Title: To My Heart’s Content
Author: Anso the Hobbit
Pairing: Merry/Estella
Timeline: Brandy Hall, SR 1428 so Merry is 46 and Estella 43.
Rating: R
Note: Written for the hobbit_ficathon challenge. Not yet betaed.
Disclaimer: Not mine. They just own me.
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Estella lit the last candle and set it carefully down on the table, allowing the room to take on a golden hue in the fading daylight. She had stopped counting the times she shot a glance up at the clock over the mantle and felt time standing almost completely still but she couldn’t help look at it just one more time. The clock's hands seemed to never be moving. He would be home very soon and the time wouldn't go faster just because she looked at the clock. Estella turned and looked out of the window towards the Ferry. Hopefully he would use the private entrance and not come all the way through the Hall. If he did that it could take forever before she got to see him - there was always one hobbit or other who wanted to talk to him about something or discuss something that couldn't wait. She knew that was how it always would be, but sometimes she wished that he was just an ordinary farmer or work-hobbit and not the Heir to Buckland with all the responsibility and work that involved. Estella loved Merry for who he was not because of his title or his wealth. It didn't hurt that he had that of course, but Estella knew deep down in her heart that if Merry had been a hobbit employed by someone else working the fields or the gardens, she would love him just as much. Her love for him would never change.
Merry had protested once when she had said that, telling her that he was an ordinary hobbit, doing his work and not someone special, but Estella knew that Merry knew that he was special. No one was like him and he knew that. Still he didn’t put on airs about it or brag about it and she loved him even more for that.
Estella looked about the Master’s private family parlour. It wasn’t very large, but held a few sitting groups with sofas and chairs, some tables and a large hearth. It was very cosy and she thought it was the perfect place to welcome her love back home. The parlour was held in soft green tones with burgundy curtains and cushions and the walls were full of family pictures. Estella thought about their family. The littlest one was asleep in the cot in the nursery and the others were with Esmie and the nurse. Esmie had been very understanding when Estella said that she would like to spend some time alone with Merry unless some very urgent matter came in the way. He had been so busy lately that he had stumbled exhausted to bed, asleep almost before his head hit the pillow, just to rise early and work late. There would have to be an end to that, and Estella knew it was the season and nothing she really could do about it. When harvest was over things would quiet down. It didn’t mean that she had to like it or wish for quieter times though.
Estella sat down in one of the sofas and folded her hands in her lap just to a second later rise take one of the rose-pattern cushions in her hands and run her fingers through the tassels. She put the cushion down and started pacing around the room. You're behaving like a tween she chided, but couldn't help giggling a bit at the thought of Merry. They had been married for quite some time now, but she could still often feel the butterflies in her stomach when she waited for him to come home.
She knew what she would see – a travel-stained, weary and muddy hobbit greeting her with a tired smile and a kiss before going off to take a bath and sleep some hours before work called him again. And she was all right with that most days, but today she wanted them to have some time together, just the two of them without any interruptions from children or family.
There was a sound at the door and she hurried to open it, just to let one of the kittens in. The little brown-and-grey striped bundle scurried over to the hearth and lay down on the rug there, watching her for some time before licking its fur and going to sleep.
Watching it Estella felt that she loved Merry so much that she thought she would burst from it. Sometimes, like now, she couldn't bear the thought of being away from him and every fibre in her body longed for him. She looked out towards the Ferry again but couldn’t see anyone come up the lane. Just as she turned towards the door again, it opened and Esmeralda came in. Estella tried not to show her disappointment and forced a smile. Esmeralda smiled back and came over to her.
“Don’t worry dear. They are coming over the Bridge instead of the Ferry. Apparently there was some business up at the Gate that had to be dealt with at once. They will be back shortly." Esmie patted Estella's arm and smiled knowingly at her.
Estella nodded. She knew that Esmie waited for Saradoc to come back too. She could see the love that shone in Merry's parents’ eyes when they met after being away for some time and she hoped that she and Merry would be like that when they were old and had lived together as long as Esmie and Sara had.
“I’ll go back to the children now, dear, but our Merry will be back soon. Don’t you worry." They rose and Estella followed her to the door. When Esmie had left Estella started to pace the parlour. Time stood still.
*****
Finally, after what felt like hours the parlour door opened and Merry entered. Estella was standing with her back towards him but whirled around when she heard the sound of the door opening. For what felt like an eternity she just looked at him, smiling with tears of joy in her eyes, taking in his features as if she hadn’t seen him for a very, very long time. He was weary as she had predicted but his eyes shone like blue fire and she felt herself drawn towards the deep blue pools that seemed to flow over with love for her. Estella thought her heart would burst then and she rushed towards him letting herself being enveloped in his strong arms.
“My love,” Merry whispered into her hair, his voice thick with emotion.
“My heart,” Estella said and just stood there, leaning her head against his chest, taking in the warmth and smell of him, not caring that he was dirty and sweaty after a long day's work. Finally she tilted her head up and looked at him. “My Merry.”
Their lips met then – slowly and hesitantly at first as if learning to know the other one all over again, then quicker and more demanding, and for what seemed like an eternity none of them could or would let go.
Reluctantly they came up for breath just to plunge back into another kiss that lasted another eternity. Estella closed her eyes and sighed as Merry caressed her face with a feather light touch, stroking her curls and back. She reached up and folded her arms behind his neck, letting her fingers entwine with his hair.
“I have missed you so,” Merry murmured as they parted to breathe.
“I have missed you too," Estella said and felt the painful longing for him to come home give way for another kind of longing. "But you are here now and we have a few hours to ourselves. The children are with your mother and the nurse."
Merry smiled gratefully and reached down to kiss her again. “Come have a bath with me?”
"Yes," Estella took his hand and together they went to the private bathroom in their apartment. Merry started filling the large tub and Estella dashed out to their bedroom to find their robes and a fresh set of clothing for Merry. Waiting for the bath to fill, Estella found soap and towels and lit a few candles that were placed around in niches on the wall, humming to herself and watching as Merry's muscles spilled as he filled the tub.
At last, when the tub was full of hot, steaming water Merry turned to her with a smoky smile. “Come here."
Estella went willingly and let Merry unfasten her hair and dress, stepping out of it to help him get rid of his own clothes. "My love,” Estella murmured as Merry reached for her, taking her in his arms once again. They climbed up in the bath and Estella sank blissfully down in front of her love, letting Merry's hands caress and do whatever they felt like, relishing the feeling of skin against skin and having her Merry back. She leaned back and sighed deeply, closing her eyes and forgetting that there was a world outside here and now.
“Estella,” Merry murmured as he kissed her neck. “I love you.”
Estella opened her eyes and turned around to face him. "Merry.” She kissed him deeply. "My heart, my love. I love you too and always will." Estella leaned in again and kissed those sweet lips. Closing her eyes, she let her hands caress his face and body, following familiar and loved lines, mapping it all out again. Merry sighed into her touch and smiled broadly when she finally opened her eyes again and let her hands finish their tour by cupping his beloved face. He cocked his head on one side and that mischievous grin that she loved so much played across his features.
“Wash my hair?”
“Of course, dearest.”
They switched places and Merry slid down in the tub, allowing his hair to be drenched as Estella lathered the soap and started massaging it into his curls and Merry sighed deeply, full of content. She helped him rinse and proceeded to wash his back and arms with a soft cloth, loosening stiff muscles as she did so. The bath was starting to get cold and Estella shivered a little and wrapped her arms around him. Merry laughed and looked at her hands, kissing them in turn. "Wë'll turn into two fine prunes if we sit here much longer."
Estella splashed him. “We’ll fit nicely together then," she laughed. "But we don't have to be prunes to do that.”
“No, that¨s true.” Merry yawned suddenly and shook his head, sending small droplets of water all over the room. “I think I need a nap love. Come take one with me?"
“I'd love to." They rose from the tub and helped dry each other off, touching and looking at each other as if they were tweens doing this for the first time. Estella reached for Merry’s right hand, checking with satisfaction that it was warm as the rest of him before putting on her dressing gown and going into the bedroom. She had started checking his right hand whenever he was tired years ago after he had a bad spell one spring after working too long and too much without any rest. His hand would always grow cold if he was too tired and didn't pay any heed to the signs and so she had started checking the temperature of it regularly to monitor his weariness when he was too occupied to pay attention himself. Judging on the temperature she would herd him off to bed for a nap or whatever else she found fitting for him until his hand became warm again and he was well rested.
She pulled back the covers and climbed in. Merry was just a step behind her and climbed in behind her. He lay his head on the pillow then reached for her. "Come, my love." Estella went willingly and snuggled into his arms accepting his caress and love gratefully and pouring her heart into her response.
After, they lay looking at each other for some time in silence until Merry’s eyes drifted shut. Estella tucked her head under his chin and listened to his breathing as it evened out into slumber. “I love you Merry," She whispered and let tears of joy and happiness fall. Merry murmured something sleepily in response and tightened his arms around her. Estella fell asleep then, loved and happy and content that her Merry finally was home again. And if anyone had been watching then, they would have seen smiles play along each of their features as the future Master and Mistress of Buckland slept the sleep you only can sleep in the arms of the one you love.
END