Reviews (559)

Tira · 13 August 2007 · Chapter 6: Interlude On a Nameless Planet

ooooooohhhhh! i loved it. so sweet. *sighs* and by the by...did manwë ever feel that stupid with varda? :)

Larner · 13 August 2007 · Chapter 6: Interlude On a Nameless Planet

Oh, how sweet! Now to find what the change in spectrum presages. Soon they will be espoused properly.

Nieriel Raina · 12 August 2007 · Chapter 6: Interlude On a Nameless Planet

*melts into puddle of goo* Do you know how hard it is to type as goo? Very messy! Stephen Lawhead holds nothing on you, Fiondil. I'd much rather read a chapter from you. And what a lovely chapter! I am curious about what Melkor did to the stars. But I'll have to wait to find out. The part with Námo and Vairë was perfect! Very sweet and innocent and so very well done. *stands back and applauds with enthusiasm* I love watching the young love between these too and look forward to seeing it develop. Námo is adorable and Vairë is so good for him. Like Manwë I look forward to seeing Námo discover this for himself. In the meantime, I'll just pull him over and hug him, shall I? *wink* I recently read a story where someone else tried to write the Valar and I had to stop. You have spoiled me for other authors! I can't stop referring your work to everyone, it's so good. Thank you for another chapter to such a captivating story! I look forward to more, but will wait patiently until such time as you grant us one. *grabs Hood and finds it strangely lacking all of a sudden... * NiRi

MJ · 12 August 2007 · Chapter 5: Collision Course

What a charming story! As an amateur astronomer, I find this mythical "forming of the cosmos" quite inventive. How does one reconcile myth to what modern science perceives as fact? A very interesting way of going about it. The only science versus myth aspect that I can see might really be a bit knotty is the question of Arda becoming "bent" only after the sinking of Numenor and the separation of Aman. I also have to wonder, will Namo, in his excursions of the dark parts of the forming universe, find himself in a position to witness a planet or its moon eclipsing the star it orbits long before the formation of Arda? Certainly would be a sight to leave a lasting impression (and perhaps inspire precognition). Good job, Fiondil, I'll be interested in seeing whatever is to come. :)

Larner · 1 August 2007 · Chapter 5: Collision Course

The physics doesn't bother me, but then I never actually took physics courses, focusing more on chemistry, which I found fascinating. That Namo feels he was nearly raped is very interesting, as I strongly suspect Frodo and Beren and certainly Hurin must have felt similarly after their own experiences. And they find a way to minimize the destruction the two galaxies will experience when they intersect by doing a bit of prophylactic star destruction ahead of time. Very satisfying! Now, for Varda to get to her star nursery to find out why this diversion was planned and executed.

Aglarendis · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 5: Collision Course

Greetings Fiondil! Ah, so quickly read, and already I suffer for lack of knowing what is going to happen next! It's comforting to see Namo as young, uncertain, hesitant to step into the discussions of those older than he is. It helps to know that those we might consider to be wise were not always so. He shows such confidence, such imperturbability in other stories, but I like seeing him as his confidence is tested and gained. My respect and love for Manwe only increases as I read this. I especially like the way he dealt with the crisis while still being aware of Namo's needs and fears. That is the sign of a good leader! So Varda has a temper, does she? A part of me wanted to think that she never would have said what she did, but she, too, is still relatively young as compared to how she would be now. I'm glad you showed Manwe comforting, and perhaps confronting her also. I hope we see the apology she gives to Namo. I particularly liked seeing Namo with his own mayar. I hope he gains more as his role is made clear. It was good to see that he has those whom he leads, those who love and serve him without question. I would like to encourage you to put the meanings of names such as Tindomerel at the ends of your chapters. You always make such good names, and I would like very much to know what they mean. I know you said you would not be regularly updating this story, but I do hope you realize that I will continue to harrass you until more chapters come forth. This story has me firmly in its grasp!

Agape4Gondor · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

It is a real shame that - at the very beginning of all things - they are already having to be concerned (besides with Melkor) that others might not be loyal to Eru. *giggles* - 'He nodded. "Very musical, but not as... as musical as you... I mean when you sing," he said wondering if he sounded as idiotic as he felt.' Poor Namo - he's stuck making pronouncements that he doesn't even comprehend and then has to 'endure' the 'looks' of those about him! 'Námo nodded. "The tenth dimensional field will prove important for us in the future."'

Agape4Gondor · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 2: Beacons Lit

I liked the Song continued. It seems only logical that the work of the Valar in this particular instance would never really stop, would it? And Namo's tricking Melkor - you go!!! Manwe to Namo - 'you forget nothing' - definitely a talent he will need as he leads folk through Mandos! Eru and Namo - beautiful moment - I'm glad you shared it with us!

Agape4Gondor · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 1: Riding the Fireball

SORRY - my review under the Prologue chapter should have been for Chapter ONE... I guess I got too excited at the prospect of another tale!

Agape4Gondor · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 0: An Explanation

Your first paragraph really sets the stage for a great chapter. I loved the wording, esp. 'he had timed it just right.' I immediately wondered what on - well there is no Middle-earth yet, is there! I just wondered what the Vala was going to do! Great line here - 'It was glorious and Námo exalted in the fiery death of one of Varda’s creations even as he mourned the destruction that would follow.' This definitely sounds like a fun new sport! 'He rode the wave, allowing himself to be swept across space.' But to have it end with Melkor *shivers* He is an incredibly evil thing! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww - '"Did you enjoy your ride, Little One?" Melkor asked condescendingly.' And then - YIKES - 'A dark thrill coursed through him and he shivered involuntarily.' Forgive me - it might not be your intent - but this whispering of Melkor's and Namo's fighting it with such difficulty reminded me of Boromir and the whispers of the Ring. I'm glad Namo had someone near who could help him!!! This is fun to see - the Valar having a good time - 'Ulmo and Aulë were idly jumping off the rings... riding the air currents. Oromë and Nessa were racing each other around the rings while Irmo, Estë and Vairë were tossing ice shards at one another...' I love the hint of Namo's future greatness in this chapter and the 'gift' he has already received. Very nice chapter indeed!

Nieriel Raina · 31 July 2007 · Chapter 5: Collision Course

What another wonderful chapter! I love how you weave physics throughout this ans have set the Valar as Scientists. It is done so well! *applause* And I am truly loving Námo and seeing him younger and not very self assured. I am looking forward to seeing more of his courtship with Vairë too. They are quite sweet together. Manwë and Varda... it was interesting to see them a bit at odds. Nicely done! But I think what I liked most about this chapter was Námo's care for his Mayar. You are painting such a great tale, and I am loving every minute! *holds out plate* More, please? NiRi

Stefania · 26 July 2007 · Chapter 1: Riding the Fireball

Hi Fiondil - This is my first venture into one of your stories and I can't wait to see what you do with it. I always felt myself some sort of weird geek for loving Tolkien's creation myth in the Silmarillion--the King James Bible meets the Greek pantheon! Thank you so much for so ably doing the job of fanfic--giving us more of something we already love. I'm particularly tickled by the innocent, SciFi spin of this first chapter. - Steff

Radbooks · 25 July 2007 · Chapter 4: Hunting Through the Cosmos

Sorry it's taken me several days to review this but I had to gather my thoughts - not that I'll be any clearer today than I would have been the first time I read this chapter a couple of days ago. Like one of your other reviewers I had to read it several times and the only words I can come up with are... brilliant and revolting. Brilliant because it was as wonderful written as your other chapters and stories. I could just see Namo and Orome searching for Melkor across the universe, I loved the colors of the Valar and how Namo's violet was soothing which so fit his future role as comforter. I was as startled as Namo and Orome were when Melkor appeared above them, I thought they were going to confront him and I was wishing they'd call for back-up. I absolutely loved Manwe's embrace and love that he gave to a very frightened and embarrassed Namo... that whole scene was great. You know what the revolting part was, don't you? :) It was also brilliant or it wouldn't be revolting! When Melkor was seducing Namo it made my skin crawl. I felt so sorry for Namo and was so glad when Orome rescued him from Melkor. I do hope that Namo remembers that he is NOT the only one that has been tempted otherwise he'll really start doubting himself. Very well done!

Larner · 23 July 2007 · Chapter 4: Hunting Through the Cosmos

A horrible confrontation, and I, too, am glad Orome was there to draw Namo away before Melkor could take from the young Vala what he wished of him. Now, where indeed are the guards?

Edlyn · 23 July 2007 · Chapter 4: Hunting Through the Cosmos

Whew! That was a ride and a half, meldonya! I've read the chapter three times since you posted it and it STILL grabs me and won't let go! All right, here are my thoughts and comments starting with the beginning of the chapter: Brrr! I'd shiver, too, to find that Melkor was waiting for me! I definitely liked meeting Oromë and finding out more about him. I liked his explaining that he didn't disapprove of Námo riding the plasma wave but that he really would prefer not to have to hear Varda going off about it. Oromë's comment about Námo's strange tastes in entertainment and Aulë's heavy-metal collecting reminded me of hearing one of my older relatives commenting on a cousin of mine whose favourite leisure activity is skydiving and base-jumping and my youngest sister who for many years collected beer cans. So Námo is an adrenaline junkie and Aulë is a collecting geek . There are worse hobbies out there! "Vardium" LOL! I find it interesting that Námo's favourites all have to do with things that involve high degrees of energy; supernova plasma waves, very radioactive elements and the like. There's a lot of power in both of them and I wonder if part of what makes Námo so vulnerable to Melkor is his attraction towards things of high energy and therefore great power. The thrill of balancing on the very edge of life, death, disaster or whatever else is addictive, so it seems to me that Melkor is offering the ultimate thrill to Námo, feeding his addiction, so to speak. *"Or perhaps he set off this supernova for the explicit reason of luring you here for your little... chat."* Oh, that was an absolutely terrifying sentence. And it not only made Námo angry; it certainly had to have made him feel guilty, especially as there had been life developing on one of the destroyed planets. Which goes to show just how thoroughly nasty Melkor is. He could have chosen a system that had no burgeoning life on it to destroy if all he wanted to do was to get Námo in a particular place at a particular time. But he had to have selected this one on purpose, perhaps knowing that the guilt that Námo would feel could be used to drag him into such despair that he'd stop fighting the temptation and join with Melkor. Again, brrrr! If I needed any further proof that Námo is still a youngling, it was his surprise when Oromë told him that Melkor had tempted all of them and that more than once. Younglings are self-centered by nature and part of growing up is the realisation that others experience similar, if not the same, temptations and troubles as they do. I'm certain that each of the Ayanumuz have flaws that Melkor is using when he tempts them. Hmmm, it would be interesting to try to figure out just what Melkor was tempting each of them with... No, I shouldn't go there, I have enough plot bunnies running around bitng my ankles without letting more into the house. Oh, my! What IS Melkor doing to the stars? I'm sure we'll find out, eventually. I was surprised to find it was the elder of our two hunters who needed to be reined in from disobeying Manwë's orders, typically one would think it would be the younger who would be more likely to do that. *"When you have finished discussing how you will stop me, why don’t you come out from behind that star and join me?"* I about had a heart attack when Melkor said that, thank you very much! If the Ayanumuz can have heart attacks I'm sure Námo and Oromë would have just about had one, too. Melkor's attempt to take Námo and the aftermath was so emotionally overwhelming (I was literally shaking the first time I read it) that it has taken three readings to be able to get my thoughts in any sort of order regarding it. Frankly, the first thing that came to mind was that what Melkor was doing was tantamount to rape. And Námo's reactions were right in line with those of a victim of rape; shock, shame, anger, hate, withdrawal, assumption of blame, guilt, grief, residual fear... Thank Eru that Oromë was there! I shudder to think of what would have happened if Námo couldn't have gotten away from Melkor. No, I'm not going there, either. The healing of Námo's fëa was lovely and perfectly balanced the terror of the preceding paragraphs. I was crying when I read **You are my best beloved, with whom I am well pleased.* Love is SO very tangible in those words. And then you gave us a little humor to lighten things up a bit though the situation they are in is serious. Námo's interaction with Vairë was sweet and I have to admit her *"Do I look like moondust to you?"* was absolutely priceless. I'll be emailing you privately with any further thoughts because I don't want this review to be longer than the chapter . Hugs, Edlyn

Aglarendis · 19 July 2007 · Chapter 1: Riding the Fireball

Fiondil, this is beautiful! To think of Namo as a child, less weighed-down by cares, yet still himself. I wanted to take him in my arms and hug him as Manwe did. And there are the rest of my friends too! I loved the pictures of Aule and Ulmo, Nessa, Orome, Este and Vaire playing like teens. This is wonderful! I cannot wait to read further. But you know what a Valar addict I am, thanks to Alassiel and you!

Edlyn · 19 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

Hello meldonya! Another chapter so soon! I love the way you've demonstrated the expansiveness of Ea and the powers of the Ayanumuz by having the second beacon in another galaxy. This description on top of Námo surfing the supernova wave front and hiding in the core of a star really wakes the reader up to the fact that your characters are not Elves or Men but on another order entirely. I agree with Námo, the non-spiral galaxies are beautiful because they aren't perfect. And wouldn't the universe be an incredibly boring thing to look at if every galaxy was a perfect spiral? And Manwë's words to Varda are words we should all remember. I am certain that God rejoices in our efforts more than in our actual achievements even to this day, whether what we are trying to do is a task great or small. And now we meet "he-who-will-one-day-be-Sauron" and he's acting sneaky already. Of course, Aulë wouldn't explain everything (especially since they decided that the Maiar wouldn't be told what was really going on and I wouldn't be surprised if Aulendil's Master doesn't suspect something about his loyalties and ambitions already). I see him in his "teacher" mode here as well as that of the Mathematician and Scientist and Maker. Your mentioning his patience made me smile because I've always seen Aulë as someone who was patience personified. It has something to do with his persona as a Smith or Crafter, I think. Getting back to Aulendil, his flurry of questions didn't really worry me as much as the sudden disinterest in the beacon. It looks suspicious to me (of course, I already know he's going over to the "Dark Side" so my interpretations of his actions are going to be biased). Námo certainly does have a burdensome gift, doesn't he? I can tell that once he grows into himself he's definitely going to be incredibly powerful but at this point I feel sorry for him trying to figure out what he's supposed to do with the knowledge that he has. The flashback to him talking to Eru was absolutely lovely. I found it very comforting to read, especially when Ilúvatar said, "You can always tell me, my best beloved. I will always listen." Lucky Námo to be able to experience the bliss of his Atar's embrace the way he did. I smiled all the way through the scene with Vairë and laughed out loud at the image of Estë giving some poor Máya grief. And I had to laugh at Manwë telling Ulmo to give Námo and Vairë five minutes together before interrupting them was so sweet. It looks like big brother is trying to facilitate a romance, doesn't it? I am truly enjoying reading about the young Námo and his brothers and sisters in the thought of Ilúvatar. It's like looking at a family photo album or home movies/videotape collection. I certainly can understand Namo's problem with speaking of finding beauty in even dead worlds to his family. There's many times I've tried to explain how something I've seen or experienced makes me feel and all I get are "Are you kidding?" and "What is wrong with you?" looks from my listeners. I think Námo is truly graced by Ilúvatar to be able to see beauty and good in everything the way he does. I think that he would not be able to do his job as the Lord of Mandos if he didn't have the ability to see beauty in everything. Reading the description of the dead sea on the planet where Manwë is holding court reminded me of what one of the Apollo astronauts said during one of the moon landings: "magnificent desolation." The surface of the moon is as dead as anything could possibly be but still there is beauty there. I can just see Námo standing on the lunar surface with an appreciative smile on his face. Is it possible to be confident and unsure at the same time? Námo certainly sounded confident when he made the statement about that tenth spatial dimension. But I can also see him with an expression that says "Now where did THAT come from?" (I feel that way a lot of the time when I'm writing a story and all of a sudden my fingers are typing something I completely didn't expect). When he provided the name Máhanumaz to identify the chief Valar I actually got shivers down my spine. As much as I like the rest of this chapter the naming of the Máhanumaz really pulled me into this fic-verse that you've created. I can't articulate why but I found it to be incredibly powerful to read. I am feeling some trepidation at the idea of Námo and Oromë heading out to find where Melkor is hiding which shouldn't surprise me since just thinking about Melkor (especially after that little temptation scene in the first chapter of this story) is enough to make my hair stand on end and my throat constrict. I know he's going to get his in the end but still… As always, your using the Quenya terms and the wonderful footnotes just make this even better. I like knowing just which bit of the universe the Valar are working and playing around in. May you live blessed, Edlyn

Radbooks · 19 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

I'm a little late getting to this, the MEFAs are keeping me busy! I did read it right away - I ALWAYS make time to read. :) I really enjoyed the flashback scene and Iluvatar explaining to Namo that the gift he'd received was something he could handle even if it didn't seem like it - it's so very true. But it was just the walking and Namo feeling his Atar's love that was so special there. I had to smile during parts of the conversation between Namo and Vaire... ah, young love. But, then of course they aren't really young and the reality of Melkor intrudes and makes it darker as he usually does. The dead planet sounded so interesting - I love how you described it, the colors and all. I'm with Namo on it being beautiful in it's own way. Now he and Orme have to go and find Melkor? Thanks a lot Manwe! It's so sad to see how quickly the Maier turned against Iluvatar and the light. I know they did, but it always amazes me when they were born into such perfection how could they follow Melkor who was another created being? He must have been some smooth talker. :) I've enjoyed talking to Alassiel the last week or so - thanks for recommending my story to her. It's always nice to get to know a fellow author, especially when they live close. I'll have to think about writing a Thorongil in Gondor story since you're covering the Rohan part! :) Although, I've been writing some short stories about Rohan and it's been fun, but it's time to get back to Aragorn!

Tira · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

ooooh, so good! and I know i've said it before but it always bears repeating: i love your erm...rendition? (is that a good word?) of Namo. And truly, you bring to life for me what I have a hard time grasping in the Sil...which I am tring to read again....

Raksha The Demon · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 1: Riding the Fireball

I love the images of the Valar at play in the cosmos. This is a fascinating and, for Tolkien fanfiction, original story. I will definitely keep reading!

Larner · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

In the physics department of a university there was a sign: "And God said [followed by the mathematical formula used to indicate the production of light] and there was Light." I keep thinking of that sign as I read this. We see Sauron already corrupted, the schism already in the making, the wonders of it all. Love how the physics and the astronomy of this is all working out, and the tentative courtship of Namo and Vaire--the future Doomsman and Vala of the Final Healing and the one who in this universe stands for the Norns. Now--to find Melkor and keep an eye on him. And thanks for the correction in my story; I doubt it will mean a good deal to most folks, and it certainly won't mean much to Delphie, of course.

Calenlass · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

This is like seeing the Valar in a new perspective. You've given them more life, more personality. -Calenlass

Nieriel Raina · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

Sorry, I've been lurking and not reviewing. My brother died unexpectedly, and like has just been rather busy. But I am reading the new chapters of EI (and loving every one) and this story is just amazing! I've never had an interest in astronomy or physics but the way you look at the Valar just blows me away. And I am loving seeing Námo as young! Very nice. Thank you for sharing! NiRi

Firimar · 17 July 2007 · Chapter 3: The Máhanumaz

I love this series! The science is wonderful. While the Valar are looking for the 10th spatial dimension, I wonder if they'll stumble upon the brane containing our universe? It may also be fun if they create and impose relativity to somehow constrain Melkor... Please keep up the series if you get a chance!

Larner · 11 July 2007 · Chapter 2: Beacons Lit

And so the universe expands, including the black holes; and they find ways to distract and deceive their malificent brother. And loved the flashback between Iluvatar and Namo.