109: Visiting with Lord Námo

"Are you sure we should go in?" Sador whispered nervously as the three ellyn peered through the doorway, at the last minute hesitating to enter.

"I don’t think we have a choice now," Faramir said, swallowing around a lump in his throat and looking a bit pale.

"Come on," Glóremmir said, straightening his spine a bit more. "We can’t stand out here all day and I did want to see Lord Námo again, didn’t you?"

The other two nodded, though Sador’s nod was more hesitant than Faramir’s. The two older ellyn gave him sympathetic smiles. "It will be well, I’m sure," Glóremmir said and then he was crossing the threshold and the other two followed him perforce.

Inside they found themselves in a softly lit chamber lined with tapestries of brilliant hues depicting scenes out of Arda’s history, many of them from before the time the Eldar awoke at Cuiviénen. The ellyn gazed around in wonder as their eyes adjusted to the dim light. The hall was not large, perhaps twenty feet square. In the center of the floor was a spiral maze made of a mosaic of purple amethyst, pink tourmaline, marilla and meneluissar in a pleasing pattern that was soothing to both eye and spirit. The spiral began just where one entered the hall from the outside. There were no other doors.

"Glorfindel told me that you have to walk the spiral in order to enter the rest of the mansion," Sador said in a whisper as if afraid to disturb the silence surrounding them.

Even as he was speaking the doors closed behind them, causing them to jump, their hearts racing. In their panic they tried to open the doors but there were no knobs or handles and pounding on them did no good. Finally they stopped and Faramir gave the other two a wry look that did not quite disguise his unease. "I guess this means the only way out is in. We’re going to have to walk the spiral whether we want to or not. So... uh... who’s going first?"

No one volunteered.

They stood there indecisively, staring at the spiral, none wanting to be the first to step forward. Then all three of them gasped in shock as they heard a voice in their heads.

*I can wait forever, but you will starve to death before that.* The voice sounded amused more than anything. *Sador, you will go first, followed by Faramir and then Glóremmir. Do not be alarmed when you can no longer see one another as you travel the maze. Everyone walks the spiral alone though there be a hundred people with him.*

All three ellyn sighed as one. Glóremmir gave Sador a squeeze on the shoulder in comfort and the younger elf stepped forward. Almost as soon as he stepped upon the spiral his spirit became calmer and he felt more hopeful, smiling at nothing. He came to the first curve of the spiral and saw Faramir stepping forward and then he was totally alone. He felt a momentary sense of panic welling up and he stifled a scream as he remembered the voice’s warning. It took him a moment to bring his breathing under control and for his heart to slow.

*You’re doing fine, Sador,* the voice said encouragingly. It sounded like yet unlike Lord Námo and Sador wasn’t sure what that meant. *Keep walking.*

Sador did as he was bid. As he continued walking the spiral, he felt himself grow more and more calm, almost as if he were walking in a trance, his mind stilling until it was silent of all thought as he reached the very center. Then there was a moment of disorientation and dizziness that passed almost before Sador’s mind even registered it. He suddenly found himself elsewhere, the light somewhat brighter than before. Blinking, he looked about and saw he was in a room similar in size and shape to the one he’d just been in but there was no spiral mosaic on the floor.

"Welcome, Sador," a voice said from behind him. He turned to see a Maia in the black surcoat with the Sun-in-Eclipse emblem of the Lord of Mandos smiling at him. He looked vaguely familiar but he couldn’t quite place him. "Why don’t you come over here, child, so you aren’t in Faramir’s way when he comes through," the Maia said, gesturing to him.

Sador took a step forward, feeling confused and not really understanding what the Maia was talking about, but even as he did so, he felt a sickening wave of dizziness sweep over him and everything went black.

****

"Well, two fainted and one threw up."

Sador slowly came to, trying to make sense of what he was hearing, but he felt too weak and disoriented to make any real effort at understanding.

"Ah, I see this one is wakening."

That was a second voice, feminine in its tone. Sador opened his eyes, blinking at the light, to find himself lying on a couch, staring up at the faces of two Maiar smiling down at him.

"Welcome back," the Maia who had first greeted him said as he helped the ellon to a sitting position. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," Sador said without thinking and suddenly the other Maia was offering him a goblet. Taking it he found himself drinking cool water that refreshed him more than he expected. When he was finished he gazed about him. He was no longer in the bare room but in a small chamber. "Where am I? What’s happened to Glóremmir and Faramir?"

"They are both well," the first Maia assured him. "Like you, Glóremmir fainted and is still unconscious. Faramir was merely sick to his stomach and is now resting nearby. As soon as Glóremmir awakens we will take you to Lord Námo."

"Who are you?" Sador then asked. "You look familiar but...."

Both Maiar smiled. "I am Maranwë," the first Maia answered, "and this is Vanimeldë."

"Oh yes," Sador said, his eyes brightening in recognition. "Now I remember you."

"Are you feeling well enough to move?" Vanimeldë asked.

Sador nodded and carefully swung his legs to the floor and stood up, allowing the Maiar to help him. He still felt a bit weak in the knees but the feeling was passing and after taking a deep breath or two he decided he was steady enough.

"Faramir is in the next chamber," Maranwë said, pointing to a door. "Why don’t you go keep him company while we check on Glóremmir. He should be coming to just about now."

With a nod, Sador made his way to the door and opened it, finding himself in another small chamber. Faramir was lying on a couch similar to his own and when he saw Sador he leaped up, smiling joyfully as he gave the younger ellon a hug.

"You are well?" he asked.

"Yes," Sador responded. "And you?"

"I’ve been better," Faramir answered with a bark of laughter. "Throwing up is no fun."

"Neither is fainting," Sador retorted. "Maranwë says Glóremmir should be waking soon."

"That’s good," Faramir said. "I was really worried but the Maiar assured me you were both well."

"I wonder why everyone reacts to walking the spiral either by fainting or throwing up?" Sador asked as he and Faramir sat side-by-side on the couch.

The other ellon shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, but I think that I would be very hesitant to visit this place a second time unless I could find another way in."

Sador grinned. "Me, too."

Just then, the door opened and Glóremmir entered, looking a bit pale. He gave them a wan smile as he saw them. Maranwë and Vanimeldë followed.

"I know you have a lot of questions," Maranwë said to them, "but you must be patient. Lord Námo will explain everything. If you are ready, I will take you to him." He crossed the room to another door that the elves had not noticed before and opened it.

Sador and Faramir stood and the three ellyn followed Maranwë out while Vanimeldë brought up the rear. They traversed a long hallway, turning a corner and coming to a door that was halfway down the hall on their left. Maranwë opened it and ushered the three elves inside. He and Vanimeldë came behind them, closing the door. The elves found themselves in what appeared to be a library. Shelves of books lined the walls on either side of them while the wall facing them comprised of three arches that opened to an inner garden where a fountain sang merrily. They could see many butterflies flitting about, moving from one colorful flower to the next. The flowers’ fragrances mingled and filled the air. A colorful square rug covered the center of the wood floor where comfortable chairs were arranged around a low glass table on which sat a decanter and goblets and plates of cheese, fruit and pastries. Tapestries hung on either side of the door. It was a bright and cheerful room and the three ellyn felt themselves relaxing almost at once.

Even as they were taking in the room, there was a shimmer of light in the garden and then Lord Námo was there, smiling at them as he entered the chamber. The three ellyn gave him their obeisance and he gestured for them to sit, taking one of the chairs himself and pouring some fruit juice into the goblets. "Please help yourselves," he said to them. "Your hröar suffered somewhat from your ordeal and I imagine you are all feeling a bit faint. The juice and food should help steady you."

Sador took a tentative sip of the juice to discover it was hawthorn and sighed with contentment after taking a longer sip of the refreshing drink. Without asking, Námo refilled his goblet and Sador picked up a small strawberry-filled pastry. The other two elves were also eating and after a few minutes they all looked less pale. Námo nodded in satisfaction.

"I am glad you came to visit," he said. "Tell me your impressions of the mood on Tol Eressëa concerning the recent visit by Olwë of Alqualondë and Arafinwë of Tirion and the proposed council."

Glóremmir and Faramir exchanged glances and then Glóremmir swallowed a bit nervously before answering. "Overall, I think the visit was welcomed by most," he said, taking a bite of cheese and washing it down with the juice. "I... I was in the square when the ambush occurred."

Sador gave him a surprised look but Námo merely nodded encouragingly. Glóremmir turned to Sador with a grin. "No, I wasn’t part of the ambush, if that’s what you’re thinking. I happened to be in the square on personal business and got caught in the crossfire." He paused and gave Lord Námo a wry look. "In fact, I suddenly found myself not in Avallónë but somewhere on the plains of Ard-Galen fighting orcs that had ambushed our patrol."

Námo nodded. "You were having a flashback," he said and the ellon nodded.

"I was in the square by myself, doing some shopping," Glóremmir explained. "In fact, I was fairly close to where the attack occurred. I think that’s why I had the flashback. I was as much in danger of being hit by arrows as anyone."

"Those arrows were not being aimed at anyone in particular," Sador said. "In fact, their sole aim was simply to pin us down until Morcocáno arrived with his troops."

Glóremmir nodded. "So I gathered later. At the time, of course, all I knew was that I was part of a patrol that had been ambushed by orcs." He grimaced at the memory. "I remember that I was looking for my weapons. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have them and I started to panic even more because I could see my fellows in the patrol being killed and I couldn’t help them because I had no weapons."

"That, of course, is not what really happened," Námo said.

Glóremmir shook his head. "Of course not. In reality we routed the orcs and only suffered minor injuries. None of the patrol died."

"It seems that whenever any Reborn has such a memory there is always one element that doesn’t ring true," Námo mused. "It’s how you are able to pull out of the memory; you realize that something is not quite right but you don’t know what or why. That seed of doubt is the chink that allows the present to invade the past and bring you back."

Glóremmir shrugged. "I suppose. I only know that I was panicking more and more and then suddenly I felt someone holding me and calling my name and then I found myself back in the square and a Maia I did not know was there comforting me." He gave them a lopsided grin. "I was so confused by the... um... memory attack, I guess you can call it, for I hadn’t had one in such a long time, that I almost missed the drama between Morcocáno and Lord Eönwë. That was fun."

Sador rolled his eyes in disbelief, while Faramir snickered and Námo graced them with a slight smile. "Fun doesn’t begin to describe it," Sador said.

"Anyway," Glóremmir continued. "I think that was why Brethorn asked me to be a part of the delegation, because I had been a witness to that event."

Námo nodded. "And what of you, Faramir? What are your impressions?"

Faramir shrugged. "I live in a small farming community outside Tavrobel but I happened to be in Kortirion visiting friends when the Amaneldi came to the city, so I went to the town meeting, more out of curiosity than anything. I found the attitude of many there to be rather disturbing. It was as if they felt themselves to be better than the rest of us."

"Certainly better than the poor people of Angobel," Sador interjected.

Faramir nodded. "Yes, though to tell you the truth, I can’t say I’ve ever really thought about them. My village lies to the south of Tavrobel and we’ve not had any contact with the miners, though I have no doubt our blacksmith has purchased metal from them."

"You know, it just occurred to me," Sador said, giving the two Tol Eressëans a considering look. "Glóremmir lives in Avallónë so I can see how he might know Brethorn, but how is it that you do?"

Both ellyn smiled somewhat sheepishly. "Tol Eressëa isn’t all that large and our population is small compared to the mainland and the number of Reborn is even smaller," Glóremmir said. "Everyone sort of knows everyone else."

"Actually, what Glóremmir means is that we Reborn have been keeping an eye out for one another," Faramir added. "Brethorn and a few others created a Council of the Reborn, you might say."

Sador gave them a surprised look. "A Council of the Reborn? What’s that?"

"Just what it sounds like," Glóremmir replied. "Just as the three cities have their councils, so, too, do the Reborn. Of course, no one who isn’t a Reborn is aware of it. We’ve kept it to ourselves."

"How long has it existed and what is its purpose?" Sador asked, now looking intrigued.

"I think it came into existence about fifty years ago," Faramir answered and Glóremmir nodded in agreement.

"Brethorn and a few others decided we needed to band together," Glóremmir went on to explain, "and give one another the support that we were not finding with our family and friends who had not died and so could not really understand what we were experiencing."

"They formed a council of twelve members who meet periodically to discuss our plight and seek ways to help recent arrivals to integrate into our society," Faramir said. "Brethorn actually traveled through the island and visited every community to find all the Reborn. He made a record of each of us, our names and families and our histories. Now, whenever any Reborn joins us on the island, one of us will meet with them and tell them about the Council and the support system that has been put in place so if they have any problems they know where to look for help."

Sador pursed his lips in thought for a moment and then turned to Námo, who had been quietly listening. "Did you know about this... this Council of the Reborn, my lord?"

Námo nodded, giving them a smile that fell just short of being smug. "Who do you think inspired Brethorn to come up with the idea?"

All three ellyn raised eyebrows at that revelation. Then Sador turned to his friends. "So, are you both on this Council?"

"I am," Faramir said, "but not Glóremmir. It is as he said: Brethorn chose him because he was there in the square when Morcocáno was being stupid. As I was present in Kortirion and had heard from the Reborn in Tavrobel what had happened there, Brethorn felt that one member of our Council should accompany the delegation."

"And no one else knows that you are a member of this Council," Sador said, making it more a statement than a question.

Faramir shook his head. "No, none of them know who I really am. Oh, Dúlinn knows me, for I am often in Tavrobel on business, but he is as unaware of the existence of the Council as any of the... how did Lord Glorfindel put it... the Once-born?"

For a long moment no one spoke. Námo watched the interplay of emotions on Sador’s face as the young ellon came to terms with the new knowledge, knowledge that even his gwedyr did not have, knowledge that could be put to use.

"We need our own such council," Sador muttered.

"Or we include the Reborn living here in Aman into our web of contacts," Faramir said. "In fact, there’s been much discussion about whether we should contact you Reborn in Aman and bring you into our little conspiracy."

"Conspiracy?" Sador exclaimed in surprise. "How is it a conspiracy?"

Both Faramir and Glóremmir smiled. "Anything that the Once-born don’t know about but eventually learn is a conspiracy as far as they are concerned."

Glóremmir nodded. "I can just imagine the reaction of someone like Galadhwen when she finds out that the Reborn in her midst have their own Council which is island-wide in its influence."

"And do you truly influence events?" Sador asked.

"In some ways," Faramir said. "Mostly we simply provide a place for other Reborn to come and air their complaints. We on the Council have encouraged our fellows to meet on occasion and talk things out. We hold a meeting every six months in a different location and invite those interested to attend. They then return to their communities and pass on whatever suggestions have been put forth to help make our lot better. I think since instituting the Council the Reborn have found that they are not as alone as each one thought themselves to be, that together we are strong and with every Reborn who comes to the island we become that much stronger. Soon, I think, we will be strong enough even to reveal our existence and demand a true voice in the councils now headed by the Once-born who pretty much ignore us."

"That time may come sooner than you think," Námo said and the three ellyn gave him quizzical looks. "The Reborn have a vital role to play in the politics of the Eldar," he went on to say. "You have a unique perspective on things that the Once-born lack. Your council, in fact, could well be the model on which the rest of the Tol Eressëans will base their government. It is imperative that when the midwinter council is held that there be a strong showing of the Reborn there. When you return to Tol Eressëa you should impress upon Brethorn and the rest of the Council that the time for secrecy is past. They should plan to attend as a group."

"Is that why we’re here, lord?" Glóremmir asked. "Is that what this is all about?"

"Partly," Námo answered. "There is something else, though." He paused as if hesitant to continue but seeing the expectant looks on the ellyn’s faces, he went on. "Last year, Glorfindel was here visiting."

Sador nodded. "That’s when he was kidnapped," he said to the other two ellyn, "and Lord Oromë called a Hunt." He stopped and his eyes went bright with wonder at the memory and he suddenly had a difficult time breathing. Námo was beside him in an instant, rubbing his back.

"Take a deep breath, child. That’s it, and again. All is well."

Sador slowly came back to himself, looking sheepish. Námo merely smiled as he addressed them all. "What Sador said is correct, but before all that happened, Lord Manwë and I asked Glorfindel if he would permit us to examine him."

"Why?" Glóremmir asked.

"Glorfindel had been experiencing what we term psychic breaks," Námo explained as he resumed his seat. "His fëa was somehow slipping out of his hröa and we were at a loss to understand why. We examined Glorfindel and also Ingwion for comparison’s sake to see if we could determine what was causing this slippage. Our findings are a bit inconclusive and so we think we need to look at some other Reborn to see if Glorfindel’s make-up is unique to him or common to all Reborn."

"So you want to... er... examine us?" Sador asked, his expression one of uncertainty.

"Yes, if you will allow it."

"And if we say no?" Faramir asked.

Námo shrugged. "Then you are free to leave anytime. I will not force you. You must decide of your own free will."

"Will it hurt?" Sador then asked.

Námo’s smile was warm and genuine. "Not at all. In fact, as I told Glorfindel at the time, it will be quite boring for you and you might even fall asleep."

"How long will it take?" Glóremmir asked, glancing at the garden and gauging the light. "We promised King Arafinwë that we would be back for dinner and I think it’s nearly that now."

"You would need to stay overnight," Námo said. "I will let Arafinwë know that you are well so he does not worry."

The three ellyn glanced at one another and then Sador shrugged, turning to Námo. "I will allow it, lord, even if Faramir and Glóremmir decide otherwise."

"Well, we’re not letting you have all the glory, youngling," Glóremmir said with a laugh, "so you can count me in, lord."

"And me," Faramir chimed in.

"Thank you," Námo said with a grave sincerity that surprised the three Reborn. "Maranwë and Vanimeldë will keep you company while I make the necessary arrangements. As it truly is near the dinner hour I will have them bring you something. We will do the examination after you’ve supped. Until then...." He stood and was already fading from view before the three elves could even climb out of their chairs to give him their obeisance.

Before any of them could utter a word, the door to the library opened and Maranwë and Vanimeldë entered, bearing trays loaded with food. Námo’s chief Maia smiled benignly on them. "Would you like to have your dinner out in the garden?" he asked. "I think you will find it very pleasant there."

"Thank you, we would," Sador said, speaking for them all and in a few short minutes they were seated near the fountain digging into their meal with great appetite while Maranwë waited on them and Vanimeldë entertained them, producing a lute and singing ballads from Beleriand as she played.

****

Notes:

1. Amethyst: A purple gemstone. A symbol of protection and the power to overcome difficulty.

2. Pink Tourmaline: A symbol of hope.

3. Marilla: Pearl. A symbol of purity and innocence.

4. Meneluissar: ‘Sky-blue stone’; what we would call lapis lazuli, with the same meaning [meneluin "sky-blue" + sar "stone", with assimilation]. A symbol of truth.