Reviews (63)

Leithian · 8 March 2025 · Chapter 20: Things Come to a Head

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘛𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳?” 𝘛𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘶𝘯 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘖𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳. “𝘐’𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳, 𝘖𝘭𝘢𝘯,” 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥. “𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥? 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘞𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘥𝘰. 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵. 𝘈 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘒û𝘻 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯.” Oh no! “𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘴,” 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘌𝘻𝘦𝘯 𝘒𝘦𝘮𝘳𝘢, “𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥.” 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘒𝘳â. “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦.” Hamujil is so brave to accept and I really hope he doesn't regret it... Let's hope that Ezen Kemra is a man of his word. The last part of the chapter, though, was pure gold. And somehow, that unnamed Hwenti elf has all the grace of a High-Elf. Take care

Lindelea · 8 March 2025 · Chapter 17: Back Home

Tiny crumbs of snow fell down in swift, straight lines around her like so many shooting stars. Nice. I've experienced such snow, as well as giant flakes floating down in eerie silence. The casual greetings immediately followed by the fervent embrace was sweet. Hmmm. "loyalties tested" and "one passenger" sounds... troubling, somehow. Hamûjil's humility shows his quality, I think (rather like Sam's description of Faramir); he seems to elicit respect and honour from almost all those around him, if I'm reading the scene correctly. Why else indeed. Um. Is this supposed to make me uneasy? So the chain is made from priceless mithril? (Is the flute, too? Probably not, considering how rare the metal is.) Sigh. I used to spend many happy hours in the corner of one coffee house or another. (Long-handled coffee pot. Like Turkish coffee? I may be remembering wrong.) Oh dear. The gossip is distressing. And, of course, it brings the plan to the attention of malevolent ears, I should think. A strong light source. Hmmm. Something comes to mind...

Lindelea · 4 March 2025 · Chapter 16: Turnaround

So the traitor was in the room with us last night. That's a really distressing thought. Oh my. She pulled out the big guns, it sounds like. The nuclear option? Jarin's back! (And I think I may have an idea of what Diri's suggesting...)

Lindelea · 24 February 2025 · Chapter 15: In the Dark

Thank you for explaining about the white peacock! That helps. Now I don't have to go back and read earlier chapters but can press on and go forward... Poor Margig, I was wondering how he was coping with his daughter's prolonged absence. I like that he goes ahead and makes the festive cakes, remembering Jarin as he works. Hmmm. Wan is wary of elves, is he? Uh-oh. Elves. Most of these elves seem rather silly – which could be dangerous. I'm glad that Lossë seems friendly. Let's hope it lasts. After they meet the one who chides the "children" for always wanting to save their lands, I feel sorry for these elves. What makes them different? indeed! But I have to wonder if the Hwenti would actually be able to defend themselves if a battle arose. They seem awfully jaded and hollow. Is this what fading looks like? Miriel sounds wiser than Tilar. I love the description of the winter solstice celebration. But oh no! Vani's statue is smashed and the darkness cannot be dissipated, it seems!

Lindelea · 22 February 2025 · Chapter 14: Shifting Perspectives

O good, you're adding to the story! I know that feeling of looking in the same places three and four times all too well. Not for young princes, though, just for things I mislay absent-mindedly. However, this doesn't look like a case of absent-mindedness. I suppose they might be able to find the palantír to find him. But maybe not. She held her lantern high – it made no difference to the search but it just seemed the thing to do. One of those unconscious gestures that you don't think about as you're doing it (but adds an extra note of reality to the scene). Oh! Is the peacock that hasn't settled yet and is thus sounding a piercing call unsettled because the boy is there? (I'm confused. He ran away and hid in the aviary and fell asleep?) I got lost at the mention of "Vani" and the pale shape. (Mentioned earlier in the story, perhaps? I may have to go back and look.) Interesting invention. I find myself wondering if it might be used to confuse/deceive an enemy force (peacefully and non-violently)? The seekers' methodology is fascinating. The administration of the poison is subtle and fiendishly clever and, thus, quite disturbing. Diri's comment about the dragons is interesting, considering his invention. Hmmm. I wonder what will happen in the morning...

Leithian · 22 February 2025 · Chapter 19: Showdown at Mil Nahara

Thanks for another amazing chapter. I like the little touches you've given e.g. Jarin being heavier for Wan after telling a lie and the Steppe life of the Krâ. The citizens of Mil Nahara singing their 'national anthem' reminds me of that scene in Casablanca. BTW what is Hwenti? Is it a name for the elves? The commander that was worried about being poisoned should've remembered that if the Elves wanted to kill him they would've done so without him ever knowing lol. I don't know about your story, but if the Krâ are based on steppe tribes, they would be pretty warlike I think. There are always occasional skirmishes over flocks, water Wells, and grazing pastures. So I'd disagree with Pallando, but plz tell me if I'm wrong about the Krâ in your story. Waiting eagerly to see Hamujil's plan in action. Till then

Lindelea · 18 February 2025 · Chapter 13: Lines of Inquiry

You're welcome. I seem to process a story better when I respond to the things that jump out at me. (And I know that the same benefit comes to me through reviews on the stories I'm writing; reviewers' impressions often help me see the characters or other elements of a story more clearly. So for me, reviews are the whipped cream on top of the sundae, both as a reader and an author.) The clash of cultures is fascinating. This is a gorgeously crafted description: Diri thrust the poker into the embers. Sparks sprayed up for a moment and lit his face, the brows pulled together over his deep brown eyes. How long does it take to craft a flute? It depends... I would like some food, though not pomegranate at this time, ha. Wonderful sense of humor. And I'm very glad for Alatar's powers of healing. Bananas! (I think?) The discussion of the images they saw is interesting, though the palantír sounds like more of a hindrance than a help. And they admit to deliberately cultivating a peaceful culture, and are faced with what to do to keep that joyful, life-affirming culture safe in the face of a growing threat. Quite the conundrum. And the disquieting hints seem to have come to fruition! The son is missing...

PSW · 18 February 2025 · Chapter 2: The Stone That Came From the Sea

Hmm, they’ve found a Palantir I presume? Wonder what sort of trouble that will cause…? Very interesting with the dragons! Interesting hat one has to have a clear conscience to ride them.

PSW · 17 February 2025 · Chapter 1: Lanterns

Well yikes - that was an adventure no one expected! A lovely look at their traditions and celebrations, though. Still, I have the feeling that her worries are not so misplaced as all that…

PSW · 16 February 2025 · Chapter 0: Sauron's Hand of Friendship

Well he took that well …. This is an interesting concept and I am looking forward to reading more! Also as amazed to find the Entwives here - love it! We shall see if Alatar’s hopes are well-founded or if Sauron decides not to leave them alone …

Lindelea · 15 February 2025 · Chapter 12: Diri and Nara

I am fascinated by your description of how the Dwarves live when they are at home. I am trying to work out my own vision of such things as I draft the story of a visit to the Lonely Mountain in the Fourth Age. Commotion of the Brain: sounds about right. Poor Jarin. Concussed and unwittingly having eaten flesh. But I sympathize. I would probably be vegan if my body tolerated grains and legumes better. I was vegetarian for a long time when I could still digest dairy. I don't really like the idea of eating animals and try not to think about the subject too deeply. I can see where Jarin might find Dwarves difficult to read. Their culture is quite different from hers, as are (most likely) their idioms, gestures, attitudes, and communication. Their elevator is "magic" to her. (Is her dragon "magic" to them?) Hmmm. And the thought had crossed my mind that the Dwarves could help repair the flute, master metal-workers that they are, but I didn't realize (has it been mentioned in an earlier chapter?) that the riders must make their own flutes. Going on... The king is not sitting on the throne but behind a desk. I wonder... Diri is an interesting character. He appears to be on Jarin's side, though it's difficult to tell. I wonder what this project is he's working on? I like the king though, so far. He seems fairly down-to-earth. We have been waiting for days for one of you having the sense to summon one of us and hear Wan’s news. Interesting. Is it that the dragons cannot come unless summoned, or will not? But you managed to distract me from the threat to the Archseraph, and now I'm even more worried than before. Whew. And I haven't forgotten the odd happenings around the rulers' son. The plot thickens...

Lindelea · 14 February 2025 · Chapter 11: It Gets Worse

A burning library? I could cry. I knew it would be bad from the chapter title, but this? Aargh. A plague on the perpetrator(s)! O no! I was worried about what could happen if she lost the use of her flute! How ever will she call the dragon? But hurrah for rescuing dwarves. And their ravens! Gotta love a gentle pony. I've met a cranky one or two. I'm so sad about the rare books... but what's this? Oh no! Poison! Such a clever multi-purposes chapter title...

Lindelea · 13 February 2025 · Chapter 10: Into the North

(I too am wont to bite into a blueberry tart with gusto.) Ah. I might surmise that "second Sauron" = Saruman. But even Gandalf didn't realize it until he was made a prisoner ... and ... I see I was right! Not sure who “Aiwendil” is. Procrastination is Olórin’s domain? Perhaps I'm part wizard then, not just mostly hobbit. Uh-oh. Will a palantír work near the Unquenchable Light? Or might it have some detrimental effect on the Light? Reading on... Who's Mallor? (I'm starting to feel like the transit supervisor in While You Were Sleeping. "Lucy! They've got doctors for this!") Even without sound, the two are pretty shrewd in working things out. Whew. Glad Jarin didn't get caught. Uh-oh. Either someone/thing is watching over the Archseraph's son, or "the game is afoot" as a famous detective was fond of saying. The storm sounds unnatural, like the one on Caradhras not that long after this point on the timeline. And the dragon disappeared! O no! But the dwarves must be warned!

Lindelea · 13 February 2025 · Chapter 9: Krandi

“Not if I can help it.” Famous last words? Does she have to play her flute to summon Wan? If she loses the flute somehow, is she up the crick without a paddle? But if you follow your head and do what you know to be right, you will not regret it. This piece of advice reminded me of something my hobbits say, at times, when discussing choices to be made: that the right choice is not always the easiest, but it is always the right thing to do. Once again, I really enjoy your descriptions and the details you use to enrich the world you are portraying. Few men, eh? Have the majority marched off to fight for the Dark Lord? Oh no! She's been discovered! (Quite the cliffhanger. Well done.)

Lindelea · 11 February 2025 · Chapter 8: Crossroads

The Seer sounds very seer-ish. The bread shortage sounds worrying. It's a good thing the Archseraph specified one loaf per shopper or people really would panic and make the bread shortage real rather than rumor. Hmm. The man on the bridge is gone but not forgotten or out of the story, I feel sure. I've never had a persimmon. Citrusy, I think? And too often I go to the store for one thing and end up bringing home a bag full of everything but what I came for! So relatable. Alatar's symptoms sound quite concerning. I hope he can resist being turned or misguided. Warden Olan describes the pacifist's dilemma quite clearly. Sounds like Pallando took the most effective action possible. Nevertheless, the Archseraph's worry is understandable. But he is definitely rich in all the ways that matter. I wonder if sending Jarin on this errand is the beginning of her... I'm not sure what to call it. Divergence?

Lindelea · 7 February 2025 · Chapter 7: On the Quack Run

A straight mind like yours finds it hard to understand a crooked one. This is a wonderful turn of phrase. I am wondering if the woman was involved in a rather shady incident involving the son of the Archseraph. A bread shortage sounds worrisome. The dragons serve the Power of Air. Is that similar to Gandalf being a servant of the Secret Fire? Hah. In the middle of all the high talk and interesting history comes this practical detail: “That’s just like him,” said Jarin, “to leave us to do the dishes.” Uh-oh. Good thing he noticed the spy. I wonder how they'll solve the problem?

Lindelea · 3 February 2025 · Chapter 6: The Splendour of Kûz

I found this wry thought quite comical! She wondered whether the old woman only ever learned people’s names once they had children. The vagueness of Seers can be so annoying... Just write it down for me, will you? And make sure none of the important details is left off! (From the north... taken off-course... Hmmm...) Treating Sauron's messenger (emissary?) like a toddler with a tantrum. Interesting. Sounds effective, at least in this moment. "Unless he can fly..." Have the fell beasts entered the picture yet? Hmmm. "eldest son in the care of a fine lady": I have not forgotten the odd incident in a previous chapter. The overheard snippets of conversation by elves and dwarves was amusing and informative. "But what about friend?" (Absolutely lovely. Wonderful way to end the chapter.)

Lindelea · 25 January 2025 · Chapter 5: Glimpses of Darkness

I am further intrigued! The vision of Olórin establishes (maybe?) where we are in the timeline of happenings. I wonder what the more vague vision mentioned might have been... Quite the conundrum. How does a society committed to peace defend itself against attack? (Poor Jarin.) It looks as if the Archseraph has returned in the nick of time!

Anonymous · 24 January 2025 · Chapter 17: Back Home

"Jarin noted with surprise that the streets of Levare were just the same, then she shook her head a little at her foolishness; she hadn’t been away for that long" Isn't it always the same feeling whenever we return home after a while? Thanks for uploading and I'm eagerly waiting to know Jarin's excellent plan. Take care

Lindelea · 22 January 2025 · Chapter 5: Glimpses of Darkness

Oh! I just realised that this story was not deleted off the home page when so many others were! Good! I will look forward to reading this chapter tomorrow. Until then...

Lindelea · 14 January 2025 · Chapter 4: The Sacred Cave

A refreshed dragon that is full of mischief. Lovely thought (for Wan, at least, though probably not for, say, Smaug). Ah, the landscapes you paint with words! It seemed that the Archseraph could discard his splendour like a hat. Very down-to-earth fellow, that Archseraph. By the Sea. Hmm. Sigh. Such a story. But we seem to have arrived at a cliffhanger. I'm looking forward to reading more, but I need to seek my pillow now.

Leithian · 12 January 2025 · Chapter 16: Turnaround

Wow, just wow. This chapter is amazing and I'm so excited with the new developments. Can't wait for more. And thanks for the reply to my last comment. I really love your take on the Southern realms and your world building skills are awesome. Goodnight and take care

Leithian · 3 January 2025 · Chapter 15: In the Dark

Thanks for another great chapter. And I wish you a very happy new Year.

Leithian · 27 December 2024 · Chapter 14: Shifting Perspectives

So grateful that the child is safe. And now we have some information on the poisons as well. Virtuella would you mind giving the translations of names of substances mentioned (yuyuni and dai)? Just asking, won't try it on my own, I promise😄. I have a question that why did Damujil believe in the New Way like not hunting animals etc? I mean that some people find it ethically wrong to hunt and eat animals and that's understandable but I think that hunting is also a kind of war exercise and hunters are good at shooting, stealth, etc. And now we see that Kûz is threatened by a war that it doesn't even want and its citizens aren't trained to defend their homes. So just asking that in his time were there no external threats to Kûz?

Lindelea · 23 December 2024 · Chapter 3: Trouble in Mil Nahara

I feel for the Archseraph. (Hamûjil was not keen on dragon rides, useful though they had been to him at times.) I also prefer land travel. They were both of an age, at the tail end of youth, and if she could endure it then so could he. Thank you for this detail! I had thought her much younger, so I feel as if my mental picture has just come into sharper focus with this description. A dwarf port! I never would have thought of such a thing. And does glowstone work something like radium, absorbing light during the day and releasing it at night (at least, I think that's how radium works)? Here I thought Hamûjil's wife was the sharp one, but he's not so shabby himself. He had an inkling he knew what that meant, and why men were missing from the streets of Krandi, and why the Krâ weren’t selling their grain to Kûz. I think I have a similar inkling at the moment, come to think of it. *gasp* Could the Unquenchable Light somehow be a Silmaril?