49: Homecoming

When Glorfindel turned into the road leading to the Academy, he pointed out the front window of the van. "Look, Alex," he said.

Alex, who’d been sitting in the back with Derek, staring out the side window, didn’t respond. Derek shook him slightly to get his attention. "Take a look, mate," he said, pointing, and Alex dutifully craned his neck to see around the front seats and gasped.

There, hanging in front of the second floor windows above the entrance was a large sign made from a white bedsheet with the words ‘WELCOME BACK, ALEX!’ painted across it in a rainbow of colors. He looked at Derek, who was grinning.

"Why?" he asked.

Derek gave him a puzzled look. "Why not?" he retorted. "You’re a hero."

Alex leaned back in his seat. "Why?"

"Because, in spite of everything, you finished the race," Glorfindel responded from the front as he brought the van to a stop before the building. There were people waiting to greet them and students were hanging out of windows, waving. Glorfindel turned around to face the two Mortals. "Now, I told everyone not to overwhelm you and to respect your need for quiet, so try not to panic."

"I’m not a baby," Alex sniffed disdainfully.

Glorfindel and Elrohir grinned as they opened their doors and stepped out. Derek slid open the side door and jumped out, turning to give Alex a hand. At his appearance, those waiting for them immediately began applauding, calling out to Alex in greeting.

"Easy now," Derek said as Alex flinched at the sound. "Feeling okay?"

Alex nodded, reaching up to push the knit hat more firmly on his head, looking somewhat embarrassed. "There’s nothing to be ashamed of, child," Elrohir said gently, taking Alex’s elbow. "Consider it a badge of honor."

Alex said nothing, just allowed himself to be led up the steps where the other Elves and some of the Mortal instructors were there to greet them. Amroth was the only one to actually approach Alex, wrapping his arms around him.

"I bet you’re glad to be out of the hospital, aren’t you, son?" he said softly in Alex’s ear as he gave him a squeeze.

"Yes," Alex said, but did not elaborate.

Amroth stepped back, giving him a searching look. "Still feeling tired?" he asked.

"A little," Alex admitted.

"Then, we’ll get you to your room and you can lie down for a while. Grace and the kitchen staff have put together a special dinner for you, so you want to be wide awake to appreciate it."

Alex nodded and the group parted to allow him and Amroth to enter the building with Derek, Glorfindel and Elrohir right behind them. Going up the stairs was slow work, for Alex had to stop a number of times to catch his breath. No one hurried him and he was grateful for that. Students lined the halls and the stairwell, giving him smiles and thumbs-up and soft greetings. He simply nodded to them, concentrating on making it to the third floor. When they finally reached his room, his knees were rubbery and he was gasping for breath. Elrohir and Amroth deftly got him out of his clothes and between the sheets. Amroth started to remove Alex’s hat, but Alex grabbed it and held it in place and Amroth did not argue, merely giving him a sympathetic smile. Derek got him some water, which he drank avidly before sinking down into his pillow.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" Amroth asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting one of Alex’s arms, offering him some comfort.

"For everything," Alex replied and then slipped into sleep between one breath and the next.

Amroth continued sitting on the bed watching Alex sleep, a somewhat troubled look on his face. Derek nodded at him. "I’ll keep an eye on him," he said.

Elrohir handed him a piece of paper. "Call this number if you need to," he said. "Someone will come."

Derek nodded his thanks and then everyone trooped out, leaving the two Mortals to themselves.

****

Derek roused Alex about a half hour before dinner, helping him to the bathroom so he could take a shower. Alex was subdued, speaking in monotones. When they reached the cafeteria, though, he gasped in surprise. The ‘Welcome Back’ banner was now hanging across the windows and there were balloons and streamers everywhere. Most of the students were already there and started applauding as Derek led Alex to their table. Nathan, Carla, Shafali and Leanne were there to greet them, the women giving Alex shy kisses while Nathan shook his hand.

Derek told him to sit while he went and got his dinner and in a matter of minutes he was back with a tray, setting it down before him. "I’ll be right back," he said and, true to his word, he returned almost immediately with another tray, obviously for himself. As he sat, Nathan and the women left to get their own dinners. Alex looked around and frowned.

"Where are they?" he asked.

"You mean Loren and the others?" Derek responded, divining what Alex meant. When Alex nodded, he shrugged. "I think they’ve decided this would just be a... ah... Mortal affair. Do you want to see them? I can call them." He started to fish out his cell phone but Alex shook his head and picked up his fork, digging into his salad.

Nathan and the three women returned and they all concentrated on eating, though Alex didn’t eat all that much. Derek leaned over and whispered rather loudly, "If you don’t eat all your veggies up, there’s no dessert."

Alex gave him a disbelieving look while the three women giggled and Nathan grinned, but he dutifully ate some more, though he resolutely put his fork down after only a few more bites. Derek didn’t press him, for which he was grateful. He reached up to touch his hat, as if to make sure it was still there. It was an unconscious gesture, something he’d done all through dinner. If the others noticed, they did not comment. Derek and the others cleared the table and brought over some tea for Alex, for he was not allowed coffee for a few more days. All around them, others were also clearing their tables of trays and then returning to sit and there was an air of excitement that Alex couldn’t help noticing and he looked about in puzzlement, wondering what was happening.

He didn’t have to wait long. Suddenly the lights dimmed and then from out of the kitchen Grace wheeled in a large sheet cake with a single large candle that was lit and people spontaneously began singing ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow’ as she brought the cake to where Alex was sitting.

"Make a wish and blow it out," Derek said as the song ended.

"It’s not my birthday," Alex retorted.

"So what? We’re celebrating it early or late. Who cares? Now are you going to blow out the candle or do we just sit here and watch it burn down and ruin the cake?" There was much chuckling throughout the cafeteria at that.

Alex sighed then leaned over and blew out the candle to much applause and the lights came back up as Grace handed him a large knife so he could make the first cut. A couple of kitchen helpers came out with a number of other trolleys filled with cake, as well as one with a couple of large tubs of vanilla ice cream and in a short while everyone was happily indulging themselves with dessert.

"Roy says you shouldn’t plan to stay up too late," Derek told Alex as they were sitting there sipping on tea or coffee.

"I’m not feeling too sleepy yet," Alex said. "It’s not even seven."

"Well, would you like to go downstairs to the game room and play something or maybe just sit in the lounge and watch TV?" Derek suggested.

"Can we take a walk outside?" Alex asked. "I’m beginning to feel closed in for some reason. We don’t need to be out long, just long enough."

Derek gave him a dubious look but nodded. "I suppose we can do that if you bundle up. We could just go out to the quad and walk the perimeter."

"I guess that would do," Alex said with a sigh, sounding dispirited.

"Hey, how about a moonlit drive, instead?" Nathan suggested. "We’ll drive out of town and stop and look at the stars. There might even be a lightshow. They’ve been saying on the news that the increasing sunspot activity would probably mean a lot of northern lights this time of year."

Alex nodded, perking up at the idea and Derek was glad to see a spark of interest in his friend’s eyes. "That sounds like a plan," he said. "Can we all fit in the car?"

"Sure," Nathan said. "I have a van. I’ll meet you all outside, okay?"

Everyone nodded and they all got up to leave. Derek and Alex went back to their room where Derek helped Alex into his coat, finding him gloves and a scarf and then they went downstairs where Carla and Shafali were waiting for them. "Leanne’s decided not to go," Carla told them, "so it’s just us."

Just then, a van pulled up and they went outside and got in and then they were off. Nathan drove out of the campus and skirted the town, taking one of the side roads that led away from the town center, heading for the bypass to the main highway. He drove for about twenty minutes until the lights of the town were hidden and then pulled over and everyone got out. Derek helped Alex out and kept a hold on him to give him better balance for the ground was rocky and uneven. They all stepped away from the van and looked up into the night sky, looking more or less across the southern sky.

"I’ve never seen so many stars before," Shafali whispered and the others nodded, not bothering to comment.

Alex gazed up into the heavens and thought of his conversation with Daeron about Dante. "The Love that moves the sun and other stars," he muttered to himself.

"Hey, look!" Carla exclaimed, pointing north.

They all turned and gasped in concert as curtains of green and purple shimmered silently across the northern sky. They stood there mesmerized. Alex felt a sense of awe rising within him that he’d never felt before and he began to shiver at the beauty of the sight. Derek misinterpreting his reaction, drew him into a hug.

"You’re shivering. We’d better get you back to the college. If you come down with a cold or something, Loren will have our heads."

Alex suddenly felt too weary to argue and soon they were back in the van. Nathan made a U-turn and a half an hour later, they were back in their rooms. Alex settled into bed and was asleep five minutes later dreaming of the Northern Lights. Derek turned off the overhead light and, as it was too early for him to go to bed, he sat at his desk reading with just the desk lamp on so as not to disturb Alex. At one point he looked over at his sleeping roommate and saw that he was smiling in his sleep and was glad.

****

Monday morning, Alex followed Derek into their Sindarin class and went to his seat without greeting Gilvegil, who gave Derek a concerned look. The former sailor spoke to him quietly. "He’s very subdued and remote. He’ll respond to you if you speak to him directly, but otherwise, he just stays quiet, not like before. I’m worried for him."

"He had a very traumatic experience," Gilvegil said. "It may take a little time for him to feel safe enough to be easy around people again. He’s not doing archery today, is he?"

Derek shook his head. "I think I’ll have Ron visit with him," the Elf suggested. He then went to speak with Alex, giving him a sympathetic smile. "How are you holding up? Are you in any pain?"

Alex shook his head, reaching up to touch his hat, as if to assure himself that it was still there. He only took it off to take a shower, and refused to look in the mirror unless he was wearing it. "No. I’m okay," he answered, not quite looking at the Elf.

Gilvegil put a finger under Alex’s chin and lifted it, forcing the Mortal to look at him. "No, child. You are not, but you will be. You won’t be doing archery today, so I think while Derek is in class, I’ll have Ron keep you company."

Alex just nodded, looking resigned, and Gilvegil let him go, returning to the front of the room to begin the class. During the lesson he noticed Alex’s attention drifting but did not call on him, letting him be. He did not miss the look of relief on Alex’s face when the class ended and sorrowed at the young Man’s disinterest when before he’d been very attentive. While the students went down to the lounge to get some tea or coffee before the next class, he walked over to where the Wilderness Survival class met and spoke briefly with Vorondur, alerting him to Alex’s condition. When Alex and Derek entered the classroom some few minutes later, Vorondur greeted them.

"After lunch, if you’re feeling up to it, why don’t you meet me in the reading room and we’ll talk," he said to Alex.

"About what?"

"About anything you want to say."

"What if I don’t say anything?"

"Then, I’ll probably fall asleep from the absolute quiet and get in a nice little nap," Vorondur replied with a smile.

"And while he’s snoring away, you can sneak out," Derek said, giving Alex a grin.

Alex smiled slightly in return and the two went to find their seats. At one point during the class, Alex found he needed to put his head down, feeling all washed out. Derek simply reached over and patted him on the back, as if to assure him that it was all right, so he drifted in a semi-conscious state, half-listening to the lecture but not really hearing it. Only when there was a shifting of bodies and people talking did he rouse enough to find that the class was over with. Vorondur came to where he was sitting and took the seat next to him, giving him a frown.

"I think you should go lie down after lunch," he ordered.

"What about our talk?" Alex asked.

"We can talk later," Vorondur said.

"I don’t want to be alone," Alex muttered, looking a bit embarrassed, checking to see if his hat was still covering his head.

"I can skip archery and keep you company," Derek suggested.

"I don’t need a baby-sitter," Alex groused, contradicting himself. "I just...."

"Why don’t you come over to Edhellond instead?" Vorondur said. "I’ll pick you up after lunch. You can take a nap there and then we’ll talk if you want and I’ll bring you back in time for dinner."

Alex nodded and Vorondur let them go. He sat there for a time in the empty lecture room, then fished out his cell phone, speed-dialing a number and spoke briefly to the person on the other end before heading out.

****

Alex climbed out of Vorondur’s car and stared at the edifice before him, almost as if he’d never seen it before. The front door opened and Amroth stepped out and greeted him, ushering him inside and helping him with his coat.

"Come into the library," he said.

"I thought I was taking a nap," Alex retorted, though he dutifully followed the Elf with Vorondur trailing them.

"I thought you might be more comfortable in here," Amroth explained and when they entered the library, Alex could see that the sofa had been moved in front of the fireplace where a fire was blazing. It was covered with a warm-looking quilt and a couple of pillows. "Now, why don’t you take off your shoes and lie down," Amroth continued. "No one will disturb you. Ron is going to remain in the room with you so you won’t be alone."

"I have some paperwork to do," Vorondur explained, "so I’ll be over here at the desk. If you need anything, just call out."

Alex didn’t protest and, stretched out on the sofa, wrapped in the quilt, he was asleep in a matter of minutes. Amroth remained for a time, watching him, while Vorondur went to the desk to work. After a while, Amroth sighed and, giving Vorondur a nod, left.

Alex slept for nearly two hours, waking somewhat disoriented, not sure where he was at first. Vorondur heard him and was beside him before he opened his eyes. "Have a nice nap?" he asked solicitously. Alex nodded as he rose and stretched. "Why don’t you go throw some water on your face and I’ll make us some tea. Are you hungry?"

Alex shook his head as he headed out of the library. When he returned, Vorondur had the tea set out with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. The sofa had been returned to its original place and the chairs that normally stood before the fireplace were returned and the two sat, quietly sipping the peppermint tea and munching on the cookies. When Alex had unconsciously reached up to touch his hat for the third time, Vorondur leaned over and pulled his arm down.

"There’s no need to do that, son," he said gently. "Nor is there any reason for you to feel shame. Your hair will grow back."

"Who am I?" Alex asked suddenly, staring at the fire.

"Who do you want to be?" Vorondur retorted.

"I don’t know," came the reply, spoken barely above a whisper. "That sign... they all think I’m Alex, but Alex isn’t real, never has been."

"What about Artemus?" Vorondur asked softly. "Is he real?"

Alex shrugged "I hope not. I don’t like Artemus too much anymore. He’s... not nice. He... he kills people."

"Who is Junior?"

Alex flinched and then he was shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. "He... he was my friend... b-but I had to... I had to...."

Vorondur stood and pulled the young Man into his embrace as he wept, rubbing Alex’s back in comfort.

"I d-don’t want to b-be Artemus anymore," Alex stuttered between tears. "Please... help me."

Vorondur held him closer. "You can never escape being Artemus," he said gently. "You must learn to accept that part of you, but there’s no reason why you can’t continue being Alex, if that’s what you want."

"They’ll never let me go," Alex said with a sigh as he pulled himself out of the Elf’s embrace. "Artemus is too valuable to them to let him go without a fight."

Vorondur nodded. "True, but if you are sure you want to leave all that behind, we’ll find a way, but do not think that by leaving the Agency you will automatically leave Artemus behind. It doesn’t work that way, son, and you must accept that Artemus will always be a part of you. He has skills and knowledge that are essential and should not be dismissed. Alex is a personable young man, but he’s somewhat shallow. You need Artemus to bring depth to your Alex-character, making him special and unique and not just a two-dimensional construct. Do you understand? You need to integrate the two personalities until they are one and whole. Only then will you be able to be who you want to be, whatever name you give yourself."

"How do I start?" Alex asked.

"It’s always good to start at the beginning," Vorondur replied with a smile. He gestured for Alex to take a seat even as he returned to his own.

Alex nodded, reaching over to pick up his teacup and taking a couple of sips before putting it down. "I think I should start by telling you about Junior," he said, staring into the fire. Vorondur sat back and gave him his full attention as Alex told him about his friend.