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Outtakes of a Fellowship and Beyond  by Kara's Aunty

Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is owned by J.R.R. Tolkien, his family, New Line cinema, etc. Not me. I‘m only dabbling my unworthy fingers in his magical worlds.

For Golden, based on an idea by Rhapsody over on LOTR_Community_GFIC

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Took, the Terrible!

*

Pippin knew he was a mass murderer, but he didn’t care.

“Take that!” he hissed fiercely, swiping at an unsuspecting life form.

Red fluid dribbled down his fingers.

“And that!”

The blood of another innocent victim crossed his palm and he knew only delicious satisfaction as its existence abruptly ceased.

Merry watched him impassively and Pippin, taking his cousin’s inaction as full permission to continue with his deadly work, smashed into another tiny figure. It was crushed before it could so much as protest at the treatment.

The future Thain of the Shire glowered at them hatefully, wishing they would all just die, die, DIE! His revulsion at every breath they took was all-encompassing and he stabbed at another, sundering spirit from form for all eternity.

“When I’m the Thain,” he told Merry passionately, “I will lead a battalion of hobbits out here and we’ll wipe them off the face of Middle Earth!”

He wiped his bloody hands on his breeches and Merry rolled his eyes in disgust.

Pippin’s foes were beginning to take a stand against the mass extermination, incensed at the loss of their kin. They launched an all out attack on the rampaging hobbit, throwing themselves at him in wave after wave of righteous fury. But the Took pulled his sword from its sheath and began smiting them in their droves. Dozens fell, lifeless, to the ground. They would never stir again and he exulted wildly at their destruction.

“You’ll need to do much better than that!” he crowed victoriously. “You’re little match for me, but please, do continue to try. Watching your worthless forms gasp their last is a pleasure beyond measure!”

He sneered at their pathetic attempts to defeat him and, catching sight of a burning log by the feeble fire, decided to have a little more fun at their expense. Lifting the glowing stick, the Took shoved the red hot end of it amidst the frenzy of his foes and squealed with delight as their flesh melted. The stench was nauseating and he breathed of it deeply, thrilled to know that he - and he alone - had caused such devastation.

“Do you see what I can do?” he gloated at Merry, who was covering his mouth and nose to minimise the penetrating reek of roasting corpses.

“Yes,” his cousin mumbled in disgust through his fingers. “And I wish you wouldn’t.”

Pippin was dumbfounded. “What? You’re not feeling sorry for them, are you?”

Merry glared at him. “I’m feeling sorry for my nose,” came his muffled reply. “I’m weak enough with their draining every last drop of blood from me, without you adding the stink of fried flesh to the mix!”

The tweenager was livid at the lack of support and opened his mouth wide to voice a scathing retort when an enemy honed in with the accuracy of a woodland elf. Staggering, he grasped at his throat in horror as he flailed about the reeds, choking and spluttering. His agony was eternal, or so it seemed: it was a full minute before he was able to recover himself after the near deadly attack.

Finally, gasping and coughing, with fat tears leaking from his eyes, he collapsed beside his reposing cousin.

“Merry,” Pippin squeaked in shock.

“What?”

“I think I swallowed one.”

“Well, at least that will teach you to keep your mouth shut as long as we’re still in the Midgewater Marshes.”

Huffing in annoyance at the lack of sympathy from his Buckland kin, the tweenager stood up and left him to take a seat next to Frodo, where he could glower at the Brandybuck in safety. At least a Baggins could always be counted on to act with proper decorum!

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Author's Note: Please note that the blood the midges shed is Pip's - I don't mean to insinuate he bled by the gallon and I know it would take thousands of midges burning at the same time to create such a stench (as one individual pointed out elsewhere). This is just a bit of fun.

Kara's Aunty ;)





        

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