Chapter 24: One Eye on the Mirror as You Watched Yourself Go By

After tea, the two lads headed down the corridor to Chop's room-it was the same room in his parents' quarters where their cousin had slept when he was growing up until his antics had finally caused his grandfather to send him off to Whitwell.

"Do you suppose he'll be there?" asked Bilbo. "He might be off with his intended this afternoon!"

Siggy shook his head. "I had it from Porro that both his sisters would be at a tea party just for the lasses to honour the bride one last time."

"Good! Then maybe he will be home after all."

In fact he was, and it was Adalgrim himself who answered the door. His father was there, and Bilbo and Siggy greeted their Uncle Hildigrim who sat in the parlour reading and smoking; Aunt Rosa was gone-she too was at the party in honour of the bride.

"Come on back to my room then, you two," said Adalgrim. They followed him in and he sprawled in his armchair by the hearth, while Siggy and Bilbo flopped on the rug.

"Are your bones too old to sit on the floor anymore, Ch-Adalgrim?" Siggy laughed.

Adalgrim winced and sighed. "It's hard to get used to a new name," he said. "And, no, I'm not too old. But I'll be meeting Periwinkle at supper, and I certainly don't wish to be all dusty and wrinkled from sitting on the floor!"

"Why do you let her tell you what name you'll be called?" asked Bilbo. Perhaps because he asked the question from simple curiosity and without any hint of resentment, his older cousin didn't snap at him, but looked thoughtful.

"I know I've written to you a little about Periwinkle, and how we met. But I don't think you know the whole story, do you?"

Bilbo and Siggy shook their heads, surprised at his serious tone.

"I know that you met after Grandfather sent you to Whitwell," said Siggy.

"And that you, er, fell in love with her during the Fell Winter," Bilbo added.

Adalgrim chuckled. "Yes, I did fall in love with her during the Fell Winter. But it took longer for her to fall in love with me." He stared at his cousins silently for a while, and Bilbo was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable at his regard, when he spoke again. "Both of you are so much younger that I didn't think you'd understand, but I think now that you are old enough to hear the story-and you've both been my friends for so long, I think you deserve to know why the 'Chop' you grew up with has tried so hard to change.

"The Goldworthy family were the caretakers for the farm for many years before Grandfather sent me here. They didn't live in the farmhouse-in fact they had their own smaller farm that was adjacent to Whitwell, and they tended both farms. I know you've met Periwinkle's younger sibs, Porro and Pomona, but she also has two older brothers-Pando and Picco, who help their father with both farms. They haven't arrived here yet. They'll be here the day before, because they've stayed behind to run things until then. Both of them are already wed, and Pando already has children.

"I was wise enough to know that I did not have any idea of what it took to run a farm. I'd done my share of helping at planting and harvest, like any other hobbit lad. But the daily tasks needed to get by were beyond my ken. Farmer Goldworthy knew that Grandfather would count on him to help me, and to teach me what I needed to know.

"Without him I would have been lost, for you know what happened that first year..."

His voice trailed off, and the three cousins shuddered briefly, in memory of that Fell Winter.

"I fell ill shortly before Yule. I was dreadfully sick...well, you know how it was. Mrs. Goldworthy and Periwinkle came to me, and the two of them nursed me through the worst of it. When I would wake up to see her kind brown eyes and her worried smile as she would try to reassure me-well, it didn't take long for me to fall for her.

"But when I got well, and tried to pursue a courtship with her, she told me 'It's just gratitude, Mr. Adalgrim. I don't think you are really in love with me.' She shook her head at my protests, and she told me she didn't think I was serious enough to fall in love!

"I'd never had a lass turn me down before!" Adalgrim's expression as he said this was still rueful and surprised. He was quite handsome, with the Tookish green eyes and chestnut hair, and he was endowed with not a small amount of native charm. Add to that his position as a grandson of the Old Took, and he'd had a bevy of lasses to admire (and even pursue) him ever since he entered his tweens. To have the one lass he found interesting turn him down must have been a shock.

Bilbo and Siggy exchanged a look, rolling their eyes, and then they both burst out laughing. "Poor old Chop!" Siggy exclaimed. "You set your sights on the one lass in the Shire who wouldn't return your interest!"

Adalgrim gave them a put-upon look. "Do you want to hear the story, or not?" They nodded.

"I got well, and things were pretty busy as we tried to keep things going while the winter went on-and then there was the news of Grandmother, and I managed to make my way to the Great Smials after I received the word. And then the wolves came..." He shuddered, and Bilbo and Siggy nodded sympathetically. Both of them remembered those days all too well.

"So I went off with the muster, and you know how that went, and when I finally got back, it was to discover that now Periwinkle was ill! At first, her family did not want me to help with nursing her, but then both Porro and Pomona fell sick as well. So I was able to help care for her, and her sister and brother as well. It was not easy, but we got through it, and everyone recovered."

"After that, Periwinkle decided that I might really be serious about her, but she wasn't sure I was serious enough to be a husband. It's taken a long time to convince her that I'm no longer the scamp and scapegrace that Grandfather sent away so I wouldn't be a bad example to the likes of you two!" He gave a laugh when he said this last, and suddenly flung a cushion from his chair at the two.

There ensued a brief scuffle with pillows and cushions, but they stopped, breathless and laughing after only a couple of minutes.

"Now look what you've done, lads! I'm all wrinkled!" He stood up to check himself in the full-length mirror in the corner of his room. "I'll have to change my shirt!"

Bilbo and Siggy exchanged a knowing look; Chop was fun and full of ideas, and he was a loyal friend, but he also had always been very vain about his appearance. They watched as he pulled out and discarded at least three shirts from his wardrobe before he found one that he thought would be right, and after shrugging into it, took his time deciding which studs he wanted to wear with it. Then he considered and changed his mind about changing his braces. Once he was all tucked in he pulled out two different waistcoats and held them side by side as he looked in the mirror. He looked at them briefly. "Do you think-no, never mind, I can see you are laughing at me!"

His cousins had not even snickered, but it was clear from their red faces and puffed out cheeks that they were trying to hold in their laughter. This wasn't the first time they'd watched him behaving this way. "The green and gold one, I think."

Once he was into his waistcoat, he went to his dresser and took up his brushes. Head first, he brushed his hair carefully. Then he took up his footbrush, paying special attention to the thick hair nearest his toes. He put the brushes back and picked up a small silver jar, opened it and dipped a finger in. Then he rubbed the pomade through his fingers, and then through his curls on both head and feet. He looked in the mirror again, and using one finger, he reached up and drew one curl around it and down over his forehead. He smirked at his reflection, and took his jacket off the stand on which it hung. Shrugging it on, he tugged at it until it hung just right. Then he turned this way and that as he looked in the mirror.

"You are a dandy, don't you know?" grinned Bilbo.

"He's worse than a lass," added Siggy.

"You'll understand when you're older, lads," he said. Then he laughed. "I am a dandy, I know that! But what can I do-I have to maintain the image, you know!" Adalgrim had the sense to recognise his vanity and to laugh at himself-but it did not stop him from preening.

He looked at the clock which hung on the wall by his door. It had been a coming-of-age gift from his grandparents-there was a little wooden bird that came out and sang on the hour. "Oh thunder!" he swore. "I promised to meet Periwinkle after the party, so we'd have time together for supper. You don't mind seeing yourselves out, do you, cousins?"

"No, no," Bilbo waved his hand airily. "Just be off with you; desert us for your lass!"

"After all," added Siggy, "come this Sterday you'll get to see her every day for the rest of your life."

"I knew you'd understand," he laughed, and he darted out the door.

Bilbo and Siggy looked at each other. "He's as full of himself as he ever was," said Bilbo.

"He definitely needs taking down a peg," added Siggy.

"I think I have an idea." Bilbo got up and went over to the dresser and picked up the jar of pomade and the hair brush. "What if..."

Siggy looked at Bilbo with admiration. "Now that is a prank worthy of our cousin, if ever one was!"

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*Author's Note: You may recognize the title of this story as a song lyric. In case you do not, it comes from Carly Simon's classic hit "You're So Vain".