This was a tough read, and probably just as difficult to write. Battle scenes (melee) drive me wonkers. I've written many and you always need to know where your fighters are and what they are doing. You did that very well; enough so that following Aragorn's fear and emotional response - and his reasons for doing what he did for gosh sakes! - were easily read and understood. Bravo!
You went into some really heart heavy descriptions of what Aragorn was going thru with the Black Breath. I've read several versions of what fan writers have to say about it, some better than others, and certainly Tolkien was no help, but yours I must say bit like a cobra. I could readily follow the deterioration and utter helplessness that Aragorn was going through; the battle of his own insecurities which were an incredible weapon against him! as well as the terror that made him weak. And then following with Halbarad's remark of "terror looking through your eyes" really brings home Aragorn's humanity and his vulnerability which we, as readers or writers, often forget. Tolkien painted his hero as Heroic in the mythological sort, like Beowulf or Herakles. Here we see he is anything but!
Favorite line so far, another one with humour: "to be chieftain, to marry Arwen, to fulfill your destiny and rule Gondor and Arnor and save Middle-earth from all evil, bad weather, bad manners, and spoiled vegetables."
Halbarad for the win! And I laughed myself silly. Thank you!
Author's reply
Thank you, Miko! That was a really hard section of the story to get through, to keep Aragorn's heroic status intact but still show that he's human and subject to fear, as his reaction in the Prancing Pony showed (yes, that may have been a perhaps unintended leftover from when Aragorn was still a hobbit named Trotter who'd been tortured by Sauron... but it made it into the book as part of Aragorn's story, so it demands explanation!). And Halbarad, bless him, just can't handle any tough situation without tossing in some humor. *g* Hope the rest of the story keeps holding up for you!
MikoNoNyte
· 14 January 2013
· Chapter 4: Bracken's Ferry
I've gotten this far along and just HAD to remark.
First off I love your Aragorn.
Secondly, I love your voice. You have a very fluid style that carries the reader along, pausing now and again to reveal some thought, or emotion, then moving along into action. It's rare in Fanfic to get a writer that does that and I am SO glad to find one who does. (Yes, you've made the "Top 10 List") :) Your descriptions are very rich and full, tackling the locale, the people and their appearances and giving just enough to fill in a picture without bogging down with details (sometimes Tolkien would wax poetic over the sky and grass and frankly that does not carry a story along. Sorry Prof!) I felt I was there, in the mountains, in the valleys while reading this, be it a mountain side or a dark, cozy inn, and filled each descriptive element with just enough history to make it feel lived in.
Favorite quote thus far had me rocking with laughter: "Oh ho! Lock up your daughters, all you fathers That handsome rascal Strider's a'prowlin' these parts!"
Author's reply
Wow, thank you, Miko! Goodness, you're making me blush. I'm so glad you enjoy my style of writing--I've always tried hard to avoid what I call "info dumps", preferring instead to weave details with dialogue and action. To me, that's the heart of "showing" vs "telling", and I do think it keeps the pace of a story from bogging down. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story... I wrote this many years ago now, and it was my first stab at LOTR fiction on a novel scale. There's many parts I read now and cringe (I'm planning on a revision someday, to post at ff-net, because I do want to keep the original as posted here). In fact, in this chapter, when I reread it just to re-familiarize myself with it (funny how you forget what you've written), I found a giggle-inducing error where I used "hoard" instead of "horde".
*facepalm*
*imagines Smaug's treasure taking out the town*
*facepalms again*
*makes correction*
Thanks again for your kind words! Made my day!
Ranger~Arratay
· 6 October 2011
· Chapter 0: Prologue
I like it so far :) It's probably going to take me a while to get through this story since I have been working on the computer a lot lately and I'm ruining my eyes doing so.
Loved the reference to Sharpe's "Chosen Men" there ;)
Hope to read more soon,
Ranger~Arratay (Lady Wallace from FF.net)
Author's reply
Oh dear, don't ruin your eyes! But thank you for your kind words (and yay! for setting up a reader account here). I hope you enjoy the story--I wrote it quite a while back and it was one of my first real forays into writing LOTR fic, so there's things that aren't quite as polished as in my later stories, but there you go... the evolution of a writer right before your eyes. *g* May you find it enjoyable!
Tirnel
· 10 December 2010
· Chapter 26: Epilogue - The Year That Followed, Part 2
I loved the trotter bit thrown in there. Halbarad is my favorite ranger, next to Aragorn of course. And despite the fact that I knew he could not die yet (that's later) you got me really worried when you shot him. Good job on that.
Author's reply
Thank you, Tirnel! It's always good to hear from a fellow Halbarad & Aragorn fan. I'm glad you enjoyed my take on them both, and very glad I made you fear for Halbarad's life "even though". :) Thanks for taking the time to leave a review!
Hanasian
· 6 September 2010
· Chapter 999999: Acknowledgements
I read much of this story and had to say I liked it much. Being partial to the Dunedain Rangers leading up to, during, and after the War of the Ring, I quite enjoy reading other people's thoughts and perspectives on them. Very good write this.
Author's reply
Thank you, Hanasian! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and thought to drop me a review to let me know. I must confess to being very partial to the Dunedain myself. :)
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 26: Epilogue - The Year That Followed, Part 2
And when will the road go on? *sweet puppy look* I want to read how Aragorn felt when he and Gandalf discovered Bilbo's ring really was The One Ring. *sweet puppy look* I want to read how Aragorn felt on Weathertop, fighting Nazgul. *sweet puppy look* I want to know how Aragorn felt in the beginning of the quest. *sweet puppy look* I want to know... all. *sweet puppy look*
And if you think I ask too much, I will only say - it is your own fault. *innocent smile* My wishes, I mean. *innocent smile* Because you are an extraodinary writer. There is a proverb, describing this situation and my wishes, and it goes something like: "You gave me a finger, and I want the whole hand." :) I am greedy, am I not? :)
But, whatever you will write - and as I said, I would really like to read sooooooo much more from you - I know it will be perfect.
Author's reply
You're very kind, thank you! I do intend to write more Aragorn stories, definitely--not sure whether they'll be reflections on the events in LOTR or more adventures that take place before the Quest and War of the Ring, but there will be more, one way or another.
Thanks for all the comments and reviews for this story... it was fun to hear your thoughts as you worked your way through it! :)
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 25: Epilogue - The Year That Followed, Part 1
Awwww... *melting* Wonderful ending. :)
P.s. "What a pleasure it would be to see the surprise on Eledh’s face as I hand it to him!"
Now, I haven't read all of your stories (yet), and perhaps you have written a story about Eledh receiving a Galadrim bow and I have yet to discover it, but if you haven't, would you consider doing so? I would love to read it. :)
Author's reply
Thank you, Ellynn! Glad you enjoyed it to the end. :)
I haven't thought about writing a ficlet about Eledh receiving such a bow but it's something I'll keep in mind. Eventually I hope to tell more about Eledh (and Galadh) in stories but right now they're only works-in-progress (or merely ideas on a list). But a little "gap-filler" showing that would be kind of fun, I think, and something good to add to the appendices for this story.
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 24: These Wounds You Now Carry
Aww, wonderful. You wrote father/son long talk so touching. Elrond's words of comfort are very wise, and once all traces of Black Breath disappear, I hope Aragorn will realise that Elrond is right and that his self-accusations are wrong. Beautifully done.
P.S. I love anecdotes from Aragorn's childhood, they are so funny. :))) And I know who Trotter is! :)
Author's reply
Yay, you caught the nod to Aragorn's early incarnation! LOL I'm so glad Tolkien decided against making Aragorn a hobbit with wooden shoes.
And thank you... I'm glad you liked this scene. It was one of my favorites to write. :)
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 23: On the Road of Returning
Aww... you brought tears to my eyes again, in the end of this chapter. But those were good tears this time. I am touched by the way you depict their friendship and bond... so palpable, so strong. Both your writing and their emotions. :)
P.s. "He did not understand how he could spend five days sleeping and wake up feeling like he could sleep for five weeks more."
As a big sleeper (is that the right word? I love to sleep long and I need it), I have to say that I understand him. :)))
Author's reply
I love it when a reader gets happy tears. :) And yes, I can relate to Aragorn's plight about sleeping as well--I love sleep and never feel like I get enough!
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 19: No Answers
Poor Aragorn. :(
Though, I am quite sure that he feels so bad because he is still under the influence of Black Breath, although he can't/doesn't want to see it. I suppose I'll discover in the following chapters if I'm right.
Author's reply
I really made it tough on poor Aragorn, didn't I? *g*
Ellynn
· 25 August 2010
· Chapter 17: Balrogs Are Quieter
It looks to me as though you are trying everything to keep me from my house work. :) The laundry still waits to be ironed, you know? I promised myself this morning that I'd read only two chapters and then go ironing. And look at me! I've just read the third, without pause, and I want to continue right away.
Ok. A compromise. I'll do some 30 minutes of ironing, and then I'm going back to reading.
Do I have to say more? I can't stop reading, this is really like an excellent action movie right in front of my eyes.
Author's reply
Wow, 30 minutes worth of ironing??? *tries to remember where my iron even is*
I'm glad to provide a diversion from your domestic chores--glad you're enjoying the action!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 12: Time
Well, well. :) I remember a few lines from "The Ranger and the Hobbit", when Denlad is thinking of his little family and "a boy he loves as his own". :) Now, would that family be Neala and Randir? *g*
I am glad that you included a little bit of romance, too. I am looking forward to see how it will go on. :)
Author's reply
*whistling innocently* Why, whatever are you talking about? Neala and Denlad together??? That shy man ever marrying???
I must plead the right to remain silent on the grounds that I don't like giving out answers that a reader will discover later in the story. *g*
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 10: Respite
I so adore your humor! :) Many lines in this chapter are so funny and crazy! *lol*
But the end... :( Is this actually the first time (at least in this story) when Aragorn fooled Halbarad with his explanation? Looks like it might be so... :(
Author's reply
Aragorn can be very convincing when he doesn't want Halbarad to worry. *g* Or when he thinks he can handle the problem by himself!
I'm glad you're enjoying the humor in this. I see Aragorn and Halbarad as having that sort of close bond that lets them banter and tease... with Halbarad always staying just this side of insubordination! :)
Thanks for the review... you're really flying through this story!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 9: Putting Together the Pieces
"You drove this wraith off much like Glorfindel drove off the Witch King."
Erm, what exactly are you refering to? I remember there was some conflict with Witch king earlier in the Third Age, but I don't remember Glorfindel had torches... *unsure* Or do you mean "drove off" generally, without speaking of the way how to do it?
And I knew someone would mention how thick Halbarad's head was! *lol*
Author's reply
Aragorn's speaking in generalities here as far as the specifics of how Glorfindel drove off the Witch-king, which, as far as I can research, isn't given in detail (or if it is, I've lost track of where to find it!). Aragorn's statement has a twofold meaning: first, he is giving Halbarad a compliment, elevating him to Glorfindel's exalted company as one who drove off a Wraith. But secondly, and more importantly, I want to leave the idea that Aragorn has learned, by Halbarad's actions, that fire will drive off a wraith. And it is that detail that connects this story to canon, specifically to Weathertop and Frodo's "glimpse of Strider leaping out of the darkness with a flaming brand of wood in either hand", as it appears in "A Knife in the Dark" in "The Fellowship of the Ring". I wanted to use this scene as a way of showing one way in which Aragorn might have learned that fire can drive away a wraith.
Hope that helps!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 7: For the Dead of Bracken's Ferry
Reading a novel at once can be harder than reading one chapter after another every few days (which is the case when reading as you post them), because it requires a lot of free time, which none of us often has much.
But! :) I am on holidays, and today is a true holiday, not a "working one", like I described to you last week. :p I am home alone, Alen is out the whole day, and I can read. :) And so far, I successfully ignore the clothes that watch me from their corner and call for me to iron them. :)
On the other hand, reading a novel at once means that, when there is a cliffhanger, I don't have to wait another week to see what happened. :) So, I'm hurrying to the next chapter. :)
And this chapter... wow! It is great! Your writing is so good, so tense, so vivid... You are definitely one of the best writers I've ever read.
P.s. As for Mallor/little girl thing we talked about two chapters ago. I was not thinking about warrior/civilian thing, but known/unknown. In the moment of her death, I didn't know anything about her. Mallor, on the other hand, no matter how small part in your story he gets, is someone I got to know: I know that he is 16, that he lost his father, that he was a joyful young man who loved life, that he loved Aragorn as father and tried to learn from him... I can see him, I can feel him, and that is why I grieve for him. Little girl is no more than those two words: little girl. And that's all. And that is why her death didn't affect me.
Author's reply
Hooray for holidays and those rare free days when you can ignore laundry! :) I'm glad you're able to sit down with this all in one go--it does help with the cliffhangers, doesn't it? *g* And yes, knowing a character in a bit more depth does make his death hit a little harder. I kind of hated to kill him off but the story required it, alas.
I'm glad you like my writing style... your words are very kind and I thank you!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 5: To Save One Soul
Is it strange that Mallor's death shook me waaaaaaaaay much more than this little girl? But it is so. Perhaps I was "prepared" for it... or perhaps it is because we don't know anything about her, she is just "one of many", if you understand what I mean. I don't know.
Please remind me - do you mention this event in some of your later stories? I really can't remember, and I have some blurry feeling that you do...
Now I regret that I haven't read this earlier - before your later stories. I mean, I already know that this feeling of dread comes from the Nazgul, so a little bit of tension is taken from me. But then, perhaps I'd guess anyway? I'll never know. *sigh* But hey, although I know certain things in advance, don't think that your descriptions lose their strenght. The feeling of dread is so real, just like I read this without prior knowledge.
Author's reply
I imagine that it varies from person to person how a character death might make them feel--for some, the death of a child, even an unknown, is far worse than the death of a warrior; for others, sympathies may lie with the warrior more. One never knows, as a writer, which way a reader will go and that's the fun of hearing from readers. I do know that both the deaths affect Aragorn deeply, however!
And yes, I do tie all my stories together, because I'm trying to build my own little version of Eriador and Aragorn's life as a Ranger and Chieftain. So some things might not hit you as hard, having read hints of them in other stories first. But I hope that doesn't lessen your enjoyment of this story too much--like you say, hard to know if the sensation of dread might have been heightened, but hopefully that's not going to be too much of a detriment as you read this.
Thanks for the review!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 3: Healing Balm
Ok, I hate you a little less now. :) You made me laugh with this chapter, really. *lol* I wish I could be there (invisible) and see the scene. :))))
Perfectly written. ;)
P.S. A small lesson in astronomy. When seen in the evening, Venus is ALWAYS in the western horizon, and is slowly setting as the time goes by - because of Earth's rotation. ;)
But if you see Venus above eastern horizon (and it is rising, again because of Earth's rotation), it is dawn. ;) As the sky is apparently moving from east to west, and the Sun, which is at first deep bellow horizon, comes closer to horizon and the eastern sky becomes brighter, Venus apparently disappears, because the sky around it is brighter and brighter. Finally, a little before sunrise, we can't see it any more.
So, in your last sentence, if Aragorn is watching Earendil in the evening - and he is - it should be western horizon. :)
Author's reply
Ah, thank you for the correction.
Glad you laughed at that scene... it was definitely meant to counter the darker parts, and to show the depth of Halbarad's care for Aragorn and the depth of their friendship.
Thanks for the review!
Ellynn
· 24 August 2010
· Chapter 1: Foreboding
You posted this way before I had come to SOA, so I haven't read it before, I am starting only now. And for this chapter, all that I have to say is: I hate you. How can you do this and make me cry like this? It's not just Aragorn's heart that is broken... I am writing this and still crying, you evil woman.
P.s. I sooooooooooo love your writing. *sniff*
Author's reply
Hee hee... thank you! I *am* evil, what can I say! I'm glad you, er, "enjoyed" this, although that doesn't seem the right word to use so I'll say I'm glad this chapter stirred your emotions, and glad that you're finally getting a chance to read this story. I hope you enjoy the entire thing!
Amrun
· 28 May 2010
· Chapter 999999: Acknowledgements
This was an intriguing exploration of Aragorn's character. i loved his interaction with the Rangers and Elrond's childhood tales; such touches of reality are what really lent life to this story. Thanks so much for sharing.
Author's reply
Thank you, Amrun! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and characterizations and took a moment to let me know. :)
LisaG
· 6 February 2010
· Chapter 24: These Wounds You Now Carry
Great sorrow and great joy...all in one chapter!
It was good to finally see Aragorn talking to his father and sharing his fears, guilt (however unearned) and sorrows. He desperately needed that cleansing cry...very cathartic. I'm glad foster father and son are finally not estranged any more, though their relationship is still a bit tenuous due to the Arwen issue. :(
I adored the story of little Estel as the captive Mirkwood Princeling! Forty-eleven peppermint sticks sounds like a fair ransom to me! ;)
Author's reply
Thanks, Lisa... I never really bought into the idea in the movies that Elrond was so cold and unforgiving toward Aragorn. But I could believe, based on the fact that they did have this issue of Arwen between them, that there were times when Aragorn might misread Elrond and come to the erroneous conclusion that Elrond really never wanted to see him. I imagine things grew very awkward between them at times, although I don't think Elrond ever stopped caring deeply for Aragorn. So that's part of the crux of this story, another element of the sort of perfect emotional storm brought on by circumstance of his people, his drive to fulfill his destiny and bear up under all the other burdens laid upon him, and his physical health.
And glad you liked the bit about peppermint. *g* I've always seen little Estel as being a perfectly normal little boy with a very wild imagination!
Thanks for the review!
LisaG
· 5 February 2010
· Chapter 17: Balrogs Are Quieter
That was great! I LOVE Glorfindel's confrontation with the Nazgul...you had me chuckling with his cocky attitude after running the wrait off.
But oh! Then you sunk us into heartbreak with Halbarad's fearome injury. I was teary eyes as Aragorn tried to deal with the situation...his hearbreak for his best friend was plapable. *sniff!*
Author's reply
Ooh, it does my sadistic heart good to hear a reader was moved to tears! *g* No, I'm not really sadistic but I am glad you found this chapter both humorous and wrenching enough to bring out chuckles and tissues. The rollercoaster just never ends for Aragorn, does it???
Thanks for the review!
LisaG
· 5 February 2010
· Chapter 14: Ill News
Well, I feel better now that Elladan, Elrohir and Glorfindel are with Aragorn and his rangers...Halbarad now has someone to back him up in his vigil watching over his Chieftain!
But oh, Aragorn is still wallowing in guilt and fear which is probably heightened by his pain and lingering illness. He really needs to somehow snap out of these perpetual feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Oh and neat tie in to future events...Aragorn saying that he'll remember to use fire against the Nazgul...he'll need it at Weathertop! :)
Ok...on to more chapters!
Author's reply
Thanks, Lisa! I have to say I was a little relieved when those three showed up, too! Somehow it always feels better when Glorfindel's around. He was so handy with Frodo, after all. ;)
Enjoy the future chapters! Thanks for the review. :)
LisaG
· 4 February 2010
· Chapter 8: Flight
I was so glad that Aragorn's friend from the inn survived, but still, what a horrible loss!
The fight with the Nazgul and then to fend off the Black Breath was chilling. I felt as exhausted as Aragorn must have just reading it as he did in the fight itself.
Oh and I adore your Halbarad! Loved his rant telling Aragorn that he is indeed good enough! I only wish Aragorn would embrace his words of encouragement and wisdom, but I fear he's too beaten down physically, psychologically and spiritually to absorb the message and truly heal. :(
Author's reply
Thanks, Lisa... I often find myself wondering about all the chieftains through the years that had to deal with similar tragedy. Such a hard road they all had to walk, and I hope that each one had a Halbarad by his side to encourage and prop up. Halbarad has his hands full this time, for Aragorn's definitely in a state, and now he has the Black Breath working on him as well.
Rest up, because the story doesn't get much easier for quite some time!
Thanks for the review!
LisaG
· 3 February 2010
· Chapter 2: I Will Carry Your Sorrows
What a heartbreaking story so far...I can't imagine the indescribable pressure Aragorn must be under! Bad enough that he has the hope of his people resting on his shoulders, but also all of Middle Earth! And if he doesn't succeed in vanquishing Sauron and winning the throne of both Gondor and Arnor, he doesn't get to be with the woman he loves. How does a person deal with all that, plus all the heartache he sees as the leader of the Dunedain? You do an excellent job of relaying Aragorn's waning hope and increasing despair at his situation...plus the feeling of losing control over events and being unable to come out victorious in the end. I would want to run away, too!
I look forward to reading the rest of the chapters, where, I pray Aragorn can reclaim his hope and his spirit.
Author's reply
Thank you, Lisa... this one is definitely a heartbreaker for Aragorn, darker than my other stories but still with moments of light and friendship. Aragorn has such a seemingly insurmountable task in defeating the forces of Mordor, and doing so with a people who, while fierce and brave and noble, are facing near extinction. I can't imagine how he kept his hopes up, other than with a lot of help from those who love him. I hope you enjoy the story as it unfolds... thanks for the review!
Canafinwe
· 1 December 2009
· Chapter 2: I Will Carry Your Sorrows
There is something very strange, very unnatural, about Aragorn's urge to run. Not only because he isn't the sort to flee from fear or peril, but your writing imbues this feeling with such eerie urgency... *shudder*
The exchange between Halbarad and Aragorn is so painful. These two, as close as brothers, are not even able to express their grief or to find solace in one another's company. Their attempts at affable banter further underscore their desperate struggle to maintain control in the face of the terrible loss of their youngest compatriot. They need a hug, very, very badly!
"Aragorn winced. He *knows*." These four words speak volumes about Aragorn's state of mind. He is teetering on the edge of despair, afraid to confide in his cousin, unable to trust others to help him shoulder his burdens. How difficult it must be to be "the hope that all look to" when your own hope is flagging! But if he could not even confide in Elrond, Halbarad has little hope of piercing the darkness to reclaim Aragorn from it.
No danger WHILE they were being attacked, but only after? What on earth is going on here? It seems my earlier feeling was right: this fear isn't natural at all.
The scene with Mallor's mount was heartwrenching. Aragorn is even trying to bear the burdens of the horse! It seems impossible that he can keep this up much longer, but there are many, many chapters remaining. I confess I'm not sure how he can bear it! (Though I have no doubt that I shall enjoy it immensely).
The touch of camp humour with the remarks about Ranger cooking and Aragorn's rancid sausage are a welcome respite from the sombre tone of the rest of the chapter, but even here there are sobering notes. The men are afraid for their captain -- and rightly so, but that Aragorn's distress is so visible speaks volumes about his mental state. But of course "aye, every inch a king", he is not to be rebelled against: "The watches stay as they're set."
All in all, a chapter filled with foreshadowing and turmoil (and nasty meat!). I look forward to seeing where you take this.
Author's reply
Thank you most kindly, Canafinwe! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, with all its eerie foreboding and hints of darker things to come. You're right when you say that Aragorn is not one to run from battle, but he is also one that can rightly judge a field of battle and wisely retreat to fight again another day, and this is a situation where he feels that is exactly what is called for. Just what they will be fighting remains unknown, though! And even in the midst of turmoil and dangers and inner struggles he dare not speak aloud, there is still room for lighter moments. I've always felt Aragorn likely found refuge at times in lighthearted moments and never did he need it more than this day.
So... many layers to this chapter, and I thank you for touching on them all in your review!