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The Enemy Within  by daw the minstrel 6 Review(s)
meckinockReviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/24/2016
Hee, vintage Eilian - clucking at Legolas not go too near the cliff's edge, and then diving straight off it himself. I can't wait to see where this ends up, with Legolas in rationally logical bad-decision mode and Eilian indulging his inner demons at the same time, and the Mannish girl in the mix doesn't bode well either.

Author Reply: Eilian indulging his inner demons

I announced the theme of this story pretty blatantly in the first chapter when Thranduil is hearing a case about two elves behaving badly. He says that if you give in to your worst impulses, you don't need someone from outside to destroy you. Then everyone went on to act it out!

obsidianjReviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/13/2016
Playing with Fire is an apt title. What is going on? These trinkets are definitely not just jewelry. Something else is going on. And why won't Jardin eat? This is the second time you mentioned her looking starved...

Author Reply: The trinkets are a problem, definitely. Let's see how our heroes manage to figure things out.

daw

perellethReviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/12/2016
I'm sorry that it took me so long to review! it's wonderful o be reading another story in this universe, and then from this time, with Turgon Legolas and Annael being their troublesome terrible selves!
Despite the many years between the tales, this fits seamlessly in the period, with Elian getting in trouble whether he wants it or not, and Legolas in that difficult age..They feel the same characters though your writing is somehow livelier and lighter. It's a great story that takes us back to this Greenwood that is still living under a restless peace. What a treat to have you back!

Author Reply: I like writing Legolas at this age. He's old enough to be opening up to the wide world, but still inexperienced enough to be torn between excitement and caution.

If the writing is livelier and lighter, that's a good thing. It feels like I learn to write better only by tiny increments now.

Thanks for the review, Perelleth.

DotReviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/12/2016
I guess all of Thranduil's sons come to realise that when they're quoting their father in their heads they're probably doing something he wouldn't approve of...

Ah, fire jumping! I was wondering what they were heading off to do. Poor Turgon is constantly having his fun spoiled.

Annael had the sense to study a nearby maple as if he'd never seen one before That made me laugh out loud. Of course, Annael is well used to his friends being chastised by some adult or other. I actually always enjoy Legolas' cheekiness with Eilian, even though if I was present I'd probably want to slap him. But it's such a contrast with how he generally is with Ithilden and Thranduil. It's that real sibling thing. And Eilian thinking his little brother is still a baby who isn't interested in girls. Sure, Eilian.

There'd been a girl, though he couldn't remember which one. *snort*

Hmm. Jardin is a bit of a minx. Eilian could do without temptation into recklessness.

I'm looking forward to seeing how everything all comes together :-)

Author Reply: I think it would be hard to have a father like Thranduil. He loves them and pays attention to them (too much so for their taste sometimes) but he's a powerful, towering figure. It would be overwhelming.

Legolas's father and brothers probably thank the Valar on a daily basis for Annael's presence in that little group. Not so much for Turgon. And they all have trouble letting go of the image of Legolas as the baby they're raising. Oddly the one who has the least trouble is Ithilden. He seems to have a more objective picture of little brother.

When I pick myself up from being flattened by current events, I'll get on with the next chapter.

asms2Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/10/2016
Fire jumping! That does sound like something Turgon would want to show off at.

These trinkets that are being dispersed seem to be having some influence on the elves. Between the raft elf incident and all the party goers being a little riled up - it would seem to be connected to the men and these trinkets. I wonder if they are laced with something! And I wonder if there is a bigger angle in place than just selling the the items.

Jardin seems to be flirting with Eilian a bit. haha.

I'm looking forward to seeing what Thranduil thinks of everything! Can't wait to read more!



Author Reply: Fire jumping seemed to me to be something less wise and more dangerous wood-elves would think was fun, especially those like Turgon or Eilian for that matter.

The boys have been out wandering. It's time to take them back to the feast and see what happens.

Thank you for taking the time to review.

PSWReviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/9/2016
Hmm. Looks like someone's switched her loyalties (as it were). This is likely to go over well... Also, Legolas will not be pleased if he finds out Eilian went fire-jumping right after sending them home. :-P By that point, though, it seems no one may be happy w anyone else anymore... I'm curious if Thranduil will manage to stay outside of this tangle...

I would also like to just say ... Anneal's such a good, good kid, and a good friend. Where would Legolas be without him? He has always been one of my favorites. :-)

Thanks so much for writing!

Author Reply: I love Annael. I've always thought it was to Turgon's credit that he chose Annael and Legolas as his friends rather than seeking someone as wild as himself.

I think Thranduil needs to make an appearance in the next chapter and find out what's been going on.

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