The Findaráto Diaries by Fiondil
6336 · 10 July 2009 · Chapter 7: Departure and Arrival
I take it every Re-born's maze is differant? The Valar are a devious bunch, especially the Feanturi, aren't they! More please, Lynda
Author's reply
Some may experience the same maze while others will experience different ones, but each will experience a maze of some sort demanding choices that are tailored to them to some degree. And yes, the Valar are very devious, especially these two. *grin*
Ellie · 9 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
Loved the wicked desire to hide an ent in each of the gardens. That was too funny! Survivors guilt is a horrible thing and it looks like poor Finrod has much to suffer through before he will accept that it is okay that he is alive again. The love Namo shows him is wonderful. I still find it amazing how the Valar in their might can make the Eldar look as small children and yet when the Eldar are depicted on their own, then they are the mighty ones. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's reply
Hi Ellie. Well, the Elves are indeed Children and in the eyes of the Valar very young so it's easy to see how this would be. At the same time, of course, the Valar do treat the Elves generally with grave respect. Finrod and other reborn are a special case in that they are to a certain extent 'children' or certainly child-like in their responses. I am glad you are looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing. I really appreciate it.
Kaylee Arafinwiel · 9 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
I'm glad Yavanna isn't going to punish Finda further. And then, of course, there's this... "So now, there is only one last question that needs answering," he said. Findaráto turned his head to look up at the Vala, his brows creased with renewed worry. "Wh-what question?" Námo arched an eyebrow. "Why the question of who gets to eat the last scone, of course." Findaráto blinked at the unexpectedness of the reply and then, without taking his eyes off of Námo, he reached out and snagged the last scone, bringing it to his mouth and slowly taking a bite. Námo threw back his head and laughed, giving Findaráto another hug. "Hey! That was my scone, you naughty elfling," Yavanna protested in mock anger, fighting not to laugh. "Just for that, I’ll have to come up with a suitable punishment." Findaráto wasn’t sure if she wasn’t being serious, and he wondered if he should apologize before something bad happened to him but just then Olórin came to his rescue bearing another plate of scones and a fresh pot of tea. I think you get the last scone, Atar Fiondil. It's your story, after all. *beams* Tye-melin, Kaylee!
Author's reply
Thanks, Kaylee. I'm glad you think I should get the last scone. *lol* And I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for letting me know. Tye-melin.
njomo · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
Hi Fiondil, There are some precious gems in this chapter. Finrod’s line, "I... I hurt the flowers," makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. But when the flower drooped I was ready to cry along with Finrod. "Look, look what your tears have wrought." That is quite beautiful scene. And I also like the opening sentence. That and Yavanna's surveyal of the damaged garden set the tone for the rest of the chapter very well. And yes, Finrod's reaction to the sight of the destruction he wrought is quite telling and speaks well for him. I love Yavanna's answer when Finrod says he doesn't want to live again. And what Námo tells him is just the right thing. You've done a great job at articulating what Finrod is thinking and feeling at this time. It made me remember how difficult it was at certain times when I was young to figure out why I felt like I did and how hard it was to explain to anyone. In fact it was near impossible. I've probably said this at least once before, but Finrod (and the rest of the reborn) are so lucky to have such guardians and guides as the Maia and Valar. As always, thanks very much! Joanne
Author's reply
Hi Joanne. I'm glad you were able to find so manz gems in this chapter. Interestingly enough, they are my favorite parts of the chapter, too. *grin* I'm also thrilled that you think I've done such a great job in articulating Finrod's thoughts and feelings. I've tried not to make it all too schmalzy. Thanks for your lovelz review. I really appreciate it.
Kitty · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
As amusing as Yavannas idea to put an Ent into her garden is, I fear Námo is right; the shock would be too much for newly Reborn. The way Yavanna treated Finrod did probably much more good than if she had really punished him. I think he has learned his lesson; and the bit with the single bloom he replanted and that then started to recover and even glow was lovely! Looks like they finally got to the heart of the matter – the ‚whys’ surrounding his death and rebirth that are so difficult to grasp for Finrod. The two Valar were very nice to Finrod, and I think it will help what Námo told him about what his death achieved. Finrod might not understand all of the implications at the moment, but in time he may and feel better about it all. And even now it must be comforting to know that he didn’t die for nothing and that the Valar honour him for what he did. He needs the comfort, me thinks. The end left me snickering. No doubt, the ownership of that scone was the most important question in all of Arda :D
Author's reply
Hi, Kitty. I think every time a Reborn messes up one of the gardens Yavanna recontemplates the idea of sticking an Ent in each one. Even the Valar have their fantasies. *grin* Yavanna knows that Finrod was merely acting out his own frustration and anger and the garden was an easy target. Asking him what he was going to do to rectify his destruction was more productive than any 'punishment' she could have ministered. He has definitely learned his lesson. Knowing the reason behind his tantrum of course helps the Valar to address the actual problem and help Finrod to come to terms with what cannot be changed. I think once he begins to remember Beren and all that happened between them he will see his death in a new and more positive light. Glad you liked the ending. Námo does have a knack of lightening up the situation when necessary. *grin* Thanks for reviewing, Kitty. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Agape4Gondor · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
This was lovely - I'm glad there was no further punishment. How does one grow if one is always afraid, always looking over one's shoulder. Nicely done.
Author's reply
True, Agape. If one only knows fear, there can be no real growth. As Yavanna said, he's been punished enough by his own hands and every time he sees the scars on his palms he'll remember the lesson of the thorns.
Agape4Gondor · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Nicely done....
Author's reply
Thanks, Agape. I appreciate you letting me know you liked this chapter.
Larner · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
It is good to see the healing coming. Wonderful!
Author's reply
Thanks, Larner. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, healing is coming, slowly but surely.
6336 · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
Good, Finderato is finally starting to make some connections. Hm, I would notm mind being 'punished' with a Cream Tea! More please, Lynda
Author's reply
Would that all punishments included a Cream Tea. *lol* And yes, he's making connections. It'll take some time and we know that even a century later he'll still be making them, but this is a beginning.
Thalanee · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
I love this chapter, especially the bit at the end! After having to get up very early today and listening to two surprisingly boring lectures I was ready to drop down somewhere and give up on the rest of the day, but after laughing like that about the scenes in this chapter I feel much better. Thanks for brightening another day! (only two weeks to go until I´m finished with the exams... I can hardly wait for it- I might even be able to catch up on my sleep ;-) ) Reading the beginning I really wanted to give poor Finrod a hug. I wonder what Finrod will be up to next? Greetings, Thalanee
Author's reply
Hi, Thalanee. Ouch! Two boring lectures in a row. That's not good. *lol* Glad though that this chapter made you feel much better and brightened your day. Good luck on your exams. I'm sure you will do well. Thanks for taking the time during this busy period to let me know how much you are enjoying this story. I greatly appreciate it.
Sunny · 8 July 2009 · Chapter 6: After the Storm
This chapter made me want to give Finrod a hug, and then give him a big helping of homemade ice cream. Finrod's feelings of fear and confusion stood out very clearly here, probably because of the up-and-down emotional ride in this chapter. Well written!
Author's reply
Hi, Sunny. I'm sure Finrod would have appreciated the homemade ice cream, especially if it were chocolate. *lol* I'm glad you found Finrod's feelings believable and appropriate to the situation. Thanks for letting me know. I really appreciate it.
Larner · 6 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Ah--he returns to a more restful, proper sleep after the fitful hiding from the memories and nightmares he's known. Poor child indeed that he is at the time.
Author's reply
Poor child indeed, Larner. At least Námo was able to soothe him somewhat and ease some of the turmoil in his soul, though it will take time for him to come to terms with all that he is remembering.
trajar mandamar · 2 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
It seems to me that maybe Finrod's caregivers should've expected the Valar to take special intrest in this case.He is not only close kin to all 3 kings he is the first of the rebel Noldor to be reborn.I would think even though there are many reborn his would require extra-special care in his case.I think for the Valar this is a bit of a trial run on how to deal with a high ranking elf being reborn.I think Finrod is lucky to get such attention.
Author's reply
Hello! Yes, you are correct. While Finrod isn't the first of the Noldor rebels to be reborn, he is the first of the kings to be reborn and so he is indeed a special case, one might even say a 'test case' for the Valar and needs extra-special care. I think Finrod is lucky to get such attention, too, though perhaps he doesn't think so. *grin* Thank you for giving us your thoughts on this. I really appreciate you taking the time to do so.
6336 · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Poor Finda, he's not having a very easy time of it is he. First memories of his death, and now his brothers, I think I would be a little upset, I would be more inclined to throw things though and cuss people out!Namo would make a good father, look at all the practice he is getting! I think Tindimorel couold have been a little more sympathetic(sp?), an "I'm sorry." wouldn't have hurt and might have saved the roses. The reborn are like little children, they have very little control over their emotions, every thing is very 'now', very in the moment as it were, they become less passionate as they mature. A little loving guidance never hurts though. Hope Yvanna is not too hard on poor Finda, the roses were in the wrong place at the wrong time! The other Vala's ideas on how to get Finda's attention were quite revealing! This is a bit rambly, went in to get my teeth cleaned today and ended up having to have a cavity filled, think the anesthetic has spread to the brain, no fun! more please, Lynda
Author's reply
Hi, Lynda. Yes, Finrod is definitely in a bad place right now emotionally, but it's a necessary step towards integrating his past life with his present one. Perhaps Tindomerel could have approached the situation differently, but Finrod asked a point-blank question about his brothers and she responded to that. Finrod was looking for answers at that moment, not sympathy, something he would have dismissed in his emotional state. And let's face it, Finrod storming out of the cottage made it clear to the Maia that he was in no mood for honest sympathy from anyone. Anyway, Yavanna won't be too hard on him, though she will offer him a lesson to take with him into his new life. The other Valar's suggestions about how to get Finda's attention were made more in jest than to be taken too seriously, I think, though Varda's suggestion proved helpful. Hope the anesthetic has worn off enough to get your brain going again. I know what you mean. It's no fun at all. Thanks for taking the time to review, though. It isn't quite as rambling as you feared and I appreciate it.
njomo · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Hi Fiondil, I also was thinking about Glorfindel's gardening in contrast to this episode in Finrod's recovery. As Lord Námo keeps reminding everyone, the case of each reborn is different. But the contrast between these two had me chuckling-the contrast between an angry Finrod pulling up rose bushes and a sobbing Glorfindel deadheading roses.*grin* Perhaps it is a good thing that Finrod was outside in the garden and not inside-although it is unfortunate about the plants. At least Námo seemed to know the right way to get through to Finrod. And now onward to another day-and punishment. Can't wait to see what's in store for Finrod! Thanks Fiondil! Joanne
Author's reply
There is quite a contrast between these two 'gardeners'. *grin* Glorfindel's pulling up the asëa aranion was not a deliberate act of malice, whereas Finrod knew exactly what he was doing, poor ellon. And, of course, the image of the great Balrog-slayer sobbing as he's deadheading roses is too funny. Námo knows his elflings well, and knows just what to say (usually) to get through to them, as he does here with Finrod. Next chapter will see how Yavanna handles all this.
ellie · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
I felt so sorry for Finrod with what he was remembering. I think the maiar could have been a bit more compassionate than they were. I think it is interesting that special interest is being taken in Finrod rehab and reintegration into society. It does make sense. Finrod needs some warm fuzzies to make him feel better and some nice sweets, too. Hope the next chapter is happier for him!
Author's reply
Hi, Ellie. Well, the Maiar were as compassionate as they could be. There does come a time when you have to let the 'child' go his own way and not interfere as much as you would like to. Olórin and Tindomerel are doing just that, and Finrod isn't the first Reborn they've dealt with. Finrod, of course, is not just any Reborn, or any ellon. He is the first of the Kings of Beleriand to be re-embodied and he is the heir to the crown of the Noldóran. That makes him very special indeed and of course we know from Elf, Interrupted that the Valar have plans for him. Next chapter will not be so angsty, I promise.
Kitty · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Ouch. Finrod was rather badly affected by this particular memory and threw quite a temper tantrum! To damage the garden in that manner wasn’t right, of course. Though I feel sorry for Finrod himself; to have to deal with these feelings of guilt so early after his rebirth, emotional unstable as he is, has to be quite difficult. And being held to a higher standard than others as the firstborn son of the Noldóran can’t make it easier, either. The other Valar were quite ... um ... helpful with their suggestions how to wake Finrod up *grin* All in all, Námo was rather gentle with Finrod so far, for which I am glad. Though I doubt his explanation why Finrod was the first of Arafinwë’s sons to be released was the whole truth, I think it was the only one Finrod could have handled at this point in time. Telling him they have special plans for him or the like (which I guess is nearer the truth) would probably have caused even worse consequences.
Author's reply
Hah! The first to even comment on the other Valar! Thank you, Kitty. *lol* Anyway, what you say about Námo not giving Finrod the whole truth (does any Vala?) is probably a good bet. Finrod is only able to handle certain truths at this time and the reason Námo gives is true enough for Finrod to accept. And being the firstborn son of the Noldóran doesn't make it any easier, although at this time, he's not totally aware of the implications of what that means.
rick · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
So Finrod caused as much trouble as Glorfindel, or almost anyway! Surprise! (not). I'm really liking this whole sequence so far. I can sympathize with the rose-thorns bit - my forearms look like I've been slicing on myself above where the gloves stopped, after pruning my rosebushes this past weekend. Funny thing is, it doesn't actually hurt until later. Keep it up, I can't wait for the next one.
Author's reply
Hi, Rick. I'm so glad you are enjoying this story. I've tried not to make it a carbon-copy of Glorfindel's story, at least as regards his experiences in the Garden of the Reborn and eventually in Lórien, though there are obvious similarities that are commone with all Reborn. Too bad you can't get Lady Estë to come and heal your rose-thorn scratches. If I had the power I would send her your way. I guess you'll just have to do with lanacane instead. *grin*
Sitara · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Brilliant job this time, Lord of Mandos. And yes, I do mean it. "grin" It was exactly what Finrod needed to hear at that moment, the explanation regarding the fact that he, the last one to die of Arafinwe's sons was the first one to be re-embodied. (not that I did actually buy your story, by the way "wide grin"). However, at this moment, Finrod cannot handle more, so Namo's words were absolutely perfect for moment being, I believe. Now, when did the Lord of Mandos develop such parental abilities? He would make now a fine father, I think. "They learn how to hate all over again." Sadly, this is so very true. Aman or no Aman, it's still Arda Marred. I understand Finrod. I daresay that this feeling of hopelessness, guilt and pain over his brothers' fate won't dissapear with the passing of Ages (if this may be the case and, perhaps it would be ), even if it would be fading in time. But the feeling will be always there, until his brothers would be back. Excellent done, Fiondil. I don't feel very generous with praises these days , let alone towards the Lord of Mandos, but...what could I say now ? "grin" One thing though, Finrod.... Since you forgot about a proper bow, you might have at least stuck out your tongue at the Doomsman of Arda. Just to make my day, you know. LOL
Author's reply
Ah, high praise for the Lord of Mandos! Whether what Námo tells Finrod is the whole truth (unlikely given that he's a Vala and the Valar never give out the whole truth to anyone) or if there's more to it, the fact remains that what Námo tells him is what he needs to hear and, more importantly, is what he is able to hear and accept at this time. I'm sure that over time any guilt and such he might feel about his brothers' deaths will lessen and be placed in perspective and of course much of that guilt will be lessened once they are Reborn. Glad you liked this chapter, Sitara. As for Finrod sticking out his tongue at Námo... I don't think he was up to pressing his luck. Námo was definitely not in the mood for levity and neither was Finrod. There'll be other times, never fear. *grin*
Kaylee Arafinwiel · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Aww, poor Finda! *huggles him* But it was very naughty of him to take out his anger on the garden like that. I wonder what Lady Yavanna is going to do with him. *shakes head* Wait...if he has scars, will they be removed later? Because when Arafinwe saw him looking in the mirror before, he couldn't see any scars, could he? The one Tapestry story when they were talking about visible and invisible scars...the ones on Finda's old hroa "This is where Morgoth's werewolf bit me" and things like that. I hope Finda will feel better soon. Yes, he is his atar's firstborn and I suppose it is only mete that he be Reborn first. Tye-melin, Atar Fiondil! Kaylee
Author's reply
Hi Kaylee. Well, these scars will be faint one on the palms of his hands. The scars that he is looking for in the other story are the 'real' scars that he acquired through nearly 400 years of fighting orcs and such and of course the final one where the werewolf bit him. Those are the scars of his previous life; any scars he might acquire in his new life would not matter as much. We'll see in the next chapter how Yavanna handles the situation. At least Glorfindel's 'destruction' of his garden was unintentional, thinking he was pulling up weeds, but Finrod was being purposely destructive, taking his anger out on the rose bushes and other plants.
Sunny · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Ouch! Getting reborn obviously has its less happy moments. It is obvious that Finrod is in pain. Not _physical_ pain, but pain nonetheless. And evidently this is something he has to go through to become the person he is supposed to be.
Author's reply
That's correct, Sunny. It's something all Reborn have to deal with and Finrod is no exception. Reclaiming one's past is never easy but it is necessary. Luckily, Finrod has people who love him and care for him and try to help him through the turmoil of his memories. And we know, of course, that he does work through them and becomes the person that we all know and love.
Thalanee · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Poor Finrod... and the poor gardens.But after remembering his brothers the tantrum probably was inevitable in a way. He will have to learn to deal with things like that all over again. I wonder what punishment Yavanna will administer? I could imagine planting new roses and tending them, but we will see ;-) Deciding for one branch to specialize in was really hard. If I could I would do them all at the same time, but alas that´s not possible *sigh* no human would find the time for it. i love the little curiosities one stumbles upon: there´s so much to discover! Sadly most people think studying the past is a waste of time. But there´s so much to learn. Greetings, Thalanee
Author's reply
Hi, Thalanee. Yes, Finrod will have to deal with things like this all over again. As to what Yavanna's punishment is, we'll learn in the next chapter. It is unfortunate that so many think studying the past is a waste of time, yet, the past is the only marker we have towards the future. Our past defines us, both as individuals and as a people, and if we are unaware of the past we have no way of shaping the future. We just go along blindly, repeating our mistakes because we can't be bothered to learn from them or the mistakes of those who came before us. There are times when I wish I were an Elf with all the time in the world (literally) to study all the things I want to. *grin* Alas! that's not possible for us poor Mortals and it's so hard to choose....
Midnight Promise · 1 July 2009 · Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing
Hello! Ohh, poor Finda! :( Or should I say poor bushes? ;) Will we ever get to see Finrod's brothers? o-o Good job as always, enjoyed the chapter and cannot wait for more!
Author's reply
I'm not sure if we will see his brothers or not. Havent' gotten that far. *grin* I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, MP. Thanks fr letting me know.
Agape4Gondor · 27 June 2009 · Chapter 4: Facing the Darkness
Yikes! As always, my heart goes out to the brave and glorious Finrod Felagund... I know he grows from this, but oh my! The horror! Must be a wee bit difficult to write, dear Fiondil.....
Author's reply
Just a wee bit, Agape. I tried to show it as a dream sequence the way a pleasant dream suddenly and inexplictly changes into a nightmare, using the Ring of Barahir as the focus for the shifts, and at the same time convey the sense of horror and terror Finrod is experiencing both in the dream and in his waking mind. I'm glad that I succeeded in conveying all that. Things are not quite so bad for him after this, though that doesn't mean that every comes up roses, either. He still has a way to go.
Sitara · 26 June 2009 · Chapter 4: Facing the Darkness
Ah, Fiondil...just when I was about to say something real, real nasty, you had to go and placate me, didn't you? You had to make me remember that I'm addicted to your non-romantic fluff, just when I was preparing to have a word with Olorin and to find some people for putting a bit of blame on them ....oh well. Finrod's state of mind is now extremely delicate, so I can understand he's been upset at the thought of not seeing for a while his favorite star. I'm glad to see the Ainur treating him with such gentleness and love. About damn time, if you'd ask me. "grin" Somehow, to see the King of Nargothrond reduced to such a state is unsettling for me, you know. But, at the same time, I know there is no other way and even it's for the best. Yet one thing is to know it, but to actually experience it, it's a different matter altogether. And, because I keep drooling over the Lord of Mandos rocking Finrod in his arms (me and my darn soft spots), I'd give Namo a piece of advice, just in case. "grin" Actually, from his point of view, Finrod's case is in fact an easy one. I mean, he didn't do anything wrong actually, as to have to witness himself killing his kin or whatever. Namo must prepare himself because, at one point, he will be dealing with cases much more difficile than Finrod's and even greater horrors. I'm not speaking about certain cases, which I'm positive that are beyond his ability to handle, but about ones like Glorfindel's father, for instance. "shudder". I wouldn't want to be in his skin, really.
Author's reply
Hi Sitara. The Ainur have been treating Finrod with gentleness and love all along, though that doesn't mean he realizes it. *grin* It is very difficult to see anyone reduced to such a state of terror. Luckily, Finrod has a few people who genuinely care for him and are trying to help him through the darkness. As he grows stronger, he'll be able to face much of his past in a better frame of mind. Certainly his death and the manner in which it happened has to be the most horrific thing in his life; after that, everything else is easy (more or less). As for Námo.... well, he has his own experiences (as described in my "Wars of the Valar") to draw on when dealing with the Reborn... been there, done that, so to speak, though I imagine he does indeed leave certain cases to Atar to deal with.