bet we made just before you left?" Ingwion answered.

Eärnur nodded, stealing a quick glance at Findaráto who sat there with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Do you remember who won?"

"I did," Eärnur said, "but really, there’s no need..."

"I always make good on my promises," Ingwion said in all seriousness, "however long it takes. So, here you go." He made a gesture and the same servant came forward carrying a red leather-bound book with a jeweled clasp, which he set before the ellon who simply sat there staring at the tome. "Now, the bet was," Ingwion continued for the benefit of the others, "that whoever lost would act as the servant of the other for one day. Well, I never got a chance to fulfill my end of the bargain, at least not as planned." He gave Eärnur a shake of his head. "Believing you were dead and knowing that when you were finally reborn the last thing you would remember would be a stupid bet, I set out to make a record of how I kept my end of the bargain." He gave Eärnur a nod of his head. "Go ahead, open it."

With some hesitation the ellon complied with the request and opened the book to the first page. He stared at it for some time, reading what was there, a look of puzzlement on his face. Then he turned the page and continued reading. He began to randomly turn the pages and reading what was there before going to another page, stopping after he reached the final page. He looked up at Ingwion. "I... I don’t understand."

Ingwion nodded. "I could not act as your servant for one day, so I set out to act as a servant to other people. That," he gestured with a hand at the book, "is a record of each act of service I rendered to whomever. Once a month I put aside my princely garb and duties and became someone’s servant, chosen randomly among the populace. For that one day, whether I spent it copying records for Atar’s secretary, or sweeping floors or pulling weeds, I did so in your memory. Every month I made a careful record of what I did on that one day and I have done so for the last four hundred years. As soon as we learned of your return, I had the pages assembled into this book. Now you can read it at your leisure and see what I have done with myself."

"But the bet was to act as a servant for just one day," Eärnur protested. "You did this twelve days out of the year for four hundred years. Why?"

Ingwion shrugged, giving the confused ellon a brilliant smile. "Consider it interest and I do not begrudge any of it. In fact, I learned much about myself and the people whom I served. Some have since become very good friends, friends I would never have had if it hadn’t been for you leaving."

"But for four hundred years?" Eärnur exclaimed in disbelief.

"And I would have done it for four hundred more, or for however long it took before you were returned to us," retorted Ingwion with equanimity.

"I... I don’t know what to say," Eärnur replied.

Ingwion stood up and went to Eärnur and pulled him into an embrace. "There is nothing you need say, but perhaps, someday, you might be able to return the favor."

"What do you mean?"

"When you are ready, perhaps you would write down your own story of living among the fisherfolk of Nindamos. I would treasure such a gift."

"We all would," Ingwë interjected with sincerity.

Eärnur nodded. "Perhaps I will."

Ingwion gave him another hug and then let him go. When they resumed their seats, Ingwë encouraged the Teler to read some of the book out loud. With a glance at Ingwion for permission, the ellon complied and the rest of the evening was spent laughing over some of the more absurd tasks Ingwion had been made to perform during his times of service. Later, when Ingwë looked in on Eärnur, it was to find the ellon fast asleep with a gentle smile on his face, the book firmly clasped in his arms.

****

Ilmarin was much as Eärnur remembered from his last visit. They were even shown into the same audience chamber where he had had his fateful visit with the Elder King and Lord Námo. Now, beside those two Valar, Lady Varda, Lord Irmo and Lord Ulmo were also there. Ingwë and Ingwion accompanied Eärnur, Findaráto and Laurendil to the audience. After the Elves gave the Valar their obeisance, Manwë greeted them graciously, his expression serene. Eärnur was the only one who appeared nervous, though he tried to hide it.

"Let me begin, Eärnur," the Elder King said when all were seated, "by apologizing for what we did. It was not an easy decision to make, but Námo saw some things concerning Númenórë that disturbed us and sending you there when we did was the only solution we could come up with to prevent grave harm to those Atani faithful to us and Eru."

Eärnur nodded, but his eyes were on Ulmo. "Was it necessary for my friend to die on my account, though?"

Ulmo’s expression was grave, but it was Námo who answered. "I know this concept is difficult to understand, Eärnur, but it was the Lord of Andúnië’s time. He would have made that journey whether you were on board or not and the storm would have arisen regardless. It was simply his time to depart from the Circles of Arda."

The ellon sighed, tears forming. "They said the same thing, but I didn’t want to believe them."

"Who said it, meldonya?" Laurendil asked gently.

"The fisherfolk. They kept telling me that if my friend had died it was because it was his time to do so. They seemed so fatalistic about it."

Námo shook his head, giving Eärnur a sympathetic look. "Say rather that they were accepting of this one fact: death is their final destination whether they are given the opportunity to offer back the gift of their lives to Eru or not. All Mortals die. Your friend was destined to die on that journey. I assure you that neither he nor his crew suffered unduly. Ulmo saw to that and they are now all safely beyond the Circles of Arda as Eru decreed where no evil can ever touch them. Take comfort in that, if in nothing else, child."

For a moment, Eärnur sat there, not looking at anyone as he contemplated Námo’s words. Finally, he looked up and gave the Vala a brief nod of acquiescence.

"Do you understand now why we could not allow you to leave the island?" Ulmo asked.

"Yes, but why was I made to suffer for four hundred years before..."

"Fiondil Ardamirion was not your only... assignment, shall we say," Manwë replied. "We wished to save the fisherfolk as well."

"Why just those of Nindamos and not the others?" Eärnur asked.

"We have our reasons, child," Ulmo answered. "Reasons that do not concern you now, for your part in this is over. You are home now and free to take up your life again."

"How?" the ellon demanded with some heat. "How do I just pick up where I left off? Too much has happened to me. I am no longer the naive little fool who blithely left Aman four hundred years ago at your request."

"You are not a fool, child," Ingwë intervened, "though you were naive, but only as we all are who have never left the bliss of Aman for the darker world beyond. At least you now have something in common with Findaráto and Laurendil and they can help you with your readjustment if you will let them."

"We’ve been where you are, otornya," Findaráto said with a sympathetic smile. "In a sense, you are as much a Reborn as any who have died and have had to start their lives over again once released from Mandos. Perhaps you should consider returning to Lórien, not as a Master Healer, but as a patient, at least until you get your bearings."

"I think Findaráto’s idea has merit, child," Irmo said. "You might even consider spending time with my sister, Nienna."

Eärnur nodded reluctantly. "I... I tried to imagine returning to Lórien and taking up my duties there and... I think I would rather go to Lady Nienna’s instead." Now he looked at them with some embarrassment. "I find being in the presence of so many other Elves somewhat unnerving, almost as if I were one of the Atani."

"An understandable reaction," Irmo stated without any condemnation. "You need time to adjust to being back with your own people. Spending some time at my sister’s should help. When you are ready, you can then return to Lórien where you may do as you please, take up some of your duties, seek further counseling, whatever you need. We’re all here to help you, if you will let us."

Eärnur nodded and then began weeping softly. "I’m sorry... I...."

Laurendil went to comfort his friend but Varda reached him first, taking the ellon into her embrace and gently rocking him. "No, child," she said softly, "you have nothing to be sorry about."

She continued rocking him for a time until his weeping stilled and he became calm again. Everyone else remained quiet, their expressions ones of understanding and love. Finally, Eärnur collected himself and resumed his seat with a soft ‘thank you’ to Varda, accepting a handkerchief from Findaráto and a glass of wine from Laurendil as he did so, giving them both a shy smile. The Valië merely smiled at the three ellyn before returning to her own chair.

"Then, it is settled," Manwë said. "Eärnur will spend some time with Nienna and hopefully, one day, the residents of Lórien will once again enjoy the benefit of his presence as a Master Healer."

"My People and I all look forward to that day," Irmo said with a smile.

"Is that agreeable to you, child?" Námo asked, giving the ellon a measuring look.

Eärnur nodded. " Yes, lord, it is." Then he brightened somewhat and they could sense his excitement. "And I have much knowledge to impart, for I learned some interesting things as a healer among the Atani."

"Then, when you are ready, I would like to sit down and have you tell me what you learned," Irmo said, "and perhaps we can arrange for you to impart that knowledge to the other healers as well."

"Starting with me," Laurendil said with a smile. "Remember the lórefen?"

Eärnur nodded. "I managed to bring some with me."

"Good, for I admit that in the excitement of trying to escape from that valley of death, I’d forgotten all about it."

"Then it’s a good thing one of us knows how to think under pressure, isn’t it?" Eärnur retorted with a wicked grin and they all laughed, Laurendil laughing the loudest.

It was obvious by then that the audience was over. As the Elves began to say their farewells with Eärnur making arrangements with Irmo about going to Nienna’s, Laurendil sought out the Lord of Mandos, a gleam of mischief in his eyes. "You should know, my lord," he said to Námo, "that I met a Woman of the Atani who has a cat, a black cat with a splotch of white on his forehead."

"Indeed," Námo replied, casting a considering look at the ellon, wondering where this was going.

"Yes," Laurendil said with a straight face, "and you’ll never guess what she named him."

"Do tell," the Lord of Mandos retorted.

"Bannoth."

"Excuse me?" Námo asked in disbelief, quite aware of the amused smiles on his fellow Valar’s faces.

Laurendil nodded. "But not because of his coloring, mind you."

"An obvious conclusion," Manwë interjected with a facetious smile. Varda rolled her eyes, Irmo snorted and even Ulmo chuckled into his beard.

"So why did this presumptuous Woman name her cat after me?" Námo asked with a mock glare.

Laurendil simply smiled at the Vala’s demeanor. "She told me, and I quote, ‘because he likes to make pronouncements of doom when I don’t feed him on time’."

*Now that sounds familiar,* came Vairë’s voice in their minds, her tone one of wry amusement.

For a second there was absolute silence and then Námo threw back his head and laughed. Soon they were all laughing and then to everyone’s surprise and delight Eärnur began singing a silly ditty he had learned from the children of the fisherfolk about a cat playing a fiddle and the laughter continued for some time.

****

All words are Quenya.

Valanya: The last day of the Valarin week, dedicated to the Valar. The Valarin week is only six days long rather than seven.

Otornya: My (sworn) brother.