Reviews (113)

LKK · 15 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

I will do what I can to ease your way – but you may yet join me again soon. I get nervous when I hear a vala say things like that. :( Perhaps it was pure selfishness that drove him now, but he had to try. Was it selfish for Elladan to try and bring Elrohir back? Perhaps. But ultimately the decision to return was Elrohir's alone. Elladan gave him a chance to make the decision. It was Elrohir who decided to take the chance. But then there are Namo's omninous words. I certainly hope that Elladan doesn't have to go through such an experience again so soon. Too funny that both Elrond and Thranduil have the same saying about their sons' stubbornness. Personally, I think it's an inherited trait. :)

Nikara · 10 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Very nice chapter. I'm glad that our boy decided to come back, at least for now. I have no doubt that Elrond is already on his way!

Dot · 10 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

This story is doing my nerves no good at all. What a tense chapter! The beginning of this chapter just about broke my heart. I hadn’t thought about the fact that Elladan might accept the fact that his brother was gone. To see him cradling Elrohir and saying his farewell was just so sad. And oh, the relief when he realises that he might be able to do something and sets about trying to resuscitate Elrohir. His desperation really came across, even as his training took over. That scene with Elrohir and Námo was just amazing. I like the thought that as long as he didn’t enter he was free to choose. “Families survive even this loss, little one.” There’s something very moving about that statement. Obviously the words are meant to reassure the one who has passed on and in a way they do but it still paints quite a poignant picture. The comparison to Elrond and Elros is interesting. I wouldn’t want to think less of Elrond’s grief but I guess it is true that they wouldn’t have been as close. At any rate, they were parted for so long before Elros died that they had learned to live separate lives. I’d forgotten about the first time Elrohir “turned away” from Námo – he almost died at birth in another of your stories, didn’t he? Or did die but was brought back, I think. I’m glad that when Elrohir does return here it’s with a feeling of Námo’s love for him. Like I said before, I really do like your depiction of Námo. I had thought of him as cold more so than gentle – I think because of Tolkien saying he wasn’t moved to pity – but this really makes sense. I’m still worried about Elrohir, though! I’m glad he doesn’t seem to be in such agony any more but how frightening it must be to see him so pale and still. So Elrond and Celebrian are on their way? They must be absolutely frantic. I feel bad for Calmacil too. I’ve always liked him as a character but I seem to recall him feeling guilty when Legolas’ mother and sister died, when Legolas was injured, and probably other times too. Imagine if the son of Elrond died while in his care, even though it would be no fault of his. At least they all seem to have taken it upon themselves to look after Elladan as well as much as he’ll allow them. His suffering is so painful to see. *sigh* Amazing chapter. As usual, my stomach is in knots after it – but that’s a good sign! :-)

DeepBlueSomething · 10 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Wow! That was really powerful! I liked the idea that Elrohir came back because he heard his brother calling him through their bond. The part where Elladan didn't notice Thranduil coming to visit was just the right amount of humour inserted into a tense scene. Something tells me Elrohir is going to have a very long, painful recovery. I look forward to all the future angst in this story.

Bodkin · 10 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

This is a real roller coaster (and I hate roller coasters - they make me feel sick). Good for Elladan - healing and twin-bonding in one. And Elrohir knowing that he couldn't leave Elladan to grieve and die, or abandon his parents. (The 'you've turned away from death before' comment - a reference to the circumstances surrounding his birth?) Elrond and Celebrian's arrival - they will have little hope for Elrohir, I expect, and are probably desperate to stop Elladan following him. Legolas is a good friend - providing just the kind of support Elladan needs by instinct. I'm not surprised Elladan didn't notice Thranduil - he is far too bound up in Elrohir's struggle. Calmacil not drugging Elladan's drink is not a good sign, really. It shows that he is not really expecting Elrohir to last much longer and wants Elladan to be there to make his farewells. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. (And counting on the fact that both twins turn up to support Aragorn somewhere down the line!)

Kitty · 10 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

I have known it, their bond will Elladan help to call him back. It is very brave for Elrohir to go back to the pain for the sake of his brother. I love the way how you have described Elrohir's encounter with Námo. He was so gentle and understanding. Of course I know you want reviews, and sometimes I have a bad conscience. But I am German, and although I can read English quite well, it is still difficult to write in a foreign language. But I will try to write more reviews.

French Pony · 9 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

One could say that coma is marginally better than death, I suppose. There's nothing to do but wait now. Elladan should probably grab some sleep, seeing as how he can't do anything else. I suspect that, if he puts the cot nearby, he'll know when Elrohir wakes up. Námo seems awfully patient with Elrohir. It must seem to him like Elrohir is acting like one of those cats who decides, on the coldest day of the year, that their absolutely favorite place to be is half in and half out of an open door. But that speech “This is the second time you have turned away from me, little one. . . Remember, there will always be a place for you here.” does sound ominous. You don't want to jerk Námo around too many times. It does seem as though Námo's argument concerning Elrond and Elros is faulty in one respect: Elros chose the path that would lead to his death, he chose it with open eyes, and he chose it five hundred years before it happened. None of these conditions apply to the current set of twins. When was CPR invented? Are we assuming here that someone has invented it in the past and taught it to Elladan, or is this one of those stories where someone has a Flash Of Insight and CPR is invented right then and there?

Lianna · 9 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Oh, poor Elladan. For him to think that he is to blame because of his incomplete understanding and control over his visions is just terrible. But it's entirely understandable. I think that anyone in his situation would feel the same way. How funny, though, that even in the midst of all this angst, Elladan is afraid that Calmacil had drugged his drink. Elrond really has to break his habit of sedating people without their knowledge or consent. He's giving healers a bad name!

Nilmandra · 9 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Well done angst, Jay. I hadn't considered this option - I guess I had in my head that when Namo said 'come' the only choices were yes, to go or no, become a houseless spirit. But Elrohir's body still has some potential for life, if he can bare the fight. So this was a nice inbetween, with Namo letting him return to the fight, even though its one he may still lose. I don't envy him his recovery.

elliska · 9 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Well the beginning of this chapter certainly matched the ending of the last one--evil author! I could not read through fast enough to find out what would happen so I had to read it twice--once to satisfy my curiosity and once to get the details. :) Great angst there. And I liked the end with Calmacil--both her comment about stubborness and Elladan's suspicion about the water. That was good comic relief. Looking forward to seeing the next chapter!

daw the minstrel · 9 October 2004 · Chapter 3: The Gates of Mandos

Well, that was dramatic! I liked the scenes with Namo. They were convincingly done. He seemed very Vala like. The resuscitation of Elrohir was well done too. I wondered how you were going to do that but once you revealed what Elladan would do, it just seemed right.

Rhapsody · 8 October 2004 · Chapter 1: Premonitions

Ok, I will treat those mini-shelobs around the house with more respect. I promise. Oh cripes and it bit Elrohir.. oh no..

Rhapsody · 8 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Oh no.. not Elrohir. Elladan will never survive this.. How can he leave Elladan behind? The switch between PoV was marvellous, well done, it kept me on the edge of my seat. So Elrohir is being called to Mandos. Mmm I wonder what Mandos has to say to him.. or does the tie with Elladan pull him back? I am looking forward to the next chapter. Your description of going through the pain.. yeah that was very vivid. I had chills when I read it.. Great work! When is chapter 3?

elliska · 6 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

I was thinking how tense the chapter was and then I got to the ending. Now that is one heck of an ending! Are you trying to drive us to the same end :) I always hated the spiders more than any enemy. They are just disgusting! Hope you post again soon.

Nikara · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

NO NO NO! That is a horrible place to leave off. You are very cruel. I know he can't die, but I still question. Add soon please!

DeepBlueSomething · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Sorry about that. Completely forgot about reading the warning in all the excitement of the chapter.

Dot · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

*gasp* What a chapter. I don’t know whether to be excited, afraid or sad. I think I’ll settle for somewhere around anxious. I like the way you went back over the events at the beginning, showing what happened from Elladan’s POV. As if things weren’t bad enough for the poor elf, he knows Elrohir was trying to protect him. I felt rather bad for Amandil, actually – bet he regrets being so blunt about how the venom acts. How amazing that Elrohir realised immediately that he shouldn’t take the aldain. His father would be proud of him :-( Your descriptions of Elrohir’s suffering were so horrifically vivid. My heart went out to him. The worst thing was that he was conscious for so much of it - and with his knowledge of healing he was all too aware of what was happening to him. Tirana made me smile, though. She’s so wonderfully calm and collected, the absolute epitome of an elven healer. I hate to see poor Elladan in such despair. This must be one of his worst nightmares. Of course, knowing that Elrond and even Calmacil couldn’t do any more must make it all seem totally hopeless. The image of him looking after his twin so tenderly brought tears to my eyes. And Nólimon died…:-( I wonder why some survive and some don’t…and Nólimon was bitten by a smaller spider too… Námo? Námo?? Jay! What have you done?!! Actually, I do like your Námo. He seems gentler than I’d envisioned, which of course makes sense now that I think about it. I can see why what he offers seems so enticing to poor Elrohir in his agony. But still, that last line was such a “What the…?” moment. Roll on the next chapter!

DeepBlueSomething · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Wow! Another great cliffie! As I said before, these cliffies really should be accompanied by medical warnings (LOL)! Something tells me that it will be his bond with Elladan that will save Elrohir. Poor Nolimon. At least he died quickly and didn't have to suffer very long. Please update quickly before I fall off this cliff I'm hanging from.

LKK · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

no. no. please? no?

Carol · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Noooo he must not go with Namo!!! He is need at home with his twin. They can never live apart11 Please say it isn't so. Now that was an intense story. Way to go. You had me on the edge of my seat the whole way through. I can't wait to see what happens next. Please post again very very soon. Carol Keeper of Legolas' favorite star..

Kitty · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

That is a very evil cliffie, if I ever have read one! To stop at *this* point in the story! I shouldn't read something like this at work, it does my concentration not very much good ;-) But it was very well written. Poor Elrohir, he has to go through a lot of pain. And Elladan will suffer no less, I suppose. But I hope Elladan will reach his twin in time to call him back from Mandos. The twins share a strong bond after all. Why shouldn't Elrohir belong to the few who survive spider bites? It would be too mean to let Elrohir die, Elladan wouldn't survive this. And then - your stories are linked together with many hints, and in "Interlude in Imladris" the twins are very much alive, many years later. So I trust you, although you will make it not so easy for your poor readers. Btw, although I haven't reviewed, I have read nearly all your fics and enjoyed them very much! Thank you for many hours of joyful reading!

Nilmandra · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

As much as I like Namo coming for Elrohir so gently and kindly, I am going to have to assume that this too is part of Elrohir's dream, or that it is decided taking all of Elrond's children from him is deemed too much even by the Valar and they send him back :p

Lianna · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Oh, my. How am I supposed to pay attention to work this morning after reading THAT? How horrible for Elladan, having to just wait, and knowing that some -- such as Nolimon -- have died, while others -- such as Legolas -- have survived a spider bite. There seems to be little if anything that Elladan can do to affect Elrohir's fate. Or maybe there is. The twin bond is a mysterious thing...

French Pony · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

Looks like somebody's read the literature on Near Death Experiences. . . I've seen some interesting attempts to explain them as a result of brain chemistry. The theory goes that, after traumatic fatal injury, the body frantically pumps out endorphins. At the same time, as the brain gets more and more starved for oxygen, it starts firing random nerve messages. The combined result is a feeling of euphoria and strange visions. People who survive these experiences seem to interpret them in similar, possibly culturally conditioned, ways. Interesting stuff. This was another well done chapter. The small recap at the beginning was a useful trick for switching point of view gently. Such a trick doesn't always work, but I thought you did a good job with it. Nólimon seems to be far worse off than Elrohir. He goes under faster, he dies much sooner. I wonder what the difference is. Is it that Nólimon is a Wood-elf and Elrohir is a (possibly stronger) hybrid, or is it just that Nólimon is a bit character and therefore does not have the aura of Authorial Attention protecting him? I must commend your description of the care that the Wood-elves give Elrohir. No one runs around getting the screaming abdabs (except Elladan, but he's allowed), and there is no excess weeping and wailing. They do what they can, and they know their limits. Somehow, that makes for far better drama than to have everyone running around shrieking their fool heads off. And Nólimon gets ushered off stage with a simple lack of ceremony, since he really wasn't that important to Elladan except as an example. One thing -- the athelas water (thank you for not using athelas as a magic cure-all medicine, by the way -- it really doesn't seem to do that) at first heats on a stove, then on a brazier. Which is it? Personally, I prefer the brazier, as a stove seems too technologically advanced for the Wood-elves. Ben Franklin patented one around 1770, but I don't quite remember if there was anything earlier.

lwarren · 5 October 2004 · Chapter 2: The Female Of The Species

"Elrohir did not hesitate." Jay, we really must have a loooooong talk about this tendency you have to torture the twins...and your readers! :-) uh, actually :-(. This was a most uncomfortable chapter as you did an excellent job of relating Elrohir's quickly deteriorating condition. Poor Elladan...he hasn't even started to experience his pain/suffering yet, has he? The guilt has not quite kicked him in the gut yet. And poor Elrohir...not only poisoned, but he finally gets one up on his brother ("can I have that in writing?) and he's in no position to enjoy it! Not fair! It was very wise of Elladan to question his brother about his condition, too...who would know better the effects the poison was having than a healer? BTW, I've always enjoyed your Calmacil character (did I spell that right?)...highly skilled, and not just with the patients! The meeting with Namo was well done - I have often wondered at the portrayals I've read where he is shown as this grim, dreaded personage...there had to be a hint of compassion and caring in him to deal with all the tortured souls that came to him; tho' I suspect the grim, dread aspect of him is true also. (Well! That certainly made sense!! :-/) *clears throat noisily to get Jay's attention* You DO realize that if Elrohir goes, Elladan will probably follow? Yes, I thought you did. I hope you have some clever form of rescue planned...one can only pray it doesn't take 3 or 4 chapters to develop! Excellent chapter, only...how do you expect me to teach after reading this ("all right, boys and girls, let's write a story about spiders!!!!) linda (you are soooo evviilll!) (I couldn't resist saying that AGAIN!)