Larner · 28 December 2007 · Chapter 6: Rivendell
Good enough, then. No, no time for voice messaging! Heh!
Answering Machines of Middle-earth by Lindelea
Reviews (52)
Larner · 28 December 2007 · Chapter 5: The Palantir in the White City
This one has me chortling with laughter! Oh, Lindelea--you're BAD!
Larner · 28 December 2007 · Chapter 3: At the Tower of Orthanc, Part 2
Yes, let's report sightings of the Ringbearer! Poor Frodo--has his own option!
Larner · 27 December 2007 · Chapter 2: At the Tower of Orthanc, Part 1
Well, that's one car service I think I'd prefer to do without! Heh!
Author's reply
LOL!
Larner · 27 December 2007 · Chapter 1: At the Sign of the Green Dragon
Ah, yes, the PERFECT one for that establishment! Heh!
vampfan30 · 13 May 2006 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
just read these tonight, laughed myself out of the chair. we used to do the " hi, I'm calling for..." calls all the time as kids. the updated version is definitely better...;)
Elanor Silmariën · 26 March 2006 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This was hilarious! My friend Joelle has told me that you wrote fanfic, but I hadn't read much of yours till now. This is absolutely hilarious! *wanders off to read more of your sruff* God bless, Elanor
Author's reply
Nice to hear from you! Thanks for taking time to leave a comment.
Rosie-Ann · 4 October 2004 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
XD You know, I've actually tried that phone prank...not for Legolas, obviously...I did it to my Grandma a couple years ago on April Fools...and she doesn't pick the phone up usually, so I left about three messeges for a girl named Eden - then she was all worried that this poor girl wouldn't get called by any of her friends, so she picked up and I did the "Hi, this is Eden, have there been any calls for me?" Not that you needed to know that. >.> Good story! Very funny! Keep it up!
Aloysius · 11 May 2004 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
These are absolutely genius! :applause: (It's actually quite hard to applaud whilst guffawing, so be impressed...) Alo
Kitt of Lindon · 6 February 2004 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
Funny. I mean really funny. You know,I think Thranduil should install a high-pitched beep on the answering machine to scare off Legolas' admirers... Seriously, I loved them all. The Saruman one- 'drying nails, leave a message after the groan...' no wait, I'll just rewrite the whole thing here. These are the few words to describe it: simple yet so funny. Cheers!
Nerys · 31 December 2003 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
This whole thing was brilliant, it appealed to my twisted sense of humour. I really can't think of anything else to say, but that was definitly the best of this genre/style pieces around.
Author's reply
(doing my best bad Elvis impression) Thankyou! Thankyou verymuch!
Jay of Lasgalen · 31 December 2003 · Chapter 1: At the Sign of the Green Dragon
I so nearly didn't read this, the modern day/LOTR crossovers aren't my thing. But I'm so glad I did! Very funny. My favourite is Thranduil's - I agree with him, I don't call it Mirkwood either. Jay
Author's reply
Glad you read it--modern day/LOTR crossovers are not exactly my thing either. For the most part I write strictly to canon, or as close as I can get. I only do AU when my funny bone itches, and then I can't seem to help myself. Thanks for reviewing!
shirebound · 31 December 2003 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
Hah! I adore this. Let the telemarketers try -- they'll never reach the Dark Tower again! :)
Author's reply
Oooo, do you suppose we could arrange a direct line for telemarketers to Sauron, wherever he's gone? Seems a suitable link, on both sides.
JULES · 30 December 2003 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
HAHAHAHAH - Laughing all the way - very funny this one - especially after seeing the third movie. Great Job - love every minute of it - going to put one of these on my phone - just have to work out which one. JULES
Author's reply
Yes, Jules, I was waiting to post the final chapter until after the third movie came out. It seems a good way to end this bit of silliness!
Lindorien · 30 December 2003 · Chapter 12: The Dark Tower, F.A.
Oh dear. so simple. so sublime. You need to put the title of this chapter with the message because I was pretty much clueless until I went and checked the title of the chapter. But once it came clear. -- oh dear. so simple. so sublime. Lindorien
Author's reply
Ah, simplicity. It is a nice change for me. Sometimes my sentences are so long and complicated that they confuse even myself. Thanks for reviewing!
Lindorien · 30 December 2003 · Chapter 9: In the Golden Hall
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? Ain't no Corn in Middle-Earth, Ms. Lindelea, Only TATERS! Lindorien -- on a rolla rillo
Author's reply
Sorry, you must direct your comments to the Professor, it was his line, not mine! (Whew, dodged that one) Actually, in the King James Version of the Bible, the translators used "corn" to mean "grain", and that was in the 1600s sometime. JRRT's language sometimes reminds me of Shakespeare and KJV, though more often of Jane Austen for some reason. Guess "corn" came to mean "corn" or maize some time later. But then, you weren't looking for a serious answer at all, were you? *grin*
Lindorien · 30 December 2003 · Chapter 8: In the House of Tom Bombadil
Ho Linde, Lindelea, Lindelealillo I am Lindorien and me boots is yillo I have had Tom Bombadil until my head does swello So hie thee hence in recompense for review not written when first I was smitten by these messages silly I mean, Lindelea, rilly! You are making me rhyme I do it all the time Until it makes me nuts I better stop now. Suffice to say that at the end of the day These are FUNNY! Lindorien
Author's reply
Ho, Lindorien! Lindorie-illo! End of the day: that's the time to seek your pillow! Still, you have left us word, and you did it rhyming. Who are Tom and Lin and Goldie to complain of timing? p.s. Thanks for the review, though there is no rhythm or rhyme to this last line. Bowing to your poetical prowess!
Orophins Dottir · 30 December 2003 · Chapter 11: In the Halls of the Elven King
*Laughing hysterically* Oh, THANK YOU! The year 2003 is now well and truly complete for me. Excuse me, I must go tend my liege. I think he is strangling the butler and this could well lead to a morale problem with the rest of the staff. Please note, we have a special voice mailbox for Legolas sightings. Press * to override the main menu. Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil
Author's reply
Glad you saw it, since it mightn't have been written without your nudge. Happy New Year!
JULES · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 4: At the Tower of Barad-Dur
I love the - if you have a reported sighting of the ring-bearer. It would be hysterical to have these on our own private answering machines. Could you imagine the strange looks from family and friends - both having and not having seen the movie. Those who have seen it - she's obsessed again. Those who haven't seen it - what the hell??? Very entertaining - funny - hope you are going to have one individually for each of the other characters too. JULES
Coriel · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 11: In the Halls of the Elven King
Strange how I can see Thranduil on the phone! But I share his sentiment; Mirkwood really is an awful name, and if they've worked so hard to keep their region whole I think they would rather it bore its right name. Who keeps interrupting, by the way? :)
Author's reply
Who keeps interrupting? Take your pick. At our house it's any number of people, including the dog. The telephone seems to be a magnet; whenever I pick it up, hordes of people materialise from nowhere and begin to insist they must talk to me immediately.
Miriel · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 11: In the Halls of the Elven King
I really liked this one. Very hilarious.
Author's reply
Thanks, Miriel! Perhaps I ought to write one in Spanish so you can call this "homework". OTOH, it's hard enough to write in English. I cannot fathom the folk who are able to write in Elvish, however do they manage?
shirebound · 21 October 2003 · Chapter 6: Rivendell
Hah! This is my favorite one so far. :)
Author's reply
Ummm, must admit I kowtowed to a few elf-cliches here. (Elves are distant, unapproachable, something like that). I dunno (scratching head). They really don't read all that unapproachable in "The Hobbit" which we are re-reading at the moment.
shirebound · 21 October 2003 · Chapter 4: At the Tower of Barad-Dur
"If you are a Ringwraith reporting transportation problems, press 5." Hee hee!
Author's reply
Yes, I liked that touch. I can just imagine the flak they'd get, too. 'What? You lost your fell beast to an arrow that came out of nowhere? Tha'ts about as believable as losing your horse to the flood that came out of nowhere...'
Lindorien · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 10: Stupid LOTR phone trick (suitable for sleepovers)
This set me to chuckling. My favorite is Galadriel probing the depths of one's soul. Very funny idea -- wish I had thought of it!
Author's reply
What, not Tom Bombadil? O I forgot. Thanks for reviewing! Have to get back to HASA one day soon and see how that story is coming... you know, the Cliff Notes or whatever you call it. Wonderful, witty stuff!
Orophins Dottir · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 7: Lothlorien
Would you sue me if I put this one on my answering machine? These are very, very funny. You have to do one for Taur E-Ndaedelos! Mental vision of the none too patient Thranduil having to install one because his brat of a son is off on some stupid quest and not there to pick up the phone.
Author's reply
I won't sue, so long as the Tolkien foundation doesn't sue me! (If they do I'll be scrambling for cash...) I actually had a friend put one of these up as her away message, I forget which one it was, one of the first four, though. Thanks for asking.