Family Matters

Chapter 21. Family Matters

Agate drew Pippin out of the bedroom with her and moved to where Ferdi still waited by the door to the yard. The Thain's special assistant looked keenly into their faces but did not speak. 

When they reached him, Agate took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. 'Well done,' she whispered. 'As you love your cousin, stand absolutely still and make no sound as we bring him out of the bedroom. Let his eyes find you, and let him be the first to speak, even if he should speak to others before he sees you – or, in the worst case, not speak at all.'

Ferdi nodded silently, both hope and apprehension shining in his eyes.

Agate stationed Pippin beside him, and though she offered no further explanation, he thought it best to stay, whether it might be to remind Ferdi of her instructions, or to support Ferdi, or to draw Tolly's eye towards them, or...

But Agate had moved to hearth and now bent to whisper to the north-Tooks there. 'Quiet as mice,' she said. 'He's awakening at last, and we don't want to confuse him.'

Little Lark gulped a sob, and Bolham rocked her gently in his arms. 'Shhh,' he soothed. 'All will be well.' 

But old Gorbyl closed his eyes and turned his head away, and the lads sat with bowed heads.

Agate exchanged glances with her husband and then rose and returned to the bedroom, where she hovered before the door and beckoned. 'Come,' she said.

Hilly stood up from the bed and steadied Tolly as the latter swung his legs to the side and then rose.

But then the found hobbit looked over at his younger brother and said, 'I'm well enough.'

Hilly released Tolly's arm and said, 'O' course.' He stood awkwardly, as if he did not know what to do with his hands. Haldi quietly moved to the younger brother's side to offer his silent support.

'Come, lad,' Agate said from the doorway, looking directly at Tolly but notably not addressing her patient by either of the names he might answer to.

Tolly moved forward in response but paused in the doorway as Agate moved aside. Walking slowly behind him, Haldi and Hilly stopped when he did. 

Brow wrinkled, the newly-found Took surveyed the room as if not seeing the other hobbits therein at first. At last, he turned to meet Agate's calm gaze. 'I remember...?' he said.

She smiled and nodded.

Her patient looked around the room again, his eyes stopping on the little group of north-Tooks on the floor before the hearth. 

Pippin opened his mouth as Tolly moved towards the green-gatherer's family, but at Agate's stern look, he shut it again.

Tolly crouched down by Gorbyl. 'Old hobbit,' he said quietly.

'My dear lad,' Gorbyl whispered, but then he groaned and turned his face away. 'No...' he moaned. 'Not my lad... Forgive me, lad, if ye can find it in yer heart. Forgive...'

The children stared at the Tookish archer, tears rolling down their cheeks. Tolly reached out to touch the face of each in turn, first Lark, then Flam and finally Gorbi. 'All's well, my loves,' he said.

But Lark sobbed aloud. Shaking her head sadly, she whimpered, 'They said you're not my da.'

Tolly scooped the child from Bolham's lap, stood erect, and hugged her tightly to his chest. 'O course I'm your da,' he asserted firmly. 'And you are my songbird, and you always will be!'

Pippin's heart sank; had they lost Tolly to Wallas in this moment?

But then the found hobbit, still holding little Lark close, lifted his face from her curly head and slowly surveyed the room. He nodded at Pippin in apparent recognition, though his eyes passed over Ferdi as if he did not see his closest cousin, and he turned his back as if sensing danger of some sort.

'Hilly,' he said when his eyes fell upon his younger brother.

'I am here,' Hildibold acknowledged.

'Haldi,' Tolly said.

'O' course,' his fellow escort answered.

Tolly's eyes moved to the healer and stopped, and he tilted his head slightly in enquiry.

'Agate,' the healer said, 'though I'd be happy for you to call me Aggie.'

'Aggie,' Tolly echoed. He looked down at Lark in his arms and patted her back gently. 'My little Lark,' he said. 'I'll not forget you! I could not... for your name is written on my heart.'

'Da...' the little lass sobbed, the word muffled against Tolly's shoulder as he turned back towards the door to the yard.

Though Ferdi stood like a stone, Pippin moved restlessly, drawing Tolly's attention. 'I...' the latter said, but then he blanched and swayed.

Agate was quickly beside him. 'All is well, even as you told the childer,' she asserted, steadying him.

'Even as I...' he murmured. 'But... I...'

'But no!' the healer insisted. 'Your loved ones bear you no blame... no condemnation for losing yourself for a time. No indeed! ...but they are overjoyed, Tolly, to see you here... and alive!'

Impulsively, Pippin spoke. 'You were injured and ill,' he said. 'How could we blame you for that? We...' He swallowed hard and spoke for himself. 'I am so very glad to see you... to have the chance to speak with you once more, here and now, when we'd thought you forever lost to us, and we'd never see you again this side of the Feast!'

Tolly blinked at him. Perhaps the young Thain hadn't done irreparable harm in speaking out of turn. He hoped not, anyhow. 

'No blame...' the found hobbit said.

'No blame...' Ferdi echoed, as if the words were drawn from him not of his own volition.

For the first time, Tolly looked squarely at his closest cousin. 'Ferdi?' he whispered.

'I'm here,' Ferdibrand said, just as Hilly had a few moments ago, raising his hands and holding them out to Tolly but letting his cousin choose whether to respond or maintain the distance between them.

'Ferdi, I...' Tolly said, but then he crossed the room to his close cousin, and Ferdi enveloped Tolly, along with little Lark, in a fervent hug.

For his part, Tolly shifted Lark so that he held her with one arm and pulled his other arm free to return the hug.

'Welcome!' Ferdi gulped. 'Ah but it is so good to see you, Tolly!' Somehow he had the wit not to mention their separation by saying such things as Welcome back or so good to see you again, and Pippin saw Agate, who had tensed, relax subtly.

Then Tolly stepped back from the hug, scrutinised his old friend, and said, 'But what're ye doing here, ye daft coney? Ye cannot leave your fair Nell!'

Ferdi glanced uncertainly at Agate. At her nod, he stammered, 'M-my Nell?'

'Well you only married the lass just after the Tournament, and Yuletide is barely begun...'

'You know when you are,' Pippin said in sudden realisation.

Tolly looked from Ferdi to Pippin and back again. 'I cannot imagine what you must have been thinking...' he said, and then corrected himself, speaking lightly. 'But no, I can, actually. You must've thought me dead, to be gone all this time, and all the while I was thinking I was Wallas, and doing my best to recover his memories... which were never mine in the first place.'

Agate stepped in, saying as if in warning, 'But all the memories you've built up while living here as Wallas are yours to keep, as you lived them...'

Pippin wondered at her caution, but Tolly nodded reassurance. 'O aye,' he said. 'I know now what is mine and what was Wallas's, what others told me about him but I never lived myself.'

Seeing the healer's satisfied nod, the young Thain forced himself to relax again. 

But then Bolham spoke, his words sounding as measured and careful as his wife's. 'Do you have a family at home?' he asked quietly. 'A wife... and childer?'

'I...' Tolly said, suddenly sobering. 'There's...' he faltered. His face contorted as if he strained to grasp at something precious to him that, nonetheless, remained just beyond reach.

'A raven-haired lass with stormy eyes,' Gorbyl whispered, and his breath hitched in a sob.

'So I dreamed...' Tolly said, wonder in his tone. 'She was in my dreams! What must she be thinking? My raven-haired lass...'

'She thinks you're not dead,' Pippin said without thinking.

Tolly stood straighter in surprise, but he only said, 'Well she'd ha' the right of it, then. As she usually does...' The words seemed to come out of him unbidden, and his eyes widened in amazement. 'How do I remember that but not her?' he whispered, stricken.

And was that a rueful look? For as his cousins knew, the hobbit gave his wife her head in nearly every matter and seldom reined her in when she took the bit between her teeth. And yet, a quiet word from him, when he chose to speak, would calm Tolly's beloved as quickly as Ferdi could gentle a plunging pony.

But Tolly's face revealed his increasing distress; with one of his hands, he groped the air before him as if he might physically capture an elusive memory, and he cried out, 'Why do I not know her name? I... I... I know only that her name is not Dove!'

Young Gorbi and Flam were aghast, but Lark looked up into Tolly's face and said, 'No!' She threw her arms around him and hugged him desperately. 'You're MY da!' she insisted, and more tears spilled from her eyes and began to run down her face. 'He's my DA,' she maintained, but then she sobbed. 'Isn't he – isn't he my da?'

Tolly held Lark more tightly and nestled her head under his chin, and he said firmly, belying the tears on his own cheeks, 'O' course I'm your da! And you're my little songbird...'

From where he lay by the hearth, old Gorbyl groaned and tried to sit up. Bolham, startled, reached to stay him. 'Steady, old friend!' he said. 'We're going to move you to your bed and put plenty of bedwarmers in and heap the blankets high, and Aggie will sit here with you for a day or two, until you're feeling better...'

'No!' the old hobbit cried, in almost the same tone as Lark had used a moment ago. 'No, but... take her! Take them all!' he said, turning his head to stare at Tolly. 'You've been their da, more'n my Wallas, gone these ten years now... They need you...'

Tolly, startled, said, 'They need their granda just as much!'

But old Gorbyl whispered, 'Nae. My time is short... Why, I see...' Incredibly, his face brightened, and he reached out to touch something in front of him that none of the others could see. 'Gorbas! And Dove... and... Wallas? Are you really here? Why, you look so much like him who we thought was Wallas... ye might be taken for brothers, at that!'

And suddenly, Agate was kneeling by the old hobbit's side, and she'd taken hold of Gorbyl's outstretched hand. 'Gorbyl!' she protested.

'But they're here, Aggie!' he said, and pulling his hand free, he pointed. 'See! They've come for me! They've come to take me to the Feast! My loves! ...but where's my darling Opal? Did she not come wit' ye?'

'Grandfa, no!' young Gorbi gasped, throwing himself on his grandfather and holding him tight. Flam suddenly understood and took hold of Gorbyl's arm, begging, 'Please don't leave us, Grandfa! Please!' And Lark pushed against Tolly, fighting to get down. As soon as her feet touched the floor, she raced to join her brothers. 'Granda!' she cried.

Tolly was close behind her, and he knelt at Gorbyl's other side. 'Old hobbit...' he whispered. 

But Gorbyl was now wearing a puzzled expression. 'She's not come...?' he said to the empty air. 'And you've not come...'

'They've not come, of a certainty,' Ferdi muttered to Pippin. 'At least, I don't see them!'

'Hush!' Pippin answered, almost in a whisper. For it seemed to him that he could see a stirring in the air where Gorbyl was staring, and when he closed his eyes, he could have sworn he saw ghostly faces, and one of them bore a striking resemblance to Tolibold.

And Bolham north-Took apparently possessed some of the fey Tookishness of his Southern relations, as well, for he was staring at the same spot that was drawing Gorbyl's and Pippin's attention. 'They never left you,' he murmured. Then louder, looking towards Gorbyl with astonishment on his face, he said, 'When they breathed their last, they did not go on to the Feast but stayed to watch o'er you all these years!'

'You've not come to bring me to the Feast?' Gorbyl said to the apparently empty corner, perplexed. But then his face cleared, and he turned his head towards Tolly. 'O I see,' he said, and then to the empty corner he added, 'It's as you told The Red... You've been watching o'er us all this time! Watching o'er the childer! Watching o'er Wallas – him we thought was Wallas, I mean.'

He nodded as if listening. 

Agate tightened her hold on his hand, despairing. In her time as a healer, she'd attended many deathbeds, and such one-way conversations were depressingly familiar to her. Dying hobbits often saw and spoke to loved ones in their last minutes. Their eyes would brighten, pain and fear would diminish and their faces would shine with joy. After a few more breaths, the light would leave their eyes, though the look of joy remained.

Bolham, knowing her grief, knelt beside his wife and slipped his arm around her shoulders. His own face was filled with wonder, and he whispered to her, 'All is well, Aggie.' 

Then Gorbyl looked directly at Agate and said, gently, 'I'm not dying!'

'O' course you're not, old friend,' Agate said. 'Please stay.'

A look of intense concentration bloomed on Bolham's face; he seemed to be listening closely. Suddenly, he said, 'Yes, I understood rightly; they did not go to the Feast but stayed to watch over you, old friend, and the childer. But now, they say... you have a protector?'

Gorbyl smiled at Agate and then looked back at Tolly. 'They say,' he murmured, 'they tell me you're an honourable hobbit – I might have told 'em that! – with the heart of a guardian. They've watched you, and know you'll protect the childer, watch o'er them, love them and care for them, gi' them what they need to grow, e'en after my time has come...'

Bolham added, 'They say... they've no need to stay any longer... and we'll see them at the Feast when our own time comes...'

Agate stared at the corner now in puzzlement, but she clearly saw and heard nothing out of the ordinary, not even a stirring of the air as Pippin would describe to her later that evening. 'Wallas?' she whispered – but she was not addressing Tolly.

The healer wrenched her gaze from the seemingly empty corner and looked at Gorbyl, and then Bolham, who calmly met her stunned gaze.

And then, to Tolly, Agate said softly, 'But ye had the right of it, lad, what you told me earlier... when I sent you to sleep, and we talked...'

Pippin wondered at that.

But the healer was still speaking. 'Wallas was here when you were injured, and he helped you, just as you told me, all unawares in your waking mind; he guided you through the Wood, and he led the childer to you, and he helped Gorbyl and the childer sustain you until you grew strong enough to reclaim yourself.'

'Aye,' Bolham murmured. 'And he is here, even now, hoping to see you become whole once more!'

Gorbyl's face was bright with amazement, and he spoke again, 'They are all here, Gorbas and Wallas and Dove! But they say it's not my time yet! Imagine that!'

'Grandfa!' Lark sobbed.

The old hobbit reached out a gentle hand to wipe her tears away. 'All's well, little bird. They'll be going on to the Feast, your mum and da and uncle. But I shall bide a while – a good long while, they tell me – with you, lassie. I'll not be leaving you this day...' He looked back towards the corner and raised a hand in farewell.

Silence filled the room until Gorbyl lowered his hand again and sighed. Though peace filled his face, his eyes were bright and alive.

Tolly took Gorbyl's hand. 'I must go back to the South-lands,' he whispered, and paused for a long moment. 'Will you come with us to the Green Hill country?' he said then. 'You've been a da to me, as much as I've become the little ones' da...' He swallowed hard and said formally, 'Would you consider coming with us to the Tookland?' After a deep breath, he added, 'I know it's a great deal to ask.'

It might be a great deal to ask of Meadowsweet, Pippin thought to himself. But they'd obviously have to bake that bread once it had risen. Quite possibly, Sweetie would be so overjoyed at having Tolly restored to her, she wouldn't baulk at him bringing three children and a grandfa along with him.

'I'll have to tell the bees, I will,' Gorbyl said, his voice seeming to grow stronger as he spoke. And then, looking at the old hobbit more closely, Pippin saw that a flush of colour had replaced the old hobbit's grey pallor, signalling not fever but returning life and strength. Then the old hobbit pulled himself up to a sitting position using his grip on Tolly's and Agate's hands for leverage.

'Gorbyl!' 'Grandfa!' 'Old friend!' many voices said together.

'I'm well!' the old hobbit protested. 'Better! I... I thought...' he gulped and looked to Tolly. 'I thought we'd lose ye when I realised ye were not our Wallas.' He nodded soberly. 'It was wrong to keep pretending ye were... but what reason would you have to stay if we did not keep pretending?' He shook his head. '...which would mean deceiving you to try and keep you with us! ...such a wicked thing to do, 'twould have been...'

The three children sat up slowly, cautiously. Nevertheless, they held fast to Gorbyl's blankets as if to tether the old hobbit to the earth while looking from Gorbyl to Tolly with tragic faces.

Tolly whispered comfort which calmed the children somewhat – their lips no longer trembled, and tears no longer welled in their eyes, though their expressions remained solemn.

'Guilt was devouring you,' Agate said gently, 'and fear squeezed your heart; you couldn't sleep, and you could hardly breathe...'

'How d'ye know that?' Gorbyl said.

'It might ha' somethin' t' do with my wife bein' a healer,' Bolham said.

'O aye,' Gorbyl nodded. And then he began to push away the blankets enfolding him and said, 'What's all this? Bedded down on the hearth...'

'We couldn't get you warm,' Tolly said, holding out a restraining hand.

'Well I'm plenty warm now,' the old hobbit maintained. 'And I know just the thing that would do the most good for all of us now!'

'What's that, old hobbit?' Tolly asked, changing his actions from restraining to helping the old hobbit sit up, along with Agate and Bolham doing the same from Gorbyl's other side.

'A nice pot of tea for everyone!'

Tolly's brother and the three children spoke in the same breath, 'But Tolly cannot abide the stuff!' 'But Da doesn't like tea!' 

After the pause that followed, Tolly laughed. And then he said, 'That I don't!' He reached out his arms and gathered all three children to him together in a great hug, kissed each forehead, and said, '...but you can help me by drinking up my portion so that I don't have to!'

As everyone was laughing at this last thought, Hilly put the capper on by crossing the room, dropping to his knees, putting one arm around Tolly and the other around the children, and saying to Gorbyl, 'Welcome to the family!'

*** 

Though heartened by Tolly's apparent awakening, Pippin found Agate's continuing watchfulness disconcerting. Nonetheless, over tea, he said to the children, 'I must ask your permission...'

All three were wide-eyed at this, for even though they had lived their entire lives in the faraway North Farthing, they knew the Thain was the master of the Shire-moot and captain of the Shire-muster and Hobbitry-at-arms. Even more astonishing, this mild-spoken hobbit, alone among all of the Shire-folk, held the authority of the returned King! 

Somehow young Gorbi mustered the presence of mind to speak. 'Permission for what, Sir?' he asked.

'I must return to the South-lands on the morrow,' Pippin said, using the more familiar term for these children than "the Tookland" would have been. 'Would you kindly allow me to take your da with me? All the Tooks visiting in Bolton will be leaving tomorrow morning as well, though they'll take a longer road than the one I must ride.' He looked from one face to another, adding, 'You and your grandfa are welcome to travel with them...'

'Can we not travel with you, Da?' Lark said plaintively, seizing Tolly's hand.

'I would go to prepare a place for you, my little songbird,' Tolly said. 'And...' he added, but his gaze went from the little lass to the Thain and back again to the three children as he spoke. 'And,' he said, 'I would ask my own boon of you, my children.'

'Yes, Da?' the three said together.

'I would ask that you'd give our new home a chance,' he said. 'A fair chance, that is. For it would be natural to be homesick for our lovely home here in the Wood, and so the promise I am about to make, I dare not make lightly.'

'Promise?' Lark said, clinging to her da's hand.

'I promise,' Tolly said, 'that if the Tookland does not suit,' and he steadily met the Thain's gaze as he finished, 'I shall resign my oath, and we will return here to the Wood to live.'

Lark released Tolly's hand and clapped her hands, but her brothers surveyed the adults in the room and saw that every one of them wore a solemn expression.

'What oath?' Gorbi asked. Somehow, he felt this detail was of critical importance.

He saw his da take a deep breath before answering. 'When I became a hobbit of the Thain's escort,' Tolly said, 'I swore on my life to defend the Thain and his family with my life, and only the Thain or death can release me from my oath.'

'And would you release him?' Flam said to Pippin curiously. Belatedly remembering that he was talking to the Thain, he added, 'Sir?'

'If he were to ask me to do so, I would release him, without penalty or shame,' Pippin answered. 

'Does that mean we'll never see our home again?' Lark asked with a tragic expression.

'Nae, lass,' Tolly said, taking her upon his lap. 'For our home will be wherever we are when we're all together. And...' he said, encompassing all three children in his look, 'and there are such things as holidays! We could come back to the Wood to visit our little house and our friends here and spend a week or more every so often! Would that suit?'

All three children cheered, which Gorbi followed by placing his hand over his heart and saying, 'I promise, Da, we'll give the Tookland a fair chance.' He looked at his younger brother and sister. 'Won't we?'

Both nodded, Lark perhaps a little more reluctantly, but it was a nod, nonetheless.

Bolham drained his mug of tea and placed it on the table. 'But the day is passing,' he said. 'The band will soon be gathering at the farm, and neither the host nor hostess is on the spot!' Looking to Gorbyl, he added, 'Old friend, you're looking much better... but are you well enough to join us this night?'

Gorbyl sat up straighter. 'Never better!' he said stoutly.

'Are you well enough to ride upon Wren's back, or shall we hitch the pony to the cart?' Bolham persisted.

'I am well!' Gorbyl said. 'I feel light as a feather, now that the truth is out in the open, and I no longer feel like a thief or betrayer!'

At Tolly's puzzled look, the old hobbit explained, 'A thief, because by my silence, I would have stolen your life and your self from you, lad, and a betrayer for much the same reason.'

Tolly shook his head. 'You saved my life, old hobbit,' he said, 'and I might even go so far as to say you gave my life back to me!'

Tears shone in Gorbyl's eyes as he took hold of Tolly's hands. 'Bless you, lad,' he said fervently.

Tolly looked around the circle of faces. 'I am indeed blessed,' he said, and there was a lightness in his voice that his Tookish brother and cousins had not heard since the escort had been trapped in the landslip whilst riding through the Green Hill country with Mistress Eglantine.

'Indeed,' Pippin said, and both Hilly and Ferdi smiled their agreement, while Haldi gave a firm nod. But Healer Agate caught Pippin's eye with a warning look. This is not over.

'Very well,' Bolham said, interrupting the young Thain's thoughts. 'Let us saddle Wren, and bundle the childer warmly, and we'll all ride to the farm. And if I may be so free, Gorbyl and Wall– er, I mean Tolibold, I will send some tenants to look after the land and animals until you've had time to consider your choices.' 

Whether you choose to stay in the Tookland, or you choose to remove to the Wood, he did not say aloud, but all the adults understood him.

Bolham looked to Pippin, received a nod, and then asked Haldi to ride to the farm "at best speed" with a message "for Tom and his lovely Salsify" to set out as soon as they might for the herb-gatherer's holding, to care for the animals over the next few days until longer-term arrangements might be made. To his credit, the escort barely hesitated before leaving the cot, mounting his pony and clicking his tongue to send the beast into a canter. Of course, he'd seen the exchange between The Red and the Thain, making it unnecessary for him to seek Pippin's confirmation of Bolham's order. Nonetheless, Bolham and Pippin exchanged a satisfied glance at this sign of growing respect and understanding between the Tooks and the north-Tooks.

Tolly said suddenly, 'Gorbyl, you and the childer ought to pack some things before we leave if you are to be travelling with the Tooks in the morning!'

'And I'll wash up the teapot and mugs while you're taking care of that business!' Bolham announced.

Agate helped Lark fill a pillowcase with what the child would need for the journey, including the small, well-loved doll she'd made for the lass when Lark had been a tiny faunt, and a change of clothes for the doll into the bargain. 'We'll look out a proper travelling bag for your lassie when we get to the farm,' she promised. 

Meanwhile, the lads' da helped them fill their own pillowcases. Gorbyl strapped up a few necessities of his own in the time-worn pack he'd used to carry most of his worldly belongings during his time in Bindbole Wood with Bolham's raiders.

When all the "baggage" was ready, and all stood before the door, Bolham addressed the little Wood-family. 'Take all the time you need to store up pictures in your hearts,' he said, looking from Gorbyl to each of the childer and then to the hobbit they'd taken in and adopted as their own. 'For you childer have promised to give the Tookland "a good chance". Thus, we may not see you again until Springtide spreads her skirts of green across the meadows, whether you come for the first of many visits, or return here to stay.'

Tolly took little Lark's hand and allowed her to lead him to the chicken run, where they scattered feed to lure the hens into the coop and shut them safely away since they'd be at Bolham's farm when evening came. Next, they talked to the goats in the byre. 'Uncle Red promises that Sally and Tom will be here by milking time,' Tolly reminded the little lass, 'and that they'll take good care of our fur-and-feather family,' for he'd naturally adopted Gorbyl's name for the creatures that enriched the hobbit family's life in the Wood with their freely given milk and eggs. 

The lads slowly walked all around the clearing, also spending time with the goats and chickens to take their leave. Gorbyl stood between the two hives for a quarter hour or so, bringing the bees up to date on happenings.

At last, Gorbyl's family joined those waiting with the ponies at the centre of the clearing. The old hobbit hugged his grands, standing in a huddle, and met Bolham's gaze. 'We're ready,' he said courageously. The nearby town of Bolton, or perhaps Bolham and Agate's farm, was the farthest he'd ever travelled from the Wood in his life. The journey ahead felt to him as daunting as if he'd taken it into his head to jump over the Moon.

'All will be well, my friend,' The Red promised. 

Old Gorbyl nodded, subtly reassured. During the Troubles, he'd come to know and trust Bolham's odd gift of foresight which had saved The Red and his band of rebels numerous times during that precarious year in the Wood. He could only hope that Bolham's assurances arose from foretelling.

***