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Tangled Web  by daw the minstrel 35 Review(s)
Tapetum LucidumReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/31/2004
Good job with the battle scene! It must have been hard to coordinate all of those troops while keeping a clear picture in your head. You do a good job describing the overall events from the perspective of one person. It makes the situation a lot more personal.

All of our heroes let their attention falter in this one and all have paid the price. Ithilden must have been completely distraught to see his son in danger and be unable to act. It must have been terrible for Legolas to leave and injured Beliond among the rocks. (I think his keeper is wounded more often than he is) Only his concern for his family and his people enabled him to walk away.

Killing off Todith was not a big surprise. I didn't think he would survive this because it was the best way to make Legolas captain of the home guard before "A Question of Duty." The lieutenant's discovery of his captain was very touching, his memories of his first patrol were very sweet. Eilain's thoughts over Galelas left tears in my eyes. He was unfortunate to not have the love and support that the Thranduilion took for granted. I doubt Tinar will cope very well.

The suspense before the arrival of the youngest princes of the realm was excellent. You had me worried over who else had fallen. Nithron's death was hard but Sinnarn's would have been worse. I am glad he is still around!

The closing scene with the brothers weeping in each others' arms was very sad. Boromir's death was certainly not the first that Legolas had encountered.

Author Reply: This battle was much bigger than the little skirmishes I usually write, but at least I had Tolkien's outline to follow. I just moved in closer to see it through a warrior's eyes instead of from above as an omniscient narrator (although the narrator was Bilbo, and I don't know how omniscient he is really).

I thought Todith's death was pretty predictable for exactly the reason you name. I felt terrible about Galelas. I still do. He had a horrible family, something that makes Eilian see his own family more clearly, even his sometimes troubled relationship with his father.

I considered killing Sinnarn, but Thranduil is too cheery at the end of "The Hobbit" to have just lost a beloved grandson. In other words, killing Sinnarn seemed uncanonical. Weird, eh?

I loved the brothers comforting one another after this horrible battle.

Estel_Mi_OlorReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/9/2004
*Sob* What can I say? That was a superior chapter! One of your best. But so sad! Nithron, Todith, maybe even Beliond, gone. And there are others, nameless figures, Men, Elves, and Dwarves that we do not consider. Alas that victory should cost so dear. I never thought of the Battle of the Five Armies in this light before. Thank you for making it seem the right way, and not just some victory that is not appreciated. I believe Tolkien would thank you also. There is nothing else to say-oh yes, one more thing: My favorite scene in the entire chapter was Legolas weeping in Eilian's arms. Very well done-thanks for including that. Reality hits you hard sometimes. Keep writing, I am eager to see whether Beliond and Sinnarn will live.

Author Reply: Thank you, Estel. Battle may be necessary but it is never pretty and this one was a bad one. Tolkien tells us that lots of people died, and my characters felt that. I'm glad you did too, even if it's kind of sick of me to be glad I made you feel bad!

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/9/2004
I am sure this chapter was emotionally draining to write, but it is brilliantly written. Seeing this battle from an active participant shows the grim horrors of war...and the sorrow of losing a comrade. I can only imagine what was running through Eilian's and Legolas's minds as they went to their father's tent.

Poor Nithron - he died doing what his king asked him to do - protect my grandson. For love of Sinnarn and probably love of the one he served previously, he died to save him. Galelas too - stepping between Legolas and an orc. Heroic deaths; I am sure in Mandos's Halls they are honored.

Author Reply: It was draining. I was depressed all day yesterday, which is preposterous, given that I made all these people up, but there it was. I really like the idea of them being honored in the Halls of Mandos.

CasualisReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/9/2004
I have tried reviewing at FF.net but it wouldn't let me do it. But this chapter being a chapter I cannot miss reviewing, I will do it here.
It was wondeful from the very first line to the last. I could feel the uncertainty of battle and the tears at the end. I'm just feeling so sorry for Galelas. At the beginning of your stories, he was a pain in the backside, but he grew in a strong and pleasant character whom I learned to appreciate.
Anyway, that was a great update which left me strangely moved.

Cas

Author Reply: Thank you, Casualis. I felt pretty bad about Galelas myself. The chapter was hard to write because the events were so grim. The battle was necessary but it was still horrible to experience.

DotReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
Oh daw, I could cry. I can’t believe I missed so many chapters. And it looks like it's nearly over too. I had to go to hospital unexpectedly nearly two weeks ago and I’ve been there since. But they took my gallbladder out on Tuesday and let me home yesterday so the first chance I got I checked your story. I feel so bad about not reviewing but to be honest I don’t think I’d be able to go back over all the chapters I’ve missed so I’ll probably just start again from the next one – I just wanted to drop you a line incase you thought I’d abandoned you! I had a quick read through what I missed and you’ve done such an amazing job. I thought the whole build up to the battle was so intense and you really showed how circumstance led them here, and how quickly events spiralled out of control. The battle itself was horrifically vivid and you drove home perfectly how appallingly pointless war is and what a dreadful waste of innocent lives. I particularly loved when you showed us little insights into the characters’ minds and I thought the elves really came across as being not just very capable warriors but truly loyal to each other. I have to go now (sitting in front of a computer is a little uncomfortable!) but I think I’ll have a little cry for Todith, Galelas and Nithron – I feel like I’ve lost some good friends! Oh, and Sinnarn and Ithilden. And Legolas, Eilian and Thranduil…

Anyway, apologies again. I’ll get back on track with reviews soon, I promise:-)


Author Reply: I missed you, Dot! I'm so sorry about the hospital and the surgery and all the nasty stuff. I hope you feel better soon. I thought you were probably away on a fun vacation! :-(

I feel particularly bad about Galelas and have to keep reminding myself that these people aren't real. But you are, and I hope you feel better soon.

tigerlily713Reviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
Great depiction of the battle! The eagles and bear and bats were wonderfully portrayed. I can't wait for more! Lily


Author Reply: Thank you, Lily. As I was writing this, it did seem as if all the creatures of Middle-earth were taking part in the battle. It's the kind of stuff Tolkien was so good at thinking up that just wouldn't occur to me in a million years.

White WolfReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
This was a terrific chapter, definitely one of the most emotional. You described that horrible battle extremely well. Going from one individual battle to another in rapid succession, as well as describing the onslaught of each new wave of the enemy kept me on the edge of my seat, even though I knew the eventual outcome.

I think revealing only Beliond's wound during the battle and then hitting us with Sinnarn's wound and the deaths of Todith, Nithron and Galelas all at once made it all so much more shocking. I wonder how Tinár (too bad it wasn't him instead) will react to his brother's death.

The devastation of the battle, to me, was summed up at the end with Legolas and Eilian crying in each other's arms. I can't wait to see your description of the aftermath.

Author Reply: Thank you, White Wolf. The chapter was hard to write, mostly because the action was so horrible. The general outline of what happened is Tolkien all the way. I just showed it from my characters' points of view. And it's also Tolkien who says that many elves died and few escaped uninjured. So you see that too. By the time I was at the end, I want to cry too!

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
On a lighter note - (sort of) - it sounds really vindictive the way you keep saying 'I really wanted to kill Sinnarn'. What has the poor innocent elf ever done to you!! You can't kill people just because they take up space round the dinner table!

Two more chapters? Aftermath and Returning home? Please. (More if you like.)

Author Reply: LOL. I have nothing against him. I just thought it would dramatic and fitting.

I think I have just one more chapter, but I am bad at guessing how long it will take me to tell my story.

esamenReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
For on the mountain, on narrow paths from its northern side, a second force of Orcs was now streaming, hurling rocks and then descending along the spurs so that now it was Elves, Men, and Dwarves who were caught between two armies.

Oh, Daw! I was SO worried! I was afraid to read to the end of the chapter! And I even knew how the battle turned out! I have to go pull myself off the floor now, drink some water, and wait until my pulse slows down before I can get back to work!

My heart was actually pounding as I read. And you EVIL author woman -- saying in the introduction that someone was going to die -- if you had killed off one of the brothers I would have come up to Iowa and come after YOU. Even losing Beliond would have caused me to take avenging action. Better be careful about what you do to your fan(atic reader)s. You might develop a monster that gets out of control (didn't Mary Shelley do that once? Maybe that's a good idea after all, on second thought).

Well, I am giving you the award for Most Suspenseful Fan Fiction Ever Written. I have never, ever read any fan fic before that made me feel like I didn't know how it was going to end. I think it is because you have created so much of this universe yourself. Fantastic -- Amazing -- what great writing! More, please, after I have a chance to recover!

Esamen


Author Reply: I'm glad I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder to see if you're after me, Esamen! I was constrained in who I could kill by two things. First, I have a story set later (A Question of Duty) in which Annael, Amdir, and Beliond all appear, so they were safe. Second, at the end of "The Hobbit," Thranduil appears to be in a pretty cheerful mood, so I finally decided that none of his sons or Sinnarn had died. Otherwise, Sinnarn would have been a goner.

You are really so kind about this story. I can't thank you enough for telling me how you reacted.

DuchessReviewed Chapter: 16 on 7/8/2004
Oh my, how very, very sad! I'm sniffling here at work, trying so hard not to cry, but it's hard. Too many dead! This is terrible, but battles often are and all our favorites couldn't live through it.

Oh my, are you terribly drained? Considering I am from just reading it, I'm betting you are and need hugs to boot, so here ya go. {{{{{hugs}}}}} Thank you for such an action packed, emotion packed, surprise packed part... even though all surprises were not good.

I'd completely forgotten about Bard being able to do THAT! My little brother is saying, "I told you, he was a Druid!" lol

Well done! You deserve an award, you really do!

Author Reply: Oh thank you! I needed that hug! This was actually terribly depressing to write, and the depression is lingering even today. I just felt so terrible for them all but especially for Galelas. At least Nithron and Todith had long lives. Sigh. I expect Mandos will be kind to them all in the Halls of Waiting. They died heroes after all.

Beorn's ability to shape change is just so strange that it's easy to forget. But Tolkien says he was at the battle in bear shape so there he was.

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