Earosse · 10 April 2009 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
If you want a REALLY chaotic lawsuit, find some reason for Thranduil to sue Gloin or vice versa... Then appoint Legolas and Gimli as two of the jurors
Comes Now The Plaintiff, Frodo Baggins.. by Edoraslass
Reviews (23)
Earosse · 2 April 2009 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
This is absolutely hilarious. I love it.
Violin Ghost · 16 April 2007 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
This was just... too much. It was genius. Pure genius. I was rolling around laughing in my seat the whole time I was reading this. My brothers are still giving me strange looks. Loved it!
Author's reply
Thank you! Hey, it's easier to put up with strange looks than to try and laugh quietly sometimes. :)
kaitokitty · 5 October 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Absolutely brilliant!!!! This thing sent me chuckling/coughing for quite a while... I love how you tracked down all the names / nicknames of the participants. And just imagine how many possible lawsuits there are as a result from the war...the list goes on forever! ;)
Author's reply
You just know this suit is going to drag on until Aragorn's grandson is on the throne. :) Thank you!
Gentle Hobbit · 22 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
I really enjoyed this -- had a good laugh! Poor Frodo. Quite a list of grievances there. I hope that there might be a follow-up to this in which judgement is made and documented!
Author's reply
There might even be an addendum, when Frodo remembers more of the horrible damage they inflicted! Thanks!
Westwindschild · 21 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
This is the funniest thing I've read in quite a while! ROFLMAO! Poor Frodo; he certainly has quite a case against these 3 miscreants! Note: in item 15, you have "Aragorn son of Aragorn".
Author's reply
Well, they're all pretty irresponsible, y'know. *snort* Thanks! And thanks for the catch on the typo - it's not just Aragorn and his father; I'm all the time typing "Theodred" when I mean "Theoden".
lbilover · 21 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
ROFL!! This is totally brilliant and hysterically funny!! Are you a lawyer in RL? It reads like a real document!! Thank you so much for this.
Author's reply
Nope, just worked in a law office for a couple of years. :) Thanks so much!
Linda Hoyland · 20 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Very clever,skillfully written and amusing.Would any destroy the Ring in this day and age?
Author's reply
Heee -- they'd want to build some sort of specially made vault to keep it in - "Well, we might need it one day!" Thanks!
quendria · 17 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
What a wonderful piece!...I love it!!.....Q
Author's reply
Thanks! :)
Armariel · 17 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
*snicker* *snerk* *giggle* "Stone Old Guy in the Hat" I do hope he has a good lawyer......hehehehe.... ROFLMAO!!! Sincerely, RoZ aka Armariel aka RoZita aka 'Zita Warrior Princess aka Iron Bess Kidd (pirate alter ego) aka Zsa Zsa Girdlebuns aka......................
Author's reply
I do hope he has a good lawyer......hehehehe.... I wonder if Elrond's licenced to practice in Gondor..:) Thanks!
Larner · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Hilarious, but an all too common scenario for our current world.
Author's reply
And the amount of time some of those suits go on is utterly ridiculous, too. Thanks!
Rugi · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Okay. As a law student I am: 1. Blown away by the perfect structure and formatting of the complaint. 2. Loving everyone's aka's - particularly "Frankie the Hammer of Pelargir." 3. Thinking you should add a complaint of false imprisonment to the complaint against Faramir - though I suppose he was acting in his capacity as an official as Gondor so maybe not - but I think you may have a case since it was arguable at the time whether Ithilien was actually part of Gondor at the time. 4. Giggling in a nerdy law student way.
Author's reply
Blown away by the perfect structure and formatting of the complaint. Two years working in a law firm typing and filing pleadings has got to be useful for something, doesn't it? :) I actually tried to cut down on the normal repetition and restatement of everything! I think you may have a case since it was arguable at the time whether Ithilien was actually part of Gondor at the time. *giggle* That's a good point - if the forces of Darkness considered Ithilien theirs at that time, they could bring action for trespass against Frodo, and also sue Faramir for exertion of unlawful authority outside of his jurisdiction. There might also be some war-time laws come into play. :) Thanks, Rugi!
Antane · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Too bad he can't sue those really responsible - Isildur for not destroying the Ring and Sauron for making it in the first place. Namarie, God bless, Antane :)
Author's reply
HA, sue Sauron! Or if it went movie!verse, sue Elrond for failing to keep Isildur from throwing it into Mordor. :) Thanks!
SurgicalSteel · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Oh. My. *wipes tears from eyes* Absolutely hilarious - and Frodo definitely deserves compensation. Oh, I look forward to seeing more of this.
Author's reply
I hadn't really planned on doing more - it's tiring, being all quasi-legal! :) But thank you - poor Frodo should get something to ease a bit of his pain.
Fiondil · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
I wonder if they were forced to change the venue to Umbar? 18. Defendant Aragorn then insisted that Plaintiff Baggins and his party accompany him to Rivendell, aka Imladris, aka The Last Homely House (“Rivendell”). Fearing for his safety and life, Plaintiff Baggins agreed. During said journey, Plaintiff Baggins was forced to subsist on less than four meals a day and to sleep on the ground, even though there are many reputable cafes and restaurants, as well as snug, cozy hotels and bed-and-breakfast establishments along their chosen route to Rivendell. Some nights, Plaintiff Baggins was not even allowed a fire and was verbally abused when requests for such warmth were made. You forgot to add: "Plaintiff Baggins was then forced to listen to Defendant Aragorn sing off-key some interminable lay about a dead Elvish princess in a language he didn't know for several nights running." Now that's truly a case for mental anguish. :) Excellent, Edoralass. Having spent three years reading boring law cases in law school, I really got a kick out of all the legalese. I want to read the transcript of the trial if it ever becomes public.
Author's reply
I wonder if they were forced to change the venue to Umbar? AhahahahahahahaHA...wow, that's a thought. They sure couldn't change it to the Shire, could they? Thanks! I just took a look at some pleadings for an old harassment case the firm had, and used that basic format (and some of the wording) so it would look as legal as possible. You're right - BORing.
Baggins Babe · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
I nearly fell off my chair giggling at this! Loved the legal jargon. I've often thought that Frodo should have sued those who sent him to Mordor - the ultimate 'Holiday from Hell' I think! I agree with Dreamflower - Elrond should be on the list - medical malpractice and coercion - telling Frodo that the task was his. *giggle* *snerk*
Author's reply
Oh, Frodo's suing everyone. Too bad none of it will be settled before he goes into the West. :) Thanks!
Dreamflower · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Oh, golly! ROTFL! This just had me rolling! I can just imagine! I'm surprised that Elrond was not included (medical malpractice--obviously the removal of the Morgul shard was ultimately ineffective) and Galadriel (for that mental invasion). And just to complicate things further, perhaps Paladin Took will press kidnapping charges over the removal of his underage son from the Shire... *snort*chuckle*wheeze* Oh,the possibilties!
Author's reply
Elrond and Galadriel would be a whole nother suit - probably has to be taken to Elven courts, after all. :) Thanks!
Jay of Lasgalen · 16 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
*grin* This was fun! I liked all the legalese and jargon. I don't blame Frodo at all - he deserves compensation for all he's been through. I've forwarded this to a friend who's a lawyer, a writer, and a Tolkien fan - I think he'll like it! Jay
Author's reply
It was certainly fun writing it! And yeah, poor Frodo didn't even get a bit of treasure from a dragon's hoarde. *tear* Thanks, Jay!
Raksha The Demon · 15 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Ouch - EL, you are very evil, subjecting Our Heroes to the foulest machinations of an evil greater than all the Nine - Lawyers! I loved it. Excellent knowledge of legal language, including the proper signs. Gandalf a.k.a. Magneto - heeeee! Great allusion to Ian McKellan's other fantasy movie trilogy role. Aragorn a.k.a. Frankie "The Hammer" of Pelargir? Is there something JRRT forgot to put in the Appendices? Poor Faramir - he's called the Spare. Evil, evil lawyers! (well, one of them's a Sandyman!)
Author's reply
When Nazgul lose their horses, they become....LAWYERS. :) The third defendant was going to be "All Surviving Members of the House of Hurin, aka 'Faramir'". :) Thanks, Raksha! Who knew typing up boring legal documents would come in handy one day?
speckled_llama · 15 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
This is one of the best pieces of humor that I have ever read! I always had problems with Faramir's anger at Gollum- the boundaries *weren't* marked, as you said! And the language is so realistic, too! Are you a law student?
Author's reply
Yeah, they could have at least warned them - "You shall not pass!" Nope, not a law student - I just worked at a law firm for two years, and typed up a LOT of things like this. :) Thanks!
GamgeeFest · 15 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
being held hostage for as unspecified period by an individual of questionable mental health called “Tom Bombadil”, ROTFLMAO Questionable mental health indeed! In fact, I think that's an understatement. The various lists of damages were humorous also, as were the references to all the other pending lawsuits.
Author's reply
Wouldn't you like to see Tom Bombadil testify? *snort* Thanks!
Grey Wonderer · 15 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
Right from the beginning with the listing of Aragorn's many names this is nothing short of brilliant! I adored every word and how often can anyone say that about a legal action? LOL
Author's reply
And I'm willing to bet I even missed a name or two! Thanks!
shirebound · 15 September 2006 · Chapter 1: Intial Complaint
This is absolute and utter genius. 31. Defendant Faramir also willfully and maliciously allowed a member of Plaintiff Baggins’ party to enter a restricted area, then threatened said party member with death, even though the borders of said area were not clearly marked. These actions are in clear and obvious violation of 14 G.A.C. § 964 and 27 G.A.C. § 593. Beautifully written, Edoraslass.... err, I mean Sandyman! Counsel is going to collect a fat retainer after the sympathetic jury awards Plaintiff Baggins a dragon's hoard of gold for all this. *applauds*
Author's reply
Thanks! I always thought it was a bit unfair to not at least have some sort of "no trespassing" sign up!