Connie B.
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 12: Best Laid Plans
Sorry to be so slow in reviewing this one. Been a busy day.
Well, at least Jack has learned his lesson about stealing. Now, if only there was a way for him and the lads to escape without dragging Diamond, Farry and Hilly with them, that'd be even nicer. But it doesn't look likely to happen. Hilly is either becoming more distrustful, or he's figuring out that they're all just victims of bad sircumstances. Hope no one they might come across has the "shoot first and ask questions later" mentality.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
I appreciate the review! I know about busy days, too.
The plot thickens as more elements are added to the pot...
fliewatuet
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 12: Best Laid Plans
Congratulations on your ruffians! They make for an intersting bunch. And a a likeable one at that. By now I really hope that they'll figure out a way for Jack and the boys to get out of this mess with a bit more than their skin and a profound fear of the Rangers. They saved Hilly, Diamond and Ferry after all. Maybe they should talk to the King himself? I cannot believe that King Elessar would not be moved to pity ...
Author's reply
Thanks! I've written a lot of evil ruffians, a few not-quite-so-evil. I think these are the first ruffians who are just getting their feet wet and deciding they don't like the feel of the water.
I wonder just how the King would get around his edict?
FantasyFan
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 12: Best Laid Plans
Real Elvish rope! Fond of untying itself (and who knows, tying itself as well maybe), I imagine you do have to ask it permission before you do something of which it might not approve. Somehow this reads like the voice of experience talking through Jack, and I wonder about the story that lies behind it. (I'm sorry, I can't help but think of Llinos' bit of elvish rope that corrects Pippin's spelling. I'll try not to laugh inappropriately in your story.)
By the chapter title, I imagine that the plans though laid might not work as smoothly as Jack (and Diamond) hope. I wonder if Hilly will be the one to foil them? He will no doubt get more desperate as they approach the borders of the Shire, if he has been filled in by the Thain on the dangers of kidnap for ransom. Or will he figure out that Diamond is cooperating for reasons other than fear for Farry's life, and if he does what direction will those speculations take?
Author's reply
LOL, I love Llinos' magnic rope! I hope she rescues Merry soon!
Hilly is wondering, for sure, but if you've read the next chapter already, you know that a lot more complications have just been thrown into the mix.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 12: Best Laid Plans
Hilly is already getting suspicious - he's not as green as he's cabbage-looking! (I love that expressions - it is so stupid.)
I don't know that I'm altogether in favour of this sealed Shire, keeping out all Men. It reeks a bit of apartheid. That was supposed to be about separate development and looking after the 'rights' of the majority, who couldn't possibly understand the modern world. Send Aragorn a letter for me, will you? The International Court of Human Rights is considering the issue.
I think Ferdi will be in favour of helping these Men escape - he can bend a rule or seven, that one.
(I think I missed out on commenting on the last chapter. Sorry. I felt for poor exhausted Ferdi, talking at cross-purposes with the Master.
Author's reply
I hadn't heard that expression before--it made me laugh!
Is that really what apartheid was all about? I didn't know... astonishing, especially when one considers the fruit.
I think it was in "LifeWatch" that I puzzled out the idea behind the edict. I think I made it out to be Eomer's idea, in part, after a particular conversation with Merry.
You're right, Ferdi is devious, and he could probably figure out some helpful course if he were so inclined. At this point in his life, however, Ferdi has a very dim view of Men. He doesn't even meet the King until "At the End of His Rope", after all, and most of his experience with Men has been keeping ruffians out of Tookland during the time of the Troubles. Better not count on him, at least to give willing aid.
Thanks!
Hai Took
· 1 October 2004
· Chapter 11: Dawning Realisations
My I have certainly missed quite a few chapters! All the confusion over where Diamond is, everyone assuming that she is somewhere else so there really isn't much of an urgency to find out if she is somewhere as soon as they get there.
It was very kind of Jack to pull Hill from the bog. He has been very find but I don't suppose he will be able to escape without being discovered! He seems a good sort, I like they way he is looking after the two boys. It is a pity that he doesn't have the money to start the shop like he had wanted to. For him to once have wandered the Shire in peace and even in welcome it must have been rather hard for him to get use the edict in the first place! But I don't think the King will take it lightly that he was in the Shire at all! Oh, dear, how are they going to get out of this pickle?
Looking forward to more and finding out what happense next! Thank you!
FantasyFan
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 11: Dawning Realisations
I was on the edge of my seat while Ferdi spoke to Merry. In his fatigue, he never asked the direct question, and I'd thought he'd get away with the wrong answer for a short while. And I love the details like Merry buttering his bread one-handed, and the taste in Ferdi's mouth.
As for Diamond and Jack, well, they've painted themselves into quite a corner there. He isn't going to get away, he won't hurt her, he can't trust her, and he's right, he's not going to be able to persuade Hilly anything once he wakes up. What's a half-hearted ruffian to do as time runs out? It looks like he has decided to take her along as they flee - that's not much of a better idea than the rest. There are probably double the usual number of Gondorian guards about, with the King's visit imminent. It's an interesting question, whether a fool should suffer the same penalty as an evil-doer. We believe so in our laws here.
In your response to your answer to my review a few chapters ago, no I didn't realize that Diamond had given up, and was singing Hilly out of life. I thought she was just settling Farry before another trial - but it becomes clear later that she is also suffering from the cold, and there is nothing more she can do. Perhaps it would be a good idea to make the point that she cannot save him a little more forcefullly.
Connie B.
· 30 September 2004
· Chapter 11: Dawning Realisations
That breakfast conversation between Merry and Ferdi just about drove me nuts. I wanted to grab one of them and shake some sense into them. Thank goodness the innkeeper gave Ferdi the whole story.
I really think Diamond is right. If Jack went to the Thain and told his hardship story, I think Pippin would try to ba as lenient as he possibly could. I don't think he'd take too kindly to knowing that this man wanted to steal gold from him, but he would be sympathic to his situation. And if anyone could set aside the edict, it would be the leader of those it was meant to protect. I don't know if I'm making sense, or not.
Thanks for another chapter. Hope your muse get back from vacation soon.
Connie B.
Good! Merry to the rescue, I hope. At least Merry is in on things. Now, maybe he'll go and get Pippin and they will reach Diamond and Hilly and Faramir before things go too far. Diamond seems to be doing a fair job of stalling, but she's going to need help soon. Maybe a Knight of Rohan and a Knight of Gondor? LOL
Connie B.
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 10: Diamonds
Interesting. I hope Diamond can talk sense to this one. He doesn't seem like a bad sort, just a person forced into a bad situation. Unfortunately, his way of dealing with his misfortunes is not the wisest course.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
You're welcome, and thank you for taking the time to comment!
I think Jack would be the first to admit that he's really put his foot in it. I can just hear him saying, What was I thinking?
Now if they can just figure a way out...
Bodkin
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 10: Diamonds
He's right, you know. He has risked his and Will's lives - and probably Rob's as well, even if they wouldn't hang him - to save the hobbits - and he sounds an all right sort of person. He wouldn't be the first to feel that creaming a bit of wealth from those who have plenty is perfectly legitimate.
Now Diamond is faced with a moral dilemma. I can't see Jack harming them now - you don't save people's lives and then kill them, and there is no way he would hurt Farry. He's far too protective of Will and Rob.
Author's reply
You're a good judge of character!
I've written them into this mess, and now I have to write them out of it again. All these loose threads, flapping around... it's enough to drive one wild.
Thanks for the comments. Good to know that you see the characters in the same light I'm trying to portray them.
Grey Wonderer
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
I'm very glad they've saved Hilly but I don't trust them at all. Now, Diamond has let down her guard and they may all be in trouble. I, also, have to work tomorrow and so must stop for the night. I thought this story was going to be about a picnic with Strider! LOL You fooled me again. I should have known that nothing in Pip and Merry's life ever runs that smoothly.
Author's reply
Thanks for all the lovely reviews!
There may yet be a picnic with Strider. The draft of the story doesn't go that far, so there is a bit of doubt on the matter of whether the meeting at the Bridge will happen in this story, or in another.
Sometimes just getting ready for a special event is a story in itself!
Grey Wonderer
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 7: Into Darkness
Now that is no way to end a chapter! I must protest. If there weren't others posted after it, then I would be in trouble. LOL Diamond is so very brave in all of this and she is trying so hard even though there has been little that she could do. I hope we aren't about to lose Hilly. Come on Pippin! Or maybe Merry! We need a rescue.
Grey Wonderer
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 6: In the Grip of Misfortune
Seems Merry should have gone with them or convinced Diamond to stay. Poor Hilly! I am realived that he was able to toss Faramir to safety but now what will he do? I loved Diamond's line about Pippin having rope thanks to Sam. A very nice nod to the quest. I hope Pippin hurries.
Yikes! Diamond is missing? This is a nasty turn. I loved your referrence to Gimli, but this part was my favorite.
I mean to be there to watch the good hobbits of Pincup shower my wife with praise!’ He gave a satisfied nod. ‘She does so much for the Tooks, and yet they know so little of her efforts... it’ll be good to see her receive just a little of what she’s due.’
The steward smiled. Pippin might have been describing himself. He did so much for the Tooks, and yet tried to do as much of it as he could privately, ducking accolades with the muttered sentiment that he was only doing as he ought.
Seems Pippin has turned into a very excellent Thain. But I am very worried about Diamond an Faramir.
Grey Wonderer
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 4: Truth and Consequences
Poor Merry! I hope that he's right about Strider being able to do something when they see him. I loved this from Pippin.
‘Other than having too much Tookish sense on your mother’s side, to listen to such nonsense!’ Pippin said angrily.
As always, the teasing between Merry and Pippin was very funny. I just love those two together! Diamond fits right in too. You write her perfectly for Pippin.
Grey Wonderer
· 29 September 2004
· Chapter 3: Stuff and Nonsense
Oh, good Strider's coming! This is starting off very well. I love the idea of Merry and Pippin seeing Strider again. I love how Mery made Pippin read his note instead of just telling him the news. Very like Merry.
Beruthiel
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 9: Resting Places
I've been remiss in reviewing lately. Naughty, naughty, naughty. But here I am at last.
Are these Men ruffians or not? Part-time, half-hearted ruffians?
Ferdi's reaction when he finds the Thain's family asleep in the hands of trespassing Men ought to be entertaining. You mentioned somewhere that his not functioning at full capacity is a plot point; sounds interesting. You've definitely got me hooked on this one.
btw, how is "Jewels" coming along? Have you done anything with Estella's age?
Author's reply
Glad to see you again.
Good question: are they ruffians? Well, they're in the Shire illegally. But they seem to have a conscience. It's a conundrum.
Ferdi's reaction entertaining? Snort!
"Jewels" is not coming at all, at the moment. I get overwhelmed, looking at it, for I set up certain dynamics amongst the characters and to change Estella's age by so much alters those dynamics in a way that I cannot "hear" their voices as they interact. I appreciate the suggestions but I keep running my head into a brick wall. Writing is a funny thing.
I plan to look at it again when I'm feeling better.
In the end I might just "cop out" and leave the age as is. Perhaps the "imaginary chronicler" who put her down in the one genealogy misprinted her age! LOL. After all, she was left out of most of the records altogether! You don't know what a search it was, to find a date of birth, when I was originally writing the story.
The geography is a little trickier, but I have a little leeway there. Tolkien never did say that Long Cleeve was in the Northfarthing, or did he? I just remember him saying the North-Tooks settled in the Northfarthing. Does he say Long Cleeve is in the Northfarthing? If so, let me know and I'll rethink the whys and wherefores of Merry and Pippin's journeying. I know where "Atlas of ME" shows Long Cleeve, but that's pure speculation as Tolkien never located it on one of his maps.
I'm halfway thinking that the north-Tooks may for the most part be settled in Northfarthing, and all of Farmer Took's extended family remain there to this day, but Diamond's father removed to an area north of Bridgefields in search of whatever. Haven't thought up a back story yet, but Hobbiton-Long Cleeve-Brandywine Bridge ought to make a sort of triangle. The terrain north of Bridgefields fits the hilly country I needed for the flash flood, as well.
I have no time to edit draft chapters today, and yet I'm writing a chapter of a reply! Sorry to go on so long. Thanks for your comments!
Bodkin
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 9: Resting Places
He seems to have developed some idea of who he has rescued before you could say Jack Robinson. I wonder if Farry let out some things that would have been better kept quiet.
Will Ferdi ride to the rescue on the Rohan? Is Jack bad or just taking a chance? Will Pippin get his bath? What is Will's brother's name? Is it Harry?
I hope they don't get hanged - but this is pre-Ulrich. Worry, worry, worry, that's all I can do!
Author's reply
Jack is well-travelled, and he's smart enough to put a few things together. After all, to make your living travelling about "fooling" people, as an illusionist does, you'd have to be good at reading people. Got to tell you he's worried, too.
Will's little brother's name is "Rob". Terrible play on words, but Jack found it amusing when he picked them up and took them along with him.
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 9: Resting Places
Wow! I wasn't expecting a new chapter so soon.:)
Well, I guess that Jack has begun to figure out whom he has rescued. This could definited be "not good". But he is being much more civilized than most ruffians. Maybe, if we're lucky, his heart really won't be in the getting of gold.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Added "today's" chapter a bit early, instead of late yesterday, because yesterday afternoon and evening were very busy!
Will edit another chapter this evening, if I get the chance, but cannot predict how slowly/quickly updates will come. The story is completely written but I don't know how much time I'll have the next few days for editing and posting chapters.
Writing has dried up for the moment so there may not be any updates in the other "new" stories until the Muse gets back from Hawaii.
Jack is a sharp cookie, but he is between a rock and a hard place, and making some difficult choices, as you'll see in the next chapter.
Connie B.
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
Well, this is good. Hilly's out of the bog.
No, this is bad. They're in the hands of ruffians and don't know it for sure.
What a confusing state of affairs for Diamond. Her heart is speaking true, but she's so cold-numbed herself that she can't see it clearly. And Hilly's too far gone to know anything. I just hope Farry, or Diamond, doesn't let it slip that they are really the Thain's family. That could be Really bad.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
This is good... this is bad... quite a see-saw! Or do they call it a teeter-totter where you come from?
You're welcome. (Why am I up past my bedtime answering reviews? 'Cause I appreciate reviewers so very much!)
FantasyFan
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
Well these are a trio of ambiguous characters. They're in the Shire, and they know it. They know of the Tooks, but also of the edict: so why are they still there? You've named them wanderers, and travelling conjurors, and given them a sympathetic back story; yet they've also got false names (Jack Robinson? :P )and an interest in rumors of gold. At least one thing isn't ambiguous: they are instantly ready to help Hilly despite real danger to Will in attempting the rescue, and they're still helping with fire and blanket. My question is what happens to the rescuers when the cavalry comes over the hill? Is the hanging penalty non-negotiable, and does it apply to homeless children?
Author's reply
O I know, Jack Robinson is a favourite name of mine, and it's all because of that silly cliche. I have no idea who the first Jack, Robin's son was.
We went out for dinner tonight--got some "free kids meals" coupons at the county fair. There was a magician wandering from table to table! He did some neat tricks that had the little ones wide-eyed and laughing with delight. It was a bit like having a visit from Jack... such a lovely surprise.
Thanks for commenting.
Anso the Hobbit
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
you always seem to find places to put in action and adventure! I´m glad the men rescued Hilly, dire consequienses could have come of it hadn´t they shown kindness and humanity. But these are treasure hunters! I just hope that Diamond and Hilly and Farry will ba all right and that they don´t hurt them.
Author's reply
Treasure hunters, indeed! But I'm afraid they've bit off more than they can chew, and now that they've rescued the hobbits, it seems they could use a goodly amount of rescuing, themselves!
Thanks!
fliewatuet
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
Real Life kept me from reviewing the previous chapters, but your story still has me hooked! One should not believe that travelling through the middle of the Shire in times of peace were without dangers. Though I am more than glad that Hilly did not have to join his poor pony in the mire, I doubt that the danger is over yet.
It's sort of 'out of the frying pan into the fire' for Diamond and company.
Author's reply
Well, I'm always happy to see a review, so thanks for taking the time.
This could have turned out a whole lot worse, but I hate to be predictable, and I fear I would be, if all I wrote were nasty ruffians. So here are some polite ruffians, for a change, and welcome.
Bodkin
· 28 September 2004
· Chapter 8: On the Wings of a Song
Jack Robinson indeed! Now we've got treasure-hunters with a heart - hobbits with gold must seem a bit like leprechauns - and two young under-age lads for Ferdi to worry about.
Which is the trouble with absolute rules - no grey areas, and life if full of shades of grey.
Well, at least Hilly is rescued and Diamond can get warm. Farry will win them over and hopefully Pippin will ask questions before shooting.
Author's reply
Shades of grey, exactly. Good thing Elessar is a wise king. But of course, Ferdi has not yet met him, has heard about him only second-hand, and that from a hobbit who calls the king "Strider", not a terribly complimentary name... it's a term of affection and close acquaintance, but the Tooks might not see it that way.
In any event, Ferdi does not even completely trust Pippin, deep down; I suspect the only person in his life he really trusts is Pimpernel. She is his North Star, the constant by which he can set his compass. And yet, in his love for her, he wishes to spare her pain, and so he hides his own pain from her. Not the wisest choice, perhaps.
Ah yes, the plot is moving right along.
Thanks for commenting!
Chibi-Kaz
· 27 September 2004
· Chapter 7: Into Darkness
EEK! Please let Hilly live!!
Where's a Ranger when you need one?!?
Author's reply
I expect the Rangers are all where they ought to be--outside the Bounds. However, there is a surprise in tomorrow's instalment, due to be posted tonight if all goes well.
Thanks for commenting.