Ch. 5 - “Always, My dear girl”

Éowyn found herself hugged by first Holdlith and then Héohelm.  She had tears in her eyes that no amount of royal restraint could keep from falling.  She saw Héohelm hug his friends who had ridden south.  All else would keep while initial joy held sway.  Holdlith pulled back from a second hug and looked into her young friend’s eyes.  Beyond the obvious grief for her uncle she saw a calmness of spirit, a happiness where there had always been a restlessness before.  She smiled, but she knew amid this tumult of joy and reunion was not the place to ask questions.  She merely said, “When the outrider, Elffred appeared with the message for Gamhelm, it was only then that we knew that you lived.” 

Éowyn hugged her friend again, “I am so sorry for everything that I put you through.  Can you ever forgive me?”

Holdlith pulled back from the hug and looked into Éowyn’s eyes, “Forgive?  There is nothing to forgive.  I am just happy to see you happy and whole again.” Possibly for the first time She thought, smiling at her friend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lady Saelith had been tending to the weekly inventory of the kitchen stores with Thilda.  She sighed, “With those staying within the Golden Hall due to the storm, the store of barley and oats is lower than I am comfortable with.”  She looked at Thilda.  “We shall all have to tighten our belts a little more until we can get back on a normal footing.”

“Aye, my lady.  It has been a rough go of it, but we shall make do!”  Thilda replied firmly.

Saelith was about to reply when Wilda, one of the housemaids, bounded into the kitchens. “The horn of Welcome has sounded!  They are here!  I just saw Lord Erkenbrand heading to the gate now!”

Saelith froze and then looked at Thilda with fear in her eyes.  Thilda looked at her with compassion.  She had come to like the lady with her brisk ways, “My Lady?  Go!  Quicker to know either way!”

Saelith dazedly undid her smock.  “You are right, Thilda.  But the stock is not done…?”

Thilda stated firmly, “Pish to the stock!  It will tend itself!

Saelith shook herself from her daze, “Aye, Aye!  You are right!”  she said, still somewhat distractedly.  She started towards the door.

Thilda eyed the young noblewoman with some affection.  She turned to the maid, “Wilda, you had best go with her.  She is not quite herself.  Be there, should she receive unwelcome news.”

Wilda bobbed a curtsy, “Aye!  That I will.  But I hope I am not needed.”

“Aye, child!  So do I!  Now go!”

WIlda quickened her steps to catch Lady Saelith. “My lady!” She called.  The noblewoman stopped, with a puzzled look on her face.

“Wilda?  What is it?  Is there something you need?” Her face showed the impatience to move forward but she needed to know what the problem was.

Bobbing her head, Wilda stated quickly, “Thilda said to be with you, should you have need of me.  Though I hope not to be needed…”  She stumbled over these last words, hoping she had not said too much.

“Not to be need–” Saelith stopped herself as dawning recognition fell upon her.  She looked back up the hill.  She bit her lip as emotions that she too had been taught not to show, flowed through her, “I must thank Thilda later.  Thank you, Wilda.”  She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, “Come, let us go.”  They continued down to the gate briskly to an outcome unknown.

They reached the gate as Elfhelm was informing the gathered crowd of Théoden King’s demise.  A pang of sorrow for the King crossed Saelith’s heart and she looked to her side as Wilda gasped in dismay, as a servant at the Golden Hall occasionally serving at table she knew the king to be a kindly if sometimes distracted man.  Tears fell.  Then she heard that Lord Éomer was asking to be king.  She dried her tears and shouted, “Aye!”

She followed as Saelith continued through the gathered citizens, driven as the noblewoman was to view the army to see her Haere.  Having reached the front Saelith began scanning the first line of Riders.  She saw Éomer addressing the line of captains and then dismiss them.  She did not see Haere and her heart started to darken.  

“Oh, My lady…”  Wilda started but Saelith stayed her sympathy with a slight gesture, her heart breaking; her eyes brimming.

“One so beautiful should never look so sad.”  A voice to thrill her heart and stop her tears sounded.

Saelith looked up and burst into tears of a different sort; those of joy.  Her Haere dismounted and took her in his arms and they kissed.  She pulled back and looked at him, touching to make sure he was real and whole, “You are here…not dead on a battlefield away from me!”

“Aye!  I am here and not dead on some unknown battlefield.”  Haere stated and enveloped his indomitable wife in his arms again.  “Though many are not…” 

Saelith heard the tremor in his voice and vowed at that moment to love him through the trauma that she heard.  Looking into her husband’s blue eyes she saw pain that he was trying to hide from her as he had always done.  Always trying to shield her from pain and unpleasantness.  Before the war she had always welcomed it, but she had grown up in the past weeks and realised that she did not want to be protected anymore.  They may have both changed.  War does that but she was determined that they would weather life together.

Haere looked into his wife’s blue-green eyes.  He had always been amazed that she had favoured him.  When they first met, she had been so beautiful and delicate.  He recalled what her father had said. He instructed Haere that Saelith had never been exposed to the harshness of life and she needed protection.  Haere instantly agreed and the couple had made a life together with him always shielding her.  Now looking into her eyes, he saw something different.  Gone was the girl that needed protection but in her place was a vibrant woman ready to share their life.  He recalled seeing her in Dunharrow with that adorable scarf wrapped around her head serving up stew to the people. He kissed her again.  He was home in a way he had never truly been before.  Ruefully as duty reminded him of his task, he ended the kiss.

“I must get on to inform my men that they are discharged,” Haere said in a voice of regret, making ready to mount his horse once again, “But I saw you and could not take one more step without you!”

Seeing him about to mount his horse Saelith declared, “I am coming with you!”  She turned to Wilda, remembering the girl was there, “You can return to the kitchens with joyous news!”

Caught up in the rampant joy she was witnessing, Wilda wiped her eyes, “Oh Aye!  My Lady, I shall!”  She turned and dodged happy people, her feet not even touching the ground.

~*~*~*~*~*~

As Éowyn rode through Edoras to Meduseld, she beheld many a friendly look and call outs of “So happy to see you!” and “overjoyed that you are back safely, My Lady!”  Everywhere she looked she saw happy faces of welcome.  Her wounded soul began to heal thinking Gamhelm had indeed taken care of it as he had promised.  She looked at Holdlith who walked by her side as they rode.  Éomer was on her other side as they made their progress up to the Golden Hall, eyes filled with awe.  Éomer equally looked stunned by wonder as he was greeted by the populace as King.  “Hail Éomer King!” sounded by many along the way and a less formal “Home safe, Béma be praised.”  Éomer raised a hand in acknowledgment to each cheer.  Éowyn saw the look on her brother’s face, one of mingled grief and responsibility and curiously, doubt.  She would approach him later to talk, if she could get him to; Éomer was not always forthcoming with his feelings.

The stables came into view and Éowyn quickened Windfola’s steps.  She was truly home.  She dismounted and walked Windfola into the stables.  She saw Gamhelm’s burly form from the back.  She cleared her throat and then said, “Pray, good master stableman, can I board my horse here for the night?”  She said in a voice shaking with emotion.

Gamhelm stood and then turned around, “Well,” he started in an equally choked voice, “We don’t just board any horse.”  There stood Éowyn, alive and well.  Glowing, in fact.  His heart swelled with happiness and Éowyn ran into his arms and was immediately enveloped in a great bearhug.  She burst into tears, so much pent-up emotion came flowing forth.  She gulped and sobbed and Gamhelm sat her down on an obliging hay bale and just let her cry, holding her like she was the eight-year-old girl that had stolen his heart all those years ago.  “Let it all out, my lytling!  You just cry.  You’ve had a long, hard road but you are home now.”

Holdlith and Éomer approached the stables as Éowyn burst into tears.  As he handed his reins off to the waiting stable boy to have Windfleet taken to his stall, Éomer’s first impulse was to go to his sister, but Holdlith stayed him gently with a hand on his arm.  “Nay, My King,” she whispered gently.  “Let her have this time.  She needs a father’s arms and Gamhelm can provide that office.”  Éomer looked at the older woman for whom he knew Éowyn had great affection. At first he was doubtful, casting sorrowful eyes on his sister.  But then chewing his lip in thought he acquiesced, “You are right Mistress Holdlith, my sister deserves the gentle touch.  She has had so little of it in her life and has deserved it ever.”

Holdlith smiled and looked into his earnest blue eyes and motioned him down toward her.  Curious, Éomer acceded to her wishes.  She laced her fingers though his hair, which he allowed out of respect for his sister’s friendship.  She kissed his forehead as his mother had when he was a small boy and he felt strangely comforted.

Holdlith’s vision blurred and then saw images of golden wheat fields waving in the wind and well kept crofts and contented people tending to their daily tasks.  She saw an older version of Éomer with wisdom in his eyes and speaking to a child and the child was looking at him in wide-eyed wonder.  

“Mistress Holdlith, are you well?”  She looked into Éomer’s eyes full of worry, grief and humility.

“Aye, my King.”  She patted his hand in a motherly way saying softly, “And so will you be, too.  You grieve now but there will be much happiness in your life.”

Éomer saw such certainty in her eyes and such kindness that he could only say, “Thank you,” somewhat bewildered at her certainty.  Even so, her words had touched his heart.  “Come let’s away, to the Hall proper,” he said decisively.  “Lord Erkenbrand says many are housing in the Hall currently as their homes await repair.”

“Aye, my King,”  Holdlith nodded, “I and many others are bedding down in the Hall of Song.  And we are most grateful.”

Holdlith looked back at Gamhelm as she and Éomer were leaving the stables.  They held eyes for a minute and Gamhelm mouthed, “Thank you.”  Holdlith gave a small smile as she departed.  

Gamhelm held his precious sobbing daughter-of-the-heart in his arms for a few more minutes.  When the sobs lessened in severity he pulled away gently and looked into her eyes.  Éowyn was a little embarrassed to have cried as much as she did, but she could not have stopped herself if she had tried.  “Oh Gamhelm!  Your shirt!”  It was soaked through in places and the leather from his apron had large spots from her tears.

“Pish!”  The burly man replied with a smile, “The shirt will dry and the tears give the leather character!”

Éowyn gave a tearful laugh, and continued with, “It is so good to see you!  Is Gamwen well?”  she asked after Gamhelm’s wife.

“She is fine!”  Gamhelm stood up and placed Éowyn on her feet as well.  “Let me look at you!”  He held her arms wide and looked her up and down.  He saw past the tears and saw an inner happiness in his daughter’s eyes.  The happiness of her girlhood at times, “My dear.  I pronounce you fit and happy.  It looks good on you!”

Éowyn smiled radiantly, “I have found what you told me to look for all those years ago!”

Gamhelm was at a loss, “And what was that my dear?” for he truthfully did not know.

“A gentle heart, Gamhelm.  I have found him.  You said it was most important.”

At first the older man did not understand.  But then he had heard the word “him”, and he remembered a long ago talk between him and a little red-haired spitfire.  “Have you now?”

“Aye!  His name is Faramir!  And we met in the Houses of Healing in Minas Tirith.  Where we were both recovering–”

“You were injured!  How?  Where?  Are you well now?”  Gamhelm interrupted as fear gripped his heart.

“I am well.”  Éowyn reassured him.  A shadow crossed her face, “My injury is a tale for another time.”  She brightened once again almost as if to distract herself from memory, “We met and we-, we helped each.  He is wonderful and kind and brave.”

Gamhelm clasped her hands which had been gesticulating wildly, “I hope to meet this paragon of male virtue to make sure that he is good enough for you.”

“You will and he is!  Éomer has and he already approves!”  

Gamhelm raised his sandy brown eyebrows.  Éomer was very protective of his sister, “If your brother approves then this Faramir must be special indeed.”

“He is.  You will see.”  Éowyn paused, “speaking of my brother, did I hear him earlier?”  

“Aye, it was him.  He and Holdlith have gone into the Hall proper.”

Éowyn paused and then she pursed her lips as if she had something pressing that she needed to say.  Gamhelm tilted his head and looked at her expectantly.  “When I left,” she began hesitantly, “When I chose to desert our people…”

The older man grabbed her hands and pulled them up to kiss them, “I am going to stop you right there, daughter.  I’ll not be hearing that talk.  You did what you needed to do.”

“But did I, or was I just being self-indulgent?” Éowyn tried to lay blame at her own feet.

“All right, we will talk and I will ask.  What was the result of your leaving?” Gamhelm leveled a look at her, “Because we were fine.  I told people that Théoden, at the last, asked for you to come south and they accepted that.”

“They did?” Éowyn asked, “But Gamhelm, that wasn’t actually true.”

“Well, it should have been.”, Gamhelm proclaimed, “and I would not have anyone casting doubts upon your actions!  Not after everything you have done for people.  I wasn’t going to stand for it!” He cleared his throat. “I ask you again.  What was the result of your going south?  Now you don’t have to tell me but think to yourself what would have happened if you didn’t go.”

Éowyn paused for a moment and thought about all that had happened.  She was overwhelmed with the dire consequences of her not going.  Slowly her guilt was sluiced away.  Éowyn looked at Gamhelm with tears filling her eyes and love for this gruff bear of a man who had been such a rock in her life.  “Thank you.”

Gamhelm’s eyes filled with tears, “Always, my dear girl.”