French Pony
· 8 January 2007
· Chapter 5: Darkness Endures
Meanwhile, back at the battle. . .
Elrohir has a great sense of discipline to follow Glorfindel's orders and leave his twin and Estel behind, even for a moment. Yet Glorfindel has a point. The danger is not yet over, and must be dealt with before anything else. Put on your own oxygen mask before aiding the child next to you.
Finally, Elrohir figured out that he had to bring the troll down before he could kill it. I take it that these Elves don't have a whole lot of experience fighting trolls, or they would have figured this out long ago and worked out a system to trip trolls as soon as the battle began.
Author's reply
I think that not only does Elrohir have a great sense of discipline, but he also has common sense, and, despite his desperation to reach his brothers, he can understand the futility of trying to do it on his own.
I don't think that the elves fight trolls on a daily or even yearly basis, but they do have some experience. I am sure that they were trying, but I think that tripping a troll is really easier said than done. ;-)
Thanks for reviewing,
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 8 January 2007
· Chapter 5: Darkness Endures
I liked the conflict between Glorfindel and Elrohir over whether to leave the cave in site and rejoin the battle. They're both obviously horrified by what's happened to Elladan and Estel, but Glorfindel's longer years show as opposed to Elrohir's tighter tie to his brother.
I also liked the point that Elrohir and the troll were both fierce in battle because of harm to a brother.
Author's reply
Thanks for taking the time to review, daw, and thank you for pointing out what you liked about this chapter. Yes, they are both horrified, but of course, Glorfindel must act like the commander that he is.
I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.
peredhil lover
Bodkin
· 7 January 2007
· Chapter 4: The Dark of Night
Such a good thing that Estel got Elladan out when he did! And he did a tremendous job with the healing - not just at the laying on of hands level, but also with the more practical aspects of looking after someone under less than ideal conditions. Elrond will be proud of him.
And the message has been hammered into Elladan's head that perhaps there is more to Estel than he thought. Which is probably a good thing.
But we don't want them running out of air now! Although Elrohir will be glad to feel his brother's fea and know that he lives.
Author's reply
Thanks for taking the time to review, Bodkin. You're right-- Estel is certainly getting the chance to prove himself and lucky for Elladan he is doing such a good job of it. I do think Elrond will be most proud.
I think that Elladan is learning a great deal from this experience, as we will see a little in later chapters. As for how Elrohir is doing, that is in the next chapter, which should be up soon.
peredhil lover
Nilmandra
· 6 January 2007
· Chapter 4: The Dark of Night
Forcing Estel and Elladan together like this might do wonders for their relationship. I'm curious about Estel's healing abilities. I never thought of him having much innate skills, at least this early in life. He was able to do a little for Frodo on the way to Rivendell, but not as much as Glorfindel did, or Elrond, of course, but I see their skills being a little magical in that Tolkien magical sort of way (ie related to their existence and tie to Arda, and the knoweldge of separation of soul and body which is more profound than what men were given). I'll be curious to see where you take this, if this is a one time event, sort of a divine intervention, or the start of him developeing the healing hands of the king in a rather earth shaking (at least for these two!) way.
Nonetheless, the relationship of these two is important and now Elladan is dependent on him and seeing Estel as more of an adult. I like also that he has this flash of vision showing him Aragorn's future, and his role beside that man and future king.
Author's reply
The evolution of Elladan and Estel's relationship will be a gradually process (and I have a lot of ideas in mind for them), but this is certainly a big push in the right direction.
There will be more about Estel's new-found abilities in future chapters. I'm glad that you liked Elladan's vision, as I wasn't sure how people would react to it and it will come up again too.
Thanks for reviewing Nilmandra.
peredhil lover
French Pony
· 5 January 2007
· Chapter 4: The Dark of Night
Elladan is one lucky guy, that he is. Good for him that he recognizes this, and also that he recognizes the debt he owes to Estel. Estel is level-headed in a crisis, which is probably the best of his qualities. Yes, great warrior. Yes, healing ability. But the ability to keep one's head and think in a difficult situation -- Kipling was correct when he identified that as a marker of manhood. Estel definitely has it in spades.
Although I am a little worried about him. He has a head injury, and he keeps falling asleep. This is Not A Good Thing.
Author's reply
I'm glad to see you stuck with the story, French Pony.
Elladan is pretty lucky isn't he? I agree completely with you--being able to keep your head in a crisis is definitely the most important ability in a leader, and Estel is certainly getting to display his leadership qualities here.
Thanks again for reviewing.
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 5 January 2007
· Chapter 4: The Dark of Night
Interesting healing scene. Is Aragorn able to do that because he is the chosen one, the one destined to be king? Or do you see all healing in ME working with a sort of magic like that? What's the source of the healing, I wonder? Magic in Tolkien's world is usually kind of understated and matter-of-fact, and I wonder what he conceived of as its spring.
The role reversal between Estel and Elladan is certainly teaching Elladan something about this young man he's helped raise. No wonder Elrond decides he's come early to manhood.
Author's reply
Some of the questions you raise will be addressed, to some extent, in a later chapter, and possibly future stories, but I will say that I did not conceive of Aragorn's healing gift as "magic", nor do I see all healing in ME working like that.
I think that I will enjoy putting a little bit of a different spin on things than how they are commonly conceived, but I will always try to remain firmly rooted in Tolkien's canon, as that very much matters to me.
Thank you for reviewing, daw, I appreciate it very much.
peredhil lover
Bodkin
· 4 January 2007
· Chapter 3: Twilight
I love the contrast between Elladan and Glorfindel - and the totally adult and powerful twins, who nonetheless are, particularly in Elrohir's case, able to nurture a youth on the verge of manhood.
While the candle-decorated pastry - is a great almost-joke of a celebration that still acknowledges an important milestone in Estel's progress to becoming Aragorn.
Being under an avalanche of rock, though, sounds a bit of an extreme way for Elladan and Estel to do a bit of male bonding! I hope neither of them is too badly hurt! Good fight, though - and I could see Estel learning and growing as he confronted the trolls!
Good story.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing, Bodkin. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far.
The little birthday celebration is a favourite scene of mine--while it was too good an opportunity to tease Estel for the elves to pass up, it does, I hope, show how much they do care about him as well as marking that important milestone in Estel's growth.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the battle scene in this chapter. You are quite right, it is an extreme way to get a bit of male bonding, but it might be just what is required to get stubborn ol' Elladan thinking a little differently. As for how badly hurt Elladan and Estel are, the next chapter should be up soon.
Thanks for the kind words.
peredhil lover
Raksha The Demon
· 4 January 2007
· Chapter 2: Dawn
I liked the quarrel between Glorfindel and Elladan; surely there would be occasional friction between some elves.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing, Raksha, I really appreciate it.
I do believe there is a fairly extensive history of elves who didn't get along with each other, isn't there?
While they don't always see eye to eye, I do think that deep down Glorfindel and Elladan really do care about each other, so hopefully there won't be any kinslaying here. ;-)
peredhil lover
Raksha The Demon
· 4 January 2007
· Chapter 3: Twilight
Very exciting, and believable, battle with the trolls! But did you have to end the chapter with a cliffhanger?
Author's reply
Thanks, Raksha, I'm glad that you found the battle exciting and believable.
As a relatively new writer, I wanted to try my hand at a cliffhanger. It does seem to motivate people to leave more reviews, so I can see the appeal from a writers point of view. ;-)
peredhil lover
French Pony
· 3 January 2007
· Chapter 3: Twilight
The situation here is tense and dangerous, and I enjoyed seeing Estel, having learned the theory of troll-fighting, now having to translate that into actual practice. It is indeed true that the two are distinct, especially for something like sword fighting. I also enjoyed the little glimpses inside the troll's mind (such as it is), as it hunts the squeaky little things with the pointy sticks.
I did feel that the writing was slower and perhaps clunkier than it could have been, especially describing a scene that seems to play out in only a few minutes. I didn't get much of a sense of what the Elves were actually doing to the troll, nor a sense of scale between them and the troll. Battle writing is difficult, but I think that more of a focus on showing rather than telling, perhaps by describing the effects of actions rather than the reasons for them, might help smooth this out.
Author's reply
Thanks for taking the time to review, I always like to get feedback.
This is the first battle scene that I have ever written, and I freely admit that I find much greater pleasure in exploring characters and relationships than writing action scenes.
However, I've had a lot a reviews and you are the first one to describe the writing in this chapter as "slower." Many have said they found the battle to be quite fast paced and felt themselves drawn into the action. No one is right, of course. Everyone simply has their own opinion. I find it most fascinating, and I think I will love to explore it in my writing--how vastly different each person's perspectives can be to the same information.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you stick with the story and enjoy the next chapter more.
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 2 January 2007
· Chapter 3: Twilight
Good battle scene between overwhelming brawn and clever agility. Battle scenes can be hard to write but I think this one was nicely done. You kept us focused on Estel mostly and that made it all personal.
Author's reply
Having never written a battle scene, or really any action scenes, before, I wasn't looking forward to it, and I'm glad to hear that you think it turned out well.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
peredhil lover
Nilmandra
· 2 January 2007
· Chapter 3: Twilight
The battle scene was well orchestrated, and I liked seeing Estel's thoughts as he realized he could evade the creature, as well as when he realized he and Elladan could work together. The shifting POV tend to work well in this situation, I think, as it keeps the chapter fast paced and gives a better picture of events.
And that was a great deed, indeed! Estel brought down the troll - poetic justice, since they killed his grandfather. Glad to see Elladan proud of him, even if he has saved him twice. We all need someone to watch our backs. Somehow I think Elladan is the one who will need the help now.
Author's reply
Having written only a couple of short fics before this one, both of which focused almost completely on relationships, I was not relishing the thought of trying to write a battle scene. I'm so pleased to hear that you think it turned out well.
I think you may be right about Elladan needing help, and just maybe Estel will get a chance to save him for once. ;)
I really appreciate and enjoy your reviews.
peredhil lover
French Pony
· 2 January 2007
· Chapter 2: Dawn
I came here on a recommendation, and I'm glad that I did. This has a wonderful sense of atmosphere. I especially like that you build it through the characters' interactions rather than in an information dump at the beginning of the story. Elladan and Elrohir come across as two different people here, which is also a plus in my book, and Estel seems believable as a young man just past being a teenager. He may not care for birthday parties any more, but food and sleep are always welcome.
Author's reply
Thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
I'm so glad that you are enjoying the story, particularly my portrayal of the twins and Estel.
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 1: The First Day of March
I'm replying to your reply, PL. Hope you don't mind. I just had to confess that I laughed because I sure did misread Arador's age when he died. I somehow read it as he was 21 at the time and I thought, wow, that's a baby in Dunedain terms. That must have been dramatic! So I had this big story going in my head. Thank you for saving me from my own wild imagination!
Nilmandra
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 2: Dawn
I like seeing the relationsihp between the twins here - very close, their hearts and minds closely aligned, yet also very different individuals. You also address the differences between them and older elves like Glorfindel, who likely do change only slowly. Elladan's guilt is strong, and it is very sad that it has kept him from a relationship with Estel. He still has time to make it right. It may be only when Estel is Aragorn and much more grownup that Elladan lets himself get close.
Another thing you do well is the giving of information - you really have to tell that, not show it, and yet you manage to do it in a way where it is the character's thoughts, it flows naturally vs. being an info dump. This except begins a good example of this:
Estel reflected that it had not always been easy growing up the only human boy in a realm of elves many centuries his senior. Perhaps he would remain forever as a child in their eyes, for how could they see him otherwise? ....
Nice job, I look forward to seeing where you go with this. The tension is high and I felt it along with Estel at the end.
Author's reply
Exploring relationships is what I like best about writing, particularly the relationships of the twins with each other and others. I'm so glad to hear that you are enjoying it!
Hopefully, in the course of this story, Elladan will be able learn a bit about Estel and their relationship can begin to change for the better.
Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. Coming from you, I take it as quite a complement indeed!
The next chapter will be posted within a few minutes and I very much look forward to reading your reactions.
Nilmandra
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 1: The First Day of March
I like your set up for what looks to be the 'great deeds' that Tolkien spoke of. A few things in particular stand out to me - the first is showing that the peredhil twins do indeed straddle both the world of men and the world of the Eldar. They appreciate the qualities and difference of both. I also like seeing some conflict between the elves, and I think it is not unfitting that concern for Estel should be at the root of some of it. Elrond and Imladris have kept him secret and safe these many years - to fail now would be heartbreaking. Yet Elladan seems to be forgetting that greater hands than those of the Eldar or Men are orchestrating these events. He has a part to play, but he is not in control. Fortunately, he has a brother and Glorfindel..and Estel himself.. to remind him of that.
Author's reply
Ever since I was first introduced to Tolkien's world, Elladan and Elrohir have always been my first love. They absolutely fascinate me! I think what I find most interesting about them is the question of what they truly are, and the choice that they, along with their sister of course, faced. Tolkien never called them elves, and true to that I will not either (except occasionally when Estel refers to them as elves, because to him, at this point in his life, he can not see the difference, though he will later when he has to deal with the repercussions of Arwen's choice). It is a theme that I will continually explore.
Elladan very much likes to take charge and often feels responsible for things that he can not control, just as Elrohir reminds him in chapter two. It is also a subject which will come up again in this story.
Thank-you so much for reviewing! It is really appreciated.
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 2: Dawn
You do a really nice job of treating the Sons of Elrond as distinct people, who still are closely tied by their twinship. I like the tension between Elladan and Glorfindel.
Author's reply
I have always loved the twins and given a lot of thought to them and their characters. (Some might say too much thought!) I feel as though I know them quite well and I am so glad to hear that I do a good job of portraying them as distinct individuals.
The relationship between Elladan and Glorfindel will come up again later in the story and, hopefully, they will be able to work some things out. ;-)
Thanks again for reviewing,
peredhil lover
daw the minstrel
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 1: The First Day of March
What a nice use of canon facts to set up an original story. I knew but had forgotten that Aragorn's grandfather was killed by hill trolls, but I hadn't realized how young he was at the time.
I enjoyed Elrohir's reflections on how men spoke their minds. None of that "go not to the elves" stuff there.
The timing is significant too, and lends a weight to this whole adventure. I assume it's when Estel comes back from this trip that Elrond tells him who he is?
And I always enjoy tension between basically sympathetic characters, so the Glorfindel-Elladan tussle is great.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing daw, it is most appreciated. As a long time reader of LOTR fanfic and a relatively new writer, it is still hard for me to believe that my writing is being reviewed by the likes of daw the minstrel and Nilmandra! Sorry, that was a bit of a fangirl moment there.
I'm so glad that you are enjoying the story. About Aragorn's grandfather, Arador, I think you may have misread what was said. He was killed in TA 2930, twenty-one years before this story is set and one year before Aragorn was born, and, though I could not find an exact date of Arador's birth, he was at least in his eighties when he was slain by hill-trolls.
You guessed correctly, the timing of this story is quite on purpose and significant to what will occur.
I agree, it is a little more interesting to have some tension between the "good guys". Let's face it, otherwise perfectly good people don't always get along with each other. I see both Glorfindel and Elladan as have strong personalities and both tend to want to take charge, so there's bound to be some tension.
Clearly I've gone on long enough, but if you liked Elrohir's reflections about men, you may enjoy the prequel to this story that I wrote called "Answers and Questions". It is quite short and sets the stage for this story.
Thanks again,
peredhil lover
lwarren
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 2: Dawn
I love Elrohir! Ever the voice of reason and I love the connection he has with his brother! Actually with both of his brothers! (I can't mention every little part that I like in this, but your development of each character is wonderful, i.e. watching Estel sleep and knowing that the time will come when he faces hardship and a total LACK of all he's enjoying at the present.)
Once again, Glorfindel and Elladan clash - you raise an interesting question I have heard voiced before...what must it be like to be two or three thousand years old - and still be considered a child? How annoying that would be!
And now they have found the trolls! Yikes! That last paragraph had me right there with them, feeling the ground shake and hearing that first great bellow of outrage! Well done! *ducks and runs for cover*
Linda
Author's reply
Thanks Linda! I love Elrohir too. :-)
I'm so glad that you enjoyed the character development in this chapter and the relationship between the brothers. Focusing on relationships is really what I love best in writing. (Now, action scenes are what I am not so fond of trying to write).
Thanks again for reviewing,
peredhil lover
lwarren
· 1 January 2007
· Chapter 1: The First Day of March
*sighs* You draw such a vivid contrast between the golden Glorfindel and the darker Elladan. :-) And they are at odds, and it definitely shows throughout the chapter, especially in the meal preparation scenes. But I like the way everything is set up - with Elladan's foresight riding him hard - you just can feel that something bad is going to happen. *shivers* As for Estel...his twentieth birth day - a red-letter day indeed! I loved the little party they had for him - the special pastry and the stories. Just goes to show how well-loved he was amongst the elves of Imladris. Great beginning, peredhil lover!
Linda
Author's reply
I'm so glad that you enjoyed the contrast between Glorfindel and Elladan, it will be an important theme running through this story.
I quite like the birthday scene too, and yes, Estel feels quite content and very much a part of this world, at least for now.
Thanks for reviewing, it is very much appreciated.
peredhil lover
Laureleaf
· 29 December 2006
· Chapter 1: The First Day of March
Ai! you can sense Elladan's tension rolling off in waves...well done. I look forward to more.
Author's reply
Thanks, Laureleaf. Yep, Elladan's pretty tense. I wonder if something bad really will happen? ;>)
Chapter two should be posted within a day or two.
peredhil lover