Reviews (13)

This was charming and such a sweet, innocent romance. I am glad you decided on an Erestor/Losgael pairing, although I love the character of Glorfindel, Erestor and Losgael seemed to fit better. :)

You can nick anything you wish. I have read quite a few of your stories and I like your writing and ideas. This one just seemed quite thin, not so much with the ideas, but with the execution of them into a believable rounded story and I was a bit taken aback. It's unlike your other work in this respect. The notion of using Austen's work was quite brilliant though and if you look at the two societies, Regency England and the Eldar, some of their notions of propriety are not so very different from each other. I think you have the writing capability to have turned Celebrian's attenpt at matchmaking into both a very funny yet also a cautionary tale. Which is of course what Jane Austen did with most of her works.

I am guessing that Celebrian was based on Austen's Emma who was a prodigious matchmaker. Her character in the story was meant to be seen as high-handed. She had very few redeemable features and her meddling in the affairs of those around her nearly led to disaster for all concerned. It was only through those mistakes that she finally realised just how much harm she both did and could have done and also could have lost the love of her life who she alienated earlier on by her ill thought out actions. In that was her ultimate redemption. She learned her lesson and was rewarded by finding her own heart's desire. She had been so busy sorting everyone else out and doing it very badly, that she failed to recognise that someone's heart was actually engaged where she was concerned. Celebrian doesn't have that redemption. She is intefering shamelessly and using her desire for her friends' happiness as a justification. She further complicated an already complicated love triangle by meddling in something that shouldn't have been her concern and by doing so plumbed the depths of her friends' own inner nightmares, fears and self esteem, something that should not be done lightly. In essence she did exactly the same things that Emma did, but did not have any kind of redemption at the end of the tale. She learned nothing other than the maxim 'it all turned out right at the end', so there was no lesson learned and she would probably do it all again with another set of friends, but next time it might not be all's well that ends well and that's the risk she takes. There is no prize for her ultimately realising the error of her ways. She already has the love of her life, so what has she learned from it all? Absolutely nothing and she would probably do it all again in a heartbeat. Maerdess is arrogant and highly self-opinionated and her assumptions regarding Glorfindel based on her arrogant belief that he just HAS to love her because she is special and high born lead to her downfall and humiliation. She did it to herself of course as your description of her part in the story clearly shows. However, even through her attempts to redeem her previous actions she still comes across as arrogant. She tries to mute her behaviour and steers clear of Glorfindel, but she does it for the wrong reasons. She does it because she is humiliated and embarrassed because people were making fun of her, but underneath she hasn't changed at all. And Elves have long memories of course. Even at the end when she is planning her long awaited wedding to the man of her dreams she comes across as smug and self-satisfied, Personally I would have stuffed her wedding dress material down her throat, not offered to make it for her. I am honestly not sure WHAT you would do to redeem her and make her seem less unpleasant, but making her end up with the glorious Glorfindel isn't it. They are so wrong for each other it's unreal. Two selfish, arrogant individuals together in a marriage would be a recipe for disaster. Even in Austen's Pride and Prejudice, she did not put two characters of the same personality together in a union. Darcy was arrogant and full of pride but Elizabeth was neither. Her problem was that she just couldn't see past her own prejudices. She eventually redeemed him by example through her selfless actions regarding her family, letting him see the benefits and qualities that she had in abundance. He redeemed her by finally selflessly assisting her family, not to get into her good graces, but because he was still hurt by her rightful suggestion that he was an arrogant prig who thought of no one but himself. He wanted to show her that he had changed. With your budding romances I would have perhaps gone in quite another direction and had Maerdess end up with the gentle, courteous and kind-hearted Erestor because he at least could have taught her something. How to be a bit more humble perhaps? By the same token I would not have put the more gentle childlike Losgael with someone like Glorfindel, so you had the right of it there when she failed to get his attentions. Their union would have been a disaster and she is in no emotional position to take on a relationship with anyone, let alone someone with Glorfindel's monumental ego. She would have floundered and drowned in that relationship. She should have remained unmarried, at least until she came to terms with her childhood traumas. As for Glorfindel, well I don't think Tolkien intended him to be seen as a large, overgrown child with an inapropriate sense of humour and an ego the size of a small planet because of the warrior/Balrog Slayer reputation, bumbling through people's lives and acting like an idiot to the point where he did actual emotional damage to other people. However that is the way that Fanfiction writers apparently see him now. Even my story has him as not so much arrogant, but certainly with a very inappropriate sense of humour which I attempt to offset by his keenness of perception, wisdom and ability to sense when others need emotional support. This is Tolkien's description of him in Lord of the Rings: "Glorfindel was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold, his face fair and young and fearless and full of joy; his eyes were bright and keen, and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom, and in his hand was strength." He certainly didn't appear to be demonstrating much of that wisdom in his dealings with Maerdess and Losgael, nor even with Celebrian. Perhaps if your Glorfindel had called upon his innate wisdom he might have seen what damage he was doing by his actions. My only suggestion with regard to him is to make him less pompous and arrogant and give him more self-effacement. You can still give him a boyish sense of humour, but temper it with wisdom and an ability to perceive the feelings of other people. The Glorfindel in your story doesn't feel strong to me. He feels sulky and weak-willed and even when he finally decides that Maerdess is what he wants, he doesn't use his wisdom in the courtship. Instead he goes in like a bull at a gate and quite rightfully gets a slap upside the head for his pains. So, in conclusion: You can still make Celebrian match-make, but let her do it with humour. Make her at least a little self-deprecating and let her also understand at the end that far from bringing her friends together in love, her meddling could have hurt someone. Not all things turn out well at the end. I would have let Losgael just be herself. She went through a series of self flagellating emotions and at the end would have seemed a stronger character if she had finally put her foot down and said 'enough is enough' rather than let herself to be coaxed into a convenient relationship with Erestor who certainly doesn't deserve the potential timebomb that he has been landed with. Maerdess should have self-redeemed herself to the point where she FULLY realises Glorfindel is totally wrong for her. Her interactions with the Imadris Rumour Control Mill should have taught her a lot more about herself and how others see her and just going quiet wouldn't be enough to alter her mindset. Losgael's gentle good behaviour, quiet sacrifice of her own dreams for the geater good and gentle friendship should also have taught Maerdess something, but instead she ends up getting the guy and acting smug. The last thing she needs is a marriage with the smug, self-centred, opinionated Balrog Slayer, because they will end up striking sparks and grating each other. He can teach her nothing. Erestor however could have taught her how to be humble and many good relationships are based on opposites attracting each other. He could have coaxed out the nice part of her that had started to appear, whereas all I see in a marriage with Glorfindel is them both constantly trying to get the upper hand over each other. It's very tempting to make a story have a conveniently happy ending, but life generally is not like that and no matter how hard I try, I cannot see the three couples, Elrond and Celebrian, Erestor and Losgael, Glorfindel and Maerdess sitting down to dinner together all lovey dovey and cutsie pie. One wrong word out of Glorfindel would have Maerdess upending the soup tureen over his head and rushing off in high dudgeon, screeching "You never really loved me!" as she hurtles out of the door. Celebrian would then take it upon herself to try and bring them back together. This would lead Glorfindel to grab Elrond aside and tell him to stop his medddling wife from intefering in his marriage, whereupon Elrond would bristle and try to defend his wife despite the fact that secretly he agrees that she meddles too much. He would then lecture Celebrian on the problems attached to meddling and she would then get annoyed with him and not speak to him for days on end. In the midst of this Erestor and Losgael may draw comfort from the the fact that they at least rub along well each other, until Losgael comments to him that she feels that Glorfindel didn't REALLY deserve being covered in soup or locked out of his bedroom by his wife for a week. However this may then fan the flames of Erestor's secret fear that he was always Losgael's second choice and that her championing Glorfindel means that she still carries a torch for him. And all that, of course, is another story entirely! Oh whant a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! ;)

It's strange, although your story is very good and finishes with a nice happy ending, I still get the impression that Maerdess and Glorfindel are both rather shallow creatures who would probably deserve each other in real life. Losgael gives the impression of a giddy airhead, Celebrian is an interfering old harpy and the only ones who come off looking good are Elrond and Erestor. All that aside, the intricacies of the relationships and the plot are very well drawn and I think it's very brave to marry either Glorfindel or Erestor off at all. I see them both as perennial bachelors. Your story has all the hallmarks of a good movie romance/weepie and the happy ending would serve to satisfy all but the hardest of hearts!

Your writing is wonderful, I'm really captured and taken in by the story and can't wait for it to continue! Great job!

I've been half-following this as you've posted it (unfortunately the bulk of your posting has been during times when I've had limited internet), and I have to say that I really like what you're doing with it! I do know that I could turn to ff.net and get the ending, but I don't particularly want to spoil myself and all of the complications and developments of the characters and plots is much more fun to watch unfold anyway. This is pretty much what I would imagine would happen if Jane Austen ever started writing about elves. ^_^ Anyway I'll try to get back to some earlier chapters and comment on them if I have time, as this story needs far more reviews than it currently has!

I should have commented earlier, because I am enjoying this story very much. Celebrian seems to be having way to much fun playing matchmaker. It will be fun to see how you manage to weave Glorfindel into falling in love. As always, I look forward to the next chapter.

I've quickly caught up on the chapters and have been enjoying myself thoroughly. This is a lovely story especially given the obvious romance focus. However, I think the story would be improved if the shifts in persepective were not so sudden and there was a little more stage time for the the main protagonists. For example, the coversation between Buiowen and Anuhim was a little jerky in the previous chapter. You started with "The other Elves noticed this, and remarked upon it." and then followed it by the conversation directly. I would have deleted that para completed as the conversation is clear enough without it. With the para the chapter reads more like "sumary followed by exposition". I liked chapter 15 a lot more - it revealed a little more of Losgael, who is such a gentle character. I am not sure her immaturity comes through but her graciousness does. I will have to go back and re-read it again to pay more attention to her. I find her a more well realised character than Glorfindel actually. I actually felt a little annoyed with him on Losgael's behalf - a good thing I think. Well done and I hope you update soon as you can. Also, do you know that the story is appearing as "complete" on the site?

Losgael is an all round well developed and convincing character. This especially shows in her interactions with other females. Her hopes and fears, her smaller and greater worries, her slowly developing confidence are all believably portrayed.

An interesting pair of matches here. I'm as confused in many ways as is Glorfindel.

She does appear rather young and inexperienced, in many ways--and I mean that not as a disparagement but merely as an observation. She must come to appreciate herself ere she seek to draw another to her, I fear.

I had to read chapter one on FF.n as it appears blank in my browser here on SOA. I found when I first started posting here that I had to save my files in Rich Text Format and post that, or they wouldn't post correctly. Fiondil recently had difficulty posting due to an unfamiliar word processor or browser, I believe, and had a chapter or two he had to repost to have everyone read it. You might ask him of his experience and see what he had to do to get things posting properly. That done: A lovely chapter. Poor Losgael sounds as if she has a good deal to work through. And to have her love unrequited would be a great grief indeed. I hope Glorfindel is able to reassure her.

May he appreciate it indeed. She has wrought well, it would appear.