Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 8: Sparkling
Uh-oh. I see I was right about Ganelon. I hope Pip's brother-in-law doesn't give him as much grief as I'm afraid of.
That said, I liked the Fair. Very nicely done! And I was glad to see the old Pippin back, though it was a shame Merry didn't unbend enough to accomadate him.
There was a time when Merry would not have needed much urging to go play with his Pip.
Author's reply
Well, Merry did eventually find time to play with Pip: they wandered around to a lot more games in between that strong man contest with Bert and the time when Pippin and Diamond played the ring toss game with the bottles. And the "old" Pippin got a well-deserved, relaxing holiday at the Fair -- which I am glad you liked. Am looking forward to my own trip to my State Fair in a couple of weeks.
As for Ganelon, we shall see what grief he causes. I will say that every single subplot I am so far aware of in this story made an appearance in this chapter.
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
Goodness! I love this. Finally some signs of spunk from our Diamond! I really like how you portrayed this little episode, with the hints of Pip's past health problems, without dwelling overmuch on them. And the healer giving Diamond the hobbit equivalent of Harlequin Romances--how funny! I only hope they are explicit enough to do her some good.
One thing--when she finally finds out, isn't she going to be resentful of her mother, and Pip and the healer for not telling her the truth to begin with? She's bound to feel they've made a fool of her.
Author's reply
I'm glad you like it. Of course, her spunk comes in the form of arguing with her mother-in-law, LOL. I like the universe in which Pippin has had bad health throughout his childhood -- there were some hints of that in the flashbacks in Chap. 2, too -- but if I went into full details, it would have just taken over the chapter.
Glad you like the "Harlequin" (Hobbiton?) romances,too. As for how Diamond is going to feel, I think that's up to her. We have to be careful about assuming the way we would react to something is how somebody else is going to feel.
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 6: Color
So her first encounter with Pippin's night terrors. Mild, though. What's it going to be like when he approaches one of the anniversaries, and has some really serious ones?
As I thought, Pippin is not happy with her kowtowing to him. He's going to have to go some to get her to open up about her own feelings. She's been too thoroughly indoctrinated.
Author's reply
Yeah, he's also grumpy because he hasn't been getting any sleep and is taking on more of his father's duties since Paladin isn't feeling well.
<> Remember how you thought Paladin's instructions to Diamond's father were ominous?;)
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
I love this chapter. Very full of old-fashioned details, about servants and so forth. Well-done; you must have done a lot of research.
And Pimmie's married to *that* Everard! I had forgotten that this version of Everard was yours; I like this very much. I wonder, though, what Paladin and Eglantine thought of her making a match with the "slow" hobbit--whether they would have worried about future children, etc.
Author's reply
Thank you, I like this chapter, too. And I have done a lot of research for this story (there will likely be a bibliography in the author's notes at the end), although not specifically on servants, I have to say. That comes more from other books I have read, and tours I have taken of 19th century mansions -- where I saw things like that bell setup that I thought was so cool.
I'm glad you like Nellie and Everard's love story, too. I'm sure Paladin and Eglantine had a chat with her about it, but this match occurred before the evil events of 1419, and she was in love with him and he with her, so they did not feel they could object to a marriage she chose for all the reasons she tells Pippin in the chapter. You notice she does just have the one child, though, and that's all she's likely to have.
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 4: Marquise
Uh-oh! Diamond's brother is named Ganelon. Is that deliberate that he has the same name as Roland's betrayer?
I'm so glad to see protective Merry back; and I think that Diamond's over-submissiveness is going to cause some problems. Pip's not one to care for someone fawning over him.
Author's reply
Protective Merry is really hard to keep away from his Pippin.:)
Hmm...Diamond's brother being named Ganelon...Roland's betrayer...her father named Gerin...Pippin's pony named Sorrel...Diamond thinking Pippin's tall and strong and possesses more noble virtues than she'd ever be able to describe...hmm, nope, don't know what you're talking about, la-la-la-la...(cough. evil grin).
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 3: The Hardest Matter
Oh goodness! What a chapter! I'm so glad you had Merry make it up with Pip. I hate stories where one of them getting married makes them estranged for years. I do have my credulity strained just a wee bit by the lass's mother apparently never telling her the facts of life--after all producing an heir is a prime duty of a Thain's wife, but I assume it's a necessary plot point, so I'll overlook it. I very much like your portrayal of Pip's gallantry on thier wedding night, knowing that there will be those snooping through the sheets for proof of consumation. On to the next chapter...
Author's reply
I just can't see Merry and Pip being estranged for years--although I don't think they necessarily agree on everything all the time, either.
Yeah, I personally don't think Honeysuckle did a great job with that aspect of Diamond's "training" either, but she may have her reasons...and you are right that it is a plot point.:) Also, it does provide a good means for Pippin to be gallant, as you put it, even if he doesn't necessarily know what his newly-met wife doesn't know.
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 2: Betrothal Tradition
I like how much of this was flashback to happier times. It made the betrothal seem even gloomier than before. Pip's response to the cords, and the reminder of his orc captivity was well-done, as was his father's reaction to it. I hope I'm not reading anything ominous into Paladin's last words to Pips new father-in-law.
Author's reply
I'm glad you liked the flashbacks, and the contrast to the sunnier days vs. the gloomy winter evening betrothal. (And I finally got to write my "imprinting the foot in the Yellowskin" scene. Yay!) Paladin's last words...depends on your definition of ominous, I guess.;)
Dreamflower
· 15 August 2004
· Chapter 1: Healing the Long Cleeve
Oh my! An arranged marriage. Your take is certainly interesting. I have seen other fics where Pippin and Diamond have an arranged marriage. But this seems just a bit different. I do like that it is portrayed as uncommon and unusual. I would hate to think of this as something often done in the Shire.
Author's reply
Yes, part of the idea behind this fic is to do a slightly different take on things than what else is out there. And it is fairly unusual in my Shire -- but so were many things that happened during and as a result of the War of the Ring.
Ariel
· 14 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
OOooo! Looks like Diamond is getting closer to giving me my wish! Hehehehe... Actually it will be very nice to see her develop into the wife Pippin deserves. Bravo - well done and engaging story! Thank you!
Author's reply
Thank *you* for such kind reviews! :)
As for wish fulfillment, you'll just have to wait and see -- although your comments did lead to some speculation on a totally inappropriate for this venue additional and/or alternate chapter.;)
Alayna the Tallest Hobbit
· 10 August 2004
· Chapter 6: Color
Oh dear, I can see why Pippin was so frustrated about Diamond's favorite color. He just wants to be her friend and she just trying to be pleasing in every way. I liked it when Pip decided to be a "more observant Hobbit". I hope they will be able to talk like two normal Hobbits soon. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Alayna
P.S. How's your cold? Are you better? (I'm on the PippinHealers group, in case you wondered). :)
Author's reply
Yes, they're still a bit at cross-purposes as they try to please each other. Glad you liked him vowing to be a more observant hobbit; I liked his line about other hobbits saying it's a good thing she's fond of nuts, myself.;)
For those who really want to know Diamond's favorite color, it's a minor element of Chap. 8 -- a part I just finished writing tonight, and am hoping to have the chapter complete and ready to post some time next weekend.
My cold is much better, except for the occasional lingering cough. Thank you for asking. (And I sort of figured from that question that you must be on the group.;) )
Bodkin
· 10 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
Mills and Boon - very UK - used to be generic romance novels of a kind so similar they became known by the publisher's name rather than by author. Full of lantern-jawed broad-chested heroes rescuing delicate females from peril / falling in love / being divided / being reunited - but always concluding with them falling into each other's arms. Diamond wouldn't learn much practical information from them! I believe they now incorporate more action, but I couldn't bring myself to read one to find out!
It would be difficult to broach the subject with Eglantine - but sooner or later she will pick up on the idea that Diamond does not understand the tea time conversation that always seems to happen in female society. Or maybe Diamond will sit there sipping at her rosehip tea, listening agog to the bedroom revelations woven round the arrival of somebody's baby.
Author's reply
Hmm. Doesn't sound like the type of books I'll be going out of my way to read any time soon, either. In the U.S., the stereotypical romance novel publisher would be Harlequin: paperback books frequently sold at grocery stores and other non-bookstore outlets, with covers which generally feature a muscular man with his shirt half off holding a woman who appears to have just swooned into his arms. Can't say I've read more than maybe one or two of those, either, although they are in part what Willow's book collection is based on: note the tattered covers denoting cheap bindings. ;)
I'll let you keep speculating on what direction you think Diamond's education is going to take. (evil grin)
Alayna the Tallest Hobbit
· 9 August 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
Loved "Nellie's Song", very creative. Too funny about Pippin running out of corners to fill! I wonder how much he actually ate...probably something akin to Thanksgiving dinner, I know I always stuff myself. I'm glad Pip treats the servants as equals, it fits his personality perfectly. If I think of something more to add, I'll be back.
Alayna
Author's reply
Oh, yes, the food scenes definitely found influence and inspiration from Thanksgiving dinners, as well as those "all you can eat buffets" where you just feel like you have to get your money's worth...sigh. Glad to know you found the humor in it. :) I'm glad you like the way he treats the servants as well. I think part of that is the influence of his friendship with Sam.
As for Nellie's song, I looked for an appropriate song first to adapt first, and then came up with her nickname backwards from that. (The second verse of "Darling Nelly Gray" is actually very depressing; it makes clear that the character in the song is a slave who has been sold away from her true love. I didn't know that before I started the research, and I can assure you that *that* sort of thing won't be happening in my hobbit fiction!)
Alayna the Tallest Hobbit
· 9 August 2004
· Chapter 4: Marquise
Just one more thing...I loved the way you protrayed Sam and Rosie in the last two chapters. I can just see Sam being hesitant to sign the yellowskin...well let's just say I think you've got his charater down. Sam happens to be one of my favorites and I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed him. I hope he shows up in the story again. Alayna
Author's reply
Thank you so much. I'm quite fond of Sam as well. Of course, as this is a Pippin story, it will focus mostly on his character, but Sam will show up at least a couple more times. (And, as a treat for your comment on Sam and Rosie, here's what she said to him in the Thain's office -- she told me after the chapter was already written;) -- "Samwise Gamgee, a hobbit who's to be Mayor of the Shire oughtn't to stand there gapin' like that, especially when his lass is wantin' feedin', as you know right well.")
Kriszta
· 9 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
Poor little, naive girl... though it's hard for me to imagine how she can have so little knowledge about the "birds and the bees", since she has grown up in the countryside, among cats, dogs and other animals... or was she severely sheltered in their smial and always trained? Anyway, this way we can get a brilliant story about getting that knowledge, although I am wondering what is she going to do with the newly gathered information... :)
Up until this point I din't love this Diamond: so reserved, with so little emotion, always trying to please her new family with her doing, her personality pushed into the background. But now she is getting to warm up, and I started to pity her. She is so alone, and she knows so little about certain things... I wonder if she knows what the love is?
Author's reply
Well, her family are more merchants than farmers, and she was indeed severely sheltered in their smial -- even more so when they found out she was going to marry Pippin, which was just at the age where she might have been expected to start learning a few things.
We're all still getting to know Diamond in this story, but her personality is starting to peep through in little bits. She does deserve some pity, as you are right that she is very alone in the Great Smials. I don't think she does quite know what romantic love is...and it may be that, more than the sex that everyone seems to keep focusing on in the reviews, that is most important for her to learn, through the books and other means.
Auntiemeesh
· 8 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
I love how Pippin wakes up, assuming he's been sick for days, only to find that it's still 'today.' Diamond has been well trained. And I loved the conversation with the healer. Poor Diamond is so innocent. I hope the books help her. Looking forward to more of this excellent story. :)
Author's reply
Well, with his health history, it's understandable...and also explains why Eglantine freaked out so much! LOL. He could certainly do with a live-in healer, so it's good that you think Diamond has been well-trained in this area. I'm glad you liked her conversation with her own healer as well. And thank you so much for your compliments on the story! Next chapter should be up next weekend, I hope.
Auntiemeesh
· 8 August 2004
· Chapter 3: The Hardest Matter
I like Pippin's ruse at the end of this chapter. I suspected he wouldn't want to consumate the wedding but hadn't given any thought to the idea that the other hobbits might require proof of consumation to make the marriage legal. Poor Merry, this whole wedding thing took him quite by surprise. I'm glad Estella was able to help him see sense and make up with Pip before the wedding. :)
Author's reply
Ah, that's one thing all his little escapades with Merry as a lad taught him: to think ahead! Estella is a commonsensical hobbitess who has been living with the two of them for a while, so she was in a good position to help Pippin and Merry make up and be friends again. Of course, Merry may still need to adjust to the whole new situation...see Chap.'s 8 and (I think) 10 (when they're posted, of course). :)
Auntiemeesh
· 8 August 2004
· Chapter 2: Betrothal Tradition
I've been meaning to read this for a long while and I'm glad I've finally started. This is a very promising first chapter. I love that Pippin is so willing to do what he thinks is best for the Shire, rather than what he would like best for himself. I love all the little flashbacks and memories that everyone has as the chapter plays itself out. :)
Author's reply
I'm glad to have you on board! Thank you for your comments on the first chapter lead-in; glad it worked it to "hook" you. ;) Pippin is very much basing his actions on following Frodo's example of carrying out a duty, and I'm pleased that came across. The flashback with the scene where Paladin takes Baby!Pip to see Thain Ferumbras and have his footprint imprinted into the Yellowskin is something I'd been thinking about ever since Paladin made a comment in my story "Blanketed in Love" about Pippin's foot being the one that was marked down to follow him as Thain -- and I finally found a place where it worked!
Bodkin
· 8 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
Willow's book collection made me hoot. I hope the content is a little more informative than old-fashioned Mills and Boon romances used to be. Is it Naked Gun that had all the incoming tides and falling chimneys?
I would have thought life in a rural economy would have given her some idea of the birds and the bees, but apparently she has been far too sheltered.
How long was Pippin going to leave it before he brought in the hit squad of Eglantine and his sisters to let her know the terrible truth?
Still Diamond seems to have some skills in healing - but she needs to relax a bit.
Author's reply
I'm afraid I'm not familiar with Mills and Boon romances, so can't answer that question. As for "Naked Gun," if you're talking about the movie, it's been *years* since I saw that, and all I really remember is Leslie Nielsen falling down a lot.
Yes, Diamond has been very sheltered...and her family are more merchants than farmers.
Hmm. You appear to have Pippin acting differently than I think he would. Can you just imagine that conversation: "Mama? You have to talk to my wife, because she won't lie with me. Have a whole discussion about your son's sex life. Have fun." And, as we have seen in this chapter, Diamond is getting on sooo well with Eglantine (rolls eyes). Pearl's off in Whitwell; Pimpernel's trying to play her political cards right with the new young Mistress, and Pervinca...will be seen again in Chap. 8. :)
pipspebblle
· 7 August 2004
· Chapter 7: Brilliant
:-) Oooh, I love it. Diamond is reading hobbit romances to learn about sex! *whoops in delight* What a stroke of genius! Wonderful!
Author's reply
I'm so glad you like it! Of course, it's not *just* sex she's learning about...although I'm pretty sure Holly Grubbfoot and Cap Hilldown end up happily married in a smial behind the smithy shop;).... To paraphrase James 2:26 ("faith without works is dead"), "sex, without love, is dead."
Kriszta
· 2 August 2004
· Chapter 6: Color
Oh yes. I am aware that the Shire is not the modern US. It's completely OK, I would'n want it any other way, independency or not. But I would go crazy if I had such a spouse as Eddie Murphy almost had in "Coming to America Prince in New York". Thank you for those scenes with the color of the clothes! I also agree with you that things like this won't change quickly, neither by command, nor by request. Also, I believe that intimacy won't develop only by a shared bedroom, rather by shared joy (draugths) and shared pain (the nightmares, and Pippin's father?). I try to quote a few line from The Golden Man by a Hungarian writer, Jókai Mór: "The narrow walls of the poor press them more together who belong to each other... when they are done with work, they sit down on the ground, eat bean soup from one bowl, then kiss each other." It's a sad story about a rich man who can buy anything except the love of his wife.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's reply
You're welcome for the scenes with the color of the clothes...and Pip looked so handsome in his party clothes, too. Sigh. Your "shared joy" and "shared pain" is very insightful. Pippin and Diamond are still working on that -- at this point, they've been married/ known each other about two months. You might also want to check out the symbolism of the gemstones: moonstone, garnet and rose quartz all have something in common. :)
I haven't actually seen the Eddie Murphy movie you're referring to -- his latest performance that I caught was as Donkey in "Shrek 2." ;)
Thanks for the story recommendation for "The Golden Man." I may have to see if I can find Mór's work at my local library.
Working on the next chapter now.
Kriszta
· 31 July 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
Certainly, you can send him to me, although I am as far from being a psichoanalist as possible. I happily read that Diamond had a chance to see a happy and healthy marriage, that a wife can behave herself a very different way than she was taught/conditioned, that a woman is not only a supplement to his man, but a individual being with her own opinion. I don't suppose she has realized that consciously, and I would be glad to see more direct action from Pippin in this matter; Diamond is not a very independent person yet, only a shadow who always says "yes", and it can be quite irritating, even for such a patient man like Pippin.
Author's reply
Oh, but you can't change the way you were taught/conditioned to think and behave overnight, and that always stays with you as a part of you. You have to make a conscious effort to "unthink" things if you want to change.
While I certainly don't disagree with your assessment of "women's place" in 21st century America (the White House certainly being one of those places that I hope I'll see in my lifetime), I am trying to keep these characters in character for the setting they're living in.
Ariel
· 29 July 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
All caught up and realized I hadn't left you a review. This is a marvellous story! The characterizations are believable and they work together well. The story flows very smoothly and sucked me into the action after chapter 3. I certainly hope you are going to reconcile the two of them! Pippin has to break through that very frustrating demure exterior. You have gotten me all worked up for a really hot love scene you know (you always got to watch the quiet ones)! Heheheh... Needless to say I am looking forward to new chapters eagerly! Thank you for this lovely tale!
Author's reply
Thank you so much for all your comments! I'm trying to keep them all "in character" for themselves, and I'm glad you think it's working. I've also noticed that the plot/action in my multi-chaptered stories always seems to actually get going in Chap. 3 -- Chap.'s 1 and 2 were kind of prologue-y, but necessary, I felt.
As for what's going to happen...well, let's just say I haven't written Pippin into a sad ending yet, and also I like to do a slightly different take on things than what else is out there. The "really hot love scene" might be a bit of a challenge as I try to stay within SOA guidelines for PG-13, but we'll see what we can do, ;) LOL.
I'm trying to post at least a chapter a week; possibly sometimes more, but, as I said in a post to a review of another story, this one is long and complex. Thank you for all your lovely comments!
Bodkin
· 27 July 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
Does it sound incredibly mean to say that Diamond will be lucky to get through the early days of marriage without driving Pippin insane?
Of course it does. Poor girl. Pippin has survived worse.
Author's reply
Erm, well, it does sound a little, umm, "unhobbitlike."
Pippin has indeed survived worse than being married to a lass whose "fault" appears to be that she has been trained since she was the equivalent of 16 years old to fulfill her duty by doing what her husband wished. Which she has expressed in the chapter that you're reviewing by practicing checkers by herself because he likes to play, attempting to feed him well (many newlyweds get nervous about their first dinner party/first time the inlaws come over -- she has to feed the whole dang smial!), and saying that she thinks his love song is beautiful. Which, by the way, if you'll notice, is the first direct opinion she has expressed to him.
Lyta Padfoot
· 25 July 2004
· Chapter 5: 'Round
So we see the first steps toward a real relationship instead of a foirmal dance to satisfy custom. The interaction between the characters was beautiful in this chapter - though Pippin really ought to tell Diamond to call him by his nickname!
Author's reply
Thanks for your comments on the character interaction -- and keep watching what goes on with the names.
Alayna the Tallest Hobbit
· 25 July 2004
· Chapter 4: Marquise
I feel sorry for Diamond, more than Pippin I think. I'm sure she feels out of place...maybe she's not quite sure what she's supposed to do. I don't know, but if I was in her place it wouldn't take very long for me to get into an arguement. I hope she works up her courage. I have one question for you, Topaz Took. What is the game of draughts? I've never heard of it before.
Thanks for the invitation to wax on your chapters. I don't usually have time to leave reviews, but I'm going to try. I won't allow myself to read the next chapter until I do, because I know what reader's comments mean to an author. :0)
Alayna
Author's reply
"Draughts" is the British (or Shire) term for the game of checkers. The game moves in Chapter Five might make that a little more clear.
Diamond is still learning what she's supposed to do, and it's good that you feel sorry for her--she had even less of a choice about this marriage than Pippin, even though she does think he's all handsome and heroic and all.
Aw, don't think you have to hold back on "flipping ahead" through the chapters until you have time to review, even though it's sweet of you to offer.:) That's what I meant by "come back": A lot of my reviews occur after I read a story, then come back and review it later, because I just didn't know what to say at first, so I need to think about it a while.
Of course, you are right about what reader's comments mean to an author...that is why we do sick things like check back on the site three hours after posting the latest chapter to see if there are any hit counts/reviews on it yet.;)