Reviews (249)

FantastFan · 23 October 2003 · Chapter 47: Fighting the Darkness

Oh my, Freddy's words as Frodo sleeps really caught me off guard (like a big stick right between the eyes). Frodo isn't the only one who speaks a phrase out of turn. “May your dreams be all of peace”, he says, imagining the darkness overtaking Frodo for good. My heart is still pounding and tears are running down my cheeks at the picture in that one sentence. You shouldn't do that to me! (I'm just going to sit here and breathe for a few minutes. In. Out.) Better now. So Freddy is summoned to see Lobelia now. I'm at a bit of a loss to think of what else she needs to say. She dies this spring; does she need to see that Freddy lives to make her peace before she goes? Her words to Frodo helped him understand what Saruman did, perhaps she can help Freddy break the spell for good. Or perhaps Freddy needs to say "Thank you." I'm looking forward to seeing her again - she's an interesting mix of wisdom and cantankerousness. And for a bonus, we could also see Alyssum again! There's a whirlwind of activity in the last half of the chapter. Frodo is barely recovered when the summons comes from Long Cleeve, Sam is back and off again, and then the waggon is arriving from Crickhollow. Maybe you can get it all in with just a few chapters left to go! The Cotton's and Gamgee's grief over Merry's impending death seems quite genuine, despite the short months they've had to get to know him. I was pleased to see the hobbits of the neighborhood remember Frodo's years of kindness with housewarming furnishings. It didn't surprise me when it was for the Gaffer, but I wondered if the hobbits of Bagshot Row would think Frodo too far above them to contribute their homemade curtains and jars of preserves, and sing the waggon into the yard. I'm glad they did. We've been waiting a long time with Rose for Sam to speak. Seems like the time has finally come. I love envisioning the Cottons tiptoeing around so as to not 'throw Sam off.' Don't keep a hobbit waiting? After all the time Sam has kept Rosie waiting? Do we get to be a fly on the porch? I hope so - I want to know what finally made it the right time. It had to be more than just having Mr. Frodo's things back in Bag End, and I'd love to see Sam trying to explain. And that's the picture I'm going to firmly fix in my mind tonight, to drive out the first picture. (Oh, and my daugter Raven says, "EEEEeeeeeek! How could she stop there!")

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 46: While Samwise was Away

Frodo's illness seems to take him by surprise. He's had warning last October that anniversaries are dangerous, but he thinks he can relax his vigilance now that he's in the Shire. Does that attitude gives the darkness more effect? Does he not put it all together until he receives the summons from the north-Tooks of Merry's illness? Imagine how different things might have been, had Merry been called to attend his cousin! (I liked the description of Merry worrying about worrying. It's apt.) It's good that Freddy has mended enough to sit by Frodo, and hold his hand, and remind him of fresh bread and clear skies. Though it seems he doesn't remember it the next day, I bet it has effect. Will March 25th be difficult as well? (Tolkien never says it is as bad as the other anniversaries, but I can't imagine Frodo remembering it with pleasure.) So there's not much left to the story, but it goes all the way to the Havens? Though at times it's been Lobelia's story, and mostly Freddy's, will the focus shift to Frodo as you get closer to the end? That's a year and six months more, and there has to be the re-occupation of Bag End, a wedding, two visits to Buckland, and Frodo finishing his writing. That's a lot to fit into a few more chapters. Even if the focus remains on Freddy, its still a lot of time to cover.

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 45: The Wizard's Curse

I totally forgot to comment about Frodo's daydreams of a wife and children. You are continuing that theme, and I like it. Slowly the hope for a future is returning, and Frodo can let himself imagine a long life. But it's March, and bad times are coming. I suppose it's the shock of his illness that burns the hope out of him. I'm looking forward to reading your inerpretation.

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 45: The Wizard's Curse

A visit of a whole week with Lobelia! Even I have trouble thinking of what they could have talked about for that long! And, it seems that it was too long of a visit, for Freddy's concerns. It's kind of satisfying to think nobody is as good as Frodo in taking care of Freddy and helping him through the dark times. He comes back and takes over, figuring what's best for Stella as well as Freddy. Especially after deliberately inviting the darkness in recalling the Wizard's curse to concious mind, it's good that Arwen's jewel has bright magic to counter the dark. It seems to me that Frodo puts a bit of his own strength into the mix also, as the jewel brightens when he hold it with Freddy, as it does not do when Lobelia held it alone, or when Frodo fingers it for support. Watching the effect on Freddy of holding the jewel for just a moment makes me wonder just how much of its power is sustaining Frodo, who wears it all the time, and how little of him is really left.

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 44: Tea with Mistress Lobelia

This is a very satisfying chapter. First, you introduce a lovely character. I hope we might see more of Alyssum, since she's a north-Took. For just a couple of paragraphs, until she explains she's married to a Bracegirdle, I thought you might even introduce a comely lass for Frodo to flirt with. What a tease! Lobelia is as ever. Her bad temper and cantakerous ways are so fun, as is watching Frodo deal with them politely. But the conversation quickly turns to serious matters. I thought Frodo would go to Lobelia's to help her, as he has been helping Freddy and Merry and Pippin. Instead, it seems Lobelia draws him out, and learns more from the bit of the story he tells her than is in the words alone. It's heartwrenching to hear the shattering loss, barely contained under the surface (and a little creepy). He's not ready to deal with telling this part of the story yet. Not only that, he's spent most of the gold he has, and doesn't know where more will come from to help the rest of the hobbits. Despite everything that he's been through, he's still thinking of others. She's sharp in her questions, and doesn't miss a thing. Perhaps because she was not made a special pet, or because she had more exposure to Saruman from behind the scenes, she retains a clearer view than most of the wizard's methods, though she is affected by them nonetheless. It's good that Arwen's jewel is multi-faceted (I made a pun!) and can drive the darkness away no matter its source. It does feel like a celebration as pain is acknowledged, and the past forgiven. The last part of the conversation is everything I would have wanted to see. Lobelia has always had sharp insights, even though colored by bitterness and greed. It seems the Lockholes have burned away all that, and now she's turned her examination onto her own character. Frodo acts the part of the confessor, listening, offering comfort and absolution in the face of Lobelia's genuine repentance. In the end, in recognition of shared pain, they understand each other, much as Freddy and Frodo in earlier chapters. Very satisfying.

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 43: Return to Bywater

OK, Merry explains why he and Pippin are immune to the spell. The more I think about it, the better it sets with me. I am just not used to thinking about magic in these stories, but when I do ponder it, and re-read the appropriate sections, LOTR is really chock-full of fantastic things. I guess that especially the Shire, which is so stolid and homey, is the last place I expect magic. I am getting used to it. I am intrigued and pleased to see Lobelia come back into the story. I really want to see the end of her transformation, and watch her come to regret for her part in making Lotho what he became. Frodo going to see her is wonderful, because the wisdom and mercy at the core of his personality could help her if necessary. It is amusing that Frodo makes the quip to Freddy about marriage. Could it be that the earlier conversation about Estella has moved him to think of his own future? He was quite content as a bachelor, it seems, but many things are different now, and a long heavy burden removed. The previous conversation was a shock, but maybe he's getting used to different ideas too. It's bittersweet to consider. But Frodo's comment about marrying into the Sackville-Baggins family made me snort. You keep thinking up such witty lines!

FantasyFan · 22 October 2003 · Chapter 42: Stuffed to the Gills

This chapter totally blew me away. A spell? And Frodo is affected too? But..but..but..Saruman has lost his powers, hasn't he? And Frodo wasn't there, at the Lcokholes. And neither were Freddy's parents. How could a spell affect them? Is the hole spelled? Would Saruman have travelled that far to put a spell on the hole, or could he do it from a distance? And Frodo! He's too wise to be affected by a spell of Saruman! Isn't he? Well, maybe he isn't. He's weakened too, after all. And Saruman did try to curse him, and he laughed it off, but the curse does come true, in a way. And Gandalf does say Saruman's voice is left to him. And as much as I think of Middle Earth as our own earth, just in another time, the Wizards do actually seem to have some magic powers - Gandalf creates magic fire, and holds doors closed, and Elven-rings have some unnatural powers, as does Bombadil. Maybe a spell is not as far afield as I might have thought. Creating a spell of starvation that takes effect when Freddy gets home is perfectly in character for Sharkey. And the only ones in the Shire safe from it are Merry and Pippin. On re-reading the chapter, I'm slowly getting used to the idea. You've certainly set up quite clearly that the effects on Freddy are due to Saruman's voice. I have no problem accepting that. But having it extend to the rest, in a clearly magic way, in defiance of the evidence of their own eyes, that requires I look at things in from a new angle. Robin seems to react differently than the rest in the previous chapter. I wonder how he is doing it?

Anonymous · 21 October 2003 · Chapter 44: Tea with Mistress Lobelia

Oooh, so much update, so little time!!! The last, resonating effects of Saruman's Voice are horribly fascinating. Firmly convinced you've been eating multi-course meals while literally starving yourself to death?! I am in awe. That one sent me for a loop. The wizard's voice is so often overlooked, but you've used it to create some chilling, devilishly clever plot twists! *shivers in delight* Before I go ( how I wish I could stay and "talk your ears down to nubs"!)I have to say that Lobelia's toast, "to whatever", was priceless! Malva Brandybuck P.S. Sadly, the only place you can find my writing right now is in one very messy loose-leaf binder! But once my dratted schedule allows me to finish and post, I will most likely put it on this very site.

Hai · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 99999: Background Information / Story Progress/update 11/13

What a disappointment for Estella, to find her brother is wasting away again! I hope everything will turn out well! The Cotton's have a house full again so it seems. I think you should leave 38 and 39 a little background info never hurt anyone! I didn't know this was a rough draft! I guess that is why I haven't seen it on ff.net. Looking forward to more, thank you!

FantasyFan · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 41: Home is Where the Hobbit Is

This is not looking too good for Freddy. He's not been able to eat since he stepped over that threshold. No, he didn't drop dead on the spot, but then Saruman said that a lingering death from starvation would be much more appropriate. If doing exercises with his hand turns out to be painful, getting the splints off right now will probably be more of a setback than progress. Frodo seems to have disappeared. Did he go with Sam already? That seems a little strange - I would have thought he'd be watching more closely. Robin seems to have caught something, but he's not in the position to do much for Freddy, and has his own troubles to worry about. If Frodo's gone, and soon to go through a hard period of his own, it looks to be up to Stella to find a way to break the spell. I am glad Stel and Rose and Marigold got a chance to have a proper goodbye. Much better to have a loving and heartfelt hug than a strained leavetaking. It goes well with the lovely hobbit custom of singing away the coach.

FantasyFan · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 40: Thoughts of Home

I just noticed a strange thing in the formatting of this story on Stories of Arda. Your quote marks for the dialog are curved single quotes. They curve correctly at the beginnings and ends of sentences for the most part, but when a quote opens a paragraph, it is curved like a 'close quote' rather than the 'open quote'. I am assuming when you upload it from a word processor it is not converting the quote marks properly. I have no idea if you can do anything about it or not. And since it took me 40 chapters to even notice it, you may not have to. The roles have reversed themselves, and Freddy has become Frodo's minder. I wonder if he sits with him when the nightmares come. He seems to have a clear idea of what is needed, but nobody could be as diligent as Sam. And though Freddy and Frodo understand each other, they still dance around the troubles. You can see the Took in Freddy - he's almost as good as deflecting attention with a clever comment as Ferdi on his good days. I guess we will see soon how strong Freddy is. I'm glad too that Frodo is going to be there when Freddy finally returns home. He certainly does have a way of gathering information, doesn't he? I loved Frodo choking on his tea, suddenly thinking of his midge of a cousin in a different way. Freddy guesses Frodo, Frodo guesses Merry, but nobody guesses Pippin. Guess he's another cousin they don't think of as grown up enough yet. How old exactly do you have Stella in this story? In the books, I think she's 5 years younger than Merry, so come of age already, but I think you've mistakenly made her younger than Pippin?

FantasyFan · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 39: Of People and Places

Well, I suppose this chapter is your answer for me. Rose and Estella are young yet, and when they grow up they'll realize more that staying each in their own places is better for them. The great hobbits take the duty and the responsibility and the common hobbits are happy to serve and it all works. I've read your note following this chapter, as I suggest that you may want to leave these thoughts in the story, in some form or another, for people like me who keep getting stuck on these points (depending, of course, how much Estella features in coming events).

FantasyFan · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 38: Fond Farewell

This is the fruit of your ruminations on the resistant-to-change and generally-comfortable social structure of the Shire? I suppose it's somewhat artificial to have charcters talking explicitly about something that would be so subtle and understood in the culture itself, but then exceptional times and all that... Estella discusses what she knows of her family's arrangements for her marriage, and Rose and Mari are not envious of her any more. But you certainly haven't written anyone comfortable with the situation. Estella mourns the loss of her friends, the lost of her freedom and the loss of a future she might have dreamed of. Rose may not have thought twice about Estella's station had she not gotten to know her as Tilly or Twig, but it's not making her happy now to serve Estella a tray or be dismissed from her pain. It was telling how Tilly described herself as 'going away', but it wasn't a physical leaving she was talking about.

FantasyFan · 20 October 2003 · Chapter 37: Standing Back-to-Back

Freddy seems to be making an astonishing recovery. He's made the jump, in a week, from needing the protection of deceptions such as Estella's kerchiefs to the point of recognizing and being able to talk about them. He talks of home without a shudder, and his focus has shifted from milestones of his own recovery to concerns about Estella's place in society. He and Frodo again seem to have an understanding. He guesses Frodo's nightmares, and Frodo acknowledges Freddy's courage in remaining at Crickhallow. Indeed Freddy seems to have decided he is going to will himself to be normal. I wonder how possible that is - are you setting us up with false comfort? Stella and Frodo are a bit wary, but are they wary enough? You know, I feel sorry for Frodo here. He's concerned about everyone else, but when he goes to sleep at night, there's no one there to hold his hand. How sad.

Ann Onymous · 19 October 2003 · Chapter 99999: Background Information / Story Progress/update 11/13

I think it would be a shame to take out chapters 38 and 39. If I was reading a story and the one of the main characters suddenly drastically change his/her attitude, I'd like to know why. I think that these chapters tell us why, and allow us to see Estella change without thinking less of her. I also think that you explained the way society in the Shire works very nicely, which is something many people probably don't understand. I think that many people who read this story and might gain a better understanding of this through these two chapters. It is something some of us understand right away, and something that needs to be explained to others. Anyway, I am liking this story. It is very well written for a draft! Keep up the good work, but don't let it get two long by adding on problem after problem. Sometimes you do this with your stories, and then I get bored. When you've wrapped up all the problems that have come about during the story, end it, don't make up something new to keep it going.

eiluj · 19 October 2003 · Chapter 99999: Background Information / Story Progress/update 11/13

I think I'm advising you to keep 38 and 39. Yes, 38 grated a bit -- but I'm reading it as an American, and of this era. I loved 39 (no grating there). My background is that of an omnivorous reader of children's fiction, one who was never afraid to tackle other cultures and other time periods. And an Anglophile. I've read a lot of history -- pretty much minored in it in college. As a teen and an adult, I read a lot of historical fiction before turning almost exclusively to mystery, fantasy, and scifi (though I read historical mysteries, and fantasy is mostly other time periods). And I'm 52. So I'm far from being the average fanfic reader. On the other hand, I spose few "average" fanfic readers would find their way to your stories; most would be reading -- well, let's not be depressing about what most fanfic consists of. But even if we're speaking of fanfic readers who love and appreciate canon-faithful stories and characters staying in character: the average fanfic reader does *not* have the understanding of the historical period on which Tolkien based the Shire. [Social classes? Women's role? Servants?] So 38 and 39 may fill a very needed role for most of your readers, because those chapters explain a bit about hobbit social stratification, including aspects that most readers won't pick up otherwise. It's already familiar to you, so you may not realize how necessary the explanation is for some readers? I have to apologize for not reviewing this story before [not that I've ever been consistent about who I review or when!]. I've been reading it mostly at work at lunch, and I don't seem to write reviews then -- something about eating and typing at the same time, I guess! I like your version of this part of the story (even if the Lockholes stuff gets a bit dark). And I like your Frodo (this is high praise). You are also to be congratulated for finding an entirely *new* part of the story to tell (Freddy's activities both pre- and post-Scouring), which I haven't seen any other writer do yet.

Anonymous · 17 October 2003 · Chapter 36: Sweeping Troubles Out

More Hobbity goodness! You had me in giggles the previous chapter over Freddy's "deep, dark secret" and his insistant, business-like offers to beta (if they would have used such a word) Frodo's book!! New Year's as you have it here sounds like such a pleasant, quiet holiday. It also looks full of little things that you've collected from other cultures and folk groups. Did you? I'm curious as to which ones! I might also say that together they blended nicley into something unique to the Shire. Tolkien has left us with a fairly generous space for our imaginations to play in on this topic. But for me, half the fun is researching, mixing, matching, and modifying real traditions of various peoples (and time periods), since the great Master did so much of that creating this epic. *colors guiltily* I'm afraid my little monologue has inspired several half-finished manuscripts to crawl out of my desk and begin gnawing on my ankles... Malva Brandybuck

FantasyFan · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 36: Sweeping Troubles Out

So Frodo is off to the Smials. I wonder, does he realize that the Cotton's are trying to keep him as fed and strengthened as they do Freddy? Frodo doesn't show many outward signs of his time of darkness, except he's probably still thinner than the Cottons remember him from his days before the quest, yet I'm sure Sam has warned them that Frodo had as bad a time in the Black Land as Freddy had in the lockholes. 'Feeding him up' is something Mother Cotton can take to heart. The other half of the prescrption is 'keeping him busy.' I'm reminded of when Frodo gifts Sam at the Havens with all he has or would have, he says something like, "your hands and your wits will be needed everywhere." That's an apt description of what Frodo's life is like now. He's been taking care of Freddy, and in agreement with Merry he's off to take care of Pippin, but it seems Merry might need some taking care of too. At least, that's what I assume is the urgent message from the Master of Buckland. Merry's not been there much since coming back to the Shire, since while driving out the rest of the ruffians he seems to have been based in the Tookland with Pip. The old trouble won't return in force until March, so it's got to be something else. We know he doesn't sleep, and when he does there are nightmares: are the Brandybucks now seeing and trying to deal with this, or has something more acute happened? I know from experience that long term sleep-deprivation can make you literally crazy, and I wouldn't wish that on Merry. I hope the long delay, from the lame pony and the detour to the Smials, won't make a serious matter worse. Last little comment. I like Tillie fixing Rose's and Marigold's hair like the grand ladies. If enough people conspire, maybe they can budge the rock. Interesting though, that Sam's first reaction is to see Rose as not good enough for him, and that he fights it.

Miriel · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 36: Sweeping Troubles Out

I'm so glad to see taht Freddy is improving! Estella's such a smart lass. It must be hard for her to sacrifice these things such as hair and clothes, even if it is to help her brother. Shame on Sam for thinking that Rose would look good with Merry! I wonder what is so "urgent?" Brilliant story-please update soon!

Hai · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 35: Seeing the Old Year Out

I'm sorry Frodo isn't so sure he should write this book, though obviously we know he does. This is coming along wonderfully! It was really sweet reading about Estella cutting her hair and Frodo making sure she knows she did the right things, a very nice cousin moment! Merry certainly got called down by Frodo! I hope Sam doesn't take it too far to heart and wait too much longer! Looking forward to more, thank you!!

FantasyFan · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 34: The End of the Chase

So ends the courtship of Rose. You know, I re-read the first few chapters of Jewels the other day, and I'm not sure what you've written here fits real smoothly with what's in the earlier (later? tenses get so difficult) story. Merry mentions wooing Rose one more time, after his illness. Does his close call scare Sam into not wasting any more time? Jewels doesn't give details, which I suppose is good right now, but I'm wondering how it will all fit together. It was good to see Freddy at the wedding in that story, I'd forgotten he was there. I've got very mixed feelings about what Freddy said to Merry. Especially after a tongue-lashing from Frodo, Freddy's "not with my sister" effectively drives Merry right out of the door. Had he not said that, would Merry's teasing have given a relationship an early chance to develop, hard as it might have been for Stella to smile and tease back? But then, had things not happened the way they did, how different would have been key events that shaped Pippin's character? By the way, did Freddy react the way he did because he knew of his parent's arrangement with the Thain? Or because it would be much more believable for Merry to be actually courting a lass from a gentle-born family than the daughter of a farmer, and so what might only be teasing would not be viewed as such by others, and generate an unwelcome sort of gossip? Hearing that Stella has feelings for Merry really changes the interior dynamic of some of the later chapters of Jewels. Her motivation for suggesting a foursome picnic, for example, is sublty different, and her entire rejection of the planned marriage becomes much cleverer. Not in a cold and calculating way, of course, as through Merry's entire romance with Ruby (actually, right until he speaks to her) there's never a hint of impropriety on her part. Indeed, Merry hasn't even noticed she's grown up. Oh, it also makes the line "That's Estella Bolger?!?" funnier, when you think of Merry remembering Estella as 'Twig' with wild cropped hair, and 'Tillie' in her homespun and kerchief.

FantasyFan · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 35: Seeing the Old Year Out

Sorry these reveiws are going to be out of order for the last few chapters. I'm doing this one because it's fresh. So, Frodo's got himself a pair of beta readers, to check his spelling and grammar and tell him what he's left out. Somehow that's funny. He's just as reluctant as most authors to hand over his pages, too. Poor Frodo, no word processing program to help him revise. He's going to have to copy it all over again, once his Betas are done with it. Good exercise to strengthen his hand, though. It's fun to participate in Tolkien's conceit and read the quotes from the early part of the story as Frodo's memories, including a few that didn't make it into the manuscript. Stories within stories! Freddy and Frodo are in a different place, by themselves, when they talk about the stain of darkness - they understand each other. For Freddy to conciously realize what is happening to him is the first step in fighting it. And I like the idea of Freddy and Estella telling Frodo what he should leave out. Merry isn't exactly a normal hobbit anymore to know what is and isn't too horrifying for the Shire-bound to read. I'm glad Frodo is going to Tookland for Yule. I think Pippin needs some help now. And does Frodo guess Stell's feelings for Merry?

Anso · 16 October 2003 · Chapter 34: The End of the Chase

Thank you for yet a wonderful story! Please make Merry take himself off o bed soon, or he will be no good to either Buckland or his cousins and friends, and just make himself sick. Thank goodness that Frodo took him to task. I feel so sorry for Sam, stubborn as he is. Merry really ought to know better. I also like the comforting, caring Frodo. It is nice to see an after-quest story with that side of him in the spotlight.

Ann Onymous · 15 October 2003 · Chapter 18: Of Gossip and Gardeners

I like this story! I often like your stories, although sometimes they get overly long and drawn out. Also, I want you to write the story of Bilbo and the bedtime stories! That would make a very amusing tale!

Miriel · 15 October 2003 · Chapter 34: The End of the Chase

Thank goodness that Frodo finally told Merry to stop torturing poor Sam! I know they compared him to Pippin, but honestly, I can't see Pippin ever going that far...Poor Rose! Poor Estella, as well. I felt like cheering when Freddy told Merry not to tease his sister. Thank you for that! I haven'y read "Jewels" for a while, but I thought that Merry saw Estella for the first time in years right before he found out that she was engaged to Pippin. Am I mistaken, or is a revision in order. (If not, that's fine too. I just love that way that this one is going so far!) Wonderful. I wish that all my drafts turned out this well. :) Cheers!