A/N: I´m sorry for the long delay.....

Chapter 6:  a troubled homecoming

Elladan let out a breath when they crossed the invisible border protecting Imladris. The valley appeared before them and they begun descending down the steep pathway to the river Bruinen.

His brother had not once slowed down or taken a break. After his third attempt to speak with Elrohir, Elladan had not tried again. This time Elrohir was truly angry. Elladan lowered his head not choosing his route. His horse knew the way home well.

The disturbing feelings coming from his father, which had intensified the nearer they had come, were bad enough; but the rejection from his brother unsettled him even more. Had he now crossed a line Elrohir was unwilling to reverse?

Elladan shook his head absently. They were here to look after their Ada. He would speak with Elrohir later when emotions were not this high.

They had reached the courtyard and Elladan was pulled from his thoughts when his mare whinnied loudly. Absentmindedly he patted the proud neck and dismounted, looking around him. No stable hand was there to take their horses; no elf was greeting their arrival. Elladan frowned.

He looked at Elrohir but the expression on his brother’s face was blank. He had tilted his head to the side as if he was listening to something. Elladan pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Come,” Elrohir suddenly said and Elladan was glad that for the first time his brother’s voice had not sounded harsh. After releasing their horses into a paddock, Elladan followed his brother into the house.

………………………………………………

They entered, crossed the great entrance hall and climbed the many steps of the wide curving staircase up to the first floor. Elladan followed his brother, sure that they would find their father in his own rooms and not in the infirmary.

Elladan´s heart begun to pound faster the nearer they came to their father’s suite of rooms. He had never considered that his father would willingly give up his life and that he would choose to fade. This was so unheard of, so unbelievable for him, that he dreaded the moment he would learn the truth. While the emotions coming through their bond confirmed his worst fears, he needed the reassurance only his eyes could give him.

When Elrohir had rounded the last corner and stopped abruptly Elladan nearly bumped into his brother. Irritated he stepped around his frozen twin to look at what had caused the sudden halt.

However, he also stood still when he saw Glorfindel just emerging from his father’s bedroom. The warrior looked at them with an expression that Elladan could not place.

Elrohir was staring back at their mentor his emotions suddenly blocked from him. Elladan narrowed his eyes when Glorfindel turned slightly back, blocking the door. What was the meaning of this?

Elladan was just about to stride forward determinedly and demand entrance when his brother’s words at their campsite in the woods came back to him.

'We are to blame for father’s condition.'

Elladan swallowed hard and looked again at the warrior still standing before the door. It was not possible to judge their mentor’s expression. For a short moment, Elladan wanted to find out if Glorfindel would really fight them when they demanded entrance to their father’s bedroom. Quickly he discarded this thought as foolish.

Suddenly he felt unsure about how to proceed at all. What a weird situation. Their father was hovering on death's doorstep and both he and his brother dreaded the one thing that could possibly reverse his condition.

Suddenly Elrohir stepped forward looking at the warrior with a taut expression on his face. Elladan followed his twin closely.

“Glorfindel what happened? Why are you denying us entrance?” he asked his voice nearly breaking. Elladan swallowed when he looked at the cold eyes looking back at them.

“I deny you nothing, Elrondion,” Glorfindel replied and his voice was as cold as his glare. “You should only consider what benefit the visit of you two would have for your father.”

Elladan narrowed his eyes while Elrohir swallowed. If their father was really fading then their presence might be the only means to bring him back at all. Yet hadn't their rejecting behaviour caused this devastation?

No longer willing to speculate and waste more time Elladan was about to circle around his brother and confront Glorfindel. However he had not taken a step before Elrohir whirled around and shoved him back toward the opposite corridor wall with a mighty push. Before Elladan could recover, Elrohir had stepped in front of his stunned twin and circled his hand around his brother’s neck.

“Stop acting stupidly. We are here to help father and not continue what we have done for too long. Glorfindel is right. It’s our fault that father sees no other option then to fade. I’m deeply ashamed about our behaviour, even if it was mostly you pushing him back. But I’m to blame also because I did nothing against it. Now support me and try to give father a reason to go on living, or go away and leave my sight.”

Without another word, Elrohir turned. Not looking at his brother again the younger twin strode toward Glorfindel and their father’s bedroom door not slowing down. When he had reached the door Glorfindel stepped aside and let the younger twin pass without any outward reaction to the previous actions.

Elladan stood immobile against the wall, shocked at his brother’s words. Absentmindedly he massaged the already-blooming bruise on his throat.

Once again his first impulse was anger, but it quickly vanished into thin air. He shook his head. Elrohir was right, it was their … no, it was his fault that their father had finally succumbed to his grief. Swallowing nervously Elladan looked at Glorfindel. For the first time he was afraid to face his father’s advisor.

Yet his character couldn't change from one moment to the next. Hiding his true feelings behind a façade of indifference, Elladan strode toward the still open bedroom door ready to demand entry or to force his way in if necessary.

Glorfindel didn’t move. He didn't block him, but he also didn't move away from the doorway. It was a clear warning that Elladan did not mistake. With a last glare, Elladan hurried past the warrior and closed the door behind him.

Glorfindel kept his position as a sentinel. He was unwilling to let the brothers bring any more sorrow to his Lord’s wounded soul, yet also knew that his sons might be the only chance of the Elf-lord’s survival.

…………………………………………

Inside the room Elladan blinked to focus. The heavy curtains were drawn, shutting out the sunlight. The room was filled with the fragrance of burnt athelas. The normally soothing herb was unable to calm his agitated thoughts.

Elladan´s heart constricted painfully when he stepped closer to the large bed. His father lay on his back, his eyes closed and his breathing so shallow that he had to look intently to see the rise of his chest at all.

The Elf-lord’s face was pale and he seemed unusually aged. Elladan allowed his gaze to focus on his father's hand, but the ring of power was hidden from sight as was normal during times when its powers were not called upon.

The older twin briefly wondered what would happen to the ring should his father fade. Would it lose its power and become visible, appearing as any normal piece of jewellery?

However what shocked Elladan the most was seeing the crouched figure of his brother kneeling before the bed, leaning near their father's body. Elrohir´s face was pressed into the coverlet and only now did Elladan recognize that sobs were shaking his brother’s frame.

Again he had been so absorbed in his own misery that he had failed to notice how others –how the other half of his soul – fared. That was exactly his problem of late, he admitted to himself. He was no longer capable of seeing beyond his own grief, anger and his wish for revenge.

He resolved that this had to change and he had to make the first step. Taking a deep breath Elladan stepped next to his brother and knelt down in the same position. Tentatively he reached out his hand and grasped his brother’s cold fingers resting on the coverlet seemingly forlorn, placing his other hand over his father’s heart.

Taking another deep breath Elladan opened his bond fully, allowing his brother to see – really see – into his soul. It was something he had not done in a long time.

He held nothing back; from the moment his world crumbled when their mother had been snatched from their grasp, to her return as nothing more than an empty shell. He let Elrohir experience why he had been so angry at himself, at others and at the world at large. He explained without words why he would never be able to forgive himself although forgiveness was not required. He also reviewed why he felt himself to be a failure and why he felt he would never be the elf he was before their mother decided to leave them.

After releasing all of his sorrow and reasoning, Elladan slumped down on his haunches totally spent. The emotional outpouring had not been what flattened his soul. No, it was the total lack of response from his brother. Elrohir had stopped sobbing but he had neither looked up nor even acknowledged that Elladan was in the room.

Slowly Elladan rose and carefully loosened the connection with his father he had unconsciously established. Accepting the new rejection he walked toward the doorway and stepped into the corridor.

Glorfindel was still standing there and looked at him with a blank expression. There was no comfort to be found here either, Elladan realized.

Without another word or look, he turned and walked down the corridor. His mind was as empty as his heart and now he no longer cared. He had already lost his brother and he would now lose his father in a few days. What meaning did life hold for him anymore?

……………………………………..

Elrohir blinked when his mind returned to the present. For more than an hour he had tried to reach his father’s fea, yet the Elf-lord had totally severed his connection with the world of the living.

With a weary sigh Elrohir fall back on his heels. He had no strength left. The long years of grieving and mindless hunting had depleted his reserves to a frightening level. His father’s condition was a clear statement how weak his perceptions had become. He had always been the one who had been careful about how to treat others, ever mindful of their emotions.

Now it was too late. He had let this happen. He was as guilty as his brother at his father's health, and the worst of it was that he could sympathize with the Elf lord’s decision. Many times lately, he had entertained similar thoughts; to simply lower his sword in the middle of a battle and let the next orc kill him, or to just not struggle on and continue to experience the pain and emptiness in his heart.

Every time he had not given in to his despair because of his awareness of how his death would affect those left behind. He wondered, had his father ever had similar thoughts? Surprised, he realized that he felt angry. He was angry that his father was choosing the easy way out. He had personally struggled day by day to protect those around him and suffered silently – but his father had relinquished his hold on the world of the living because he could no longer bear it. What about him? What about his feelings? Were they unimportant to his father and his brother?

Without thought he had walked out of the room and was now standing face to face with a worried looking Glorfindel. He was too tired to react in any way.

“You should look after your brother,” the warrior stated in a low voice. The only thing Elrohir could do was laugh – first silently but then louder, edging near hysteria.

“Why should I look after Elladan, Glorfindel, eh? Is something wrong? Do you know what? I do not care!”

Without reacting to the shock in his mentor´s eyes Elrohir turned and fled down the corridor. He had to get out of the house, away from demanding eyes and away from everything.

To be continued………………………