TithenFeredir
· 15 March 2005
· Chapter 20: Breath of Life
Wow. Your description of Aragorn's crushing grief was original and effective, and beautifully written. The spiritual connection between him and Legolas has been very interesting all along; it was a lovely touch using it to rekindle Aragorn's hope. The way you handled the scene with Legolas' captors was also well done. Their concern is for their own welfare and the elf is only a critical commodity. Their limited medical knowledge was very believeable. I love it that you trotted out the old breath-on-the-mirror trick, especially the way you first made it look like the man was going to harm Legolas with the knife. This was a very engrossing, dramatic chapter. I'm eager for the next! TF
Author's reply
Thank you, TithenFeredir, for letting me know what you found effective. I'm glad you feel the connection and interaction between the two characters as much as I do - it is, after all, the theme of the tale, and the thread that should run through everything, so I pay it special attention. :-) THe "old breath-on-the-mirror trick" was actually inspired by Tolkien himself - remember how Imrahil found out that Eowyn was alive? ;-)
I will try not to let the next update take too long. I look forward to hearing from you again.
Ophium
· 9 March 2005
· Chapter 19: The Reality of a Nightmare
Oh... my!
What a chapter!
"...leaving an empty quiver and a mighty bow bereft of song." That, my fellow writter, it's poetry.
Congrats on yet another wonderful following up... and keep updating fast :) this story is way too gripping to wait for the next chapter!
Author's reply
Thank you, Ophium. I wanted to keep with the metaphor of a singing bow that Tolkien himself wrote about. Chap 20 will be here soon. Hope to hear from you again.
Angelelf
· 9 March 2005
· Chapter 19: The Reality of a Nightmare
Another wonderful chapter although the angst almost put me over the edge. You covered a lot of ground here for all of the characters. The captive escapes, Legolas loses his horse and possibly his life, and Aragorn witnesses a scene that he most definitely never wanted to see. I can't wait for the next installment. Thank goodness you don't keep us waiting. Thank you.
Author's reply
I did have a lot going on in that chapter didn't I? :-)
I think it was because I felt that the chapter would have lost its impact if I left certain elements out.
Chap 20 will not be long in coming. Cna't say the same for the chappies after that though, lol. Thank you for your continued support.
TithenFeredir
· 8 March 2005
· Chapter 19: The Reality of a Nightmare
I've been lurking along through this story but now I just have to comment. Your story is quite riveting. It is well written and dramatic without going over the top. There have been many lovely moments along the way. But this chapter especially, having been set up by the previous ones, is just excellent. You set up the tension nicely at the beginning and then the action is wonderfully done. So much happens so quickly: the attack of the fell beast, the horse's death and Legolas' horror over it. His rapid firing at the men and subsequent hand-tohand combat were exciting and beautifully described. At the end, the anguish of Legolas as he falls and Aragorn as he arrives too late is a perfect climax to the chapter. Wonderful! Can't wait for the next! TF
Author's reply
Thank you, TithenFeredir, first, for taking time to review, and second, for your kind words. I have enjoyed writing this story so far, but the last two chapters (and the ones I am writing now) were given special attention because there were various elements to balance: action, emotion, pacing, the perspectives of three characters, etc. It's gratifiying to know it has worked for some of you. I hope you won;t be disappointed with what happens next... Please 'drop by' for another hello when you can. :-)
Ophium
· 7 March 2005
· Chapter 18: Bonds Unseen
Wonderful story! I'm loving reading it! Great character built and the plot grabs really grabs you... please update soon :)
Author's reply
Thank you, Ophium - glad you like it. Update coming really soon.
Melissa
· 6 March 2005
· Chapter 18: Bonds Unseen
Suspense all the time! But you're kind enough to update frequently and relieve it. I look forward to this story.
Author's reply
That's the spice of stories. :-) Thank you for sharing this one with me.
Angelelf
· 5 March 2005
· Chapter 17: Voices in the Dark
Once again you outdid yourself. This story is just so different than most of those out there and I love how you have captured the characters. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
Author's reply
You're very welcome. Hope you like the next chapter too, Angelelf.
Leaward
· 4 March 2005
· Chapter 17: Voices in the Dark
Another good chapter -- getting to see Sarambaq's grief, and reminding us that again there are two sides to each war. I like how Legolas connects with the trees in the new forest -- wild, aloof -- excellent! And the connection that is formed between him and Aragorn, two friends who have been through the worst together. Lovely.
Author's reply
Yes, there are always two sides in each war. Although that does not exclude the fact that one side may be more to blame than another, I can never forget that the soldiers are often pawns, no matter which side they are on. I was inspired by Tolkien himself, who articulated these thoughts through Sam, about who the fallen Southrons were, whether they had mothers, etc. I thought I should do this idea some justice.
Thank you again for reviewing.
Angelelf
· 2 March 2005
· Chapter 16: Revelation
AAHHHHH! More please, please.
Author's reply
Coming right up ...
Leaward
· 2 March 2005
· Chapter 16: Revelation
Another good chapter -- and ok, you've got me wondering -- that cloak is going to come into play, but how? Hmm, now the tiny little cogs in my brain are spinning around trying to anticipate what you're up to ... which means you're writing a good story if you've got me thinking like that!
Author's reply
I guess you'll have to wait and see, won't you? :-) Thanks for writing in again.
Angelelf
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 15: The Dawn of Truth
I most certainly did not see that coming! What a gripping story. I can't wait for the next installment.
Author's reply
Oooh good that you were 'gripped'. Look out - next chapter up right after this.
Leaward
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 4: Son of the King
"“Eldarion is not the only one who chafes within the confines of the palace, Legolas,” she said in a huff, and her next words came in a rush as her voice rose." How hard it must have been to go from the beautiful lush valley of Rivendell to a stone city. You can understand her desire to get away like that.
LOL about Legolas thinking Eldarion would still need a nap -- of course time would be perceived differently for him than for a mortal child.
Author's reply
"LOL about Legolas thinking Eldarion would still need a nap -- of course time would be perceived differently for him than for a mortal child."
Yes - hahaha! - again, this was just a brainwave I had! I never planned for him to say something like that - it just came. Oh I just LOVE trying to get under Legolas' skin, so to speak, and to see how he thinks and feels. I just love that elf.
Leaward
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 3: The Lord of the White Tree
"Ai, Valar, I could do without troubles for a spell, he thought hopefully. "
They went through all the troubles with the Ring and you keep hoping that things would be settle down and allow them some peace, but even Tolkien says that they still had to keep fighting. And yet I can just see them thinking this.
And Legolas and Eigen - how else could an elf be expected to react to what surrounded him? Such a contradiction to the values he holds dear, the respect for nature compared to the brutality of the man's perspective.
Another good chapter ... and in coming back and re-reading I'm seeing your foreshadowing and chuckling at my own misconceptions.
Author's reply
"how else could an elf be expected to react to what surrounded him? Such a contradiction to the values he holds dear, the respect for nature compared to the brutality of the man's perspective."
Exactly. Actually, this conflcit within Legolas was something that came to me as I was writing it - and the words just flowed. Writing really frees our mind and helps us see things we might otherwise miss, does it not?
Leaward
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 2: Water-colored memories
I'm coming back to review -- since I forgot as I was reading originally. Sorry about that.
I really like the flashback of Legolas and Aragorn. And how Aragorn needs another such break now he is king. And a real feeling of loneliness seems to come from Legolas ... which explains why he feels the way he does later.
Author's reply
Yes, that was meant to set the scene and prep the reader for what was to come. Glad you felt the loneliness and the suppressed emotions from the elf.
Leaward
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 15: The Dawn of Truth
Good switch ending! Love it!
I hadn't seen that one coming. I love how you didn't give it away in the previous chapter. Well done!
Author's reply
Thank you - and I'm glad you did not see it coming. It makes the story more thrilling that way. More in the next chapter. Thank you, Leaward, for taking time to review. Always so good to hear from you.
Leaward
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 14: Face to Face
"Faramir swallowed, as he recalled how he himself had pondered on that realization one day as he watched a Southron die from an arrow launched from his bow."
I love this thought -- so often in a war people forget that there are two sides to each story. And not all is evil and good, but often a mix between -- especially for those who fought on Sauron's side. I always thought that the average/common soldier probably had little choice, and was given wrong information -- Tolkien even mentions that some of the people freed were amazed because they had been told prisoners were tortured and killed.
"relentless slap of rain" You have such beautiful imagery throughout this chapter with the thunderstorm accentuating the tension of the story. Another excellent chapter.
Author's reply
Thank you for the compliment re the imagery. I spend time choosing my words and hope they work.
Re what Faramir thought - this was of course inspired by what Tolkien himself wrote. It was Sam, I think, who wondered that, in the book, and it was Faramir in the movie (TTT extended edition) - that's why I referred to that in my story.
I think it's wonderful and also very sad when people realise that there are two sides to every conflict, and that there are pawns in every power game. I remember how online fans (and two of my own friends), in discussing the FOTR movie, even wondered whether the cave troll had a mother and whether it was just another pawn, not unlike a human soldier.
Aglarendis
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 15: The Dawn of Truth
THIS is your First fan fic? If only everyone's first pieces of fiction could be so well-written, the world would be full of nothing but excellent writers. I have read several published books, Tolkien's Not included of course, that have less plot, less understanding of characters, and far less ability to hold my interest than your story has for the past few hours.
Let's start with the characters. Legolas and Aragorn act just as they should. I never thought of Aragorn taking out his frustrations on poor Legolas, but I've heard it said that you always strike out at the ones who are closest to you. In his own way, Aragorn trusts Legolas enough to show the feelings he could never show to others. He knows, even subconsciously that his friend will always be there. This same elf, who can easily defend himself against an army of orcs, does not know how to set boundaries to protect his own heart. Hopefully, if Aragorn ever uses him as a verbal punching bag again after this story, Legolas will learn how to gently, but firmly show him what he is doing. This would not be denying Aragorn his friendship, it would simply be Legolas saying, "Your words cause me pain, and I have done nothing to deserve this. I know you are hurting too, and I wish to help, but I do not choose to allow both of us to be hurt even more than we are." But this is just what I wish would happen.
I really like what you did with Faramir. I am not used to thinking of him being as bold and direct as you write him, but it's good all the same. He has obviously learned to trust Aragorn and to value him as a friend and as a king. I really like that you have Faramir using the king's first name. Aragorn needs friends in his position.
I must admit, I don't know where the plot is going. I wondered for a second about the "king's son" thing for a second, but quickly lost that idea when Eldarien was hurt. Very good move there. I'm not quite sure why the villain would think Legolas was more valuable than Eldarien, but I'm sure all questions will be answered in the end. There's just one problem now. You've left poor Legolas in serious danger and hurting, and Aragorn is hurting and worried, and the bad guy is still on the loose, and how will I ever survive until the next update? Alright, so that's more than one problem, but please, please tell us what happens next *Soon!
Author's reply
*blush* I must explain that I am not new to writing as a hobby, but only a hobby, and the last time I wrote creatively was eons ago, in high school, and that ws only for classmates. I'm now a mother of two grown-up kids. But words have always been in my head; I just never took the time. This is the first time I have ever attempted to write anything for a larger audience - and never have I written fanfic. I find it challenging because I want to be creative while observing canonical details. I was really nervous before posting this, honestly, not knowing how it woudl be received, but your words are so encouraging, Aglarendis - THANK YOU.
"I really like what you did with Faramir. I am not used to thinking of him being as bold and direct as you write him," -- actually, he was not all that bold, or he would have spoken up more in the healing room lol. But I wanted him to act as a Steward would, at the stables, where he felt compelled to urge caution. That little speech then gave him courage to say more the day after.
as for where the story is heading --- next chapter up right after this! Thank you for staying with me.
Aglarendis
· 1 March 2005
· Chapter 1: A Matter of Trust
Hello Legolass!
Oh good, I get to be the first review for chapter 1.
First, I really like the title. It caught my attention right away. Your summary was also very well-written. For me, a summary often decides whether I will or will not click on the story.
Hmm, I'm not quite sure what you're doing with Legolas hovering in the air above himself and the council. How does he know how the quest will end? I'm hoping this is something we will understand in later chapters.
This is interesting. Unlike other stories, you leave us somewhat uncertain as to whether Legolas and Aragorn were friends before the whole ring quest started. At first, I got the impression that they were not. Now, with Legolas' obvious distress over his failure, I'm not so sure. This is a good thing because it is one of the things that makes me want to continue reading. What was Aragorn thinking when he was so harsh with Legolas? I love that ranger, but that was clearly a case of Foot-In-Mouth disease.
Poor Legolas! You ask us to feel a good deal of sympathy for him right away, another thing that makes me want to keep going. What will happen next, I wonder? For a first fan fic, this is an excellent beginning.
Author's reply
Aglarendis, thank you very much for your encouraging review. I loved your foot-in-mouth disease observation about Aragorn! I always thought he was too impulsive with that comment of his, but till the very end, Legolas stayed faithful to him. It was what he said to the hobbits (twice, if I recall) - "all who know him (Aragorn) come to love him in their own fashion" and what he did, he did "for the love of the lord of the White Tree" - that inspire this title and this story.
Yes, I think you will get a better picture of what's going on once you get to Chap 2 (and onwards of course). I hope you will continue to walk with me through this story.
Leaward
· 27 February 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing and Hurt
Faramir and Aragorn! What a lovely section -- what an insight you have and let Aragorn see into what Faramir has borne all these years.
And the weight of the crown and how it must take precedence over personal needs/desires -- that must be so hard for a man who has had the freedom to roam the north the way he has.
Still a great read!
Author's reply
Yes, I loved exploring the character of Faramir - so gentle, loyal and wise - but how little opportunity he had to show it. As I wrote this, I imagined the face of David Wenham as he was playing that role in the movie. I didn't like what the scriptwriters made him do in the cave (so contrary to what happened in the book), but I loved the tense conversations between him and his father - his strength and patience just shone in those scenes.
You will have another glimpse of how Aragorn feels as he gets in touch - albeit briefly - with that freedom he has lost, in a later chater. Thank you for continuing to walk with me, Leaward.
Leaward
· 27 February 2005
· Chapter 9: The Return of the King
I've been caught up in this story and suddenly realized I should be leaving reviews on each chapter. Sorry! This story just grabbed me and made me keep reading. This chapter -- you can just feel Legolas' anguish as well as Aragorn's. The despair of seeing your child hurt or ill does make you act differently, and I understand where Aragorn is coming from, but poor Legolas!
Author's reply
Hi, Leward - it's really good to hear from readers, and I would love for you to review each chapter. My hits stats tell me there are more than 180 readers following this story now but only 4 or so have stopped to say hi, so it feels good when someone does - thank you!
I'm glad that the anguish reaches out to you, as I want every reader (me included) to empathise with them and the pain they are going through. :-)
harrowcat
· 24 February 2005
· Chapter 10: No Turning Back
Oh you have at leastone avid reader Legolass! I spent half of last night tracking down your other posting of this. But I promise I won't peek anymore. Great stuff - do keep it coming please!
Author's reply
Hahaha - that's okay, Harrowcat, and you're not the only one peeking! I think if someone likes it enough to spend time tracking it down - I should take it graciously as a compliment and let them peek all they want. This gradual posting here is for those who visit only this site and don't mind taking it slow. My posting here was delayed because the site managers were updating the submission form.
p.s. Chapter 18 is up. :-)
Sheikan
· 23 February 2005
· Chapter 10: No Turning Back
Wow I am so glad I sat down and read this story. The last 3 chapaters where so touching. I feel so bad for Legolas and Aragorn now. There friendship was strained before this, but now its streched so far one would think it was about to snap. I hope Legolas doesnt do anything rash =] do update sooon! ^_^
Author's reply
Yes -- it has been painful, and I'm glad you see that is for both of them. Will Legolas do something rash? The later chapters will tell... and the next 5 won't be long in coming, I assure you. Can't promise beyond that though. But I hope you stay with me. Thank you VERY much for taking the time to respond. It can get a little lonely writing without knowing if it is speaking to anyone out there. :-)
Angelelf
· 23 February 2005
· Chapter 9: The Return of the King
Oh my, this last chapter is just a killer. Aragorn needs to make amends with Legolas but his emotions are getting in the way. Wonderful story. Lots of angst.
Author's reply
.... and there is more to come. Thank you for reviewing.
harrowcat
· 23 February 2005
· Chapter 9: The Return of the King
What a wonderful but so painful chapter. How easily we misunderstand and hurt those we love. Please update soon. Don't keep us hanging on this edge.
Author's reply
I agree, Harrowcat. Thank you so much for responding.
I will update very soon, but I'm afraid there'll be more edges to hang on still. :-)
anda
· 22 February 2005
· Chapter 8: The Healer's News
I'm loving this story. Great job!!
Author's reply
Thank you, Anda. It's always nice to hear from readers - that's whom we write for anyway.
More to come.