Chapter 16: Permission
"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"
Estella smiled warmly, placing a hand on her brother's arm. "Thank you for the offer, Freddy, but I'd rather stay home. Aunt Corilla says she'll send Nemesia to check in on me."
Fredegar frowned then went on, trying to convince her. "Mel would like to see you."
"Mel would like to see you," Estella replied frankly. Since they had the talk about why they did what they did during their father's illness, Estella and Fred had grown closer than they had been since their tweens. "Let me get your provisions for the road."
Fred watched her go to the kitchen. He fiddled with the latch of his travel bag for a moment. When he glanced up, something white near the couch caught his eye. Fred stretched over, and picked it up. It was an envelope with the Brandybuck monogram on the sealing wax. At first, he thought it to be a letter from Mel that he had misplaced. Turning it over, the name was not Melilot Brandybuck, but Meriadoc Brandybuck. It was addressed to Estella.
Fred's interest was piqued. Estella didn't talk much about Merry or Pippin, but when she did, it was fondly, as if they had become very close. The fondness for either of them was different though. With Pippin, she talked about him more like a younger brother or even as her own child. With Merry, there was a gleam in her eye that Fred had never seen before. He hadn't asked about her feelings for Merry. It was hard enough talking to her about his own love. Maybe it was just a friendly letter to say how everything was going in Buckland. Taking the risk of Estella catching him halted Fred's hand on the seal, but his need to know what kind of letter it was pushes him to open the envelope.
He quickly pulled out the letter and began to read:
My dearest Estella,
It has been two months since we last saw one another. It still feels strange glancing at the chair beside my desk and not seeing you there. I have written two more sections of...
Fred skipped to the bottom as Merry went on to write something about different kinds of balm herb.
Please write back soon. Every letter I receive from you gets me through another week of being away from you. I look forward to looking beside my desk and seeing you there. To touch your face and hold you and know you'll be here always.
Your beloved,
Merry
Fred stared at the letter, dumb struck. Merry loves her. She must love him in return if she is writing him as well. Footfalls were coming, and Fred quickly stowed the letter and envelope in waistcoat pocket.
"Here you are, Freddy," said Estella, holding out a small travel bag full of bread and apples and sliced cheese.
He accepted the bag without emotion. "Thank you. Um, I must be off now."
"Have a safe journey!" Estella followed him to the door as Fred hurried out to the stable, the letter stowed in his waistcoat pocket.
***
"How could you, Meriadoc Brandybuck?"
Merry turned from brushing his pony to see Fred approaching him, throwing his weight side to side.
"How could you?" Fred repeated, strangely resembling Estella for a moment.
"What are you talking about, Fredegar?"
"Unless there is another Meriadoc scurrying around Buckland, I assume you sent this to my sister."
Merry took the folded letter that Fred shoved under his nose, and skimmed over it.
"Where did you get this?"
"I found it on the floor of my smial. Have you and my sister been carrying on behind my back?"
Merry tried not to laugh at the expression on Fred's face. He was acting the part of big brother so well. "Do you not approve of mine and Estella's courtship?"
"It's not that I do not approve, but you have not asked my permission to court her. I don't even know how long this has been going on."
Merry frowned. Yes, it would have been right to ask permission before starting his courtship with Estella, but he'd forgotten after all that went on. "I'm sorry, Fred. It's just, it happened so suddenly. Estella and I had grown very close, and I didn't realize how close until I desired to marry her."
Fred's eyes grew wide. "You wish to marry her? How soon?"
"If she were here before me, I would not wait another moment to take Estella's hand in marriage," Merry replied with all the vigor and passion that he had hidden in his heart for so long. He stared intensely into Fredegar's eyes. "I love her, Fred. More than I could ever proclaim."
It was a long, tense moment before Fred replied, "I can see my reflection."
Merry's face contorted in confusion. "What are you-?"
"I can see my reflection in you," Fred continued. "The way you speak of Estella, is the way I think of Mel. I understand what you mean, Merry."
Relief washed over Merry, and his face brightened. "Then may I ask her hand in marriage?"
"Stella was happy at Crickhollow," Fred began, eyes averting sadly to the ground. "I did not want to admit it, but she was. She speaks so fondly of you. I thought she was mad to stay there and be like a maid to you. But she was no maid, was she? She was friend, and you were to her. As much as it pains me to let her go again, I want Estella to live her own life. Go retrieve her, Merry, and make her your bride."
Merry's mouth hung open slightly then he shook his head and threw his arms around
Fred's neck. "Thank you, Fredegar!"
"What are you waiting for, Merry?" asked Fred, pulling away. "Your pony is fed and groomed. I have a travel bag of provision here. If you leave now, you'll make it there right before dusk."
"Will you tell Pip where I'm going?"
"Of course!"
A brilliant smile crossed Merry's lips. Estella's face, soft and beautiful, played in his mind. He could feel her touch, warm and inviting, on his skin. He mounted his pony with not a minute to spare and dashed off to the Brandywine Bridge.