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A White Shell  by Celeritas 47 Review(s)
DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 9 on 1/29/2011
Oh mercy! So much of this to address! You have *really* moved the plot along immensely in this chapter.

I'm glad Kira got angry enough at her mother to tell her at least *some* of what her mother needs to hear-- and the idea that her mother needs to "move on" was something that needed to be said.

I'm also glad she ran to Kerry, and at least got the chance to farewell him. And whether or not it makes a difference to her behaviour, Kira's mother had to be impressed by his concern and care.

The dairy I think will be very important in the long run-- perhaps more important than in just letting Kira see what her father was like. While he might not have shared her interest in scholarly things, I believe he *would* have understood her feelings of being caged and coddled. And it is quite likely that had he lived, Kira would certainly not have been as caged and coddled as happened without him.

Merina's letter was a delight! She does have such a heedless personality-- in some ways she is as oblivious to her effect on other people as Tom is. The difference being that she really does care about Kira's feelings-- she just doesn't know how to express sympathy and empathy without saying all sorts of tactless things at the same time. In some ways she is a more intelligent version of my Folco. At least she can see consequences *after* the fact! And of course, she is such a passionate advocate of Kira that she has to run down anyone who is standing in Kira's way: Kira's mother, even Kerry and Sandra for going along with it...but she's quite funny. And while I think Kira's answer was a good one (and hope it doesn't hurt or anger Merina) I'm kind of sorry that she was reasonable about it, because that means we don't get to see more of Merina's exuberant correspondence.

I loved your version of Eowyn's tale. It looks quite different from the perspective of a young tweenaged female who can see the story from the ending than it did to one male hobbit who had to live through it while carrying on his own part in that portion of the tale.

And the end. LOL! That long ride, that lack of suspicion until she began to realize there could only be ONE smial THAT large! *grin*

Looking forward eagerly for more!



Author Reply: Yup. No coincidence that I was working on this chapter when I mentioned that I just wanted to get the entire story out of my system!

And I think I did mention in response to your last review that there are some things that not even Kira can take, especially when she's been shocked with something like that (expect more of the same next chapter, only hopefully more entertaining!). Anyhow I hope that this is going to lead to some real, lasting change in Rosemary's character.

Running into Kerry was important for a lot of reasons--not only to give Kira some closure, but also because if she hadn't, she'd have kept on trying to talk to him anyway, and he wouldn't have been able to explain why he was going along with the decision to cut Kira. This was, essentially, the part in the narrative where you have to remove those people that the protagonist had been relying on too heavily, to get them to grow up a little more. But don't tell Kira that!

I think you're right about the diary, and that Kira and her father have a lot more in common in their desire to escape than their different means of escape would suggest. I think I got into that a little bit when I was exploring the AU situation in which he had lived.

I love writing Merina, and I loved writing that letter, though at first I was nervous that I was going to make her sound either too mean, or else not flippant enough for Kira to take offense and be justified. And I think Merina sees a number of consequences before the fact as well--she just doesn't care! I do think that Kira's response hurt her (and with Merina, hurt always ends up turning into anger), but how much she'll be able to work through that before the wedding I'm not sure. But even if Merina doesn't show up as often as I'd like, I know that the rumor of her will still manage to get to Kira. She has some pretty good adventures in store!

As far as the end... well, Kira really was quite oblivious, wasn't she?

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 9 on 1/29/2011
Poor Kira--Hal HAS set her quite the adventure, hasn't he? Now she has a lot of talking to do! At least she will have some access to bookish people again, though.

I'm glad she's learned her dad could read and write, even if he didn't read a lot himself.

Author Reply: Yes, he has, and the results should be fairly entertaining when I can manage to put them up. But "literate" does not necessarily mean "bookish," and it remains to be seen how bookish these Tooks are.

Kira did know, or at least guess, that her father was literate because of the note that she found from Aunt Foxglove accompanying her wedding gift for him, and the monogrammed silverware. That's not pure proof, obviously, but it's a good indicator. What was a real surprise was that he left anything written behind at all.

PuddumReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/26/2010
Oh boy, it's been a little while since I got the chance to read this story but I'm glad I've found it again. It's just as engaging and enchanting as the prequel, but now as it's in progress, I can't just plow through it in a matter of days and I actually have to wait for an update-- which I hope comes soon! I can't wait for more of Kira's wonderful renditions of Shire history. As well as the adorable Kira/Tom tension. :P

Author Reply: I'm up in my neck in Yule obligations until the new year, and then we'll see about my starting the next chapter... Believe me, I don't like the delays any more than you do, but I'm a lot busier than I was when I was working on KAtM.

Also, call the Kira/Tom tension "adorable" around either of them and I can't be held liable for any damages they do to you. :P

VirtuellaReviewed Chapter: 8 on 11/14/2010
I was so glad to see an alert for this story, and I was not disappointed. What an amazing story about Fredegar and Jessamine! And then, just when I thought you were winding up the chapter in a leisurely way, you spring this on poor Kira! And there was me thinking that her mother was mellowing a bit...

Author Reply: Thank you so much, Virtuella!!

I was hung up for a long time on what sort of a Fatty story Kira was going to tell (which was part of the long delay for the previous chapter), until the idea for a saner, more hobbity version of the "dead but not really dead" tragedies slipped into my mind. There is something people expect from a story about Fredegar Bolger and I knew Kira wasn't going to tell it!

And goodness, it's been a while since Kira's had this kind of excitement, hasn't it? Quite frankly I don't think Mother's character could actually change by a sort of gradual mellowing--there'd be pushback at some point, or some sort of confrontation, to get everything out in the open. And that's not just because it makes good drama; it's in her character.

Hopefully the twist at the end of this chapter will start to get the wheels of the plot turning just a little bit faster...

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 8 on 11/13/2010
Oh dear. Oh dear. *shakes head*

You know, honestly Rosemary is so pigheadedly determined that she and she alone is right, that she is doing everything she can to drive Kira into the very sorts of things she'd rather prevent.

I know she thinks she's doing what's right for her daughter, but she's not a stupid person-- why this particular blind spot of hers is so hard for her to see through, I can't imagine.

I *wish* Kira was defiant enough to confront her mother outright, instead of allowing herself to be driven to dishonesty.

I fear that one day Rosemary will reap a very bitter harvest.

*sigh*

You know, I really am invested in this story when I can work up this much indignation over a character...


Author Reply: I know. I know. Hobbits can be so stubborn, though, and Kira happens to come from two very stubborn parents, and Rosemary is particularly good at convincing herself that other people (in this case, the Brandybucks) are to blame for tragedies. And I think she's seen the world this way for so long that she doesn't know how to stop, and the fact that she's the only one raising her daughter means that she can't afford to take another perspective.

I wish Kira would let all of this come out into the open, too, but the aftermath of that is so intimidating, and she could have so much to lose by it. She's in a very constrained position in her society, much more constrained than she would be in our day and age, and she doesn't see herself as having much choice, except wait till she's of age.

Which is not to say that Kira will take this particular shock standing down. There are some things that even she cannot put up with.

Be strong as a mountain, Kira, for you have many enemies about you...



I hope you liked the rest of the chapter, though! The one downside to waiting to finish a chapter until after some sort of great game-changing event takes place is that reader reactions to that often overshadow all others!

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 8 on 11/13/2010
That is a horrible bargain for her mother to make! What a terrible thing! Aargh!

I enjoyed the description of the Oak Barrel Inn and the luncheon, and the tale told of Fredegar and his beloved. A horrible fate for her family, though.

Author Reply: I know! I felt so evil posting this chapter!

I'm glad you enjoyed everything else, though. Thanks for the review!

VirtuellaReviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/8/2010
This was all deligthful, but I liked the encounter with the dwarf woman best. The idea of the birth gifts, and what they meant in the decades leading up to the war, was fascinating. And so there's a dwarf philospher in the making? That should be interesting! The dream, as usual, was spot on. Thanks for a great chapter!

Author Reply: The encounter with Asa is probably the favorite thing that I have written this year, so I'm glad you like it!

I only have very vague ideas about her child right now, but he also doesn't need to enter anything I'm writing about the moment. I'm content to let him remain an enigma now.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Your feedback means a lot to me.

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/6/2010
This is a fascinating chapter!

I was in suspense for most of it, in fear that she was going to get caught out, by her mother or someone who'd tell her mother: her time with Kerry, her storytelling, her evening with the Dwarves-- all those things pose a danger to her that a reader just can't forget. And yet I was immensely relieved when no such thing *did* happen. I know it's inevitable, sooner or later, and the later it is the worse it will be-- and yet I'm quite content to see it postponed yet again.

Her story of Sancho was delightful! I love the idea of a secret rebel, sneaking food to the prisoners-- and Sancho is the perfect one for that, as we know he enjoyed digging for treasre at least, from canon!

That the Dwarves enabled her to dance was beautiful! It's so sad that she cannot share that joy with anyone. And the encounter with Asa was very mystical, and filled with foreboding. I also love the revelations about Dwarven culture-- it's so fun to see how people fill in the considerable blanks about Dwarves differently.

As to Kira's dream: I don't think it *was* Tom. Not to begin with anyhow. Hope I'm right.

Author Reply: Today was definitely Kira's riskiest day, but fortunately nothing's happened yet. I think the biggest stroke of brilliance was the dwarves, since Kira would be expected to visit them the next day and now she will be able to be Perfectly Well-Behaved.

I think the Shire had a lot of secret rebels, although many of them were not in the position to be particularly active. Perhaps stretching Sancho's character from one isolated incident in his youth was a little unfair from a canonical perspective, but since he comes out with a better reputation as a result I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind.

And dwarves!!! XD

Honestly, if I wrote dwarf-centric fiction I'd approach the entire species quite differently. But for the purposes of this fiction they needed to fill in this "other" gap, that is so strange and beautiful precisely because it is not Hobbit.

I steadfastly seal my lips concerning Kira's dream. There are a lot of interpretations to it, and not even Kira's sure which one's correct.

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/6/2010
Ah, so there is something there in Tom of Frodo that draws her to him! Perhaps he needs first to awaken to his own special nature before she can open to him fully!

Love the visit with Asa! I'm so glad she was so honored! Perfect!

And I love thinking of Sancho tunneling into the Lockholes to help those who were imprisoned within, and the Hobbit who told him he wouldn't escape at the expense of the rest of the prisoners. Excellent!

Author Reply: I don't know if that's what that dream at the end means--although I do write them intentionally ambiguously. I just don't see the connection to Frodo, and I don't know if the 'draw' is the same.

The visit with Asa is probably my favorite bit in all that I've written of this story so far. In a way, Kira lucked out precisely because the rest of her people are cutting themselves off from the world, but there are a lot in the world who are eager to know at least one of the race that saved them. She could probably go on a tour beyond the Bounds and never have to worry about earning her keep!

And I, too, love the idea of silent heroes within the Shire during the Troubles. It's fun to add the Proudfoots to that list since a lot of authors tend to give them short shrift.

VirtuellaReviewed Chapter: 6 on 1/29/2010
Yay for Merina! Well done, that lass! :D
And yay for me, I've caught up.

As ever, your descriptions of a busy hobbit gathering are wonderful. So much to notice and to consider! Great chapter; I enjoyed it very much.

Author Reply: Merina is probably my second-favorite character to write (after smitten!Tom) because she's such a flaunter. And the Fair scenes are some of the most fun to write, because I can put Kira in contact with people she normally doesn't get to see and because there's so much going on. That's probably why the Fair usually drags out to a chapter a day.

Hooray for catching up!!

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