Pervinca
· 10 May 2004
· Chapter 10: Shadows from the Past
Awww, what a sweet gesture! I can't believe that early during this story, I was debating about whether I liked Lilas or not! There's no doubting it now! She's a sweetheart :P
Poor Pippin - he's always a sufferer of bad judgement. Now are you going to explain Pimpernel's reasons? (or are they obvious, and I'm just too tired to realise it :P)
Should be interesting to see how Lilas takes Pippin's stories from his adventure.
Author's reply
So sorry I didn't reply to this on time--life is crazy this week. Nice, but hectic.
Well...it seems you were a tad weary, but I'll help you out a bit--not your fault, though. I should probably go back and adjust it with a small reminder of chapter three. This is one storyline that lives in my "regular" universe: Pimpernel's husband is killed by Ruffians defending the Smials during the Occupation. So it would be understandable that she is going to have a bit of hatred towards those ruffian malingerers and anything that would remind her of them.
Chapter 11 is up, so that ought to answer your last question! :-) Take care.
Pippinfan
Rosie-Ann
· 9 May 2004
· Chapter 10: Shadows from the Past
Once again, Pippinfan, you blow me away. With just one chapter, no less! *grin* I love how you're developing Pip and Lilas' relationship - it's very believable. A little at a time, one foot then the other, and so on.
I'm not that amazing of a reader, really I'm not. I love to read a good story, and yours have captured my heart! Wonderful, wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without these stories now that I've found them. I finally have something GOOD to read. *grin*
Most sincerely,
~Rosie-Ann, the Hobbit with a love of books.
Author's reply
My apologies for not gettting this reply out to you sooner!
I think that you are--an amazing reader, that is. I have dial up, so I can't sit for too long to read a good story. I read a couple chapters, depending on the length, then I come back at a later time. I like reading books and fan fiction like I watch my movies; in one lump. Alas, until my phone company decides to offer the same services to *all* of it's customers...
As I've said, I have a lot of help with this particular story, and to know that a couple of my tales have captured your heart has rendered me speechless. I've never thought of myself as good writer--halfways decent, perhaps, but never a good one. So that was a pleasant surprise. Thank you for the beautiful compliments, and for taking the time to write them down. I'm off to finish ch. 13... Take care! :-)
Pippinfan
Lily Belladonna Took
· 9 May 2004
· Chapter 10: Shadows from the Past
Hello! This is not only Lily emerging from lurkerdom but a (get this!) a signed review! They said she would never remember to sign in, but she did! *Heroic music plays*
Ahem. I really like what you've been doing with the last few chapters -- a slowly warming friendship and some detail about the Quest (poor Razar!). The bit about the penny game was very interesting -- how both Razar and Pimpernel could have such differing sides, both of them right.
One small critique that may just be a typo.
“As I said,” Pippin smiled for affect, “smoke rings, pints, and apples.”
Affect = verb (i.e. to have an influence upon, as in "His words deeply affected me."
Effect = noun (i.e. "The words' effect was instantaneous.")
Effective = adjective (i.e. "Giving the Ring to Sauron would not be an effective way of forcing him to free his slaves.")
So it ought to be: "Pippin smiled for effect"
I realize you probably knew all this, but the difference between "effect" and "affect" is so often messed up that I thought I'd better tell you just in case.
I like the line, though.
Thank you for updating so quickly (honestly, I don't know how you do it), and I look forward to the next part!
Author's reply
Yes, I know the difference--and that's what makes it so embarrassing! lol...oh, well. I will correct it--and thank you for pointing it out to me. I'm a stickler for using the correct verbage myself, but after reading, rereading, and yet a couple more reads, sometimes (as Pearl says) my brain automatically inserts what is *supposed* so be there, while the incorrect word is the word in print. I hope that made sense.
Thank you for the feedback on the chapters--also, for taking the time to login and leave a *signed* review! :-) Thanks, Lily!
Pippinfan
Bluegrass Elf
· 9 May 2004
· Chapter 10: Shadows from the Past
Awww. How cute. My dad wrote a song about pitching pennies.
Author's reply
Then I take it that you aren't the only artist of words in your family? ;-)
I remembered the game from Junior High School; in the parking lot the boys would sally up to the brick wall and pitch whatever coin was chosen. I used to practice off to the side by myself--I wasn't too bad at it. Thanks for reading!
Pippinfan
Rosie-Ann
· 8 May 2004
· Chapter 9: Discovering
Wow, this is such a wonderful piece! You've developed your characters and written them believably, and made me want to read more! It's wonderfully written, and please continue! *hugs Pippin*
~Rosie-Ann
Author's reply
I continue to be amazed at a reader's response. I knew this would be a difficult piece for some to read, but the responses that I *have* gotten have been wonderful. Thank you for your compliments; I, in turn, thank Pearl Took and Mysterious Ways for all their assistance and editing. Thanks for taking the time out to leave a review--I appreciate it very much! I hope to post another chapter either tonight, or tomorrow morning. Thank you again! :-)
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 8 May 2004
· Chapter 9: Discovering
You know, I must have forgotten when you were setting this story, and so never thought about how Pippin's experiences from his journey might affect his marriage! Thus, this chapter war a surprise - but a very pleasant one.
By the way, I think you're still managing to insert a couple of light-hearted (if not quite comical) moments into this story. The beginning of this chapter, with Pervinca and Lilas was a perfect example!
Now, how is Pippin going to explain his nightmares to Lilas, I wonder...
Author's reply
And your continual reviews are pleasant ones, too! Thank you, Pervinca! Well...light-hearted is okay...I just don't want any belly-laughter between the two--they're still resenting their situation, and still very much strangers. Hobbits, as you already know--because you write your lovely hobbits with humnor, too, have an inherent abilitiy to smile and laugh at simple jests. I'll make certain to keep them simple! :-) Pippin is still uncomfortable with talking about the dark stages of his Journey...we'll see what he does in the coming chapters... Thanks again, Pervinca!
Pippinfan
Dreamflower
· 7 May 2004
· Chapter 9: Discovering
I had avoided this story for a little while, two reasons, I was a little uncertain about its AU premise, and I wasn't sure I could visualize Pippin in such a situation. But I've liked all your other stories so...
I have to say I'm impressed. The way in which the hobbits handle the situation is very true to the type of rural culture the Shire is. A "shotgun wedding", a father disowning his daughter; yet also, you have shown the hobbity quality of "pity" which was what Gandalf loved about hobbits. Pippin's family is making every effort to have Lilas feel like a part of the family, even though they would not have wanted this for Pippin.
This last chapter in particular is wonderful. I had wondered how soon Lilas would discover Pippin's troubled sleep, and what would happen when she did.
Hopefully explanations will be forthcoming.
Author's reply
I'm still staggered by all the response. I know you try to avoid unfinished stories, so your response is especially appreciated. Roses (as I've come to call it) has been absorbing a lot of my time of late, so as I get time, I need to catch up with my reading with you and a few other authors. I see you posting to Reckoning almost on the hour (yes, I'm jesting) and I'm so jealous. This is one story I don't want to rush, and poor Pearl and Myst keep pulling me back each time I want to jump into hyperspace with the tale. Those ladies are fantastic--and great writers (like you) in their own right.
I'm glad you see the pity coming through--I'm sorry to say that I initially didn't write it like that, but my co-authors made me see the true light, thus, I saw my errant ways. So yes, I now do believe Pippin, being the educated one--and just by his nature, would have pity on Lilas.
As I'm writing this, I'm having thoughts about chapter eleven...so before it runs away, I must write it down...(embarrassed). Thank you soooo much, Dreamflower, for taking time to read Roses, and give a little feedback as well. Take care. :-)
Pippinfan
Bluegrass Elf
· 7 May 2004
· Chapter 9: Discovering
Very nice!
Author's reply
Thank you very much! :-) And thank you for taking the time to review!
Pippinfan
Pearl Took
· 5 May 2004
· Chapter 8: Settling In
This is so wonderful. I love the scene with Pippin and his Mum!
Pearl Took
Author's reply
Thank you--after all, you helped! :-) I enjoyed writing that scene as much as you enjoyed reading it! Take care & catch ya later.
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 5 May 2004
· Chapter 8: Settling In
Aww! I *loved* this chapter. Especially the ending. He's beginning to learn. I suppose little Brody is helping there. It's actually quite funny - I warm up to people fairly well, just like Pervinca did in this story! Of course, other times I can be a complete b*tch, but I guess that wouldn't really help your plot in any way :P
Author's reply
Where else could this happen? I'm online in the morning, you're online in your evening... I'm writing an email *to* you while a review pops up *from* you. All for the price of a local call...for me, anyway!
That is nice--how she warms up to folks, though I've never really written her as a biotch (as my niece, Katie, calls it). She could be quite bossy with Pippin when they were young children, but as they've become close over the years, she's laid that part of herself aside...to some degree. Hey, we're all b**ches at varying times of the month! Take care!
Pippinfan
Mistress Holblyta
· 4 May 2004
· Chapter 8: Settling In
This chapter was absolutley gorgeous! ^^ I loved seeing how Lilas and Pippin both deal with their first day as a married couple. To see Lilas in such need for approval and to see Pippin dreaming of becoming as good of a father as Paladin were both heartbreaking scenes. The tension is very realistic, but like you said, I see Pippin's compassion coming through soon. I also enjoyed the interaction between Merry and Pippin - I can actually see the age difference between them through Merry's maturity about the whole thing. Great job! Can't wait for more!
Author's reply
Why thank you, Mistress Holblyta! Encouragment like this goes a long way. Lilas seeks approval because she rarely felt it at home or while growing up. I'm trying to portray her parents as the bad side of hers and Pippin's situation. Lilly and Silas may have been in love at one time, but it waned over the years, and that sort of cold relationship between parents can have a deep affect on the children. Pippin and Lilas may not (or ever?) love each other, but with a whole family to love and dote on the baby, he/she may not be affected that way. Thank you for taking the time to read Roses and leave a response--much appreciated! :-)
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 4 May 2004
· Chapter 7: Beginnings
Oh, hurray! I made a cameo. :P Glad to see that *someone* is finally going to tell poor Lilas about the wonders of nature, and the birds & the bees. No wonder she managed to get herself into this mess! Perhaps, with his sisters warming to her, at least a little, Pippin might start to like her a little more. Maybe? :P
I like Rosebud as a name (I thinks it's fair to assume you've at least decided on what sex :P). It's not a name that I've seen used in a story before, and it has a nice ring to it. Plus, Rosemary is a name I'll always associate with Fredegar's daughter (that's what I named her :P), and love interest of Pippin Gamgee :D
Author's reply
Shhhh! lol...You weren't supposed to answer that here on the public veiwing site! Oh well...it's inevitable. I like that you named Freddie's daughter Rosemary--it's such pretty and overlooked name...like Rosebud. Personally, my favorite flowers are roses. All kinds--can you tell? Take care.
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 2 May 2004
· Chapter 6: Many Meetings
Oh, you're still making me feel even more sorry for your little OC. I hope Pippin will warm up to her eventually! Have you thought up a name for the bub yet? The wedding is sure to be an interesting event. Just as a matter of interest (because I'm too lazy to work it out by myself :P), are you setting this before or after Sam and Rosie's wedding? Because I can imagine that Sam is not going to be particularly pleased with young Peregrin. Frodo neither.
Author's reply
This is definitely set up before Sam's wedding; he gets married on May 1. Pippin and Lilas had their little tryst the night of the Battle of Bywater; Nov. 3. at the time of the wedding, Lilas is almost 2-1/2 months pregnant. Their wedding takes place on Jan. 12. Paladin is not about to wait until May. No one is particularly pleased with Pippin's judgment, but of course, they still love and support him. I have two names I've settled on; Rosebud and Rosemary. I'm leaning towards Rosebud. What do you think? Ah...the question of the day...Will Pippin ever warm up to her? Stay tuned...
Take care,
Pippinfan
Grey Wonderer
· 1 May 2004
· Chapter 6: Many Meetings
This is very sad and realistic. Even sadder since Pippin's coming into his own as a knight of Gondor has been tarnished by this since he was in uniform at the time. It's not like any of your other fiction and it shows your ability to write in a different style. Merry is the only character that seems like the Merry in your other stories. This must have been very hard for you to write. I have trouble seeing Pippin in this fashion, but enjoyed the hobbit signature section as I remember it so well from Tolkien. Such a formal folk in their own way, Hobbits.
Author's reply
Yes, this story is very sad; life was not meant to be this way for either of them. I understand a lot of folks have difficulty seeing Pippin in this fashion, which makes makes me appreciate your review--and others--so much more.
Thank you for the compliment that this isn't like my other fics; I didn't want it to be. As I mentioned in the AU warning, *my* (our!) normal Pippin would *not* get in this sort of trouble. I liked adding the signature part as well. After musing on it, I remembered that Pippin and Lilas weren't of age yet, so they couldn't even sign the certificate for their own wedding. They could sign, but it wasn't a legal signature. Take care, Grey Wonderer!
Pippinfan
melilot_hill
· 1 May 2004
· Chapter 6: Many Meetings
Another three great chapters. First I only felt sorry for Pippin. But now I feel sorry for Lilas too. Poor girl, left all alone. At least Pippin has some support from his family.
Author's reply
Thank you, Melilot, for taking the time to review! I appreciate all of them.
Poor Lilas has had it hard recently, but will things improve for her? Will Pippin ever warm up to her? Questions, questions. Stay tuned! :-)
Pippinfan
Mistress Holblyta
· 30 April 2004
· Chapter 6: Many Meetings
I've been reading stories on this site for a few months now, but I've been (I'm ashamed to say) a little lax on leaving reviews. This is my first one. :) I could not help but review this story! I've often wondered what would happen if any of the hobbits had pre-marital relations because, like most of us, it’s hard to imagine it happening. I've always believed that the hobbits are a very innocent people, but it is interesting to explore the possibilities. They can be seduced (Frodo by the power of the Ring for example) Why not by a lass?
You have done a wonderful job writing this story. Not only is it believable, but you've managed me to feel sympathetic towards Lilas, which I definitely did not feel at first. You’ve brought her from what seemed to be a deceptive and conniving tramp to a naive young, lower class girl trapped in a dire situation. Abandoned by her family and forced to marry an angry and distraught Pippin who will barely speak to her. I, of course, sympathize with Pippin, as I’ve always adored him. I see so many possibilities for these two! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
Author's reply
My apologies for not replying sooner; busy Saturday trying to keep up with writing Roses. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to review--I know it can be difficult to review if you have wee ones of your own, but it is very much appreciated! :-)
It's amazing how many folks like Lilas--and it's a good thing. An uneducated Lilas was fed a bunch of malarkey by her friend, and she believed it. This happened a lot when I was young and going to school (not to me, though!). Pippin is understandably angry and distraught, but the question is, does he stay that way? Will he allow his circumstances to control his demeanor? I see many possibilities, too! Stay tuned...
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 30 April 2004
· Chapter 5: Facing the Future
I've been very busy the past few days with my exams, and now I have to catch up on all the stories I missed reading! lol You almost had me crying during this chapter. I feel so sorry for Pippin! I was beginning to dislike Lilas, and believing that she had seduced our Pip and it was all her fault. But then, with this chapter, I started to feel sorry for her! The poor girl's not to blame; she didn't know any better. Please continue soon :)
Author's reply
Hello, Pervinca! You poor lass! Exams your first week back at school! I know they'll all come back with As! ;-)
Wow...that's a feat, nearly making someone cry over an original character (who will only be written in this one story!). I can tell you, it puts a bounce in my step. I'm glad you feel sorry for Pip, and it's easy to because we all love him dearly. But we all know it takes two to dance the Springle-ring! Sure she's to blame--and so is he. Alcohol has a way of clouding our judgment; making us do things we would not normally do, but we are all concious of *what* we're doing. It just takes a LOT of willpower to turn the wheels and say 'no'.
More reply than you bargained for, eh? (wicked laughter) Thank you for taking the time to read Roses and review! Good luck on your exams!
Pippinfan
Lily Took
· 28 April 2004
· Chapter 5: Facing the Future
When I first saw your story, I got to the warning and stopped. I've always been a huge proponent of the innocence of hobbits, and the idea of any hobbit, especially one in the quintet (Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Bilbo), having premarital relations is to me both repulsive and completely out-of-character.
Unfortunately, I have this hugely inquisitive streak, sparked by your author's note of how you didn't usually imagine Pippin in this situation either, but wanted to see how he'd react. I managed to hold off for a while, telling myself I still didn't want to read it.
Then I started to dream about it. I kid you not. My subconcious must have investigated thirty different theories of how you might have fashioned the story, the circumstances, etc. etc. I finally gave up and just read the story.
Wow.
You are very talented. You have a deep understanding of the characters themselves, and I honestly haven't read anyone else whom I would trust to portray such an unlikely situation character/culture-wise and keep everyone in character. I find myself checking at least once a day to see if there's an update. I still don't think Pippin would have gotten into this particular mess (and you don't seem to either), but if he did, this, to my mind, is exactly how he'd act. Lilas is very well-developed, and even as her actions . . . earlier . . . anger me, I can't help but like her.
Your language and dialogue is excellent -- Pippin's line “But I don’t love her, Merry. I don’t think that marriage is the answer; I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love.” is especially poignant and has clung to my mind since I read it.
I suppose, however, that you want constructive criticism. The one place that really sticks out was your use of "moseyed" to describe Lilas's walk to the wardrobe. You might want to replace it with a word such as "wandered" or "meandered" -- moseyed is usually associated with cowboys casually sauntering over to a bar/house, and it threw me off for a minute.
Hmm. I think that's all for now. Thank you very much for an interesting and thought-provoking piece, and I look forward to the next part!
May the Shire be with you!
--Lily
Author's reply
It's rare that I receive a reiview such as this. I'm stunned. It wouldn't matter if it was from Roses or Rags (another research story), when I get a response like yours, it makes all the sweat and research worth it. I'd do it anyway, though, because I love hobbits. Especially Pippin and Merry. Like you, I'm a firm believer that they waited, but there was something in me that wanted to explore and express the trials, and rare joys of being a parent--or spouse--too soon in life. I am also using this journey to see how tweens react having spousal responsibilites thrust upon them as well. As Pimpernel said, will his jovial spirit rise to the occasion? How do they cope with each other, and how will they cope with a wee one? Hmmmm. Questions to explore.
Thank you much for the feedback on 'mosey'...I didn't see the relation when writing it, but now that you've said something, I can't separate them. :-) I will adjust that word; 'wandered' seems good.
Again, thank you for your amazing response. Take care.
Pippinfan
Pervinca
· 25 April 2004
· Chapter 3: The Summons
And here I was thinking the mother was going to be Celandine! Using your own character, Lilas, makes it a lot more dramatic I think, considering her family status. I can imagine that if Pippin had ever managed to knock Celandine up, the families would have simply covered it up, but I really don't know what will happen this time!
And poor Robin! I never thought of having him as one of the victims of the Battle of Bywater. I suppose that gives a good reason for Sam to name one of his children Robin.
You had better continue soon :)
Author's reply
Thanks Pervinca! I considered Celandine or Myrtle when the idea was just starting to tumble in my head, but dropped them for the very same reason you just stated. Using an OC allowed me to mold and shape her, and bring her to the point of luring Pippin into the woods. Yes...poor Robin--Sam *did* name one of his children Robin, didn't he? hehehe I only just noticed that!
Thanks, Pervinca, for reading and taking the time to review! You're a gem! Oh, no--that's Pearl, isn't it? Your a true flower! :-)
Pippinfan
melilot_hill
· 24 April 2004
· Chapter 3: The Summons
I agree with you that getting a girl pregnant before marriage is not really a "Pippin thing". But I am enjoying this story and I really want to find out more.
Author's reply
My apologies for not responding sooner--family came to visit yesterday. I want to sincerly thank you for your kind response to Roses. This truly is a departure from my normal Pippin...I simply wanted to tell a story about heavy responsibilities thrust upon nice, and unwary lads and lasses. I thought that Pippin was a good candidate for such...things. Merry, Frodo, and Sam would have been far too responsible for such behavior. My normal Pippin would not be so gullible, either. Thank you again for reading Roses and taking the time to review--it is much appreciated. :-)
Pippinfan