She was there when I came ashore
So bright and beautiful
There was no shadow in her
Save in memory that my heart saw
It was past and the light shone through it
Had conquered it and
Exulted at the victory achieved over it
The light pierced me with understanding
Of how hard won it was through much darkness
A long lasting black night
Had driven her here just as it now drove me
But for her the dawn had come and would never fade
Her wounds were no more
Yet I knew from how my heart wept
That they once were near to mine
Yet now the light lived, thrived, and silently shouted its life
I wished to weep as well for its beauty
And be near it always
But she had not come for me
I stood by alone while she embraced her mother
Even though Bilbo stood at my side
And Gandalf not far behind
This was to be my home now
But would it be home
The light seemed unreachable
Even though it was near enough to touch
Would it wish to touch something as defiled as I was
Would it ever be mine
Or it would be forever so near but never my own
She looked then at me, lost and broken
Sad she was not to see her daughter
But she already knew I had come in place
Of that treasure so long missed
And she knew why
I flinched at that, so needful of her cleansing light
So afraid it would turn away
She saw the phial I held close
The gem around me neck that I fingered
She touched both in silent recognition
And then knelt before me and held her hand over mine
“I offer my service
To continue what my family has already done”
As she gathered me into her arms
I wept bitterly and without control at such a blessing
I hung on afraid I would utterly swept away if I did not
She wept with me
“Now I understand”
She said it almost to herself
“Now I understand”
It was a long time before I knew what she meant
But in time as she wrapped her spirit around mine
And spread her light around my darkness
As she pierced the shadows
And I was no longer afraid my defilement
Would spoil the beauty of her light
As she held me and told me of her torment
I knew she understood mine
She heard me words from me I could not speak to anyone else
I understood then as she gently probed my wounds
And drained the evil away
As the rents in my heart mended
And my spirit become whole again
That the fruit of her wounds was
So I could see that I could heal of mine
And so she could see in the easing of my agony
The worth in her own suffering
The realization of filled us both with dreadful awe
I knew I could never repay all she had given me
But she considered the bitter cost now sweet
We are bound together in a way nothing would ever sunder
First in agony, then in triumph over it
Sam was right
The Shadow is only a passing thing
Her victory over darkness gave birth to my own