Flowers, Gems And Estella – Chapter XXXI
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Celandine watched as Estella hurriedly packed her things that next morning, and sensing the angry mood she still possessed, she spoke little of the previous evening, careful not to set Estella off in another rage. Last night, after arriving at the hole, Estella had shut herself up in the guest room – she did not lock the door, however, and Celandine cautiously entered it after some time. She found her lying on her bed, facing away from her – by this time her sobs had grown quiet, but her face still shined wet with tears, and Celandine was careful with her words as she sat down beside her on the bed.
“Estella,” she’d begun, and stopped, not knowing exactly what to say having not been in such a situation herself, “You must feel pretty bad right now.” No, that’s not right – I’m just stating the obvious and making her feel even worse. “I mean, please be happy – for I am still your friend, am I not?”
Estella wiped her nose, and sat up somewhat, but still did not face her as she spoke. “Yes, Celandine, you are.” Her voice had been calm and quiet, but Celandine knew she would have been less upset by it if Estella had been screaming in fury. She has feelings that she needs to vent out – but she doesn’t want to.
“You probably don’t want to talk about what happened – so I won’t ask you. But if you do want to talk,” she’d said, and had placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I’ll listen.”
Now, early that next morning, Estella was still as she had been – silent and reserved, not revealing her feelings. It confused Celandine very much. For all I know she may not be mad anymore – I doubt it, though. In all truth, though, Estella’s thoughts were further from Merry, for she knew if she were to think of him, she would break down once more in sorrowful tears.
Within the hole, it was as if a death had recently occurred – Doderic and Ilberic, along with Mentha and Melilot, were downstairs, waiting to say goodbye to Estella. Though they did not know the exact details of the previous evening’s events, Doderic and Ilberic knew enough to know that a rift had arisen between Merry and Estella, and sat with their hands lying idly in their laps, their faces directed at the floor. Mentha and Melilot, still somewhat clueless that Merry and Estella had even been together in the first place, somehow sensed the mood of those around them – they were aware that Estella was leaving that day, and also had an idea that something disastrous had happened recently – but to what extent they knew not.
Their heads all looked up upon hearing a door close somewhere upstairs, and they saw Estella, with her brother Fredegar behind carrying her trunk, make her way down the stairs, Celandine following. They all stood, and an awkward silence fell upon the room as though no one knew quite what to say at the tense moment.
Mentha and Melilot, acting first, approached Estella and both embraced her, saying, “We’ll miss you.” Estella responded, nodding at first and then saying, “I’ll – I’ll miss you too.” Already her eyes were staring to water up, and she wiped at them before the tears had a chance to spill over.
“Sure you can’t stay longer?” Melilot said earnestly, and for the first time that morning Estella smiled, and chuckled softly.
“Oh, I would love to, my dear,” she said, “But I miss my home, and my family.” She hugged Melilot once more as she said this, and did the same for Mentha.
Doderic and Ilberic stood shuffling their feet, and Estella came up to them as well, embracing them in a strong hug. “Come back and visit us some time – or maybe we’ll just come visit you,” they said.
“Oh, goodness knows what you two would do in Bywater,” she said grinning, “Fishing in the Big Water and having a pint at The Green Dragon – no doubt Pippin would convince you to have a go at Farmer Maggot’s vegetables.”
The two of them grinned. “Oh, well maybe we ought to visit you sometime soon, then,” and said nothing more.
Estella turned now to Celandine, preparing to say goodbye to her, who instead picked a small bag of hers off the floor, and went outside to help carry it, Estella behind her with Fredegar following with the heavy trunk.
Estella blinked upon seeing the brilliant sunshine outside, the light contradicting with her mood, and she wondered for a moment why it was not raining. The wooden cart of Fredegar’s was just beyond the gate, already sitting in the dirt road for their journey home. After loading the luggage upon it, Estella stood before Celandine, whose eyes she noticed were now just as wet as her own.
“I’ll write you, I suppose,” Celandine said, for lack of better conversation.
“Come now,” Estella said, “You and I – we mustn’t leave like this, not on these terms. Let’s have a proper goodbye from you.”
Celandine smiled, and embraced Estella in a strong hug as tears spilled over her eyes and down her cheeks. “I’m getting your dress wet,” she said, her voice muffled, and released her, “No matter what, you and I shall still be friends – don’t be long in coming back, okay?”
“I’m perfectly certain I shan’t be able to stay away long,” she said, and climbed aboard the cart on which Fredegar was already stationed.
“Goodbye Celandine,” he said, and pulled the reins for the pony to move.
“Goodbye Fredegar!” she said, waving as she slowly disappeared from Estella’s sight, “You look after Estella for me – don’t forget to write. Every day! No, twice a day!”
“I shan’t forget!” Estella shouted back, waving at Celandine’s slowly receding form, “Look after those brothers of yours, and make sure they don’t eat too many strawberries!”
Estella was so far away that she had to strain her ears to hear Celandine’s cry of, “I will!” Another second and she was beyond sight as they turned a bend on the dusty road, dry with the September air.
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Pippin, sensing his cousin’s discontent, carefully walked past the entrance of the room in which Merry was currently in, laying slouched in a comfortable chair, his head resting on the arm of it with an indifferent air. He winced as his foot stepped upon a squeaky floorboard, hoping not to disturb Merry, who had spent the last two days brooding in silence.
“Hullo, Pippin,” he heard his cousin say from within, the voice low and dull.
“Oh – hello to you, Merry,” he said with a nervous air of his own, “Er – how are you feeling?”
“Wonderful, Pip – just perfectly wonderful.” And he rolled over in the chair to face away towards the opposite wall.
Pippin knew somehow that he was the cause of the fight that had torn Merry and Estella apart – perhaps it was his rudeness, or his never-ending knack of annoying others. Whatever it was he knew not, but feeling responsible for the events he’d decided to make amends for it, and see that Merry and Estella were together again. Though where to begin, he knew not.
“You hungry?” he suggested, trying desperately to spark Merry’s interest.
“No thanks.”
His face fell a little. “I know – how about we go down to Farmer Maggot’s? That always cheers you up!”
“Not today, Pip.”
He racked his brain again for more ideas. “How about this then? You and I go visit Frodo and Sam, just like old times. Get this Estella business out of your head, and go out with the lads.”
“Pip!” he said, turning around to face him, and Pippin saw a hint of anger in his tone and facade, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted – but I’d rather you just leave me alone.”
“Oh, come on! The Merry Brandybuck I know wouldn’t let something like this get him down!”
“Yeah, well, the Merry you know is no more – he’s gone, and nothing’s going to bring him back.”
“The Merry I know wouldn’t take something like this lying down – he’d go out there and fix it, just like he knew he had to! Why, if he had a fight with his lass, he’d go out there, and show her whatnot – he’d give her the best apology she’s ever heard!”
“Not this time, I’m afraid.”
“Well, why not?”
“Because I’ve lost her, Pippin!” he said, and raised himself up to face Pippin once more, “Because after the fight we had, she wouldn’t come back for anything – not if I was the last hobbit in the Shire! No, it’s all over between us, and it doesn’t matter what I feel.”
“What do you feel?”
“I’m tired of talking with you, Pip.”
“Merry, you’ll never get this thing solved if you don’t talk about it!” Merry looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “You just sit there, and feel sorry for yourself – well, you know what? It makes me sick! You’re acting like a coward! No, that’s wrong, you’re not acting like one – you are one! Now, you still love her, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then you have to go to her, and tell her that!”
“But she still hates me, I know it.”
“You don’t know for sure! And you won’t know unless you go talk to her!” Pippin said encouragingly, but Merry only shook his head, remaining where he sat, “Now how do you know that she hates you? What makes you think this?”
“Because – because there’s no other way for her to feel in a situation like this. Because I wouldn’t expect her to feel any other way.”
“You’re sure of this?” Merry nodded nonchalantly.
Pippin pondered this matter for a little while. “Merry, do you remember the time my parents had an argument that nearly ripped the hole apart?”
“You’re asking me to remember a specific fight? That’s probably happened too many times to count.”
“Well, I remember this one fight well – see, my father, I suppose, was being stubborn, like he often is. The two of them had clashed over something about him not wanting to trim the hair on his feet, something silly like that. I remember her nagging that it was getting quite long, and dirty too – and she was probably right – but they had the biggest fight over it, and in the end he stormed off to the pub while she stayed at home at fumed, no doubt. And that’s where I found him – I hadn’t been in the Smials at the time to know of the fight, so I heard about it from him. And by this time he was quite sorry he’d stormed off, and thinking she’d never take him back, and that she didn’t love him anymore – quite pathetic, really. And when we came home, she had made his favorite dinner, and she said she was so sorry about everything – and they both forget their anger immediately.”
“What exactly was the point of that story?” Merry said once he was done.
“My point was that the two of you will sometimes fight, like my parents do, but in the end you still love each other, and that’s what’s most important – believe me, Merry, she probably feels as sorry as you.”
Merry said nothing, however, and still remained in his pathetic state of disgraceful slump.
“I’m not done with you yet,” Pippin said, “I’m not nearly finished here!” And he exited the room, his mind determined and set. “If Merry needs encouragement, then that’s what he’s going to get!”