MithLuin · 12 March 2007 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Oh, that was too funny! To know just who he was sneaking away from....
In The Pits Of Utumno by Jay of Lasgalen
Reviews (19)
Tari · 27 December 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
First you get us all worried and a little scared, and then you throw in a zinger. This was great! I'd love to read more about the adventures of these two rascals. You did a superb job.
demeter d · 31 July 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Except for the littlest flicker that the names were very familiar, the beginning totally drew me in. Then, I almost expected "Melkor" to be their Mother! Very nice! I first discovered Battles and Balrogs some time ago. That one, in fact, was one of the first fan-fic I had ever read. I enjoyed that one very much too!
paranoidangel · 22 May 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
I wondered why you weren't writing about the twins at first. But of course they'd try and act out the stories they'd heard. And Elrond as Melkor was great.
Author's reply
I sometimes wonder if the summary might put people off - it sounds very dark, and doesn't appear to have my usual characters. Elrond as Melkor was an afterthought - but I'm so glad I put it in!
LadyAranel · 8 May 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Ah, yes! I was gripped at first wondering what would happen. I thought the two seemed to know each other a bit better than 'friends', but there have been twins through the ages, have there not? I should have known better and that only you could do it so well. Brava!
Author's reply
*Grin* Thank you. I'm glad that you were pulled into the story! Though you should have known that I rarely write anyone other than the twins :>) (apart from the occasional Legolas or Thranduil story.)
elliska · 22 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Hehehe! Catching up with fanfic reading and this was great. Reading the first part I was thinking, 'wow, this is well done but so different from Jay's typical stuff.' I loved the ending. (Though I doubt Elrond would be amused by the role his sons assigned him!)
Author's reply
:>) I had fun writing this - making Utumno sound scary, but so that in hindsight it's clear it's really Imladris. I think Elrond (and certainly Celebrían!) would be quite amused by the description.
Laureleaf · 17 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
That was crazy! You could feel the stress and excitement, and the sudden change in the end had me laugh out loud (my 6 yr. old son asked how a computer could be so funny). I agree with Noor- I enjoy your teins and Legolas stories (even if they have to be short ones).
Author's reply
Thank you - I wanted lots of tension at the beginning during the 'rescue', and then the very swift turnaround at the end. I'm glad it worked so well! I'm glad you like the stories. I seem to write about the twins most of the time, but with some Legolas and Thranduil as well. If only I had more time to write!
Noor · 12 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Great lighthearted story! Thank you. Are you going to write any longer ones again - with the twins and Legolas?? Noor
Author's reply
I'm glad you liekd this. I'm concentrating on short stories like this at the moment, or stories of just a few chapters - I simply don't have time to write the really long, involved tales now. The twins and Legolas will always be around somewhere, though.
Vendetta · 6 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
LOL that totally had me going until the end. What a great way to learn history. I wish they used it more in schools. It'd be funny to see how Elrond and Celebrían reacted to "Melkor".
Author's reply
Elrond might not be impressed, but I think Celebrían would be highly amused! I think it would be fun for young elves to learn history (especially these two) - it's their own family they're learning about a lot of the time.
Larner · 4 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Now, I HADN'T seen THAT coming! Twins playing at history here, and Erestor having to run interference. Oh, how wonderful!
Author's reply
The twins like to role-play the history they've just learned :>) I think it's much better that rote-learning names and dates. I'm glad the ending surprised you!
Bow the Bardman · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Okay. That ending was totally unexpected. At first it seemed serious until the two guys ran into Erestor. At the end, I understood that this is as great as... well, some of the other stories I've been reading which are the best. Sincerely, Bow the Bardman
Author's reply
It was meant to be unexpected! I'm glad you were caught up in the original tale - I tried to make that as tense as possible, which wouldn't have been possible if readers had known the identity of the prisoner and rescuer. Thanks for reviewing.
French Pony · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Ah, them krazy kiddies is at it again. . . The twins are quite inventive with their games, aren't they? Elrond must be tearing his hair out at Glorfindel's teaching style.
Author's reply
I think Glorfindel's way of teaching history is quite effective - there's no harm done, and they'll remember his lessons! I'm not sure Elrond would be keen to be cast as Melkor, though.
Dot · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Oh, this is excellent! I read the summary and thought this was a departure for you – I should have known! You totally got me – though I did think Elatan was an odd name! – but I went back and re-read it and can see the clues now. How clever you are!! I love the “El” slip. And it was gripping stuff too before I knew what was going on! I laughed aloud when Elladan just decides to give in and explain to Erestor. It was certainly some unexpected amusement for him anyway! At least Glorfindel’s lessons seem to be having an impact, though – right?! The funniest thing was Elrond as Melkor!! ROTFL. I don’t think he’d appreciate that, somehow! Although, Erestor seemed to :-) Brilliant!
Author's reply
I couldn't put too much in the summary, or it would have given the game away - but I didn't want to put people off reading! In the end, explaining to Erestor was the only option. They wouldn't lie, and to continue pretending would have made him highly suspicious that they were up to no good. They got away with it, anyway!
Ellie · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
LOL! This is great! I had thought that the names seemed a little similar to the El squared, but then I thought that maybe this was written in a hurry and you were grasping for names. I LOVED the ending! What a hoot! I'm going to print this so my impressionable young sons who successfully lost the One Ring in the family room sofa can read it, too. They will love it! (I'll try to get one of them to review too, if possible so you get the under 12 perspective on your tale). Bravo! Well done!
Author's reply
:>) I hope I'm never that lazy in picking names! I needed names similar to the twins', so that the 'El' slip of the tongue wasn't too out of place. I do hope your sons enjoy it - they sound like Tolkien fans too! And it would be great if you could get them to review - I'm out of touch with that age group's POV.
Kitty · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Jay, that was insidious! One moment I felt so sorry for the two friends that they were caught, and then - Erestor! Well, I should've known it, I had wondered why the prisoner was able to walk unaided at all - I should heed the little voice in the back of my head, at least if it comes to certain ff-authors! ;-) The end was rather hilarious. So it was Glorfindel's fault once again? Well, his way of teaching history seems to have its merits. As long as the twins act it out as role play, they will remember what they've learned, I'd think!
Author's reply
There were one or two little hints - the accidental reference to 'El', the fact that the twins nearly always turn up my my stories - but I'm glad it fooled you! Erestor will enjoy this - he'll tease the twins, Glorfindel, and 'Melkor' for a long time!
Bodkin · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
What a delightful story! It's just so typical of children to play out the tales they are told - and Glorfindel can certainly tell some amazing stories. I love the way Elladan sneaked across the Hall of Fire to find Elrohir artistically arranged on a pile of rags. (Rags? That I question. I wonder who will find the dishevelled pile of clean laundry.) And that he kept his smalls on! Naked is as naked does - and elflings don't do naked! The performance was beautifully done - right up to the moment Erestor inconsiderately got in the twins' way and broke the mood. Didn't he enjoy it, though. I'm sure he'll get a great deal of fun out of this - and I wonder how long it will take to get back to Glorfindel... and Melkor! Very enjoyable story, Jay. I'm left with a big smile.
Author's reply
I think Elrohir is rather more patient than his twin, but he'd make sure he was warm and comfortable while he waited for Elladan to rescue him. The 'filthy rags' will turn out to be some snug blankets. And he wouldn't prance around the main halls stark naked, not even for Elladan! Erestor will savour this - and reveal Melkor's identity at the most inopportune moment!
Lianna · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
“El – Elendur?” Such an obvious hint, and I missed it completely. I should have realized that this was really a story about the twins playing. You fooled me, Jay. And probably a lot of other people. The twins may drive the adults of Imladris crazy, but I love their way of learning about history. When they hear Glorfindel's stories and then turn them into pretend games, they really understand how it felt to live through historical events. I wish kids today had a chance to learn that way instead of memorizing facts and dates from textbooks.
Author's reply
It was difficult to remember to write Elatan and Elendur in the first part of this, and I had to keep checking I'd got the right alias :>) It's easy for the twins to learn about history - they just go and ask someone who was there! I'm glad it fooled you. I tried to pitch the summary so that it didn't give anything away, but wouldn't put people off, either.
harrowcat · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
P.s. Have you written about the twins vs the Balrog? - yet? If not then when?
Author's reply
Yes - that story is 'Of Balrogs And Battles', and is also here on SoA: http://www.storiesofarda.com/chapterlistview.asp?SID=2608 That story is set a few months before this one. Glorfindel has a lot to answer for!
harrowcat · 3 April 2006 · Chapter 1: In The Pits Of Utumno
Oh this is great jay! I was wondering how you would handle such a tale in one chapter and then we got to the second half! *g* And Elrond as Melkor !!!!! I was laughing so hard I got into trouble as I am reading at work! Ooops
Author's reply
Whoops - sorry I got you into trouble! Glad you liked it, though. I thought the rating might give it away, but hopefully no-one will notice that. Elrond as Melkor. *Grin* I wonder if Erestor will ever tell him??