Reviews (31)

Hobbitgirl · 14 January 2007 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

This was just gloriously side-splitting, yet also often wonderfully tongue-in-cheek-y. My favorite parts may have been the orc-baths and Merry accidentally killing the witch king. I read most of it to my younger brother (who's taller than me and thus has similarities with the giant dwarf). We both laughed and giggled and gave each other knowing looks when we got a joke. I'm glad Sam was so nice to Gollum. They really do have more in common than they knew, what with liking food so well (albeit different sorts). The seedcakes/fishcakes did nicely to help tie the chapters together. The epelogue was especially ominous... That palantir stuck on repeat had to come back, didn't it? Dundunduuu.... Poor Fatty. Bravo, and three cheers, and cozy slippers, and many fried fish and seedcakes to the talented and humor-filled writer!

Hobbitgirl · 14 January 2007 · Chapter 1: Eight o'clock and the Road is Long

Muhahaha, how hilarious! Before I read on, I must say that my family talked about this recently. Why didn't they go via eagle? Dealing with it humerously was a great idea. I love your irony and artfully inserted movie lines.

Edlyn · 28 December 2006 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

This story was an absolute hoot! My ribs hurt from laughing and I think my fce is going to split from the grin on my face. Very, very funny! Edlyn

Shann · 1 December 2006 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

You know, never really thought of it, but it really would have been so much faster to just have the eagles drop it, pick up Frodo (maybe Sam) and fly them over to Mordor, wouldn't it have? But my gosh, this was hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud as I read it! My favorite would have been the somewhat revised version of "I Spy" Merry and Pippin were playing, and them being called the "cousin creatures." Lovely story, very well written & exceptionally funny. ~Shann

Armariel · 25 June 2006 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........this is a scream......fishcakes YUCK!!! Exciting day indeed! We loves it preciousssss!!! Perfect! ~~~{~@

Dreamflower · 24 June 2006 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

Sam was about to entreat the gangling creature to have mercy upon them all and let Frodo dispose of his burden, when another terrifying cry rent the molten gas plumed air. "Oh for Pity's sake!" Sam momentarily closed his eyes and muttered a quick prayer for forgiveness to whoever had the power to grant such things, then grabbed his Master and the creature by the necks and banged their heads together. He then prised their fists apart to reveal the One Ring, lying glinting in the red glow of the raging furnace and, with a flick of his finger, sent It flying into the river of lava below. A fitting end. I could just imagine that. And Freddy, up in the Brockenbores? Hmm...you did say "The End". Didn't you? And it most certainly was quicker...

GamgeeFest · 24 June 2006 · Chapter 6: With Eggsies and Flowers and Fish

LOL. That ending with Fatty was excellent! And Sam and Gollum making fishcakes - I knew those crazy kids could get along if they just gave it a chance. :) Brilliantly finished!

MarigoldG · 22 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

My favourite bit of this chapter, as you know, is this: "I thought you were enjoying yourselves," Aragorn said patiently, "you liked the dead people – now didn't you?" "Yes," Pippin conceded, "but they didn't do much. I mean, you just released them from their oath and then they all ran away!" And I love all of Boromir’s achievements and that Gollum knows who Tom Bombadil is, and Merry and Pippin’s inability to remember the name of Andúril, Flame of the West! The accidental slaying of the Witch-king is wonderful, and I also really like Gorawen’s name for them, “small cousin creatures”! This is such a great paragraph: "I am not sure which of the small cousin creatures caused the dropping and the killing," Gorawen explained, "but they seem to have fulfilled an ancient prophesy, eliminated a powerful enemy and earned lasting fame and renown, although they might have just been messing about."

MarigoldG · 22 June 2006 · Chapter 4: Shiny Larksong or Bravely Goodheart?

This just might be my favourite chapter! I love every bit of it, especially with Wormtongue! His decision to change his name is inspired, because you are right, what would folks naturally expect from a character named Grima Wormtongue! This is such a great bit, I can just see him: "Grima – Grima Wormtongue – and yes, I am a baddie. The name is a bit of a giveaway don't you think?" The man pushed his lank greasy hair back from his pus-soaked eyes, "I was thinking of changing it to something else. Maybe Shiny Larksong, or Bravely Goodheart, you know, just to throw people off a bit. What do you think?" I am looking forward to the other idea you had for Grima’s choice of good-guy names! And I love Pippin’s marble! And Boromir and Denethor, and Saruman's lack of interest in the whole thing, and Sauron...everything about it really : )

MarigoldG · 22 June 2006 · Chapter 3: That's Elevenses? Right?

Once again this chapter has some great dialogue! Gems like: "Well Sam," Frodo began gently, "I don't really want you to pick It up, but you are welcome to keep me company." and "Well Sam," Frodo sighed, "it's just you and me then. May the others find a safe road! Strider will look after them. I don't suppose we will see them again." "Yet we may, Mr Frodo. We may," said Sam. "Besides, you've invited Merry and Pippin to come over for their tea this evening and I've never known them to miss that!" And as always your Gollum voice is spot on!

MarigoldG · 22 June 2006 · Chapter 2: I Think It's a Kind of Bath

Pippin’s lack of tact while dangling from the talons of a giant eagle is wonderful! And I love that eagles hate to stop and ask for directions. I also especially like Gandalf worrying so about the time. My favourite lines from this chapter are: “…That, and I was on my way to the Prancing Pony, but it can wait." "Or we could all go to the Prancing Pony!" Pippin suggested hopefully. "You know, just to get acquainted over a pint or two." "Aragorn this is Peregrin Took, Peregrin Took, this is Aragorn. How did that need a pint?" Gandalf made the rest of the introductions, "now left or right at the next mountain?" And as I have told you several times already, and can’t say enough, I think that the dauntless Uruks plunging mindlessly into the River is terrific!

Blossom · 19 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

This is brilliant! I am so enjoying reading this alternative LOTR. You should contact Nick Parks & get him to make a Wallace & Gromit-like animation of it for the evenings we don't quite have time to watch Peter Jackson's version. I'm still trying to find something you've missed out for your competition! Keep writing :) Blossom

Elemmírë · 19 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

Snort. Very clever killing of the Witch King. LOL Anduril, being referred to as: Advil, famous and best--had me laughing so hard. Can't wait for the next chapter!

SurgicalSteel · 18 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

*giggles* That was just too funny!

Dreamflower · 18 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

I have to say, you have bravely tackled one of the most controversial questions of LotR fandom (second only to Balrog wings) and are showing conclusively why JRRT refused Eagle Transport to the Fellowship in the first place. It most certainly is quicker, and no doubt he did not want to spoil his chances of a huge epic, spanning the course of over a year. Three books make a lot more royalties than one. I applaud your courage.

GamgeeFest · 18 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

Accidental slaying of the Witch King? hehehe I can see Merry and Pippin being this annoying and not even realizing it. :) Sauron's not having a good day is he?

Linda Hoyland · 17 June 2006 · Chapter 5: Where Are My Armies?

Just hilarious !

GamgeeFest · 17 June 2006 · Chapter 4: Shiny Larksong or Bravely Goodheart?

LOL! Oh Sam! I do love him, but he can blather at times. I love the eagles' obsession with seedcake - must be the equivalant of pipeweed to them. Grima's new name is hilarious as was all the makeover talk. He is one person in desperate need of a facial. ;)

GamgeeFest · 17 June 2006 · Chapter 3: That's Elevenses? Right?

Oh yes! You must have elevenses before attempting to save the world. Don't the Big People know anything? :) And I'm not a fan of Gollum by a long shot, but I can't wait to see what you do with him here! A marvellous introduction. I loved this part best: "Oh before you go," Galadriel clapped her hand to her head in sudden remembrance, "something I had to tell you. You've been promoted." "Really?" Gandalf's face broke into a wide grin, "I was hoping for something soon, but thought I'd have to die or kill something big first." ROTF! This is all so tongue-in-cheek! I love it!!

GamgeeFest · 17 June 2006 · Chapter 2: I Think It's a Kind of Bath

I love Boromir's indignation at having his horn taken away. Legolas with elf myopia and being led astray by Gimli is inspired. The hobbits rifling through Boromir's things was so very hobbity. I'm sure Meneldor will be happy to get rid of Merry and Pippin. The Uruk-Hai were never very bright, were they. :)

GamgeeFest · 17 June 2006 · Chapter 1: Eight o'clock and the Road is Long

LOL. This is hilarious. I especially loved this part: "Will I need my frying pan?" "No." No, but he will need rope - to tie himself and Frodo to the eagle, in case they fall. ;) I also love your Maggot. Perfectly clueless. And the Black Riders as potential buyers for Bag End is an interesting and funny thought.

Marigold · 15 June 2006 · Chapter 1: Eight o'clock and the Road is Long

I am so glad that you have finally sat down and finished this story! I think that it is very lucky that Tolkien didn't think of this (or if he did he cleverly said nothing)! I am really glad that you thought of it though, and I have laughed and laughed! There are so many things that I would like to quote and praise but there is just no room. But I would like to mention; the bit about Frodo and Gandalf and the cakes, Farmer Maggot's character, and Sam turning around to find an eagle in the garden, but as you know my favourite bit in this chapter is this: "Hours of endless entertainment may be obtained from a raw carrot," Merry puffed. "Don't talk – run!" "And why…why did we need so many squishy tomatoes?" Pippin could feel them oozing into his britches already. "We could have got a firmer variety." "No – they have… to… squelch!" Merry insisted between pants. His breath was almost spent. "And I still don't see… the point… of the goat." Pippin generally tolerated Merry's eccentricities – he was half Took after all – but there were times when he pushed it to the limit. "Pip, you've got to have a goat!" Merry was too exasperated to hyperventilate now, regardless of how out of breath he was from running, "what's the point without a goat?" I find all of that section brilliantly, incredibly funny! Thanks for writing this!

Armariel · 14 June 2006 · Chapter 4: Shiny Larksong or Bravely Goodheart?

heheheheh....we loves it! More, more! LOL@ Saruman writing his autobiography and Pippin's marbles..........

Armariel · 14 June 2006 · Chapter 1: Eight o'clock and the Road is Long

hehehe this is cute...an interesting take, indeed! And I like Tom Bombadill's rhymes.......LOLOL Clever!!

Raksha The Demon · 14 June 2006 · Chapter 1: Eight o'clock and the Road is Long

Friends in high places - heeeee! Well, why didn't they do this in the first place?! Excellent beginning! Sounds like a wonderful road trip with wings.