Chapter 4 - Renewal in a Shire Spring

Celeborn began noticing a quiet shift in atmosphere as they rode through Hobbiton. A party of Elves entering the village was cause enough for comment at in any event, but when it was a party containing a Lord and Lady of Lothlorien and five formidable Elven archers, who did not appear to be on their way to the Grey Havens, it was remarkable indeed. The stares were friendly in intent and a few even managed to share a pleasant nod and smile with the passing Elves, before resuming tasks and businesses that had been abruptly halted at the appearance of the Elven retinue. Celeborn called a halt near the green by the newly rebuilt Green Dragon and swung off his horse gracefully, lightly landing upon the spring grass.

"What do you mean to do, my Lord?" Galadriel inquired curious at his intent.

"Why I mean to ask directions to Bag End, of course!" The Lothlorien Lord replied lightly. He felt alive, breathing in the Shire's cool spring air. He almost felt young again. 

Galadriel looked after him, amused confusion written on her face. Celeborn approached a Hobbit who seemed to be on his way into the Green Dragon in need of some sort of refreshment. "Good Sir!" Celeborn voiced merrily, "If you would be so kind as to direct our party to Bag End."

The Hobbit in question, one Dunbarrow by name and a good sort of fellow, looked a little stunned at first, to be addressed by this Elven Lord, emanating a regal strength which was paired unexpectantly with a joyfulness that was plain for all to see. He quickly recovered his Hobbit good sense and said in a strong, clear voice, craning his neck to meet the Elven Lord eye to eye. "Bag End, you say!"

Celeborn smiled serenely and inclined his head.

"Well, you'll be wanting to keep to the left. You'll come to a row of trees, what's called New Row now, been replanted by Master Samwise Gamgee, with the help of her lady's soil," he glanced at Galadriel and realisation struck that this was indeed the lady of which he spoke. Galadriel held his eye kindly and smiled, Dunbarrow swallowed, but continued gamely onwards, returning his gaze to the Elven Lord, "Keep on New Row until you come to a gate and the hobbit hole beyond is Bag End. You can't miss it!"

"Thank you most kindly, Good Sir!" Celeborn fairly sang out "You have been most helpful." and in one graceful, fluid motion regained his horse's seat and the Elven party stepped off once again, leaving the astonished Hobbit gazing after them, thinking, "Grander folk, I've never seen!" Remembering his thirst, Dunbarrow thought, quite a tale this will make, but first before telling a tale, one must wet the whistle with a fine brew. And he went inside to do just that. 

***

"Did you enjoy yourself, My Lord?" Galadriel peered at her husband's delighted countenance, a knowing smile playing across her lips.

"You know...I did indeed." Celeborn's face lit with joy and amusement. The directions of course had not been needed, but Celeborn sought to break through the awed silence and talking seemed the best approach.

***

In the woods near Bag End as the Elves approach, Arwen was learning of their arrival.

"Einadar a Einnaneth are coming here." Arwen did not know exactly why, but she felt panicked by the fact. She had had contact with so few of her own kith and kin since her marriage. She did not know if that was due to her father or not. Galadriel had not been against that match, per se. And neither had her brothers, if truth be told. Elrond had, though. Their parting in Rohan after her wedding had not been a happy one and it tended to overshadow any other feelings she had about her kin. To Aragorn she looked like a bird about to take flight, "Is my Adar with them?" She asked slightly unsteadily staring through the trees, not really seeing them.

"I do not believe so." Aragorn stated, concern in his eyes, "But I cannot be sure." he answered truthfully.

Arwen drew a deep breath and composed herself, "I am ready," She said swiftly, meaning to portray calmness and serenity.

She looked as if she were preparing for a harrowing ordeal, Aragorn thought. What passed between Elrond and her that night? But Aragorn could only wonder at the words exchanged, she had never mentioned it to him. Aragorn sighed at yet another secret withheld, but again said nothing. 

Arwen rose from the low tree branch in which she had been sitting and faced Aragorn looking into his eyes and seeming to try and draw strength from them. "Hold me! Do not ever let go!"

Aragorn confused and scared, "Never. My love." His mind cried out, what troubles you, my heart? but his voice remained silent, afraid of the answer.

Arwen's fluttering heart was calmed in Aragorn's arms. As always she felt strong, beautiful and loved when held by him. But it could not always be so. She knew must learn to live her own life, but more and more lately she felt scared and unsure. It was most unsettling and not a little humbling. The news that her beloved grandparents were arriving soon only inexplicably increased this panic. 

Aragorn felt her panicked rhythms calm themselves as he held her. He kissed the top of her dark head. They gently swayed side to side. His worries increased until he could longer contain them. "My love," his voice broke, "What troubles you? Can you not tell me?"

Arwen stiffened in his arms, "Nay, I cannot," came the muffled response, "Please do not ask me."

Fear slashed through Aragorn and he could not bring himself to press his beloved further. He held his pregnant wife in his arms and pondered the future and the past, worry growing in his heart.

***

The Elves gained Bag End soon after leaving Dunbarrow to his storytelling. They rode with light hearts thinking of Hobbit hospitality and the good times to be had. Celeborn signaled for Rumil to knock upon the rounded door. The Lorien archer had just dismounted when Frodo came around the house carrying a smallish cask of ale. 

Seeing the Ringbearer, Rumil bowed low, hand on heart and said, "Mae Govannen! Frodo Baggins. We have come to celebrate and break bread with you, if you will have us."

Frodo's eyes lit up and setting the cask down, he surveyed the assembled retinue said, "If we will have you? My Lords, you are most welcome! Come inside!"

At that the Elves dismounted and followed Frodo, Rumil retrieving the forgotten cask, hefting it onto his shoulder.

Crossing a Hobbit threshold is never an easy task for an Elf, seen from a purely technical point of view. Hobbits being the shortest people in Middle Earth and Elves being among the tallest. But Elves, ever desiring merry company, were willing to brave the small elements of a Hobbit hole, because the rewards of good food and better company were far greater than the little trouble incurred. Celeborn stooped through the door of the little dwelling. He held out his hand to assist Galadriel over the threshold, stating merrily afterwards, "I do believe this is the loveliest home I have ever had the privilege to enter!"

Rosie, who had rushed to the door to greet the new arrivals blushed to hear such a compliment from the Lord of Light. "Thank you, my lord." she began rather abashedly for, aside from Legolas, she was still rather unaccustomed to the bright and beautiful Elves. "It is kind of you to say!"

"It is nothing but the truth!" Celeborn said merrily.

Rosie then dropped a small Hobbit curtsey to Galadriel, "We are honored, My Lady that you have deemed us worthy of such a long journey!"

Glowing gently Galadriel replied, "It is we who are honoured to attend this joyous celebration."

Legolas, coming forward holding little Elanor in his arms yet again, said "Mae Govannen! My Lord, My Lady--At this he paused for Elrond's sons had just bent into the small Hobbit hole. "Elladan! Elrohir! I did not know that you were coming! So good it is to see you again!"

"I hope you do not mind," Galadriel explained to Frodo, "We passed through Rivendell on our way here and the twins desired to join us."

Frodo said, "Of course, my lady! They are most welcome!"

At this Elladan and Elrohir placed their hands on their hearts and bowed their heads in thanks. As they did Legolas noticed a strained tension in his friends' movement, but put that thought aside for the moment.  "My lord, My lady, might I present to you, my little love, Elanor Gil-dithen nín, who in three days time will be turning the ripe old age of two."

"Elanor Gil-dithen nín! The flower of Lothlorien. Never since my own dear daughter have I beheld such a perfect little beauty." Celeborn reached down to retrieve a flower from a nearby vase, held it to his face between cupped hands. He blew gently into them as a slight breeze reminiscent of a Lorien spring blew in through the door. Celeborn revealed a small golden flower for which the child had been named, which he then held out to Elanor. 

The child's eyes were wide with wonder and she grasped the flower stem and then looked again into the smiling, silver gaze of the ageless Elf Lord. Elanor's face broke into a sunny smile and another Elf was charmed.

Galadriel laughed, "Sam, she is truly lovely!" Elanor turned towards the melody of Galadriel's voice and laughed again, prompting the Lady to reach out to Legolas to hold her. "My little one! Much happiness will you bring to all that know you. And that is a rare gift, indeed. Use it well," she said as she held the child rapt gazing into her blue eyes, humming a strain of an elven song and bouncing the child gently in her arms.

Galadriel was reminded of Arwen and the beauty that had much the same effect on everyone when she was Elanor's age.

"Has Aragorn arrived yet?" The strange tension that Legolas had earlier noticed and dismissed in the twins was back in Galadriel's voice.

Legolas realised in a flash what that tension must have meant and was surprised that it had not struck him sooner. That he knew of, Arwen had not seen her kin since her wedding.

"He and Arwen arrived yesterday along with Faramir and Eowyn. I'm not quite sure where they are at the moment." Legolas said.

***

At that moment, Aragorn was also wondering where Arwen was and who had replaced her with this troubled little bird onto which he gently held. He did not understand it. What couldn't she tell him? He feared one answer but he couldn't let that blind him to any other possibilities. Her physical health as far as he could tell was fine, but more could ail a person than just the physical, Arwen was simply slipping away from him faster with each passing day. He shook himself from these thoughts and suggested that they make their way back to the house. Arwen looked him long as if there was something she wished to say then stopped herself and began walking back towards the house. 

They had just rounded a bend in the path when Arwen stopped short seeing Lorien horses tethered just outside Bag End. She then, drew herself up and walked the last distance to the house, Aragorn followed close behind. As she entered the house all conversation stopped and many a pair of eyes met her at the door. Again she paused, at a loss, and then saw two she did not expect. 

"Elladan! Elrohir!" Joy shot through her as she ran the short distance to her brothers and was encircled in a warm, loving hug. Tears stung her eyes as she kissed both brothers, "In truth it has not been that long but it has felt so much longer!" 

Elladan whispered into Arwen's neck, "We've missed you so much, mell muinthel," his voice thick with emotion. 

"Melldanya!" Elrohir kissed her cheek and wiped a tear from his eye as he drew back to view his pregnant sister, "You look so beautiful and with child." His eyes filled with regret at having missed much of this time in Arwen's life. Curse Adar, for trying to keep us separate. His hand reached up and gently caressed Arwen's face.

Arwen shone as she hugged her brothers, Aragorn had not seen her this happy and contented in a very long time. It was as if a light from within had been rekindled. Aragorn's heart ached to see it, both from happiness and pain. Regret and doubt filled him as he stared at the reunited brothers and sister. He caught Galadriel watching at him, he held her searching gaze for a moment but could take no more and left the room as quickly as he could without raising suspicion. Faramir had also observed his reaction to Arwen and her brothers and with a kiss and silent word to Eowyn, he too slipped away.

***

Normally Aragorn could hold Galadriel's gaze with something approaching equanimity having been raised with Elves and not unfamiliar with their ways, but today it was just not to be. There were too many conflicting emotions roiling inside him to bear her penetrating stare. He had somehow arrived at the stream where Arwen had rebuffed his efforts to comfort her. Aragorn collapsed to his knees by the banks of the stream, torn by the emotions that would no longer stay under wraps. I have done this to her. It is because of me that she cannot be happy he thought mournfully, his heart breaking as he thought it. And I can do nothing to ease her pain when she will not even allow me to enter into her heart. He despaired. He was slowly through his own love destroying that which he held most dear. He had trod the Path of the Dead. Fought the powers of evil on its very soil and had never felt the sense of despair that he felt now. He had withstood much; always knowing in his heart his reward was her love. Now she was wasting away because of him and the choice she made to stay by his side. She was about to give birth to their first child, he should feel joy, instead he felt nothing save the recurring thought of "I have done this to her."

A step behind him broke his troubled reverie; he turned to see Faramir stop in his tracks, waiting for a sign that it was all right to continue onwards. Aragorn gently nodded. His Steward walked the last few feet and sat next to his King. "I beg pardon, my liege, if I am disturbing you in any way," Faramir began deferentially. 

"Please, Faramir, we are in the Shire. You need not call me "my liege" here. As you see the others do not." Aragorn did not think he could bear any formality right now.

Faramir nodded his assent, "As you wish...Aragorn." he stated hesitantly, but after a moment seemed to decide upon a course that he would not have normally taken had they been in any other portion of his liege's kingdom. "If you will pardon me for asking, Aragorn," he paused, then pushed onwards, "What troubles you, my lord? I only ask out of concern for you, but if you do not wish to confide in me, I shall understand. If I offend, please pardon me." Faramir finished, unsure of himself and alarmed at the pain he saw in his liege's eyes.

Aragorn paused, smiling despite himself at the younger man's discomfiture. "Nay, you do not offend me. It pleases me to know that you care enough to enquire and feel confident enough to try."

Faramir remained silent, hopefully expectant. Aragorn sighed, "I'm not sure anything can be done."

"Well, if I knew what caused the problem, perhaps I can seek a solution for you." the younger man said earnestly, growing in confidence at his lord's forbearance.

Aragorn laughed, "Faramir, you are most persistent!"

"So Eowyn tells me daily, along with my many faults!" Faramir chuckled slightly.

Aragorn turned thoughtful, gazing at his Steward, a man of considerable intelligence, abilities and compassion. A man he had come to respect for his honesty and integrity. "You are happy in your marriage, are you not? I can tell by the way you and Eowyn look at each other. It warms my heart to see it."

The young Steward looked down, a blush crept across his face, "Yes, my lord. She is my life, my soul. I do not think I should want to continue living if she were not by my side, making me laugh, making me think. She loves me, though I still sometimes wonder why." he stopped, bashful that he had revealed so much to his king.

"She loves you because you a good and honorable man, Faramir. and have given her much." Aragorn said thinking of Eowyn when he had first met her at Edoras.  She had been full of regret and sadness; a soul longing for a life beyond sorrow and duty.

"It is she who has given to me!" Faramir contested, then stopped short. "I'm not always the most forthcoming about what is upsetting to me. Force of habit."

Aragorn thought of the one who forced that habit, Faramir's father, Denethor, the last of the ruling Stewards, and of the unfathomable contempt in which he had held his second son.

Faramir continued, "But she brings it out of me, Aragorn. She helps me to be a better man." He looked up cautiously wondering what Aragorn was thinking of these words. 

Aragorn looked pensive, saying slowly, "I know of these feelings too, my friend. Arwen resides in my heart. I so love her that I cannot bear to be apart. She is in my heart and in my head. A part of all that is good in me." Aragorn's face bore an anguish that it pained Faramir to see, "But alas, I fear it is not enough." Aragorn said, shaking his head, "Daily she slips from me."

"Do you doubt her love, my lord? And pardon my asking." Faramir inquired.

"Nay! Faramir! That she loves me, of that I'm sure." Aragorn avowed. And I fear it will be her undoing. he thought but did not say, "A part of her grows more shadowed and sorrowed each day. I cannot reach her. She will not confide in me."

Faramir looked at his King and then out toward the small stream, quickened by winter's thaw, his face thoughtful, "Much pain was in Eowyn's heart." Faramir glanced quickly at Aragorn catching his King's downcast gaze, "Much pain was held within mine." he continued, "You cannot force Arwen to tell of her pain, but you can trust her enough to listen to yours." he ventured. Aragorn looked towards him ready to protest but Faramir pressed ahead not meeting Aragorn's gaze. "She loves you, I know she does, and you wish to not burden her with your troubles, especially as you feel she carries her own. But it is this very act of love that is keeping you apart. You must share your burdens and derive strength from each other. Only then can you can truly ease her pain." Faramir fell silent, wondering at his audacity. As if to make amends for his boldness, Faramir spun and kneeled before his king, head bowed, "Forgive me, my king. I see that I speak out of turn. It is a fault that I often let my emotions overcrowd my good sense often to my own detriment. Although all that I have said was meant in love and concern." Faramir stayed kneeling awaiting the King's displeasure. After no scathing words were delivered nor harsh blow received, Faramir looked up and stared in amazement. 

The King's eyes were filled with pain and compassion, bright with tears. "Never apologise again for who and what are you, my dear friend. Your words do not offend me." Aragorn reached out and put his hand upon Faramir's shoulder, "They are wise and I shall try and heed them."

"Yes, The Steward of Gondor does counsel wisely." came a serious and somber voice from behind. The two men spun and stood to behold the Lady of Light standing above them at the top of the bank. Faramir cast his eyes respectfully downwards as the Lady descended the bank shore. She gently lifted his head with her hand, "You are wise beyond your years, Faramir, son of Denethor. Never doubt again your heart or your worth." With this she kissed his forehead, "Leave us now, for I have much to discuss with your lord." Faramir cast a quick glance at Aragorn, who nodded slightly, and after touching his heart in farewell he silently left.

Galadriel smiled, noting that he would not take a direct command from her but looked to his lord for his leave, then settled gracefully upon a small upraise into the soil folding her legs around her, "He is a very good man, loyal and honest, pity his father could never see that in him."

"He is the best of among men and I am lucky to have him as my Steward." Aragorn replied earnestly, sitting once again.

"And he counsels well."

Aragorn sighed, his earlier pain returning to his heart and fell silent.

"That which is chosen cannot be unchosen, Aragorn. But it was her choice. Nobody forced her. It is not your fault." she finished answering the blame that he had laid at his own door.

Aragorn closed his eyes against the raging pain and doubt, and looked away.

"You are a stubborn man!" she paused, "Aragorn...Estel, look at me." Aragorn slowly turned back toward the Lady who said slowly, "You cannot help ease Arwen's pain until you forgive yourself for loving her."

She held his troubled gray gaze until he started to pull away saying, 

"I am a selfish, cruel man." Aragorn began miserably, "I have seen the shadow growing upon her and yet I have been too afraid of my own pain and grief to comfort her. Today when she was in joy at seeing her two brothers, my own foster brothers, I was in misery, because all my fears had been answered. She has made a choice that will bring her to sadness and I am the cause of that my Lady. That you cannot deny!" He argued angrily.

"I will not lie to you, " Galadriel said solemnly, "it is a choice that will cause her sadness." Aragorn quickly looked at her, "But it will also bring much joy." she continued. "It is what she wants. To choose another path would have led to no good. Has she not said as much herself?" Aragorn reluctantly nodded. "As for your charge of cruelty, do you really know yourself so little? You are so 'cruel' you would keep all hurt from her, even that which you yourself might inflict. You keep your pain away from her, so as not to trouble her in any way, causing yourself much distress and doubt in the process. These are not the actions of a cruel and selfish man; he cares nothing for the feelings of others and only looks to his own needs. They are, perhaps," Galadriel gently lifted his chin to meet her eyes," those of a man desperately in love and unpracticed in depending upon another. Also," she added more sternly lifting her proud chin, "Do you think that I would allow my only granddaughter to fall in love with an man such as the one you describe? I think you know me better than that, Estel."

Aragorn began to see sense in the Lady's words and his own pain began to recede somewhat, "Thank you, my Lady. But if I am not the cause, what is? What can I do? The shadow grows on her daily. I am at a loss."

"As I say before, decisions made cannot be unmade. Arwen, while knowing in her heart this is the right choice for her, is having trouble finding her own path through to the life she wants with you. Regret for what she has given up and those from whom she must be forever parted weighs heavily on her heart. She feels she cannot discuss these feelings with you for fear of hurting you. She would also keep all anguish from your heart and so her grief has festered and as in the way of Elves it has begun to dim her light; her soul. She knows she has made one that she loves dearly very unhappy at her decision. You know that she and Elrond parted badly, in Rohan after your wedding."

"Yes, but she never speaks of it. And I have hesitated to press." he added sheepishly.

"Nor should you. Faramir is right, you cannot force her to share her pain, you can only trust her with yours. But it is this rift between her and Elrond that is poisoning both their souls. She, to anguish; he to bitterness. This wound must be tended before either can truly heal." She reflected, "It is so strange that Elrond is so skilled at healing, so good at seeing clearly another's pain, but cannot see the wound upon his own heart. But love often clouds vision normally so clear." 

"What can be done, my Lady?" Aragorn asked, breaking Galadriel from her contemplations.

"Celeborn and I have tried to reason with the Lord of Imladris," she said with a certain amount of chagrin that Aragorn wondered at, "But I think perhaps, you might have more success if you were to speak with him."

"I could leave tomorrow early for Rivendell." 

"Nay, I think it best that you stay until after little Elanor's celebrations. After all, it will give you time to put Faramir's wise words into action. Talk to your wife, Estel. That is also a way you can begin to ease her grief. She needs you."

Aragorn feeling humbled said, "Yes, of course." He started to rise.

Galadriel stayed him with a hand gently placed on his arm. "Remember, you can only help her by forgiving yourself a little more easily. She will always love you." 

Aragorn then rose and smiled gratefully, "Thank you, my Lady. Your words have eased my heart." He touched his heart and his head in respectfully farewell and left to seek Arwen.

Galadriel closed her eyes and sighed. She remained on the stream bank, soaking up the warmth of the sun and allowing her senses to peacefully co-mingle with the budding greenness and growth of the Shire spring, letting it to soothe away the stress and strain of the past weeks.

***

Arwen, after she had talked with her brothers, looked around for Aragorn to bring him into the circle. But when she scanned the room, he was gone. She turned a worried countenance back to her brothers, "Did you see Aragorn leave?" They shook their heads, Elrohir replying, "I did not see him leave but I was not, at that point looking." Arwen pondered Aragorn's absence. Pippin as he was crossing to the kitchen to refill his ale mug, overheard her asking her brothers where Aragorn was. "I saw him go outside just after you came in, he looked kind of upset, now that I think of it. " This increased her worry. 

"Thank you, Pippin," she replied as she started out the door, "I am sorry my brothers, I must seek him." 
"Of course! Do you need any help?" Elrohir offered, instantly concerned.

"Nay, I must seek him alone, but my thanks." Arwen turned and was out the door.

She spied him just cresting the little hill that lead down to the stream. He looked up with such a hopeful look on his face that she ran to him and kissed him with all the pent-up love that was in her heart. He responded with such a hungry, fervent longing that she felt the ground fall from beneath her feet and the only thing that was keeping her upright was his arms. They stood like that for several minutes and when she finally came up for breath, she whispered, "I love you, can you forgive me!"

Aragorn stared deep into her violet-blue eyes, "I am the one who must beg forgiveness. I have been thoughtless, I haven't told you the worries in my heart, seeking only to protect you and doing you disservice of not confiding in you completely. Only did I fear the answer. That you were doubtful of your choices and wished to have never made them. Forgive me, I have failed you and through my own weakness have allowed you to fall into doubt and despair." Aragorn said in a torrent of emotion.

Arwen looked on him, love her eyes, "My heart! Do not give it a second thought. I could never say anything because I thought that if you knew of my regrets you would think that I doubted my decision. I do not. I may have regrets I shall face them and cast away the shadows that linger. I love you and I say again. I would rather live one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.**"

Aragorn's heart soared upon hearing those words and all the fears and regrets that he had about what Arwen had chosen to do no longer resounded within his mind. 

*********

** = direct quote from either book or film screenplay. Einadar! Einnaneth! = My gloss of Sindarin meaning "Grandfather, Grandmother"

mell muinthel = Sweet Sister