Bodkin
· 7 January 2005
· Chapter 64: Tea, that Soother of All Ills
I hope I haven't forgotten anything - I can't work out why Pippin is not prepared to meet Arwen's eyes. Of course, that is the problem caused by reading when in the middle of writing a truly boring report. Brain is not functioning at its best.
That 'resting comfortably'. I don't know - it's meaningless, although the syllables go together quite nicely.
Clever Merry - and I'm glad to see everyone brightening up at the evidence of his improvement. At least one person is doing well! Aragorn must walk around in a constant cloud of athelas scent when there are hobbits anywhere near.
Update quickly - I want to find out more about the Pippin / Arwen situation!
Author's reply
It might have something to do with what made Hilly wonder, a chapter or two back, when Pippin was reporting to the King and left a couple of important facts out. Pippin was rather unhobbity, a few chapters ago... and now that he has time to reflect it's starting to catch up with him.
Is that too cryptic, or does it give you a clue?
Aragorn might as well just hire someone to follow him about wheeling a barrow with a brazier topped with steaming water, and someone following *him* with more coals to keep the fire burning and a can of water to top off the kettle whenever it gets low. At least, they ought to be temporary workers, on call whenever hobbits visit.
Will update again tomorrow if I can wrestle everyone else away from the computer for enough time to type in the next chapter.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Author Reply: p.s. at least it's the report that is truly boring and not the chapter.
Author Reply: p.p.s. perhaps inserting a few hobbits into the report would liven it up?
Don't mind me, I'm avoiding my responsibilities.
But they've come and found me anyway, and so I must go and be a real person again. Have a good week end!
Looks like Pippin Gamgee will have to get over his fears as he will be staying among the big folk for the rest of the summer. I wonder if, once Sam and rose realize that their little one was the target of the kidnapping rather than Faramir if they might wish they hadn't named the child after the Thain. I liked Pippin's joy at seeing Merry back to normal and Merry's simple offer to let Pippin ride back just in case the entire event had taken the strength out of him. So easy the way that they look out for one another without anyone else realizing that they are doing so. Again, nice layers. Loved Strider's joke about his favorite horse being lame. Seems he has accepted Pippin condition and intends to watch him but not to coddle him. I look forward to more of this and to your challenge story as well.
Author's reply
Thanks! Excellent observations, and you're right about Strider.
Bodkin
· 5 January 2005
· Chapter 63: Growing Clarity
I'm glad Denny doesn't actually seem to be breathing his last. Keep your mind fixed on that debt, boy! Hold on.
And Rose is expecting AGAIN! (What are they, rabbits?) Thirteen children is just a touch excessive really. Sam and Rosie seem to be trying to repopulate the Shire on their own. Poor Sam - but he should weigh it up: broken leg, stay and party as against mended leg / go home. Go for the broken leg option, Sam. Not that you have any choice.
The one handed ruffian seems to be hanging on quite well. Though not for long, we could say. (Pippin is trying to protect Hilly's innocence, huh? Don't know if it'll work. Hilly is pretty sharp.)
Farry seems more recovered than Pip-lad. Although, of course, he trusted Jack to help. Chilling moment for Pippin when he realised that the ruffian would have been testing Farry's flying abilities. Good thing they stopped him when they did.
Glad to see the almost-forgotten surgery on Merry seems to have been effective.
By the way:-
'Pippin thumped his chest and gave a dramatic cough. ‘Sound as your favourite war-horse,’ he said.
Elessar gave him a reproving look. ‘He’s lame,’ he said shortly. '
Loved these lines!
Author's reply
In the original Denny would have died in this chapter. Aren't revisions wonderful?
Could have knocked me over with a feather when I was looking up a name in the genealogy this morning and saw that Rose and Sam had a baby the same year they met Elessar at the Bridge. Yikes! Talk about a quick bit of re-writing! After all, she'd have to be expecting by mid-summer to have a baby before the end of the year. And at this point in the story we're somewhere in July, I think. It's going to be a bit of a stretch, for the others not to have noticed her pregnancy, but then hobbits are roly-poly and the baby might not be all that noticeable until the seventh month or so...
almost-forgotten surgery, snork. I *had* forgotten it, to tell the truth, and had to be reminded of it.
Yep, it was chilling for Pippin to realise that his son was the "extra" victim. Farry would have been the one going over the falls, a token of the ruffians' serious intent, if Tom's plan had gone off without a hitch.
Dreamflower
· 5 January 2005
· Chapter 63: Growing Clarity
Excellent chapter! You are beginning to tie up some of the loose ends now! I'm so glad that Denny didn't die--and though he may yet, I somehow suspect not!
I love the little touches: Elessar telling Rose to put her feet up, and instantly everyone knows that she's with child again. (Which one is this going to be? Goldi?)
The other thing I loved was Pippin knowing Merry was thinking of Boromir, and being so pleased to see Merry using his hand and arm again after so long! I *always* enjoy those moments of cousinly intimacy.
Pippin must have been truly horrified to realize that Pip-lad had been mistaken for his son, and that they thought Farry was the "useless one"!
I'll be looking forward to seeing your Challenge 12 story. Thank goodness I sent the last chapter of mine last week. I'm typing this on my DH's laptop, but I can't work on stories from it, as we don't know how to transfer my files yet! Our big desktop froze up this morning, and I can't even find the cursor to shut it down.
Connie B.
· 5 January 2005
· Chapter 63: Growing Clarity
I laughed so hard at the exchange between Aragorn and Pippin about being as fine as the king's favorite war horse, only to be told that horse was lame.
I'm glad you didn't leave us hanging (no pun intenede).
Well at least one of us is going to get her challenge story in on time, and it isn't going to be me.:)
Until your next update....
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
You're writing a challenge story? Wonderful!
Don't worry if you don't get it in on time. If you're belated, Marigold will post it and announce its posting to draw people's attention to it. What's your nom de plume? (I bet I didn't spell that right)
Grey Wonderer
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
Lovely reunion all around. I liked the way that Diamond equates breath with life so strongly. From watching Pippin at his worst I should imagine. Glad Jack didn't stay to face the music or the reward and now if Denny makes it, we have a clean sweep. I like the fact that Pippin is sure of Strider's gifts as a healer as far as Denny's wounds go and yet knows nothing can be done about his own situation. I am enjoying the under-currents on this one very much.
Author's reply
Yes, I decided way back that "While there's breath there's life." would be a hobbity proverb, well known throughout the Shire, the sort of thing you grow up hearing your grandma mutter. Comes in handy so often, too!
I like hearing about the parts you like.
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
Good chapter. Everyone is back together, but now we have the question of whether or not Denny is going to live. We also don't know if Pip-lad is going to recover from his fright enough to even be around men, even the king. There's also the question of Jack's wearabouts(sp) and his reward from the Thain.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Hmmm. Wonder how they'll win Pip-lad's confidence... This story is set *before* Sam and Rose "adopt" Bergil, so Pip-lad doesn't even have an overlarge big brother to talk him round.
Jack's whereabouts will be made clear in time.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
'Should I re-write the ruffian's fate to satisfy readers?' No - you don't have to do that! We watched Ulrich suffer the anticipation of a shameful death by the process of justice. Let the garbage disposal rid us of this ruffian!
'(Elessar? What are you doing there? O yes, I recognised you, even though you're in disguise as a humble, grungy Ranger again.)' Elessar in hiding - in the cellars of Brandy Hall, pretending to be a carrot, just to get away from kingship for a bit. It'd be a good hiding place - none of his councillors could pursue him into the Shire.
Actually, I was thinking earlier that it would do the Shirefolk good to have a few acceptable, well-chosen Men (and women) who are permitted into the Shire - most of the Shirefolk just accept - a la Ferdi, that Men = ruffians. They could do with seeing good, decent, honourable Men around.
Author's reply
Good, that was sort of a rhetorical question and I really didn't plan to rewrite that part of the draft--Denny's giving me trouble enough, mischievous soul that he is.
Hmmm. Pretending to be a carrot. If he *really* wanted to avoid detection, he'd pretend to be a large piece of liver. But it's awfully cold there, where they hang the meat, so perhaps not. Better that he pretend to be a barrel of brandy, now *there's* a promising storage area.
I think it would be lovely to have some good, decent, honourable Men around. It's difficult to get around the Professor's edict, though. I sort of stretched things with the Gamgees adopting Sam, and striking the Shire with so many terrible disasters, one after the other so that it would have been a crime for Men to stay *out* of the Shire. But I don't want people to start talking about me as an AU writer...!
Thanks. It's been fun exchanging comments with you today. I'm all fired up and ready to get on with revising the draft.
Bodkin
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
Hey, if Denny survives - as one who almost lay down his life in order to save Pip-lad and Farry, he should be next in line for honorary hobbithood. Even if the thought of being force-fed six meals a day does give him a stomach-ache. He can be an adopted son to Hilly and Posey.
(Perhaps Jack should too - if he's a Took, then going into the Shire would be permissible.)
Author's reply
Hmmm. Wonder just how far we can go to circumvent the King's Edict. Have to watch out, or people will be lining up to put in applications for adoption by Shire-folk. (Elessar? What are you doing there? O yes, I recognised you, even though you're in disguise as a humble, grungy Ranger again.)
Bodkin
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
'I figure going over a waterfall and being pounded and drownded to death is more unpleasant than a simple death by hanging, don't you?'
More painful probably. Possibly more prolonged. But I would imagine that the anticipation of trial, sentence and waiting for execution is probably pretty dreadful. And nowhere near as quick.
Author's reply
Signed on to check email at lunchtime and ran across your comments. Hmmm. Should I re-write the ruffian's fate to satisfy readers? (Already have a reputation for being a cruel writer.)
Poor guy. I can't imagine surviving going over Niagara Falls (though these falls are not *quite* that scope!) only to be fished out of the River, tried, sentenced, and executed. Yikes. Talk about cruelty!
Bodkin
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 62: Waiting for the King
‘Hold on, Denny. Hold on.’
(We do believe in fairies, we do believe in fairies. Tinkerbell will be all right.)
So typically hobbity, to try to save the perpetrator as well as the victim. Mind you, the slimeball will exonerate Jack. If he has any sense.
I hope Jack has survive the dip in the river - I suspect he has, although I rather hope the nasty kidnapping wretch hasn't. Although he deserves worse than a simple death from falling.
More! Soon! It's too tense to have to wait.
Author's reply
Will hope to have more soon. Awaiting medical advice. It would have been much simpler if Denny had died, as in the outline and handwritten draft. Changing horses midsream leads to lots of work! (But I'm glad Denny is going to be around longer, pulling pranks and getting into hot water and fostering good Shire-folk/Men relations.)
As to the ruffian--I figure going over a waterfall and being pounded and drownded to death is more unpleasant than a simple death by hanging, don't you? (Shiver)
Thanks for the quick response. Reviews are so heartening.
FantasyFan
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 61: ...And All the King's Men
My, these last chapters have been full of adventure. Poor Pip-lad is never going to go on a rope-swing again in his life! (It's funny, as I read this I keep remembering the older Pip-lad in the wedding fic, and it makes me smile to see him young.)
There's a whole lot of mistrust going on here. Obviously Pippin and Hilly mistrust Jack, Jack doesn't trust he will get fair treatment from either the hobbits or the guardsmen, Pip-lad doesn't trust his rescue. Farry trusts Jack though, and Jack trusts his rope (a manifestation of trust in himself alone, I suppose). It is sad that you have to be young and innocent to trust - it's a hard attitude to keep ahold of once you get hurt a few times (an adult who trusts is usually labeled naive).
Now that the immediate danger is over, of course we're all waiting to see what's happening back at the ranch with Denny.
Bodkin
· 4 January 2005
· Chapter 61: ...And All the King's Men
I hope everybody realises that Jack had nothing to do with the plot and that he is found so that he and the lads can learn that there are no wanted posters out for them.
That rope has a value far greater than its weight in gold. (I want some. Don't know what I'd do with it, but it sounds terrific.)
Eruvyweth
· 3 January 2005
· Chapter 22: Sleeping Half the Day Away
I know Ferdi is short for Ferdibrand, and I guessed Hilly was for Hildebrand, but what's Tolly's full name?
Author's reply
Hilly is short for Hildibold, and Tolly is short for Tolibold, who are both younger brothers of Mardibold, whom you ought to be encountering soon.
Thanks! Nice to hear from you.
Grey Wonderer
· 3 January 2005
· Chapter 61: ...And All the King's Men
So, Jack is off again uncaptured. LOL And the little ones are safe and sound. Now they will have to get word to the other worried parents. I wonder what you plan next. I just love those elvin ropes. Wish I had one.
Author's reply
Gee, so do I! Thanks.
Connie B.
· 3 January 2005
· Chapter 61: ...And All the King's Men
Wow, that was exciting. Jack makes another amazing escape.
I am confused on one point. I may need to go back and reread something. Was Will involved in the kidnapping plot? Just tell me if I missed reading something in a past chapter. I wouldn't be surprized if I missed something.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
It might be confusing--I might be the one who needs to go back and re-do something! (Or perhaps not. Perhaps all will be clear by the end of the story.) Neither Jack nor Will was involved in the kidnapping plot. However, they are still fugitives from the law, not knowing that they've received Pippin's full pardon and guarantee of safety. They still think that if they're recognised, it's the noose for them, because they defied the King's Edict and entered the Shire.
That's why Jack is so desperate to get away. Even if he's killed escaping, he figures Will will be safe, but he's afraid if he's taken, they'll trace him to Will and Will hanged, for as he told Diamond in an earlier chapter, if someone identifies them as having been seen in the Shire they could still be required to pay the penalty.
It is too bad that he doesn't know about the pardon, and that he would be richly rewarded by the Thain, and most likely the King, for his role in this day's business. But the wicked flee where no man pursueth, and while Jack's not wicked, his intentions were at the time he entered the Shire, intending to steal gold from the Thain.
Thanks! (And is that clearer? Do you think more clarification is needed in the story?)
Connie B.
· 2 January 2005
· Chapter 60: Over the River and Through the Wood
Well, I was close. I'm glad I wasn't totally right, though. Jack and his wonderful rope arrive just in time to save the day. I hope he can get to both children.
I am now curious to see what happens when Jack and Pippin meet for the first time. Pippin's definitely going to be curious to know how Jack knows his son.
Looking forward to more.
Connie B.
Author's reply
I can give you a hint. Pippin certainly knows the name "Jack", especially after all the excitement over the mithril flask.
Thanks!
Bodkin
· 2 January 2005
· Chapter 60: Over the River and Through the Wood
Maybe the hobbit reasoning that water should be avoided, except when in containers, has some point to it! Every time they get near that river disaster ensues. I'm surprised that, after these experiences, Hilly should want to go to Sea.
I hope the trip over the falls proved terminal for the villain - and that Jack and his magic rope get to the hobbitlings in time. (I'm not too worried about Farry and little Pip - I think they'll make it.)
Author's reply
Of course the hobbit fear of water has a point to it! Water is tricksy stuff, not even "safe" in containers, really! Haven't you ever swallowed wrong and nearly choked to death? I rest my case.
Lovely gift, that, being able to have glimpses into the future. So reassuring in present difficulties.
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 2 January 2005
· Chapter 60: Over the River and Through the Wood
I am very glad that Pippin made it to the river and that he threw that rock and sent the kidnapper into the water. Now, which child is holding on and which one was lost? Or is further down river or... can't wait to see what you have planned next!
Author's reply
The answers to all your questions is coming soon. As soon as I can get enough computer time to type it in, that is. Which is awfully difficult around here on the weekend, and I slept in this morning... the children will be up at any moment and dh is about to come out of the shower, so no more computer time...!
Thanks!
Grey Wonderer
· 1 January 2005
· Chapter 59: Kidnapped!
I hope Pippin's aim is true on this one. A lot is a stake and he seems to be the only one in a position to do anything. Poor Sam! He must feel terrible for being unable to do anything more than comfort Rose and I felt so sorry for Dnny thinking that he had failed to do his duty as he gasped for air. This New Year is starting out with a big on your story! I look forward to more.
Author's reply
Interesting premise I've set up: Pippin is a rotten archer, but he's good at throwing stones. You'd think aim and coordination would affect both sports, but... ah, well. Cannot be logical all the time.
Thanks!
Please tell me that you haven't just killed off Denny! Sorry, just emotion of the moment. I was glad to see Sam out and about and I loved Diamond's reaction to the thought of Pippin going to Gondor. She would find herself alone among the big folk and I can only wonder about little Faramir at this point. I feel sure that their well being will also enter into Pippin's final choice. I go now to read the next chapter in the hopes of finding Denny alive.
Author's reply
Must be hard for Pippin, weighing their losing him on the one hand against their being so isolated on the other. Freddy had a better idea, years later. When he moved to the Southlands, he took a whole colony of hobbits with him.
As to Denny's fate: that's still up in the air.
Thanks!
Beruthiel
· 1 January 2005
· Chapter 59: Kidnapped!
Ah, what torture, left hanging at this point!
Very sad if Denny dies, but I'm not much fond of deus-ex-machina rescues. Too unrealistic and predictable. It spoils the story for me to have all happy endings, all the time.
Go Pippin! Get that ruffian!
Author's reply
Yea, Pippin!
Well, if Denny is rescued, it won't be neat and tidy. If he lives he'll probably have to be pensioned off. I don't think he could continue as a guardsman after such a severe injury. I don't care much for ex-machina rescues, myself.
All those Star Trek cliches from the dim past: "Who's gonna die and be miraculously restored (just in time for the credits) *this* week?
Thanks!
Connie B.
· 1 January 2005
· Chapter 59: Kidnapped!
Lindelea, you are a master torturer. Once again you leave us at the edge of a clif. As I read the last little bit, I had an image of Jack having been knocked down by the ruffian as he made his escape, and getting up only to be clobbered by Pippin's cast stone.
Oh, if Pippin only knew that the ruffian thinks Farry is the worthles one...
I take it that Denny is the character you were thinking of killing off. If anyone must die, it should be an OC with only a short history; but losing him will be sad. He is very likable I say, do what you need to do for the sake of the story.
Thanks.
Connie B.
Author's reply
Thanks for giving your opinion. You put it well: "it should be an OC with only a short history". But even so, I find myself balking at writing him out. Things are still up in the air at the moment. Indecisiveness is one of my faults.
Your image of Jack was very funny in the midst of all that angst!
Bodkin
· 1 January 2005
· Chapter 59: Kidnapped!
Brave, brave Denny. He doesn't sound in good shape. Brave Sam. I hope that vicious kick hasn't rebroken his leg, or he'll never get back to his job of opening Shire celebrations.
The irony of it - Pippin doesn't know that the villain considers his son to be the excess baggage.
Jack to the rescue. I hope. Farry knows him well enough to call for his help. (Although I hope Pippin won't get confused and blame him for the whole shebang.)
Author's reply
Poor Sam, if his leg was rebroken--why, he'd have to stay at the Lake for the rest of the summer, just like the Thain!
Thanks.
Marigold
· 1 January 2005
· Chapter 58: Picnic Breakfast
I LOVED all of the conversation and thoughts in these last few chapters. And as to the poll, I am firmly against the character death, if it is Denethor. It won't add to the angst really, as you are able to write angst with wonderful skill without needing to actually kill off a character. If it is at some point Posey, that would be a bit different, as while it would be sad, it would be bearable as it is a more natural death, if that makes sense. It would not affect my enjoyment of the story, but to have Denethor die would.
That is just my opinion, and I know that the story will be good whatever you decide : )
Author's reply
I'm with you: I stopped in the middle of updating, for I did not want to post the last part of the draft chapters!
I went so far as to rewrite them (and you might know, for me that is a huge concession for I would a million times more prefer writing over re-writing), and I posted my reader poll as a kind of reality check. I checked with someone who knows more about medical things than I, to see how Denny could be saved, and the prospect looks pretty grim without the use of some Deus-ex-machina stuff. (And one thing I fear is becoming a "television" writer--healing all ills, even deadly ones, conveniently in time for the last commercial break. It becomes a cliche, and makes it difficult to explore serious themes.) I was all ready to write in more elf-draught, but thought it would seem awfully contrived and take away from the guardsman's deliberate sacrifice, upon which other plot points lean...
The revised draft was a poorer story, I'm sorry to say, though I might still post it as an alternate ending. Not sure how I'd do that. Much as I have come to love Denny, I haven't figured out how to plausibly save him without damaging the plot dynamics as they've been set up.
About the only thing I can think of, to keep the plot dynamics intact, would be to substitute another guardsman for Denny. If you can bear to read to the end, as currently written (the rest of the draft ought to be posted within the week, for there is very little left to this story), I'd welcome your opinion as to whether that is a feasible option.
One of the reasons I polled the readers was because I have the experience of rejecting a favourite television series when they killed off my favourite character. I simply could not watch it after he "died". I don't want to do that sort of thing to my readers!