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| Always the Same by Laikwalâssê | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Glory Bee | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 6/11/2012 |
| It was painful to read this account of racially motivated bullying, it is hard as a parent to see your children suffer. Author Reply: you are so right and not even elves are standing above this. Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate it. Lai | |
| gg | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/16/2011 |
| I enjoyed your stories. The life of a child is often not as easy as some think. Author Reply: Hi gg, thank you so much for the review and I´m glad you like my stories and you are so right. The children do not have it easy. Lai | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/1/2009 |
| All too likely all of these would have been the victims of bullying at one time or another; and that this should happen is very realistic, as well as the defiance and refusal to tell. I will suggest that you find a good beta reader, and work on defining your conversations a bit better--each person's addition to the dialogue needs to be in its own paragraph, not two and three statements by different people all in one. Also, you chose the age of twelve for the fight well--a very likely age to be the subject of such attacks; and his reaction is spot on. However, such a child isn't usually a small boy--still a boy and not quite a full adolescent, but usually within eighty to ninety percent of their adult growth. And being son to Aragorn and and a Peredhel, he's probably far taller than average even for a child of twelve. So there are a few things describing the flight in the night that could be refined. I love the story, and the building up of the theme from the two previous incidents to this one. Don't we all love bullies? (NOT!) And the feeling that it is important to deal with the bullies on our own is so realistic! Been there and done that--and come home with my money and candy stolen, once with a black eye, and once with a tooth lost as a result. I'd love to see the story tightened up and properly edited--it has the makings of a good one indeed! Author Reply: Hi Larner, thank you so much for the review. I really appreciat it. I´m glad you liked the story and found it realistic. ..."it has the makings of a good one indeed!", *blush* thank you. As for your advice: I thought that paragraphs change by subject, not by speaker, but, as you know, english is not my first language. The thing with Eldarion you are probably right.He should be much more mature at the age of twelve than other boys his age. Thank you for pointing out this to me and the time ro read and review. Lai Author Reply: Hi Larner, thank you so much for the review. I really appreciat it. I´m glad you liked the story and found it realistic. ..."it has the makings of a good one indeed!", *blush* thank you. As for your advice: I thought that paragraphs change by subject, not by speaker, but, as you know, english is not my first language. The thing with Eldarion you are probably right.He should be much more mature at the age of twelve than other boys his age. Thank you for pointing out this to me and the time ro read and review. Lai | |