LiljeConvallaria
· 26 December 2018
· Chapter 8: Caught in the Ruins
...of course I could not visit my favorite LOTR author without reading my favorite story. (Why yes I DO love torturing myself) Trying very much nOT TO CRY because I would have a hard time explaining to my father why his grown up adult daughter is crying!!
If there was a sad movie on I could pretend I was crying because if that....buuuut I don’t think watching blitz chess would cause these kinds of tears. 🙄
Author's reply
Thanks, Lilje. Nothing like a good cry to make you feel better!
Asms2
· 12 May 2016
· Chapter 11: Healing
Holy cow, this story is an emotional ride! I tend to prefer to read about family and friendship bonds over romance, but I was quite pulled in by the angst in this! Legolas was really hurting, and I felt for him. When he watched his brothers take happiness in their wives and felt the loneliness and despair…my heart just melted.
Was Thranduil out looking for Legolas when he found him and Beliond in the woods? Or was that just a chance happening?
I think that Legolas was probably a little hyper-emotional before he even saw Tuillinn in this story. He seemed to be having some effects from the Shadow and also feeling a bit lonely. Then Tuillinn walks into the camp and he instantly latches onto the hope that they could bond. That relationship progressed fast. They had only ever seen each other once before, and not spoken in 10 years. (I liked how Eilian was like "But I've never even heard him mention her before"). They must have had a good connection though, because Tuilinn seemed to be into Legolas too.
Anyways, it was quite hart-breaking to see Legolas so down. But I actually really enjoyed reading it. His family, fellow warriors, and Beliond all rallied around him to help. And they were so sweet in their comfort and efforts.
Great writing! :)
Author's reply
Thank you!
I hesitated to do this story because I'm not a natural romance writer either, and Legomances have a bad rep. Also I decided to try to do the story all from Legolas's POV, which was hard. I had to resort to him overhearing stuff and getting letters. And Legolas is so stunned during the later part of this story, that it was difficult to show what everyone else was doing too. But in the long run, I think that single POV gave the story an emotional punch it wouldn't have had otherwise.
Thranduil was indeed out looking for his baby. Eilian went home and sang like a bird about what Legolas was going through, and that was after he and Beliond conspired to let Legolas take Tuilinn's body to her parents but then make sure he went back to the stronghold rather than his patrol. So Thranduil had a pretty good idea where to watch for his son.
You're absolutely right that the scenes with his brothers and their wives were meant to set Legolas up for falling in love. I wasn't sure about the love at first (or nearly first) sight, but Tolkien says some things that seem to suggest that elves recognize one another as the person they're meant to love. I don't know. My beta wrote a story as a present to me in which Thranduil meets Legolas's mother and falls in love at first sight, so I ran with the idea. :-)
LiljeConvallaria
· 9 November 2015
· Chapter 11: Healing
Congratulations on getting your own story published! That is so amazing! :-) You have a way with words I always liked, and of all LOTR stories I used to read, yours are the ones that made the biggest impression.
Whenever I see people complaining about OC in fanfiction, saying they don't read stories with OC's in it, I think of your stories. Years after I first read them, I still think of the family you created for Legolas as "real"
It's impossible to say which of the stories that's my favorite, it depends on my mood. But this one. This one is the one I would read if I needed a good cry.
I want to thank you for all the wonderful stories you've written. I hope your Muse is always inspired, both for your original work and your fanwork.
Hugs for you. :-)
Author's reply
Lilje--
I've been dragging around today, sick with a migraine, and I think your review may have cured me. :-) At least it made me feel better.
Thank you for the congrats and your kind words. This story was a departure for me because it's all from Legolas's POV, and I missed being able to move from one character to another. And Legolas was out of it for a large part of the story, so I had to try to convey what was going on around him even when he was fully conscious of it. Also, Legomances have a bad rep in the fandom, so I was treading on tricky ground. But it turned out that single POV gave the story emotional power I wasn't expecting. So I learned a lot.
Anyway, I appreciate this review.
daw
NotACat
· 10 April 2015
· Chapter 11: Healing
I'm going to have to read this again once I find out who's been chopping onions…
Author's reply
Is it wrong that I'm glad I made you cry?
I really hesitated to write this story because Legomances have such a bad reputation in the fandom. And then I decided to do it all from Legolas's point of view rather than multiple pov's like I usually use, which made for challenges in some places because he's so out of it, but I still wanted to show what other people were doing. But in the long run, I learned a lot writing it.
And I made readers cry. So there you go.
daw
Winterwitch
· 10 February 2014
· Chapter 11: Healing
Here by the recent rec of this story in the Faerie archive shoutbox discussion.
I really enjoyed this compelling and intense read, and the world of the woodland elves you created. The story was very sad, of course, and I cried quite a lot for poor Legolas - how bitter for him to find out after so many years that Tuilinn loves him after all, just to loose her in this way. It was really heartbreaking.
Apart from your amazing characterisations and your well-developed original characters (I'm really interested in the relationship between Legolas and Galeas now and hope I'll find more about them in your other stories) I most loved all the "practical" detail you brought into your story. The way the patrols are organised and how they all work together, the camp life, the differences between the patrol stations and the dynamics between the characters down the smallest details.
Author's reply
Those folks over at Faerie were very kind about this story. I was thrilled people still enjoyed it.
This story was a departure for me because it's entirely from Legolas's POV when I usually jump around from character to character. It was pretty challenging sometimes to convey what other people were doing or thinking because Legolas was so out of it. But then, it was fun to try that too. Also, this was my one stab at a Legomance, a genre which has a pretty bad reputation in fandom.
My OCs got out of control after a while. I found them easier to write than Legolas, actually. I think I feel some need to be careful with canon characters, but Legolas's brothers? I could have a lot of fun making up stuff for them.
Anyway, I appreciate both that you took the time to read this story and then to tell me you enjoyed it. You made my day.
curiouswombat
· 1 August 2008
· Chapter 11: Healing
I have been working my way through your whole series of Legolas stories for the past week. I would have reviewed before, but had forgotten my password!
But when I reached the end of this one I had to take time to get soted out so that I could log in and comment.
The whole series are so well written that I have been totally drawn into them - and this story has, literally, reduced me to tears - I still have a big lump in my throat. Poor, poor Legolas.
Author's reply
Thank you, curiouswombat. You're making me feel very, very good.
This story was tricky to write for various reasons. For one, I used only Legolas's point of view, rather than the multiple POVs I usually use. Also, Legomances are notoriously badly received, so I was treading tricky ground. But mostly, I depressed the heck out of myself writing it! LOL
Annariel
· 3 September 2007
· Chapter 10: In Tuilinn's Village
Bless you Thranduil and Beliond!!!!!!
Author's reply
Yeah, Beliond knew Legolas needed to go home so that's where he was going whether Legolas liked it or not. And Thranduil, as always, came looking for his lost baby.
Annariel
· 3 September 2007
· Chapter 8: Caught in the Ruins
OMG you are evil!! Poor Legolas, my beloved prince!!! *cries disconsolately*
Marvelous your description of the Dale's devastation
greetings Mirkwood Minstrel
Author's reply
I'd never seen a fanfic that described the destruction of Dale so this was interesting to write. I pictured it as being like a firebombing, a really terrifying event. And when I read Tolkien's descriptions of it, you can see how awful it must have been.
Legolas was just devastated. Poor guy.
sofia
· 18 November 2006
· Chapter 11: Healing
Just finished rereading this story. I have to say it was even more sorrowful reading how Legolas was so happy to see Tuilinn and how he was looking forward to bond with her. Knowing it would not end well was sad. Still one of my favorite pieces. I have one question though, Legolas tells Tuilinn's parents that he would visit them sometime and I am wondering if you will ever write a story in which Legolas does visit them?
Author's reply
This story tore me up to write. Being stuck inside Legolas's grieving head depressed me no end.
But what a good idea for a story!
LOTRFaith
· 9 August 2006
· Chapter 11: Healing
Hello Daw... Long time no see ay? :-) Anyway... I just wanted to let you know again... :-) How much I love this story... I'm sitting here my nose running and my eyes blurring because of the tears still clogging my vision. Anyway... Just wanted to let you know that your story still makes me cry a river
Author's reply
Is it wrong that I'm glad I made you cry? LOL. One of the things that took me by surprise in writing this story was the power that comes from using the POV of a single character who's in a highly charged situation. I made me stay in Legolas's emotions which probably makes the reader do that too.
Thanks for telling me, Faith.
erunyauve
· 1 July 2006
· Chapter 11: Healing
This is a wonderful example of showing rather than telling - I very much felt what Legolas felt, from the moment Tuilinn arrives at camp through her death and the end of the story. The result is rather painful, but it's very well done.
Author's reply
Thanks, Erunyauve. I struggle with showing vs telling so I'm glad you think this stayed on the showing side. This was also one of the few stories I've written from just one POV, so that was also hard. But I learned a lot, so I enjoyed it.
obsidianj
· 24 June 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Hi,
I love this story. During Tuilinn's funeral, you had me in tears. Legolas's grief is very touching. His healing at the end is uplifting. I wish he could have had some years with Tuilinn, or would that have been even worse? Alas Legolas is not married in LOTR, at least that was my impression. But do we know that for sure?
I love this whole series of stories. I came back after having read everything of your stories there was and wanted to reread some of them, only to discover that you wrote some more stories.
I love your characterization of Legolas and the whole family dynamic with your OCs.
Keep writing.
Author's reply
We don't really know if Legolas was married or not, but to me, he looks single. Maybe things are different with elves, but all that running around ME with Gimli suggests to me that he didn't have a wife waiting at home.
I'm so glad you like the stories. Family dynamics is what I enjoy writing about the most.
Alice
· 16 May 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Wow. I know I'm late in reviewing this, school work sort of hijacked my life for the past few weeks. So anyway I went back to reread this to refresh my memory, and it's still so incredibly moving. (sigh) It's all just so sad! It's a shame you don't like writing angst, because this is some of the finest angst in fanfiction I've ever read. It feels real and its obvious while subtle enough not to make you sick. It's just, oh it's just all so good.
I really love how Legolas essentially does the same thing in the last chapter as he did in the first chapter. It shows how strongly Tuilinn's death has affected him. It's just such a clever way of doing it. I thought the pacing in this last chapter was a lot better than in the first one. The scenes tie together better in this last chapter.
There were also some really nice little scenes with the characters. Like Galelas so needs a hug. And Beliond was awesome. He knows what his boy needs. I loved the last line about going in and letting Alfirin feed him. At certain points, it becomes more like him eating to comfort her rather than her comforting him with food. She's such a fun, motherly character. Oh! And I love Thranduil Ada. He's a good daddy.
"Loss can break us, Legolas, or it can make us stronger, more compassionate, more aware of what is important and what is simply trivia." (happy sigh) That's the wise old king I know and love. Yeah, as you can probably tell, there were a lot of little things I just adored in this chapter. It was a very nice ending. It was a nice change of pace, though I can understand you not wanting to do anymore angst for a while (to be honest, I think your readers need recovery time also, this stuff was so powerful). Once again you've provided me with a reason not to stop reading fanfiction.
Author's reply
Wow, that's a great compliment. And you're right -- writing strong emotion turns out to be hard. You have to show it but not go over the top. And in my experience, most people are just sort of numbed and dazed by tragedy. And then I did this all from Legolas's POV, so I was caught in his head. So now I had to show him numb but also convey what everyone else was doing around him even though he was out of it. So it was fun. :-)
I thought the first chapter or two of this story was a little slow. If I ever write fiction for real, I think I'm going to need to make sure my openings are a little more compelling.
Thranduil was wonderful. He really came through, although so did Beliond. Legolas is lucky to have all these people who love him.
Joee
· 13 May 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Even though I sort of knew what was going to happen, it was really depressing to read it. Don't get me wrong, it was a great story, but so sad. At Tuilinn's funeral I figured out what Legolas had in his hand right before he placed it on her body and I was sitting here saying 'please don't let it be a ring, please don't let it be a ring' because I knew if it was one I would get even more upset, and sure enough, it nearly broke my heart.
I couldn't imagine the guilt Legolas must have felt over her death. Even though he had sort of learned that he can't prevent everything and it's not always his fault, he must have felt so horrible over that.
I love that Beliond knew exactly what he needed. It must have been hard for the old grouch to see Legolas going through all of that and not being able to do anything. Beliond is someone who definitely likes to have everything under control and to have a situation where he couldn't protect Legolas must have scared him. But I like how he knew Legolas needed time away to be alone with his thoughts.
It always depresses me now, knowing the fate of Galelas (as well as others), as I have come to like him since his elfling days. It almost seems like some of the animosity he feels towards Legolas might have lessened after this incident, but somehow I don't see it all being gone. But it was nice to see the other side of this warrior, the side where he is helpful in training the younger warriors, rather than just his competitive side.
Just on a side note, does Thranduil ever find out about the colourful language Legolas has probably acquired from his time spent with Beliond? It just strikes me as something that would be ammusing to read.
Great story daw! =)
Author's reply
One of the things I learned in writing this story is that it's hard to write strong emotion, but it sounds as if maybe I succeeded so far as you're concerned, Joee. This story was meant to be my explanation for why Legolas still looks single at the time of the Quest, despite the fact that Tolkien says that marriage is the natural state for Elves and they married young. And now Legolas can look for her in Valinor.
Beliond is someone who definitely likes to have everything under control and to have a situation where he couldn't protect Legolas must have scared him. That's an absolutely great insight into Beliond! I hadn't thought of it in quite those words, but you are so right.
One thing about jumping around in time as I do when I write these stories is that I can always go back and resurrect someone I've killed off -- Turgon, for instance. I miss Turgon and have to write about him once in a while.
And maybe I'll have to let Thranduil hear Legolas cut loose with his new vocabularly some time! That would be funny.
perelleth
· 29 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
A bad case of RL, here.. but yet in time for the ending, it seems!I think there’s another chapter in another of your stories where Legolas, Sinnarn and Eilian look at others’ lives and reflect upon their own…this time the lesson was more painful, but equally useful for him. He has discovered how many people aorund him are dealing with pain and loss,and it will make him a more understanding person, I believe. Looking at Thranduil, Beliond or Elowen, who have suffered heavier losses than his -they have lost long-time mates or a son and have survived it- he’ll learn that he can overcome his own grief, too.
Beliond was himself, as Thranduil, of course, as everybody else, great, and supportive, but what really made me smile was that short paragraph about what Alfirin had meant for Legolas. That made her justice in such a beautiful way that I believe she’d appreciate being told sometime...
Nice story,daw.
Author's reply
Thank you, Perelleth. Legolas's experience has opened his eyes and given him new understanding. What I want to do now is include some moments in stories that are like that "going to find the sun" moment in FOTR. I'd like to try to suggest that he's become more willing to live in the moment and that this another thing that made him the elf we see in the Fellowship.
I liked writing that bit about Alfirin too. I've gotten to know her only gradually, so it's only recently occurred to me that she was probably good for Legolas, even though he was on the verge of becoming a novice and thus spending less time at home when she and Ithilden married. I think she made good use of the bits of time she had and he drank that up like a thirsty plant.
mer
· 27 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
I loved this story though I had hoped you included other points of view for these events. Would you ever do another story about this through the eyes of his family or have it pick up where you left off? I, too, would love to see your next story be with Eilian and Celuwen like the last reviewer wrote. But whatever you will decide will be wonderful. How does it feel to have so many people waiting for you to write?!
Author's reply
I think it would try readers' patience to look at the same events again, so I don't think I'll do that. Picking up where I left off is always an option, although it's not on my list right now. So you think Eilian and Celuwen should have elflings? That could be entertaining. Thranduil would be vastly amused.
I am thrilled and flattered and grateful beyond measure that anyone wants to read what I write. :-) That's how it feels.
moonshine44
· 27 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Hello, and yes I am leaving another review. Not exatcly a review though. I don`t mean to sound rude or pushy or anything, but you said you might consider an Eilian and Celuwen fic. Regardless of what you write, I know it will be great, but could I just put in a request for that Eilian and Celuwen fic? Lol, I can`t help it, I love your Oc`s!
Anyway, I still look forward to whatever you have planned!
Author's reply
You don't sound rude at all, Moonshine! I'd like to do the Eilian and Celuwen fic. I can do some interesting canon things with it too, I think. What makes me hesitate is that it would be set very late in this cycle -- after the Battle of 5 Armies, obviously, because they don't have a child yet when that takes place. And I hesitate a little to do that because it boxes me in with what other things I can have happen. But I still might. I wrote the Battle of 5 Armies story last summer. Maybe it's time to do this one. :-)
Effigy
· 26 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Awww, your stories always put me in a good mood. Even when they are angsty. It was very good, but I bet it was it was depressing to write. Are you constantly writing? It seems like you are always pumping out stories. It amazes me. It seems like never have writers block (knock on wood, I hope I didn't jinx you. - You can blame me if it did)
Anyway - I love Legolas/Thranduil moments. I love all bonding moments. I'm a sucker for that angst/comfort cycle. It was wonderful. Beautifully written.
Author's reply
Thank you, Effigy. I have to admit I was glad to get to this chapter and let Legolas start to heal a little. I was suffering right along with him!
Writing is my major source of amusement. I live away from home for part of the week because of my work, so I'm alone and write a lot then. I seem to have endless ideas for stories -- which is both a blessing and a curse, I guess.
rocky
· 26 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Hello daw! I'm a self-proclaimed lurker but you have driven me to review, (few writers have managed this). This story was AMAZING, as indeed are all your stories. You've managed to create a world within Tolkien's (no mean feat) that is engaging, enchanting and enthralling. You've created characters that are utterly endearing and weave them into exciting plots that manage to maintain the element of reality that allows the readers to relate.
Personally I prefer adult-Legolas stories, but your characters are so captivating that I find myself reading your little-Legolas stories with just as much relish, (something else few writers have managed to make me do).
You've said you found writing this difficult but you've triumphed! I love Legolas angst (is that wrong ;-) ?) but it’s easy to let the angst dominate to the point where the story becomes implausible (not that it stops my enjoyment) but you've maintained that balance of angst and realism. Certainly I could relate to many of the emotional aspects of this story from my own experience of losing someone close to me - the surrealism and disassociation I felt until each time someone or something drove it home like a punch to the stomach, not wanting to burden others with my own grief and that need for "business as usual" because it gave me an imagined sense of purpose amidst the turmoil.
To be honest, when I discovered that this story would be entirely from Legolas' POV, I thought it would be lacking in the insights I would gain from the other characters, but you've managed to convey so much through Legolas that I wasn't disappointed. Although I would love to read about the conversation that Eilian had with Thranduil and Ithilden, telling them what had happened. I imagine it was a shock all round to realise that that their "baby" was old enough to have a serious relationship, let alone had already found and lost one, (I know all about being the “baby”).
I hope you continue to write these stories for a long time to come because I certainly haven’t had my fill of your wonderful characters. I can quite happily drown myself in your imagination time and time again. Truly spellbinding daw!!!
Author's reply
Oh wow. This is very flattering. I'm pathetic. I get all excited when I find someone else who loves these characters nearly as much as I do. I've spent enough time with them in my head that they are almost as real to me as my coworkers are.
I did find this hard to write. It was partly the limited POV. I really enjoy getting into the heads of these characters and I couldn't do that. And then, of course, Legolas was deeply depressing a lot of the time! I'm not a real angst lover. It makes me squirm. So I kind of had to let myself go here. And I learned some stuff about how to try to keep a character's emotions intense and in focus. I'm glad it came through as realistic to you.
It would be fun to eavesdrop on Eilian telling his family about Legolas. They'd be in shock, that's true. I think it's often hard for family members to realize when the family baby has grown up. They're the last to know. :-)
Thank you for taking the time to tell me this.
Ithildin
· 26 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Excellent chapter; and a fine ending to another great story. Well done! I did like the way Legolas returns at the end to interact with all the characters he encountered in the beginning of the story. Thranduil was marvelous throughout the chapter, of course! It really got to me when Legolas wondered how his father knew he would be cold. I had thought a lot about how this experience would affect their relationship and I’m glad you included that aspect in their interactions. It was nice to have the brothers and Annael around too.
And Beliond – I just laughed and laughed over him stalking in and ordering Legolas to get his stuff ready to go camping and his acerbic response to Alfirin’s sensible objections.
“Nonsense,” declared Beliond. “He needs to be in the woods.” He turned to glare at Eilian. “Are you going to object too?”
Eilian raised his hands in protest. “I would not dare.”
Ha! Yeah, I loved this part! And I like the idea of the buttons and bumperstickers for the Beliond fan club too… lol! ;) Beliond sharing his quiet place in the woods was just plain wonderful. Somehow when someone that intensely private reaches out and shares with someone else in need it seems especially touching. It shows how deeply he cares for Legolas, in spite of all his gruff mannerisms.
I was wondering, I know Beliond’s son died at Dagorlad. Is there a story that mentions what happened to the rest of his family?
The ending is perfect with Thranduil imparting wise words to his son and the memories of naneth in the garden. (I’ve received a lot of that exasperatingly adorable ‘help I might have been better off without’ myself over the years! :)) And I hope this one clear memory is the first of many that will come back to Legolas as he gradually heals.
Thanks for this very emotional journey through a difficult episode in Legolas’ life. I’m looking forward to the next story, whenever you feel ready to write it.
Ithildin *(
Author's reply
Thank you, Ithildin.
I think Legolas looks at a number of other people in his life differently now, including Elowen, Beliond, and of course, Thranduil. He understands their loss better and just sees better what might have happened to them. And Thranduil comes through! He anticipates that Legolas will be cold; he coaxes him to eat for Alfirin's sake; he listens and after a while he offers advice. I do love the guy.
Beliond may be a nana but he's not the mushy kind of nana. And Legolas needed some time to just be in the woods with someone keeping an eye on him but not hovering over him. And in silence!
I'm thinking that I might have to write more memories of Naneth, but if I do, I might have to edit stories set later. Jumping around in time like I do can create problems. :-)
Author Reply: I forgot to say that Beliond's wife sailed west. I've never given him any other family.
White Wolf
· 25 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
I think this story, more than many of the others you've done, revealed just how Legolas came to be the elf we know and love. Losing Tuilinn was a sad experience for him but one that will eventually strengthen him.
I love the last scene in the garden. The shared memory of Legolas's naneth was wonderful. I could easily picture Legolas looking up at her after innocently destroying the vines and happily saying, "I help."
And in my opinion, dear Eilian is the best brother Legolas could have.
As usual, it was an excellent tale.
Author's reply
One of the pleasures of writing about young Legolas is the opportunity to suggest how he grew into Legolas of the Fellowship. I think it's easy to look at a hero and admire them and forget that there were many experiences and other people who contributed to that person's strength and character.
Since I love Eilian, I can't find a thing wrong with your reasoning!
Manderly
· 25 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
What a wonderful ending to a wonderful story! You really outdid yourself on this one, Daw. It was a total pleasure to read from beginning to end (not to mention the fact that you stirred up every emotion there was to stir up).
Legolas' grief and the way he handled it was very real. I remember going through the same myriad of emotios that he did when I lost my mother years ago. I suppose for Legolas the feelings go even deeper on a different level. Thranduil was wonderful, as always. Legolas is so lucky to have such an understanding Adar! And Beliond was delightfully grouchy - just what Legolas needed too. Legolas may have lost the one that he loved, but he is surrounded by many who love him.
Thank you very much for this wonderful story, Daw!
Author's reply
Thank you, Manderly. Legolas is indeed lucky to have these people who love him be there to support him when he needs it. We all should be so lucky!
sofia
· 25 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Go Beliond! Of course he would know what Legolas would need after he lost his loved ones. Already Legolas seems to be taking the whole situation well. Why did you have to kill her though?
Loved the story- but a story that makes you cry, in my opinion, is ten times better. Can't wait for the next story.
-sofia
Author's reply
I'm glad you liked it, Sofia. Beliond was very generous to share his private spot in the woods with Legolas. He knew it helped him to be there, and he thought it would help Legolas too.
Tuilinn needed to die because Legolas looks single to me in Tolkien's description of the Quest. He feels free to run around ME with Gimli, for instance. And yet Tolkien says that marriage is the natural state for an Elf. So I needed an explanation for why he'd be single. And a lost love was the best I could come up with.
Brazgirl
· 25 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
Lovely end for your fic. Trully lovely. You started the fic well, had a nice and heartwrenching middle with all Legolas' misery, and a lovely end. I like you ended the fic with Legolas' visit to Naran's family. That was nice because it was something that was bothering him for a long time. I love when Beliond boss him and when he put some fear or I don't know, reluctance?, towards him. Thranduil was particulary special in this!!! Wonderful story, Daw.
Author's reply
As I was writing this last chapter, it seemed to me that the close of this story was circling around to the beginning and picking up the same themes. Only Legolas has been changed by his experience. He's deeper and more sympathetic to others, and that's a good thing.
Thranduil is my kingly hero. I love him!
Dot
· 25 April 2005
· Chapter 11: Healing
This chapter was absolutely perfect in every way. I was half afraid that because it was Legolas’ POV, we wouldn’t really get to see Thranduil’s feelings or thoughts but you managed it all so wonderfully well. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Legolas’ worries and fears always affect his dreams. How hard for him not to even be able to find some peace in sleep. I just loved his vague recollections of his arrival home. There’s something quite heartbreaking about him falling asleep and being helped home and practically carried into his room by his father, even while at the same time it’s a relief to know that in Thranduil’s presence he could finally give in to his exhaustion.
And it’s good to see Thranduil appear in his room, knowing exactly what Legolas needed. I thought the fire was a lovely touch. The thought that Legolas is so cold in his grief and tiredness gives an extra, and very touching, sense of vulnerability to him. I like the way Thranduil immediately recognises the depth of Legolas’ grief. He understands the connection between elves that can happen in an instant and doesn’t doubt for a second that this is what Legolas experienced, even though it must have been a bit of a shock to him. I’m glad it was in his arms that Legolas was able to weep for his loss. It was a nice moment too when Legolas suddenly realises what Thranduil must have gone through when Lorellin died. But my heart went out to Thranduil. He’s so good at providing comfort to his sons but he never had anyone to just hold him, to share his grief or to reassure him that he would survive. He had to rely on his own strength, his duty as a king and father, and his hope that he’d be able to feel their connection again. Sometimes I think there’s something very lonely about Thranduil, for all his strength and power. But I like the way he can take comfort from the fact that it is a temporary separation from his wife, no matter how long it lasts, because they will meet again some day.
“Come, love,” he added. “Kiss me good bye.” I love that! I’d been missing Ithilden in this.
I also really enjoyed naughty Eilian teasing Alfirin. I was wondering what had happened Celuwen.
Beliond!! He’s so great. Alfirin never seems too thrilled to have him turn up but he’s exactly what Legolas needs. I’m still laughing at the way he just orders Legolas to follow him, fully expecting that he will, and Legolas surprises them all by enthusiastically doing as he’s told. I was thrilled that we finally get to see Beliond relaxing in the forest. He turns into such a wood-elf. In some ways I think that Legolas’ suffering has made Beliond look at his own losses and think about how he deals with it. He’s opened up a lot just by sharing this place with Legolas and of all of them, he’s the one who could provide what Legolas needed most. Thranduil was never able to just take refuge in the forest to help him through his grief because he had his family and realm to deal with and even still he can’t take Legolas off, but Beliond can. I’m wondering if there’s more to this place than just beauty and comfort for Beliond, if perhaps he has memories here. But whatever the reason, he’s providing great comfort for Legolas. He’s still hilarious, though. “Then perhaps we will just enjoy the moment. In silence.” LOL.
“Why should Sinnarn take responsibility when you are so eager to take it all on yourself, big brother?” Didn’t Sinnarn himself say something similar? Sinnarn just needs time and space to learn his own strengths and Ithilden needs to take a step back and appreciate his son for what he is. It’s good that Sinnarn is doing well. Elorfin sounds like a good captain to learn from too.
I loved the little detail of Thranduil watching Legolas and seeing his difficulty in being around such happiness between husband and wife. Of course, Thranduil knows very well what that’s like. I remember him not being able to watch the absolute joy and love between Celuwen and Eilian on their wedding day.
The easy presence of Annael and the even more uncomplicated presence of a horse seem to be good for Legolas. It’s great to see the two friends have fun together like that.
I had thought about Elowen and wondered if he’d go and see her. I love the way you’re pacing Legolas’ healing, by the way – the guilt at sleeping, the difficulty at being around people’s happiness and the slow awareness of others in the way he tries to please Alfirin by eating and realising that he is surrounded by people who have experienced loss and who know what it is like and have come through it to find happiness again. Eilian tried to explain that to him in the camp but he needed to see it himself. Even by going to see Naran’s parents, he’s moved away from guilt and questioning to just being there, listening to them and sharing their grief. It’ll probably do him good too to know that while he and Naran’s parents are still experiencing fresh grief, one day they’ll get to where Annael, Elowen, Beliond and Thranduil are.
The scene with Galelas was done so well. I love the fact that Eilian was already there! It’s also really sweet that Vanduil writes to him. Of course Galelas’ mother is as tactless and clueless as ever. “Nothing worse” indeed. Galelas is probably embarrassed but at least Legolas can see now what Eilian sees and in turn Galelas has learned a little of Legolas. It was good of Legolas to praise Galelas, and the best thing is that he really means it.
“Celuwen has learned that I was training some of the settlement Elves in combat and that that was what we were doing when we saw the flames on the mountain.” Well… he does kind of deserve her annoyance! He’s right, though, that the settlers do need to know how to defend themselves. She’ll come around. Her resourceful wood-elf warrior will win her over again.
The last scene was one of my favourites out of all your stories. I imagine Legolas’ loss would indeed have brought back memories of his wife for Thranduil. And Legolas should be well used to his father knowing exactly what he’s thinking and feeling! I just loved the story of little Legolas “helping”. And after getting through nearly all of this chapter, the line “She laughed,” he breathed. “And she said, ‘That is enough help for now, my heart’” brought tears to my eyes! How wonderful for him to have a memory of her, and such a lovely one too (I went to look something up that puzzled me about this and discovered you’d changed it!).
“Loss can break us, Legolas, or it can make us stronger, more compassionate, more aware of what is important and what is simply trivia. I know how strong a person you are. I have faith that you will weather this well and be happy again.” Thranduil, of course, is wise as always. While others can tell Legolas that he’ll get through this, he knows that Thranduil speaks from experience and from his heart. I think Thranduil needed Legolas’ words about following his example too. He’s opened himself up to memories and shared a very personal experience with his son so it’s good to see that Legolas appreciates it and can reassure Thranduil that he’s taken it to heart.
And Legolas can laugh again so we can be reassured that he’s on the way to healing.
I’m so sorry to see this one end (btw, it still says ‘in progress’ on SoA). I really enjoyed being in Legolas’ head for a while, even when his world wasn’t a happy one. It’s amazing how much I feel I’ve learned even of the people around him just by seeing the world though his eyes. Another triumph, daw! :-)
Author's reply
I had to think about how Thranduil would deal with this, and I finally decided he needed to both open and close the chapter. He's the person in the family who knows best what Legolas is feeling, and he takes charge at the start to give his grieving son some privacy and a listening ear. And at that point, Legolas is still concentrated on his own grief. But wanting to please Alfirin and feeling a moment of sympathy for his father are both tiny signs that he can come out of himself a little for the sake of those he loves.
Then by the end, Thranduil knows that Legolas is ready to listen and he offers him good advice. And Legolas understands his father in a way he hadn't before. He sees him as a husband who has lost his wife. I think when Lorellin died, Legolas would have been too little to be aware of others' grief. But as an adult, he can process all this better. I think this second death has helped him heal a little better from the first one. And so he gets that memory back. (And yes, I edited "Tangled Web"! Sometimes writing these stories out of order is a pain.)
And Beliond did a very generous thing by sharing his time and place in the woods with Legolas. He knows that it comforts him to be there, and he thinks it might comfort Legolas too. In doing that, he's letting Legolas see something he normally keeps very private. Of course, he's not going to be all sympathy and tea about it though! And he and Alfirin are just not on the same wave length at all! LOL
At one point, I had decided that this story should have been organized differently because the opening was too slow, but I did appreciate the fact that when I came to this ending, Legolas could go to all the people he had seen in the start, revisit some of those themes, and see how he had changed. He's more open to the pain of others, I think, and maybe more willing to just live a little bit in the moment because he knows how fleeting it is now.
Her resourceful wood-elf warrior -- That made me laugh! Celuwen loves him and will probably concede that the settlers needed to learn what Eilian had to teach. He's not backing down about it, so she might as well. He usually gives way to her, I think, so when he doesn't, she knows it's important.
Thank you so much for this lovely review, Dot. I went and changed the story's status on SoA. Thank you for reminding me.