JustMe
· 15 September 2003
· Chapter 4: Companions of the Hunt
I love the way Eilian handles Tinar. The attempt of reverse psychology is really cute. In the stories that we originally met Galelas, I thought that he was kind of obnoxious, but compared to Tinar, he is actually lovable! It isn't hard to see where Galelas gets part of his personality from, is it? Speaking of lovable, once again I have to say that my favorite lines belong to Gelmir - "If I kill him - can I have that sword?" and "my naneth says that even Orcs have their uses". I laughed so hard I almost cried! There are just some people that never seem to learn their lesson and I am afraid that Tinar is one of those.
Speaking of never learning their lesson - I fear that Legolas and Annael will once again be lead astray by that whirlwind of trouble, Turgon. As naughty as he is, he is the one that I feel the most sorry for. It seems as though his parents don't take alot of interest in him and he has to feel left out. His friends all have parents that are strict about their behavior. And while freedom is nice, it's also nice to know that someone cares enough about you to be worried. This elfling needs limits and boundries! I cannot help but shudder at the fiasco I know is coming if these three disobey orders and go hunting at night (which I already know they will do!).
May the Valar protect them when Thranduil finds out!
Dragon-of-the-North
· 15 September 2003
· Chapter 4: Companions of the Hunt
Ultra-short review this time (you know why), but I couldn't wait to read - and this is wonderful. :-) I especially liked the Eilian part of chapter 4 and the banter among the warriors... Oh, and the fact that, in this case, only spiders were hunted, not orcs... Thanks again for alerting me to the story - I shall read on as soon as I have got some more spare time (for given your updating speed, there will be 2 or 3 further chapters before my exams are over ;-)).
Tigerlily713
· 14 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
What a delightful chapter! I read in while in church...bad Lily. Anyway, I was almost sure those heavy footprints would be Orcs, or that the trio would follow the Men's raft all the way to Esgaroth or something horrible like that. Good to see you have a firmer grasp on reality than I do. And yes, that underwear website was very...ummm...interesting. I love seeing names I recognize on the world wide web. Makes me a feel a bit less insignificant. Lovely chapter; I think I had a few people reading over my shoulder in church!
Sekhet
· 14 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Daw
First of all, profoundest apologies for not reviewing this before now. My only excuse is that I'm deep in finishing a story of my own – not LoTR. I don't write within LoTR – and it's rather dominated me for the last few days. I think I'm on the home stretch, but have hit yet another little arid patch (sigh).
So, back to your excellent and amazing story. I think that I confined my comments on chapter 1 to squeals of joy – they haven't abated in either of the subsequent chapters!
Things I really loved :
"Tinár had… managed to antagonize almost all of his fellow warriors with an arrogance that was outsized even for an Elf." That made me laugh! Even Eilian then, knows that the elves are little superior! And Gelmir's threat to shoot Tinar was priceless – although I think the revenge that Miri eventually inflicted on him was almost as devastating and more fun. And shooting Maltanaur – I'm surprised that hot tempered Eilian didn't feed the idiot to the next spider they came across. Eilian is learning to control himself. I had to laugh over the "fearsome and cool" description. He is Thranduil's son, after all.
Nice little sidelight into Turgon's homelife, and interesting that Legolas does recognise his friend's shortcomings. A pity that Turgon is so fascinating - doubt Thranduil would agree! And I liked the way that Legolas is growing up and thinks he's too old for embraces – my nephew was exactly the same at about 10 or 11. At fifteen, he's affectionate and loving again. Hormones, eh! You don't mind adolescents having them, but WHY do they insist on inflicting them on the rest of us?
In the next chapter, it's interesting to see that the Elves' contact with men is to trade for weaponry, and an intersting light on Elven society that this is a skill they don't have for themselves. Loved the bit about the other man not being able to meet Ithilden's eyes and Ithilden's vague interest in why – although I do wonder if Cadoc presages the Easterlings of twenty years later, with his interest in what's going on around him. It may be no more than curiosity, but then again it may be a lot more than that…
The rafting adventure was really exciting – I got a little worried about my favourite elf! Just loved the bit when they got home and Thranduil's reaction to this damp, muddy and limping little elf-child – and the part where Legolas stood on one leg, pressing his foot against the other, was priceless. Kids just do things like that. Thranduil was amazingly restrained, I thought, and is a very wise father. The way that he knew from the unexpected embrace he got that Legolas had been frightened by it, and his resignation about it all, was incredibly good and spot on to the character you've created for him.
Very well done – I'm loving this, as usual
Sekhet
Dot
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Ah, the dwarves came through so far… I really liked the look at Ithilden in this chapter. It’s interesting to see his worries and his attempts to ensure that his people have sufficient armour, probably much as his father did. It’s also such an insight into their society, particularly the part about how so few elves are apprenticed to armourers; they seem to craft weapons out of necessity but rarely out of pleasure. It’s kind of sad that he can only appreciate his troops in terms of how deadly they are but at the same time it says much about him that he is so determined to offer the realm the best protection possible.
Great job with the little adventure! It was so vivid that I was seriously worried there for a while! And I hope Legolas has sense enough not to mention any similarities between Turgon and Eilian at home… So they found the buck’s prints? I sense another adventure coming up….! I loved the “voice of Thranduil” bits as well – so touching and, well, kind of funny too if you don’t mind me saying so!
Lovely ending! I’m still smiling at the scene where Legolas kissed his father. Although, surely Thranduil doesn’t really think that the wrecked raft means the end of adventures for Legolas and his friends…?!:)
The Karenator
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Daw,
I didn't even touch anything that time and the review just went. It is supernatural! I'm a litle afraid.......
My favorite part of this chapter was when the Little Explorer skidded back into the palace and Ada looked at his grimy little foot and he stood up and placed it against the other leg. (whew...I'm hurrying before I get cast into the depths again.) What a wonderful little behavior that is so realistic for that age. You do an extraordinary job of working in those kinds of age appropriate behaviors in your stories. I find them very pleasing and they always give me a happy smile.
You said you thought the pace was a little slow. It may be a bit slower than usual, but I can't think of anyone I would rather take a slow stroll through Mirkwood with than this royal family. I see what I think are set ups for the future. I would not have noticed it had you not mentioned it. By the way, some of my best friends are geeks, (I am, of course, ultra cool and therefore mainly unproductive. It takes a lot of time to be so detached)....So...isn't being a geek a good thing? I mean, we don't like to wait on your next chapter. :>) Seriously, I'm enjoying this story and look forward to where your little clues lead us. Karen
The Karenator
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Daw,
The weapons shipment looks good, but I didn't like the way one of the men kept looking around. I have a bad feeling about him. And Ithilden make a mistake in payment! This man has been listening to dwarven gossip.
Well, the Adventures of Huck, Tom and Jim-Bob got off to big start. I was glad to see Legolas recall his adar's words about swimming instead and staying clam when they found themselves in the river. And then they found the mega deer's tracks. I see another adventure coming on.
Brenda G.
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Well, I have just finished Chapter 3 and liked it very much. I keep trying to visualize what Legolas looks like at this stage. It gave me insight when you described him as thin when he stood before his father. Most kids his age are very lean, I suppose because they are (1) young and (2) active. I'm sure his hair would already be about as long at this stage as it will ever get. He invokes protective feelings in me as I read about him, so I can well understand Thranduil's tendency to be a mite overprotective of his youngest son. What a treasure Legolas is and with a good father to guide and mold him. The older brothers must either cringe or smile a lot as they watch Legolas taking the paths growing up that they have already traveled. It might be very interesting when you finish your stories of Legolas to backtrack and give us some insight into Eilian'a and Ithilden's more memorable moments of childhood. The older brothers have many fans in their own right by now. I, for one, would love stories like that.
Well written, well done... Don't you ever get tired of praise??? Post again soon. I'm always ready for more good stuff from you.
BG
naneth
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
What a delightful "Tom Sawyer" type adventure for the young ones! Legolas is a very brave young man-he conquered his fears and kept his head. Well done! Love the scene with his father when he tucks his injured foot against his other leg. I've seen children do that so often. Well written as always!
Jay of Lasgalen
· 13 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Another chapter! I do like your tales of little Legolas, and the fun he gets up to with his friends. It's interesting to see the normal childhood pursuits contrasted with the adult concerns and growing shadow.
The raft sounds great fun! We have an annual raft race here, down the River Dart, with about a hundred rafts entered. My son (19) has taken part twice with his friends - and their raft was certainly 'unique', I've never seen anything like it. He had better luck than Legolas, though, and finished the course both times. Most of them sink!
Jay (envying you the quick updates - new work committments leave me less time for writing. But I'm about halfway through chapter 9 of The Search.)
LOTRFaith
· 12 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Hey Daw:-) Great chapter. I really like Turgon:-) He has the slight arrogance and full confidence in himself that usually seems to bode not so well. :-)
I have taken your suggestion and ;-) I hope you will enjoy the results. Don't worry about reading it though. I know how busy life can get. I will most likely be posting on Sunday the 14th.
But anyway enough of me. I love your stories and often go back and read them all just for the heck of it!
Namaarie!
LOTRFaith
Nilmandra
· 12 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
I think one of the things that most impresses me about your writing is how I can 'see' the characters at their different ages and they ring so true in their words and actions. I might see a younger elf, or that elf grieving or hurting; or getting into mischief - but it is beleiveable and in character for the person. I also see growth in them - amazing, really, since you don't write your stories entirely chronologically.
So, in this one, Ithilden is perfect. We see him later, more mature and wise, but still Ithilden - just one that has grown. Turgon is wonderful in a sad way - so in character for the young elf we know he becomes. Thranduil has grown as a 'single' father since the last story - I loved seeing him with Legolas this story - and with Ithilden. And Legolas is wonderful at this age - he is a pretty happy child, not into too much trouble, and has established his place in this motherless family so that while Nana is missed, he is not lacking.
Now *evil cackle* I also know to some degree where this story is heading, and I love the setup! *gloats at all the jealous readers who aren't the beta and dont' get to know this stuff* Kidding, really, but I am excited. This is well paced.
LKK
· 12 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Another fine chapter, daw! The part that stands out for me most this time was Thranduil's restraint after the rafting incident. I could tell that he was frightened and worried for his son. And wanted to chastise Legolas out of his concern. Yet he managed to restrain himself. That's a very nice way of showing how their relationship is evolving as the father comes to terms with his son's growth. Thranduil might not be always be so patient, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. And you demonstrated it very well. :-)
JustMe
· 12 September 2003
· Chapter 3: Up and Down the River
Legolas is certainly getting his share of excitement! A wild ride on the river and now discovering the tracks of the elusive buck. If Thranduil had any idea what these elflings are up to he would probably have a coronary! There are some things that parents are better off not knowing about.
Ithilden is so suave in his dealings with the men. He reminds me of one of those people who would be able to sell you something whether you needed it or not. He has been well trained by Thranduil and definately has the personality and temperment to follow in his Adar's footsteps. His care and concern for his warriors is admirable - but I would want to always be on his "good" side. I shudder to imagine an angry Ithilden!
I can't wait to see what "adventures" our mischevious trio get into next time!
LKK
· 12 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
I liked the hunting scene, daw. I literally gasped when Maltanaur was struck. (You've made me care so much about your OCs!) I have to admit I didn't pick up on the fact that the elves were in the trees while they searched until several paragraphs into the hunt itself. I guess my mind is still too mortal and bound to the earth. I loved Eilian's ending comment about having been reprimanded many times by Thranduil Oropherion and knowing how to be fearsome and cool at the same time.
Legolas' idolation of Eilian just makes me go "Awwww". Even his brother Eilian said that the lessons were important, and Eilian never said things just because grown-ups were supposed to say them, even though he was grown up. If that's not the epitome of younger brother hero-worship, I don't know what is. And I just *knew* that things weren't going to go well between Legolas and the older elves when it came to that buck.
Quick question: what is the meaning of Sadron’s name?
Once again, a great chapter!
The Karenator
· 9 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
Daw,
Another interesting chapter. Tinár is certainly a character! You've given us a glimpse into him in your previous stories, but I have enjoyed seeing the circumstances that Eilian described in those earlier stories. Poor Gelmir. Tinár is certainly condescending. I loved it when Gelmir told Eilian that the boorish one might not escape the other warriors' arrows. And his stray arrow hit Maltanaur! At least in Eilian's reckless behavior days, he never shot another warrior! I'd have to agree that it is time to send Tinár on his merry way. Where would you place someone like him? You can move him to another unit, but he will still be a pain. His next commander will not be pleased.
The younger guys are prepped for adventure. Legolas and his buddies are off to the hunt. However, they did drift a bit further than Thranduil usually allows Legolas. It can get awfully easy to just keep going. I wonder how far they will get before they get into trouble. Turgon's family is interesting and it was sad when Legolas realized Turgon had never spoken of hunting with his father. I don't get the impression that his parents are bad folks, just not too clued in. They seem to take too much for granted. Kind of reminds me of parents today who are so busy with their own lives and responsibilities that they miss the warning signs of something amiss with their youngsters...or they simply don't know how to deal with it and chose to ignore it. I can't decide if they are blissfully ignorant or suffer from voluntary ignorance. Either way, poor Turgon suffers the neglect. Legolas and Annael fill a real void in his life.
In the end scene, I loved the sweet little hug Thranduil gives Legolas and couldn't help but smile at the elfling pulling away because he was too old for such displays. Finding that separation from parents is sometimes hard, especially for the parent! I've been lucky, my boys never went through that...they have other separation behaviors. At 15 and 17, they still hug and kiss me in public and tell me they love me. Many of their friends do, too. But I guess Legolas's reaction is more the norm. I've seen this with many of my friends and I know they are good parents. It's just the kid's way of developing. It just kills the poor parents! (Thanking my lucky stars!) As for Legolas, later, we see that he is able to feel secure in Thranduil's love and doesn't push him away overly much. I'm glad. Thranduil needs hugs, too. Waiting eagerly for the next installment. Karen
Brenda G.
· 8 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
Very satisfying chapter. Spiders...they give me the creeps! Giant spiders is something I am glad only elves know about. Tinar needs to be taken down a notch or two. He really didn't seem all that upset that he had shot a fellow warrior. Maybe if the roles were reversed, he'd wake up and smell the coffee (I mean, tea). I have a feeling his "day is coming." I'm so delighted that this chapter had so much of Eilian in it. Love that Eilian Thranduilion! He speaks to me more than any of your characters. Maybe its his sense of things that I find appealing. He's a bit reckless and all rascal. You've never described him in much physical detail, but I'll bet he's drop-dead gorgeous to boot. Eilian rules!
Legolas is so endearing at this age. I can just see him at his books, one eye on the text, one eye on the door. Just like a kid. You make him so adorable in the way he thinks and feels and the things he does and doesn't do. I love his friends, and my heart goes out to Turgon because I now know that his father has never taken him hunting. Ah, well, his buddies will soon help make up for that lack.
Daw, you never cease to amaze and delight me. Thanks for this chapter. What a nice way to end the day.
BG
JustMe
· 8 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
So we get a chance to get to know Galelas' older brother a little better. I think my favorite line belongs to Gelmir this time - "Not if one of us shoots him first". Positively priceless!! I laughed out loud at that one. Tinar really is an overbearing braggart. Eilian enjoyed seeing Gelmir lose his cool, but he had a different reaction to Tinar's reckless behaviour when it resulted in the injury of one of the warriors. Ah the temper of Oropher rears its head again!
So the elflings have once again encountered the "older" ones. Those older elves should not underestimate the determination of these youngsters! This can only lead to conflict - and with Turgon around, who knows what trouble that can result in.
And by the way, I do not have a way into your PC - but after reading all of your LOTR stories, I guess I just have a sixth sense as to how these characters will react to certain situations! It's like being able to figure out how a member of your own family will react to something! I guess that's how I've come to think of these delightful characters you have created.
Lamiel
· 8 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
Someone needs to smack Tynd. Sigh, I guess even Elves have to put up with bullies in their youth. But Legolas handles it well, and he's as honest and polite as ever, even when it's to his disadvantage or a blow to his pride. I do love that little Elf. And Tinar is going to be a problem too. He isn't related to Tynd by any chance, is he?
One small critique: the first part of this chapter felt a little rushed to me. All dialogue, rather quick, and not a lot of time for character reflection or feelings. It works fine here, but that's something you might watch for in future chapters. Eilian is in the Southern patrol, and he's got to be feeling some extra tension and fear from the darkness of the Shadow there.
I'm having some trouble keeping up with everyone posting on all the different sites. I did review your first chapter on ff.net, but I'm not sure it sent. I got an error message. I guess I'll have to try again later.
Many thanks for another great story, and for your frequent updates!
Lamiel
naneth
· 8 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
I most loved the end of this chapter. I can just picture Legolas leaning against his father until he remembered he was "too big" for such things! Why do boys do that, anyway? They grow up much too quickly for our liking. Makes me thankful for my girls-they still like to get hugs, as long as it's not TOO public!
Nilmandra
· 8 September 2003
· Chapter 2: Hunting
I love seeing Eilian like this! He has grown up in so many ways - now a lieutenant, he is more self-controlled and now leading. Tinar needs to be chopped off at the knees, I am afraid. And I still like Maltanaur - what a great character he has turned out to be - even injured he is helping Eilian.
Legolas and his friends are great - just like young boys would be expected to be. They understand responsibility, but you can see them wishing to push those boundaries into being older. The older elflings are are a bit arrogant - clearly forgetting they were that young once. But, we know they turn out well and will work with Legolas one day.
Fun to see Amdir too :D, even if he is a screeching toddler!
The Karenator
· 7 September 2003
· Chapter 1: Desirable Weapons
Daw,
Glad to see the family Thranduil back. I've loved the little hunting trip with Adar. What a great way for father and son to spend time together. And it's the type of fatherly instructions that are welcome. The big buck added some excitement. Everyone wants his antlers on their wall! Sounds as if Turgon is going to lead them on a little expedition. Uh oh! The archery exercise was very interesting. I'm impressed with all the little ingenious practices and drills you create for them. They are quite good. I loved the part when Turgon defends Legolas and Riolith tells him that he is so amusing. Turgon may be a bit of a wild card, but he is a loyal friend.....with a sprinkling of a Rebel Without A Cause. Riolith is such an arrogant 30 something elfling. I suppose he thinks himself pretty grown up ..... especially compared to the little guys. We know he grows up well, so this glimpse into his early years is kind of fun. Kids are kids no matter what the race, I guess.
Are we going to learn what Eilian had to say in his letter? He is such a good big brother and seems to have taken on a role of nurturing Legolas after their naneth died. . So what's happening with the dwarves? I'm looking forward to finding out. Good beginning. As always I'm looking forward to more. Carry on........Karen
Brenda G.
· 6 September 2003
· Chapter 1: Desirable Weapons
Oh, what a delightful discovery - a new story by you! You've set a fine stage so far - hunting the large buck and all the scrapes and bumps that adventure will bring about for the three young elves sporting their new, unaccustomed adult-sized bows. It is no use wondering how many misadventures it will take to make Legolas realize he should not listen to any of Turgon's suggestions. We know that as long as Turgon lives, he never changes - going from one self-appointed disaster to the next, usually with Legolas in tow. It will be very interesting if Legolas gets to meet a dwarf in this tale, and I foresee the potential for much humor as this story progresses for all concerned.
I told you in my last email that I was "eager" for another story. Some wishes actually come true!! Thanks, Daw. I'm grinning from ear to ear, and it's all your fault!
BG
Nilmandra
· 6 September 2003
· Chapter 1: Desirable Weapons
I really like seeing Legolas with Thranduil - in my mind I see that years of establishing the 'new' father-son relationship from the last story has had a good impact on Legolas. He is growing up, he values his father and the time his father spends with him, and we see him starting to think and see outside his own little world. It is no longer just the palace and his friend's cottages, but the forest and his Ada's realm.
Nice scene with Ithilden and Thranduil. I know just how Ithilden feels. I hate it when I run 'Operations' and must depend on my CEO or whoever to get me what I need to be effective. They are playing the negotiating game, and I just know I need the stuff! Well done, as always.
Easiest beta chapter perhaps ever, I think :)
LKK
· 6 September 2003
· Chapter 1: Desirable Weapons
Very good story start, daw. The depiction of Legolas' frustration about not being a skilled enough hunter was spot on --- palpable but not over the top. I just hope that his growing possessiveness concerning the buck doesn't lead him into trouble with Riolith. (Although I suspect it will! LOL)
I also liked your depiction of his personality at age 10. He's starting to mature into a preteen and yet the child is still there as well. They were the only letters that Legolas got, and he always felt very grown up when he used his dagger to loosen the seal and opened the folded parchment. For a child, receiving a letter is always a delight because it is such a grown up thing to get. It was a very nice touch to include that.