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A Father and Son Camping Trip  by daw the minstrel 28 Review(s)
Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/10/2006
As always, a delightful tale, filled with adolescent angst, but served up gently, with both humor and compassion.

Author Reply: Thank you. I find adolescence to be an interesting time to write about because it's so full of both cockiness and vulnerability. Glad you liked it.

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/10/2006
The vision of Beliond 'filthy, frightened and frantic' is such a troubling thought. Seeing his son die, his own young fool, had to be the worst blow he had been expected to survive. How wonderful that Thranduil thought to grant him another young fool.

I like Lalorn and Legolas speaking together, remembering like this. Valinor opens up so many opportunities for new acquaintances and meetings. I would love to have been a butterfly in the tree witnessing this reunion.

Author Reply: I don't even like to think about Beliond watching this boy die at Dagorlad. Thranduil did a good thing for Beliond in making him nana, and he knew Beliond would guard his own cub like a tiger.

ziggyReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/10/2006
Hurray! A really happy ending- and moving- couldnt wait to see Beliond reunited- it has haunted him throughout your stories and its good to get resolution. I love the humour- dumping the tunics in Lalorn's arms when he is, typical of an adolescent, waiting to be waited on! And by Thranduil no less! Yes, I assumed the L was for Legolas but as other reviewers have said, one of your great skills is in the voice of your characters and this was not Legolas but it took a while for me to suss out who it was. And that was good becasue I then went back to read again and the grumpy old git was of course, Thranduil- and it was a nice juxtaposition that legolas would have been saying exactly the same of Beliond.In fact, it was only when Legoals said 'I dont think he ever got over your death' that I knew for sure - I'm a bit slower than other readers obviously!!! It gave me a sort of jolt of realisation adn I liked that. And I LOVE the idea that legolas looked after Beliond!! How will Beliond react when Lalorn says that to him- as he s bound to- yopu kept that voice naive and young as befitting Lalorn. As always, a joy to read and to find this gift for Perelleth- which is a gift for us all - sorry if this is a bit cakey / gooey. Just made me feel a bit teary.

Author Reply: Thanks, Ziggy. The loss of Beliond's family nearly destroyed him. Thranduil tried to bring him back among people by giving him Legolas to care for, but Beliond really needs Valinor and his wife and son.

Yeah, Lalorn somehow thought Thranduil should haul the sweaty tunics, not him. LOL.

That 'jolt of realisation' was supposed to be the pleasure most readers got from this. Well that and the emotional moment at the end. And I guess the humor. :-)

Not cakey/gooey at all. Very welcome, in fact.

Elena TirielReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/10/2006
Oh, Daw, this is terrific! You know how devoted we Beliond fans are.... he and his vocabulary are truly fascinating characters! ;-)

You did a great job of misdirection, there.... I'm a huge fan of your stories, but had forgotten about the sheath.... so I went all the way through to the end before I realized who "L" was! (To tell you the truth, I'm a bit embarrassed that I have such a terrible memory, since I have re-read your stories so many times.....) So, of course, I had to reread it immediately just to make sure I was right. ;-D

BTW, I think there is a HASA challenge that this story would fit very well... let me go look it up..........

Yes! it's called A Tale within a Tale, and I think this story would be a lovely addition.....

Actually, when I first saw the challenge announced, I thought of your story about Beliond and the minstrel's jacket that didn't quite cover his assets..... but I don't remember if you actually mentioned anything that he sung.... oh, wait, didn't he sing something about the woods? Anyway, you might want to consider that one, too.... It would make your fans very, very happy... and Beliond's fans delirious....

Good to see you writing Tolkien again, Daw.... I *always* enjoy reading your stories! *Sigh* I wish I had more time to read, though....

- Barbara



Author Reply: Thanks, Barbara. If I fooled you, I'm pleased!

I have to admit I haven't been over at HASA much lately. I've been concentrating on my original stuff. And then, I don't believe I have many readers there. My stories don't seem to fit with what's mostly in the archive. At least, I don't think they do. It's a nicely supportive site for writers though.

Beliond did sing about the woods in "The Spy." Surprised me by doing it well. :-)

meckinockReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
Blood flowed from the gash in the back of Beliond’s head like juice from an underdone cherry pie.

I expect we'll never have to hear you complain again that you're no good at description, Daw.

What a wonderful tale. Beliond and Thranduil make such a wonderful pair, and I particularly enjoyed bleeding, dripping Beliond. And this line was perfect : You are not the only one Beliond ever called a young fool, Lalorn.”

Indeed not! It is wonderful to imagine Beliond reunited with his son after so long.

Happy Birthday, Perelleth!


Author Reply: I've been using these birthday stories as an opportunity to practice my descriptions because they're short and I know the characters so plot and characterization take less energy. I think that cherry pie one may be over the top but it seemed vivid. :-)

You told me you wanted sweaty, bleeding Beliond, and that was one of the starting points for this 'plot,' such as it was. Glad you liked it.

GwynhyffarReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
I had to laugh at Lalorn having clean stockings because he was wearing the same ones he went there wearing. How typical! ... and Beliond's son calling Thranduil grouchy is like... well... Thranduil's son calling Beliond grouchy. They ALL know from grouchy! LOL

This was a great read and a fun story. I would love to see the expression on Beliond's face when Lalorn is waiting for him on the quay. Of course, I would also like to see the look on his face if he happened to hear of Lalorn thanking Legolas for looking out for him. :D

Author Reply: I was just telling Dot that my son once went camping for a week and changed only one pair of socks period. Everything else he went away in was on his body when he came home.

You'd think Lalorn would find Thranduil a breeze after living with Beliond, but Thranduil and Oropher have just been conferring with the newly arrive Numenorians so he's a little on edge.

I too would like to see Beliond when he spots his wife and son again. Their loss nearly destroyed him. It's good he can start again.

DotReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
Well. This was wonderfully confusing!! I was skimming down through it – could you tell I was reading illegally at work earlier?! – and realised half way down that I had no idea what was going on so I had to go back to the start again. And pretty much remained puzzled for a while! I knew it wasn’t Legolas because it just wasn’t his voice at all. And even though you did sneakily make it seem for a while like Thranduil could be the father, the voice of the narrator seemed unfamiliar to me. So then I suspected what was going on – and the ‘L’ on the quiver pretty much confirmed it for me – but I have to say, it was very odd having him call his father by his name. I was even looking around for a third adult there for a while. That’s the only thing that unsettled me, really, but unless you wanted both Beliond and Lalorn to be a surprise I suppose it was the most clever way of doing it. Such fun figuring out what you’re up to!

And isn’t Lalorn interesting! I did groan at him wanting to shoot the deer. Aren’t they just all the same at that age?! He reminds me of Legolas in lots of ways – but while Legolas could be pretty cheeky, Lalorn’s a lot snarkier! He has a very distinctive voice. I love his sulky attitude towards having Thranduil there :-D Although, I suppose what I really like about Thranduil’s presence is the fact that Beliond felt he needed to be in the forest and dragged him off on this trip. That’s what had me wondering who was who, actually – the reference to being around Men and needing to be in the forest. But that’s because I get confused with timelines and it was a minute before I realised just how far back this is set.

It’s still making me smile to see how amused Thranduil is by his friend’s son. LOL! Even if said son is not too happy about that. But he keeps his thoughts to himself most of the time – so his mother must have as much of an influence as his adar ;-) His mother has definitely done a good job of keeping him in the dark when it comes to some of Beliond’s more colourful expressions. And I had to laugh at Beliond himself trying not to say anything too bad in front of his son – he seems like an elf who’s been told off once or twice!!

Wow, and look what they’ve come across. I was sweating just reading about them trying to get the branches out.

I moved to add mine to the pile, but Thranduil dumped them all in my arms. That might seem like a strange sentence to pick out – but it made me howl with laughter! I love Thranduil in this. And poor hard-done-by Lalorn… He so should have put the tunics in the mud.

Poor Beliond. A head-wound and an unexpected haircut. Lalorn sounds worried, no matter how much he tries to seem like he isn’t. Thranduil, of course, probably isn’t fooled at all and keeps talking to him and giving him jobs to do. I love the little moment where he tells him that he acted quickly and Lalorn brightens under the praise. I always like seeing that tender side of Thranduil when he knows exactly what words, no matter how few, will make the child seem appreciated and respected. And Ireally love how fond Thranduil clearly is of Beliond.

“It is clean,” I said. “I have been wearing the same ones.” ROTFL!!! Of course he has, he’s a boy.

If you stay in its path, you have only yourself to blame. I thought that was quite poignant. I mean, considering that Lalorn will rush headlong into danger from which he can’t escape and Beliond calls him a “fool” for doing it. He was brought up with more sense than that. But then, loyalty and faith and hope are good qualities and those would have played a part in his end too…

And the closing conversation between Thranduil and Beliond was a sobering hint of what’s happening outside this pleasant camp in the forest and a hint of what the future will bring.

The ending is what made me all teary. It’s clear how much Beliond treasured his son – and even though he’s the same Beliond here that we all know, enough about him has changed by the time Legolas knows him that it’s startlingly, painfully clear what the loss of Lalorn, and of his wife, did to him. It’s very touching that Lalorn was worried about him. But how horrible that must have been too. It was a lovely moment when he thanked Legolas. Legolas may not have felt he was looking out for Beliond but he certainly helped him in ways he’s possibly just beginning to understand. I’m glad Legolas and Lalorn got to meet.

Beliond would probably frown and mutter at the thought that they are all worried about him – but I bet he’d secretly be pleased that people are so fond of him and longing so much to see him again. And mostly, I’m just happy that he gets to see his beloved family again and for them all to get a second chance at happiness together.

Marvellous story, daw. I’m sure I’ve left out tons of things I should have mentioned.






Author Reply: I was just telling Jay that it's flattering in a way that I failed to make you think this was Legolas speaking because I'd managed to give Lalorn a distinctive voice. I wrote a bit about him for my own sake before I tried to write this story because I wanted to use first person and to be in his head, I had to know him at least some. I knew he was loyal and brave and not particularly careful because of the way he ended up. But that seemed pretty generic, so what I decided is that he wanted to please but wasn't sure he did because his father is kind of crabby. Also he'd be more prickly than Legolas was. Having Beliond for a father would do that to you!

I knew the fact Lalorn used first names wasn't right but I couldn't see another way to manage things. Nilmandra said I wouldn't fool you for a minute!

This is meant to be set near the very end of the Second Age, after the Numenorians have come to ME and established the kingdoms in the north and south. Men have been to Oropher to tell him what's up. The Last Alliance is only about ten years away. And yes, Lalorn stayed in the path of danger and it ran right over him. Poor Beliond. I could picture how frantic he was during that battle.

The sock thing grows out of my experience with my own son. When he was a bit younger than Lalorn is here, he went camping with his classmates for a week. I packed clothes for the week and when he came back, they were completely undisturbed except for one pair of socks which he'd changed because they'd gotten wet. I was prepared to do laundry and instead I just unpacked everything and put it away. :-)

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
All through this story I was trying to work out who the speaker was. It didn't sound like Legolas, but I knew that Beliond's son was dead - and it seemed too sad if it was him. In fact, it sounded more like Karenator's Daeron than anyone - but that was probably the first person POV.

To see Lalorn reborn, and awaiting his father's arrival in the Blessed Realm, was great. His memories of the camping trip, especially saving his father, were vivid. Thranduil and Beliond were wonderful, as always, and so were Beliond's language lessons.

Happy birthday, Perelleth!

Author Reply: The first person was the only way I had any hope of concealing it was Lalorn instead of Legolas we were looking at. I was trying to fool people, but I also have to say I'm pleased he didn't sound like Legolas. One of the things I've been working on is making the narration sound different if we're in a different person's head, and I guess I succeeded here. I wanted this boy to sound like Beliond's son rather than Thranduil's.

I'm rambling. Thanks for the review, Jay.

AliceReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
Oh Daw. (sigh) That ending was so sweet. I'm glad we all got to meet Lalorn, brave "young fool" that he is. It was also nice seeing Beliond as Adar and Thranduil before he was an adar. Beliond was of course perfectly in character, which is just how we all love him. I'm glad that Legolas found Lalorn in the undying realm and was able to tell him how his father fared.

Author Reply: Glad you liked it, Alice. I know Beliond grieved over Lalorn, but I wondered whether Lalorn worried about Beliond, given that he'd last seen him at Dagorlad. Legolas set his mind at ease, thank goodness.

Thranduil was amused by Beliond's son, far more amused than he sometimes is with his own!

mithwenReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/9/2006
I see you have fooled a lot of people, but I’m afraid I was not one of them. When I read the title, and saw it was a story with Beliond I immediately assumed it was Beliond and his son Lalorn. ;)

I usually don’t read stories using this POV…not sure why
…anyway, in this story however it felt right to see thing through Lalorn’s eyes.
It was a very sweet story. I like Beliond and it was very nice to see him with his son.

Does Maltanaur have any children? Perhaps you’ve mentioned it in some of your stories but I can’t remember…

Author Reply: Ah well, you can't fool everyone!

Maltanaur has a daughter. In "Thranduil's Begetting Day," his grandson is hanging about with Sinnarn, a bit to Maltanaur's dismay.

I don't usually write first person POV either, but using it here was the only way I could hope to fool anyone at all and it was fun to play with.

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