Chapter 10:  back at the present

Legolas was ripped from his memories when the door to the sitting room closed with a thud. Irritated he looked around and noticed that his father had left the room.

He looked at his older brother. “Adar left to compose a letter to express his condolences,” Galadhion explained, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Legolas only nodded. Someday in the near future they would have to travel to Imladris to give their personal regards. He did not look forward to that day. He knew how little meaning the words would hold for the grieving family members. The words of sympathy were more of a burden than a relief.

Again his own painful memories came unbidden to his mind. Back then he had been much too young to understand what was going on around him. Between one day and the next his comfortable and predictable world had vanished. Even worse, it had changed into a world of sorrow and grief. For a long time afterward laughter and joy were absent within the palace and all elves treated their king carefully either out of respect or from fear that they would cross a line.

Back then he could not understand why his beloved Ada had looked at him with different eyes. From the day he had been returned to his home he had never been allowed to stray far from the palace or out of his father’s sight. A caretaker had always been around him.

His sleep had been haunted by nightmares. Again and again he saw the orcs attacking his mother and afterwards he experienced the utter fear of being lost in the dark forest. His Ada had come to comfort him almost every night until his cries had finally subsided to mere sobs and he had succumbed to utter exhaustion.

Today he still felt guilty because he knew that his father had driven himself unrelentingly, nearly destroying himself in caring for a child who could not understand why his beloved mother was no longer there.

When the night terrors had finally lessened Legolas had shifted into another stage of grieving. For weeks on end he had become cantankerous, annoying and noncompliant. Everyone around him had been kind and understanding until finally a day had come when his father could take no more.

From the day’s beginning Legolas had kept throwing one tantrum after the other, refusing to eat or even heed the simplest of advice. He had not only brought his nurse to tears but also the cook, and even Thalan had been at a loss about how to placate the upset child.

At the midday meal he had refused to eat anything cook offered him and had even purposefully tipped over a bowl of soup. In the afternoon he had hidden in a storeroom, well aware of the frantic attempts to find him and only laughing at his father’s herald who had finally looked at the right place and found him.

When he had been brought to Thranduil´s rooms and asked about why he had exhibited such bad behaviour he had glared at his father and advised him to look after his own business.

Raising his hand Thranduil had slapped him. For long moments both elves had looked at one another in utter shock until Legolas sprang to his feet and raced out of the room his hand pressed over the red patch on his cheek.

He had run to his rooms and cried himself to sleep. Later his older brother Saeron had come to take him to dinner. Neither Saeron nor Galadhion commented on the earlier incident. At dinner Legolas had looked questioningly at the empty chair where his father usually sat. After asking Thalan where his father was the advisor had only said that the King did not feel well enough to attend.

Legolas did not understand the statement but he was not allowed to see his father for two full days. This didn’t really improve his behaviour because as young as he was he was acting on his unspoken fear that his father would give in to grief and succumb to fading.

Two days later Thranduil had reappeared in public as well in his personal life and neither of them had ever commented on the incident, but since that time Legolas had shared a different relationship with his father.

He thought if he was asked today, he would have to say that their relationship was better then ever before. The frightful experience and his fears for his only remaining parent, the foundation of his short life, had pushed the youth to grow mentally strong. He had quickly learned that even his strong father had his limits and that he would do well to heed them.

Over the next few years life had returned to normal, at least for the population of Mirkwood. The elves still missed their beloved Queen keenly, yet as it always was with the routines of daily life, everyone became used to her absence.

Thranduil had also learned to live with the hole in his soul and had never allowed anyone, not even his sons, to have a look into his inner self. He was functioning well, almost as good as before, and he would never again let his feelings rule his mind.

The loss of his wife and his change in manner afterward had brought Thranduil the dubious reputation of being a stern, unyielding, greedy and unreasonable ruler.

Legolas smiled sadly at this. His father was anything but stern and none of the other attributes fit either, yet the King didn’t do much to change his image. Fortunately as the years came and went the three brothers and their father had grown closer together, forming a sturdy and well functioning unit.

They still missed their mother greatly and sometimes the feelings became overwhelming, yet they had learned to live with the emptiness.

Legolas shook his head. It had not always been and still was not easy to be the son of a King, especially the son of Thranduil. But he wouldn’t trade places with anyone else for anything in the world, he thought.

These days they managed their lives perfectly. Maybe their experience would allow them to offer some advice to a newly grieving family which was now standing at the beginning of a long and painful future.

The end