fliewatuet
· 17 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
Sorry, I am quite late with my review, but that does not mean that I didn't enjoy the last chapter thoroughly (hope I got the double negations right here *grin*).
Rolly still remains an enigma to me (though an (almost) dead one as it seems). His admiration for Aragorn, for his stubbornness and sense of honour, seems genuine. Rolly and Aragorn are like two sides of the same coin. And as Aragorn is willing to give his own life to protect his secrets (and those he deems in need/deserving his protection), so is Rolly. He cannot betray the one who has sent him, and deep loyality binds him to that secret being in the background (though I have my suspicions as to his identity). Furthermore, Gandalf's remarks at Rolly's looks and Rolly's reaction to those words made me think (always a dangerous thing, mind you!) what else is hidden behind the facade Rolly maintains.
Halbarad, Gandalf and Tillfield are a lovely team, as always. Gandalf remains unpredictable, Halbarad somewhat gruff, and Tillfield eager to help, even if he has no clear idea what lies ahead.
And poor Aragorn still has to figure out what is real and what not. His assessment of Halbarad being real was priceless, as was his astonishment at a Hobbit wielding an elven dagger. Though I am not quite sure how much information he revealed to Rolly under the influence of that drug. But since Rolly no longer seems to pose a threat ... (then again, who else could have learned what Rolly managed to pry out of Aragorn in the time between the boy's interrogation and Halbarad's arrival - I am getting paranoid again, I know, but one thing that I love about your story is that it leaves ample room for speculation).
fliewatuet
Author's reply
Gosh, there's no such thing as a late review. Somebody can come in with one next March 15, I'll be just as thrilled!
I'm afraid that Rolly (who, yes, is dead) will remain a bit of an enigma, but you saw exactly what I'd hoped you would see. Rolly's master, regrettably, needs to remain anonymous, at least to our heroes, and Rolly's own original identity was ultimately unknown even to himself. I used his physical resemblance to a Dunadan simply to strengthen the parallels between him and Aragorn, and also, probably, to poke fun at the concept of a eugenics-based moral barometer. He could have originally been a Dunadan child, or a Breelander, or even a Dunlending. Beats me. He reacted strongly to Gandalf's suggestion that he looked like a Dunadan simply because he'd been conditioned to reject any association between himself and the world of Men. Wow, that was a mouthful!
Glad you enjoyed the humor in that chapter - it had such a dark tone that it was hard to fit it in, but I thought it needed it. And wow, you caught my hidden ambiguity, too - we'll never know if Rolly ultimately broke Aragorn or not. Perhaps that was the truth he ultimately died to protect?? I leave it an open question.
I hate to see this end, I have really enjoyed writing it and also engaging in these exchanges. May I hope that you get back to work on your story so I can sit back and enjoy reading about my favorite Dunadan?
Port
· 16 November 2003
· Chapter 5: Spies in Bree
This was the funniest interrogation scene I've ever read. Not that I've read so many, but it was damn funny.
I'm enjoying the wonderful detail (gosh-darnit, the weather was awful, the Prancing Pony was comfortable and Strider was really wasted), and the excellent characterization of both original and Tolkien's people. Plus, the plot's keeping me on my toes, which is really refreshing. The one weak point may be the mysterious villain; I kept getting reminded of your basic evil super villain from comic books and cartoons. Maybe it's his mystery--there's no special detail (mannerism, trait, habit, flaw, etc.) that stands out to make him an individual, so he sort of melts into the stereotype.
Other than that, though, I'm really enjoying this. It's good storytelling. The subplot with Halbarad is one of my favorite parts. You've added so many layers to all the characters just through the conflict between him and Strider. I look forward to reading the rest. Thanks for sharing it!
Author's reply
Hi, Port,
As I'm sitting here beating my head against the keyboard trying to fit the pieces of chapter 12 together, I can't tell you what a cool surprise it was to get a review for chapter 5! After a while I started to feel like a stand-up comic - the only performance that matters is the one that starts in five minutes. It's really great to know that you found the story, and so kind of you to review.
I know what you mean about the villain in chapters 1 and 2. I struggled with how to keep him mysterious (there's a reason for that) without making the lack of detail off-putting. I really appreciate the constructive feedback, and if you're enjoying the story otherwise, I'm overjoyed. Halbarad seems to be everyone's favorite character (including mine). He's like Aragorn without all the hangups...
meckinock
Does that mean that Rolly is dead? Surely you cannot kill him off?
Sorry if this review is not as good as my others but its because of all the revision which I have to do for my exams this week, unfortunatly. I'm feeling rather brainless at the moment.
Author's reply
Good luck on your exams. I spend an awful lot of my existence feeling brainless, so I can definitely sympathize.
Yup, he's deader'n a doornail. Had to; otherwise he would have told Gandalf stuff we can't have Gandalf knowing yet. Canon and all that, ya know...
grumpy
· 16 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
wow what a chapter. Not only is Strider rescued, Tillfield also gets to use his knife and kills a wolf. Plus Rolly finally does the right thing. I am almost speachless on how good this and every other chapter of this story has been.
Gandalf was great with his staff of power, and kind words later on, also like how he let Halbarad go first since he was so used to tunnels.
I loved the reunion between Halbarad and Aragorn, claiming he was there to get his horse back.
As for Aragorn, can i please have him, even if he is dented up a bit. Damn i bet if he was that set about not telling about the ring, I would have a very hard time making him forget about Arwen, any of those little vails left over?
anyways so looking forward to the next chapters.
Author's reply
Gandalf's no fool; he's not gonna go first into an orc cave! Halbarad was actually planning to give Aragorn a lot of grief about the condition he found the horse in while he was at it; good thing Aragorn wisely passed out. I do have a few of those vials left over if you want to take a shot at it; but I strongly suspect our poor love-sick Ranger would hand over the Ring WAY before he'd give up the Elf-chick.
Should be just one more chapter to go - have to finish so I can sit back with my EE DVD, dontcha know...
The Karenator
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
Strider knew that smell. It reeked worse than the backstreets of Bree after New Year's Eve and half of all the guzzled ale was back on the street again. Essence of orc. Festering goblin number 5. Whatever you called the stink, it was rank enough to burn his nose hairs like short wicks. If the smell wasn't bad enough to double clutch his belly, the sudden dawning of where he had ended up was enough to give him worse heartburn than that tasty little mystery dish Arwen had cooked up before he left Imladris. From the dwarven decor, there was no doubt in the ranger's mind that he had just drop off the merry-go-round into the House Of Horrors, the one that was dug deeper into the ground than a telephone pole in hurricane country. While he was trying to get a fix on the whys and wheres, the Rollly kid was innocently humming along like he was taking a guided tour through Cinderella's Castle. It was with no small satisfaction that Strider got in his last 'told you so' when gray groons showed up and gave him the dignitary welcome. Even though Strider was about as coherent as a jilted bride, he knew things were sliding so far out of control that it would take a NASA recovery team headed by Bruce Willis to salvage this operation. The last thing the ranger heard was the kid offering to provide two entrées and an appetizer to the olid oafs on the welcoming committee.
It didn't take long before Johnny Halbarad, PI, had scoped out his friend's trail. His gut twisted up tighter than Elrond's braids when he saw that Strider was just along for the ride. Strider wasn't the kind of guy that let someone else drive his ride. With his eyes plastered to the tell-tale signs, the gumshoe knew his friend had passed this way wearing a light overcoat of muddy leather, a moldy Reese Cup was in his right pocket along with seven cents and an empty pack of Juicy Fruit in his left. One sock had slid down his friend's left leg and was bunched in his boot and his underwear was giving him one hell of a wedgy. Halbarad was on the right scent! He knew this area as well as he knew the freckles on the inside of his wife's elbow. Not sparing time to draw a road map for his two hapless helpers, he herded them off to an salt mine so old that even Gandalf looked like a spring chicken next to it.
Deciding that the half pint would be about as much help as a forty pound bag of sand, Halbarad decided to leave the kitchen whelp behind to watch the parking lot. The kid got the 'deer caught in the headlights' look at being left to fend for himself, but there was nothing that was going to change the gumshoe's mind...except maybe tears, but Gandalf patched everything up with a fuzzy blanket, a Three Musketeer bar and a lethal look that made Halbarad think that there might something to those rumors about the kindly old gent afterall.
The inside of the cave was as dark as a monkey's armpit as Halbarad took the lead. It seemed the wizard had suddenly opted to stay at his rear, bringing to mind another rumor Halbarad hoped was just mini-mart gossip. Gandalf switched on his staff like the spotlight on a squad car while Halbarad scanned passageways so narrow they looked like the let-out seams of his Aunt Gussie's dresses. Then there was the smell, a stifling mixture of rotten eggs, barnyard and some folks just begging for a stick of Right Guard. Just as he figured things would go down, a mangy band of misguided former elves charged out like the Light Brigade on dope. Gandalf turned up the wattage again, but the gumshoe was ready this time when Olorin the Science Guy flashed everything in a ten mile radius with enough amps to form a mushroom cloud.
Faster than a roach in sunshine, Halbarad tossed his scrambled buddy over his shoulder while Gandalf cut a bee-line after Captain Kid. Backtracking out of the cave, Halbarad juggled a limp body, his torch, and his weapon as easily as a housewife taking charge of kindergardeners on a sugar high.
Gandalf bagged the kid and dropped him like the night deposit on the ground where he found the gumshoe, the ranger and the hole vole were whittling away the time. Knowing that Strider was fading faster than cheap haircolor, they scooped up the debris of a trip gone bad and waltzed off down the trail.
Things were finally looking like a tidy end to a bizzare suspense novella, when the hounds from hell dropped back in for a repeat performance of Fangs. Even though the gumshoe was as worn out as Bobby McGee's bandana, he Ginsued his way through the furry flea bags like a Japanese chef on speed.
The ranger was not so far gone that he didn't catch the drift of something going down and wobbled up onto his elbow for a look-see. He was a resourceful sort and with the mere branch of a mere tree, he took a pot shot at one of the moth-eaten mutts, but Strider was weaker than a cocktail at Butterbur's and just ticked off the seedy slobbering sleaze-hound that he had yanked the pooch's dinner. To his complete surprise, a Shire short shirt wielding a knife nicer than anything he'd ever owned, stuck the beast like it was an olive in a martini. But it was too late for the Rolly kid. He had nothing left but a few lines of 'Boy For Sale' and a thief's code of honor that worked best when backed up with the promise of brand new cement shoes. Strider wasn't a man beyond 'Reviewing The Situation' and felt his heart tugged up to his gizzard. He felt for the kid and hummed a few bars of 'That's Your Funeral' in memory of a stellar performance by a brillant understudy. Then he took a nap.
What can I say? This chapter was too good. You even had 'me' feeling sorry for Rolly. Will we find out all the story behind him or will we have to draw our own conclusions? His code of honor and Aragorn's might have been a bit different...well..like the difference between right and wrong, but the kid hung in there with his idea of making Aragorn proud. I have to admit, it was sad.
There was a lot of good action. I loved it when Halbarad told Aragorn that he had come for his horse. I just LOVE Halbarad. (Have I said that before?) He's such a man's man. Despite his overwhelming worry for Aragorn and his duty to find him, he was quite good with Tillfield. Gandalf can be such an old softy,too. Between the two of them, they took care of the innocent mite.
Well...I'm relieved that Aragorn is safe and on the way back to Bree, but all the loose ends haven't been tied up quite yet. I'm looking forward to getting the rest of the story....Very, very good, meckinock. This story has been so good that I find I hate to see it end...which I know is just around the corner. I hope you'll write more. It's been such a pleasure....:>) Karen
BTW...Daisy the horse! Well, I tell you what...Daisy, the toddler springer pup, is on my hit list. Just today, she's chewed up my favorite bookmark, a basket made of leaves, pulled the cat's bowl off repeatedly and chowed down my son's retainer. Wanna trade Daisys?
Author's reply
Karen, my alter ego, my nemesis, my partner in crime - you endless font of string-of-consciousness random associations - I think that when this story is over I'm going to miss you worse than Halbarad!
Hmm, maybe I'll have to get back to you on that...
First, the parody: So many gems, as usual - "tighter than Elrond's braids", "seven cents and an empty pack of Juicy Fruit", "let-out seams of Aunt Gussie's dresses", "weaker than a cocktail at Butterbur's"...I love every line of it!
Special thanks for letting me borrow your puppy's name (without permission). Thankfully, Halbarad's Daisy is MUCH better behaved than yours. When I realized I needed a horse name in a hurry I was so glad you had told me your bad-puppy stories. Even though (in my ignorance of his superior wisdom) I never really understood why Professor T. found it necessary to name EVERY SINGLE HORSE in ME, (or maybe because of that fact - obviously these Rangers take their horse names SERIOUSLY), I was starting to think it was maybe odd that Halbarad's mare had been trotting along for 11 chapters without a name. Also I was getting tired of coming up with different ways to say "the chestnut mare". But then I drew a blank on Ranger horse names and went straight for slapstick, as usual.
Plus I kind of liked the idea of making Aragorn ride a horse named "Daisy".
Anyway, glad you felt sorry for Rolly, that was my intention. WE know the difference between right and wrong, but the poor kid really didn't. Blind loyalty was as close as he could come, and though he was developing some loyalty to Aragorn, his master's grip on him was too tight.
Unfortunately, as far as Gandalf and company are concerned, there will be some loose ends that have to stay loose for another nine years or so. That's just how the chips fall. Hopefully I've left the readers, who of course have the benefit of hindsight, with enough clues to piece it together (Hm, someone who's insanely suspicious and jealous of Gandalf and has spies all over the place - who could that be....?)
And thank you for reminding me why I never want another puppy. Although I'm sure she's adorable...
Nilmandra
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
This was an incredibly powerful chapter! Rolly was so intent on his goal that he was willing to die for it....and somehow it was as if he died with honor and dignity, if that makes sense. Code of ethics among criminals?
I love Halbarad. The sense of humor is wonderful. I also like Tillfield's strength (very hobbity) when he fought the wolf, and the way Gandalf, who seldom used his powers, used them against what he perceived accurately to be another of similar strength.
The wolves are explained now too. In this chapter and one earlier, I was surprised to see wolves attacking humans without being starving or backed into a corner. That they were under evil wizard control makes sense now.
And poor, poor Aragorn. Now that I am back, I volunteer to come and care for him personally. If he can't have Ada Elrond and his brothers, I am at least better than some inn in Bree.
Author's reply
Thanks, Nilmandra,
As always I think there's more insight in your review than in the actual chapter!
Hm, Rolly first. Honor among thieves? Well, I imagined Rolly as thinking of himself not as a criminal but as a soldier in a cause, and nothing is stronger than loyalty to a cause except loyalty to an individual. Enter Saruman, possibly the strongest and most manipulative personality in ME, who had been molding this kid since childhood. Even through Aragorn was able to whittle away at some of the brainwashing and make Rolly question some of the garbage he'd been fed, in the end there was still this unshakable loyalty to a person who had been the center of his belief system, and really his whole world, up to that point. If he betrays Saruman, what does he have left? Hard nut to crack.
I was really glad to give poor Tillfield the opportunity to vindicate himself, since everyone has been treating him like a useless appendage for oh, 9 chapters or so. You noticed how I danced around what it was Gandalf actually DID to Rolly? I also probably don't want to look too closely at the actual mechanism by which Rolly was able to control the wolves...
Come on over to see Aragorn, he'll be in the Prancing Pony, room 7. I'm sure he'll be extremely happy to see you once he realizes what the Bree UrgentCare Clinic consists of...
Kathira
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
This story is extremely well written, with a well-thought-out plot and excellent characterizations. Gandalf in particular can be hard to get right, and you are doing a great job with him. Aragorn is spot on and Halbarad is wonderful as well, very real. You are really to be congratulated. I encourage you to continue writing - you have real talent. On a personal note - it may be sick, but I just love Aragorn angst and torture and you write it very, very well! Do you have other stories published online? I would love to read anything you have written.
Author's reply
Hi, Kathira,
It makes me feel unworthy to hear such generous comments, but they are truly appreciated. Gandalf kind of scared me, but the way I got around him was to wait until he told me he had something to say, but not to push him. I think Tillfield's presence also helped soften the focus.
It's very kind of you to ask if I have any other stories out there, but I am sorry to admit that you have seen my entire body of work.
Author Reply: Hi, Kathira,
This may seem like a strange way to find you, but it was recently brought to my attention that you (or someone with your exact name) nominated this story for the MEFAs and I wanted to thank you!
meckinock
Envinyatar
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
The annoying little box on ff.net says that well-founded criticism is helpful. Unfortunately, I can't find anything to criticise in this story. Great pacing, humour, thoroughly believable characters and, above all, a gripping story, This is very, very well done. I can't even complain about you not updating frequently enough.
Seriously, I'm enjoying this as much as any fan fiction I've ever read. I started reading fan fiction because frequent re-reading of LOTR always left me wanting more of the same, if you know what I mean. A very few ff stories satisfied that craving. This is one of them.
Aha, I have found the fault in this story. It seems to me that it is rapidly approaching the end - and I don't want it to finish! I seriously hope that you have more stories to come. In the meantime. my sincere appreciation for this one.
Author's reply
Oh, come on, I'm sure you can think of something!
Thanks so much for the extraordinarily generous comments. I look to fan fiction to satisfy that craving, also, and it's a thrill to hear you say that my story satisfied yours - I'm still too close it right now to tell if it's gonna satisfy MINE! Yes, the story is approaching its end, but I will be setting up the premise for a sequel. I'm gonna need a bit of a breather, first, though.
websterans
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
An excellent resolution to a tragic character
Author's reply
Thank you very much
Caroline
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
Oh, wow, my word, I'm not quite sure what to say. It is half past midnight and I decided to have one last check t see if anaythn ghad been updated and how glad I am that I did. This has to be the best chapter yet. All our favourite fellows reunited once more. I found it so difficult to hate Rolly, even though he was the 'bad guy', you kept calling him a boy and so I wanted him to be good in a small way, and at the end I wanted to cry but I am not sure whether that is because, perhaps, there could have been a chance for him, or because I feel so sorry for Aragorn. Even half dead as he is he still tried to save the life of someone who tormented hum for so long, and you just know that he is going to feel guilty about not being able to. You know I don't know how you come up with this but the amount of emotrion you manage to et into these chapters is astounding.
But we still got a bt of humour too, in regards to 'Daisy' and Halbarad#s comments to Aragrn in regards to retrieving her 'you're real'
Wonderfull....now I really am going to bed.
Author's reply
Thanks, Caroline,
I'm so sorry you lost sleep for this but I'm glad at least you enjoyed it. I'm glad you found it difficult to hate Rolly; that was pretty much my intent. Gosh, I don't know how I feel about making you want to cry- would this be a good time to throw a couple more one-liners around?
Hope you slept well and your dreams were of Aragorn and not orcs!
daw the minstrel
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
I loved Aragorn's impulse to say "I told you so" when the Orcs showed up. And Halbarad's question to Gandalf: "Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I have to say that I see these moments as very realistic. I think many people joke under pressure. It's a way of relieving tension.
And as I read along, I've very worried about Tillfield. Where are the Orcs who are supposed to be watching for them? Is Tillfield going to be their dinner?
"There goes the neighborhood" "several more orcs who, it was unfortunately apparent, retained full possession of not only their faculties but also their weapons" I feel like I should sing a chorus of "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things."
But oh what an ending. Not funny at all. Did Rolly summon the wolves? It seemed that way. He wanted to die and he arranged to do it.
Author's reply
Hi, daw,
Hm, the orcs never quite made it outside before Gandalf and Halbarad showed up? Tillfield would have been, what, an appetizer?
I agree that stress is a great humor engine. I personally can't even come up a straight line for the realization that you are going in to an orc cave on a hostage rescue with just one other person. "We're so totally screwed??"
Eledhwen
· 15 November 2003
· Chapter 11: Rolly's Decision
More! More! This is brilliant - so exciting. Just brilliant.
Author's reply
Thanks, Eledhwen, you are too kind. Only one more chapter to go...
Caroline
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
You know I was really hoping that Rolly might judt turn out to be a good boy...but what the hey....Another fabulously engaging chapter. I really liked the twist at the end, I must aadmit that I though the vile would just knock Aragorn out and allow Rolly to drag him off somewheere so I think the idea of mking him all confused and forgetfull is excellent!
And poor Aragorn, I loved the flashback sequence as well. Some of my favourite characters in fan fic are the sons of Elrond and wha little we have seen of them here I think is wonderful. Hopefully we can expect more? Please? And thankyou for stickying a little of Halbarad at the end I was beginning to despair.
"Of course I can track them" Perfect!
Author's reply
Hi, Caroline!
You're not the first person I've had to apologize to for giving Halbarad so little to do in this chapter. You know, when I started to post, he had even less "screen time", but he was so favorably received that I've actually been trying to expand his role as I go along.
Rolly just got in with a bad crowd, poor kid. I think I might have originally planned on doing exactly as you described (dragging Aragorn off), but the only problem with Rolly dragging Aragorn anywhere is that the kid is pretty shrimpy and I don't think he could physically handle a 170-180 pound adult. That may have actually been why I had to come up with option B in the first place, I can't remember!
I'm really glad you enjoyed the flashback sequence. Since I've been alluding to that event since Chapter 1, I thought it might be effective to re-live it with Aragorn, through his eyes, just as he experienced it.
I have to disappoint you - no more E/E in this story - it will have to wait for the (saints preserve me) sequel!
meckinock
Nilmandra
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
Wow! So much good stuff in this chapter again! I read it last night, but was suffering from jet lag and had to reread it this morning so that I could fully appreciate it.
Aragorn is good - he gets the post free and clobbers Teburic. And then Rolly kills him! Hard to believe this mere boy is who control Teburic! Aragorn knows Rolly is not to be entirely trusted, but holds out for redemtpion. What is this stuff that Rolly drugged him with? Some sort of concoction to make him confused, a little short term memory loss? A little like Versed?
Fortunately, Halbarad and Gandalf are close and not easily led off track. They have to catch Rolly, and while I am all for giving him every last chance to be redeemed, it cannot be at the cost of Aragorn's life.
Interesting to see what happened in the cave. Aragorn has guilt too, over Baranir's death. And he didn't listen to his brothers, the best orc hunters ever. Poor Aragorn.
May I hope that you will give him some time, soon, in Elrond's care to recover from all this?
Author's reply
Hi, Nilmandra,
Right, I caught somewhere that you were in... Denver? Hope you had a good trip.
Teburic knew what side his bread was buttered on, even if it was a pipsqueak holding the butterknife - also I figure the boy learned psychological manipulation from the best...and he never really saw another option for himself before he met Aragorn. Aragorn wanted so much for the kid to see that humanity had a good side.
Yeah, short-term memory loss, enhanced suggestibility, something like that!
Don't worry, Halbarad doesn't give an orc's behind about the kid's redemption!
LOL about ignoring the twins' wisdom re orc hunting at your own peril! I don't know what Aragorn was thinking!
Regarding your last suggestion, that one's going to be a hard sell...
The Karenator
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
Drat it all! I knew I misspelled Babs name! I even looked it up and I guess the search engine just returns all the web sites that have it misspelled! I hate it when I stumble in the morning after and find that I spell worse than a novice witch that skips class to watch reruns of Charmed. Even at 1:30 in the morning I knew it didn't look right...Drat! Drat! Drat! We won't even go into the other typos and mistakes.....now where are those twins?.....I need a hug sandwich.....:>( Karen
Author's reply
That's all right; I misspelled "Scotchgard" in my reply. If you're willing to stay up until 1:30 AM crafting these masterpieces I'm not going to quibble over a few typos - I was in bed by 10:00! The twins say they need their hair braided...
Author Reply: With you posting at 1:30 AM and me posting at 5:00 AM it's a wonder we're even writing in full sentences...
fliewatuet
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
There's nothing like a good cup of tea and another chapter of 'In the Hands of the Enemy' first thing in the morning.
I was relieved when Aragorn finally managed to yank that dratted post free and even fell Teburic with its help. But, alas, it is as I feared, Rolly stands on the wrong side. But I quite like him though. He must feel a deep love for his master that lets him endure what is necessary to set the trap, like receiving a convincing beating from Teburic. And it is an elaborate trap, indeed. Cudos to you for devising it!
I was puzzled at first when Aragorn woke again, and I briefly thought that Rolly's betrayal might have been just the result of a somewhat paranoid and fevered dream of Aragorn. But Halbarad and Gandalf finding those shards of glass ...
And before I forget: Thanks for revealing the details of the Ranger's attempt to rid that cave of the Orcs. Aragorn must have been somewhat desperate to reach them given the way he drove his men onward, ignoring even his brothers' warnings. BTW I loved your description both of the cave (narrow, slimy, dark - reminded me why I would never venture into one unless forced to do so) and the way the Rangers fought.
I had so hoped that Aragorn might escape this time, for I think it is about time that he were given the opportunity to curl up in a nice comfortable bed with a hot cup of soup and have his injuries treated (breaking his sword-hand was a mean thing to do!). But I fear that he is still further away from safety than ever (which makes for a more interesting story *grin*).
However, keep up the excellent writing,
fliewatuet
Author's reply
Hey, good morning (afternoon?), there is nothing like a cup of tea and your review first thing in the morning (though somehow I suspect our mornings are a little out of synch since the closest thing I have to the Baltic is Lake Michigan).
Thanks for staying with me even though reality is getting a little confusing (especially for Aragorn) -Rolly's role was kind of the jailhouse informant concept taken to extremes...glad you liked the orc cave sequence, although I may be stretching credibility to suggest that Aragorn is so far into the hunt that ELLLADAN, of all people, has to weigh in as the voice of reason!
Don't worry, Aragorn's going to be getting some much-deserved rest soon! I just felt that I had to let him get himself out of the jam he was in, and still leave Halbarad and company something useful to do! I know I was mean to break his sword hand, but I needed a little injury with big implications. Sorry!
I'm still not sure about Rolly - he seems that he wants to help Aragorn but that he's really working for someone else. He's a very complicated character and I am totally surprised at what he is doing.
I was half-expecting Gandalf and Halbarad show up and save them but I suppose there is still more angst and torture for Aragorn still to come.
Great chapter.
Author's reply
Rolly's about 90 percent gone, but you never know! It's never too late to make a right choice and all that Dr. Phil stuff (as Karen would put it). I think Aragorn's all tortured out, but the kid's not finished throwing around those little yellow Mardi Gras beads (oh, my Gosh, I'm stuck in a bad imitation of Karen's review). Gandalf and Halbarad had some transportation issues, as you know, but I think they're back on track now. Thanks!
The Karenator
· 14 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
Aragron Estel Elessar Thorongil Elf-Stone Telcontar, son of Arathorn's monogram looked like a pre-schooler's schizophrenic attempt at the alphabet, so most of his friends just called him Strider...or other monikers he wouldn't want repeated in polite company. But he was no where near little prim pinky tea ladies when Tubby T took the spotlight again. It was plain as Tubby T's ears, side flippers that stuck out like both doors open on a Volkswagon, that Tubby was still driving down the same dirt road with the radio crackling out a tune so over played that Strider was getting an ear worm. A guy with more names than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir didn't need to wait on the Midnight Train to Georgia to see that the only chance he had of giving this beasty boy the slip was to hand him a lie that was such a smooth move that Tubby would have to take a few Car and Driver's to the port a potty and read up on exhaust systems. Just to get the hunk of burning love's heart swivelling to the beat of The King, Strider dangled a few nuggets of carat into the tale. When Bunny Belly hopped off to get a map, the Rolly kid put on his pitiful peasant face and begged the ranger to spill the cookies. But this ranger was not one to go off half baked and told the kid to get back in the oven before the Big Bopper came back and thumped him into a tortilla.
Even though Strider was dizzier than a ditzy dame on How To Marry a Millionaire, he two-tonned the post out of ground as hard as an orc's hide and bowtied Blubber Mountain. Just as he's making new paved roads in Tubby's tale, the kid ups and offs the doughboy with a knife through his jelly belly. Everything drops into place like a roulette ball hitting seven and Strider gets a Kodak moment. The kid is the brains behind this operation! Rolly's too smart to let the ranger get a toehold in 'his' Birkenstock's so he drops a stink bomb that smells worse than Halbarad's feet after riding the borders for six weeks in the summer.
Strider takes another unscheduled trip down nightmare alley to find himself bumping shoulders with cave walls so dark and dank that he thinks he's stumbled into a game of Dungeons and Dragons with a bunch of computer nerds that only wash when the moon is blue. It's one bad scene after another from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as he mixes it up with ping pong ball brained orcs and with no one to back him up but baby rangers that still have Pablum on their chins and elves that repel dirt like Scotchgarded Chippendale dancers. After Strider takes a arrow hit to his knee, he sees the kid ranger get run through with a blade big enough to spit venison. Things couldn't be any worse than if he had brought along a troop of Cub Scouts to rid the world of Dr. Evil. Then he's left to deal with double dose elves that are the hybrid cross of Austin Powers and James Bond. This king-in-waiting gig is starting to wear as thin as Glad Wrap stretched over lava rocks and he figures if Edward can abdicate for a date, he can surely drop kick the crown before he takes a barrel over the falls and sinks like an opera singer at a Led Zeppelin concert.
But Strider doesn't get a chance to give away all the family jewels before he finds himself back in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter is perched at his side with a look of concern that would melt Mother Theresa's heart. He doesn't know any more about how Tubby got turned into a pin cushion than he does about how Madonna gets road cones to stay on her chest, but he does know he feels like he was on the losing end of a fist fight with a Mac truck doing ninety. Suddenly, the kid has gotten a burr under his saddle and is ready to start a chorus of Happy Trails, but the ranger is feeling lower than a snake's hind leg and can't think about riding off into the sunset until his stomach gets off the tilt-a-whirl. Even though his head is mushier than a month old jack-o-lantern, something about the kid doesn't match up any better than pinstripes and polka dots on a church lady. Still, Strider figures that putting some distance between them and the Horror Holiday Inn might give him time to clean out the attic and see if he can find a lightswitch. He can only hope that the power's not been cut.
Johnny Halbarad, PI, is not a man to give up easily and when he finds that his quarry has taken the Last Train To Clarksville and all that's left is a wiff of stink and a corpse blowing up like the Michelin Man, he angles his trained eye on Mr. Spock, hoping the forsenic wiz will be able to star date this ransacked residence of evil. Old Gandalf has a nose for cooking labs and it doesn't take him long to call bingo on the stash of sugars someone's been using to make potion pies. When he can't make head nor tails of the recipes, he gives the nod to Halbarad to get on with the game. Gandalf works just as good on the fly as he does sitting like a rotting log in front of old Quincey reruns.
When the sly science slick pumps Halbarad about his hound dog scenting, the ranger's short hairs on his neck draw up so tight his eyebrows fly up like a window shade with a bad spring. Halbarad could bloodhound the Enterprise through Federation Space with both feet on terra firma, a Milky Way in each hand and a tape of 'Nimoy Sings Striestand' blaring through his headphones.
Gosh, meckinock, this was one of your best chapters and probably the most difficult to Chandlerize. It was rich with such good imagery and story line that I had a hard time doing the detective lingo. It was like Raymond Chandler interpreting the Bible. It felt blasphemous it was so well done and well...serious. There is no other way to say it other than it was just a terrific chapter. Poor Strider....the headache of it all! I don't think I've ever seen him so battered and bruised and now drugged into partial amnesia. I knew that little snip of a Rolly kid was doing a bad Oliver. The little twirp! And Aragorn still has hope the kid will do the right thing...yeah right...and I'm gonna plant marshmallows on the moon! The dream or remembrance of the cave and Baranuir's death was so moving and gives us a glimpse into the guilt that Aragorn feels for the loss of the boy. But the twins looked nice, a gentle breeze fluttering through their hair as they adjusted their perfectly tailored and spotless tunics....Oh! that was me...not what you wrote....sorry. The whole chapter was interesting to read and moved the story forward so that now we can get our heros to resolving this whole mess. I think we still have some surprises about Rolly to come. And hopefully, Aragorn will resolve his feelings about Baranuir's death. You have done a wonderful job of showing us the weight of responsiblity for a leader. Excellent...just excellent! Carry on....:>) Karen
Author's reply
Scotchguarded Chippendale dancers? YOU WISH!!
By the way, glad you liked the Elf tresses, I put them in especially for you.
Blasphemous? Hardly, but if so it was such a delightfully guilty pleasure, wasn't it?
Once again, I'm speechless. "Thin as Glad Wrap stretched over lava rocks?" "Nimoy sings Streisand?" You are a wonder and possibly a national treasure. I would just sit here and shake my head and sputter tea and scare my dog under the bed but look - I have to go to work and be with normal people all day! I am taking this with me, but today could be the day they finally call Employee Assistance on me...if I don't post again by Sat night we'll know who to blame..
grumpy
· 13 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
All this time I have been hoping for Halbarad and Gandalf to rescue Strider, from the mean and nasty Teburic, and he did it all by himself, not only that he was not totally fooled by the kid. ( I will have to go back and read again about the white rock)
Now I will have to go back to hurrying Halbarad and Gandalf into rescuing Strider from some kid who is into flinging, mind altering drugs at him.
I really love this story, so glad you included the part about what happened in the cave with the orcs
So where is the kid dragging him off to now? And who is behind it all? can't wait for more
Author's reply
Oh, you know I had to let him do it himself! It's like watching a little kid try to tie his shoelaces, isn't it?? You want to help him so bad...
Where is the kid dragging him... hm... someplace neither he nor Halbarad is going to want to set foot into!
You actually won't find a ref to the white rock in Chapter 3 because the fact that the kid threw it did not immediately convince Aragorn that he was bad. Aragorn knows the kid is working with a gang of highwaymen, after all, so it probably would have been his job to throw it, and even after the kid saw how the fight ended up and decided to change sides, he might have been simply afraid to own up to it. So it was still an open issue in Aragorn's mind, something he just filed away in his "Rolly" file along with the other little things that didn't really add up. I didn't want to belabor the rock in Chapter 3 because I was afraid readers would think it was a bigger clue for Aragorn than it was (and the readers all figured out the kid threw it anyway).
AM
· 13 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
This just keeps getting better and better. Love your writing, some wonderful phrases. Constantly checking for updates ...
Author's reply
Thanks, your comments are very generous and very welcome! I am still hoping to get Chapter 11 up on Saturday.
daw the minstrel
· 13 November 2003
· Chapter 10: Revelation Retracted
Halbarad is still my favorite (of course he can track them!), but the Aragorn scenes were also fascinating. The death of the 15 year old ranger was horrible. I can see why Aragorn blamed himself even though no one else would blame him. I liked Elladan and Elrohir and the understated family angst you are exploring with Aragorn. Nice, delicate touch there. Rolly is very tricky. I cannot imagine what will become of him.
Author's reply
Sorry, Daw, Halbarad kind of got squeezed out of this chapter! How about I'll make you a trade - an Eilian bathing scene for Halbarad in your choice of situations!
I was enjoying E/E very much, too. Love that brotherly stuff.
I see Rolly as a very tragic figure.
fliewatuet
· 12 November 2003
· Chapter 9: Leverage
Ouch, ouch, ouch! Things are getting from bad to worse. First of all, Halbarad and co. are attacked by wolves, their horses go missing and Halbarad himself is even bitten by one (not that the poor guy has enough to worry about as it is). And Aragorn really could use a Ranger and a Wizard (and a Hobbit) coming to the rescue. I dare not imagine what being forced to watch Rolly die under Teburic's torture would do to Aragorn's already burdened conscience. And Aragorn's attempt to destroy Teburic's hope to get an answer out of him once and for all was marvellous (though not all that successful). For you tackled one of my pet peeves with Aragorn-torture stories: You gave him a believable reason for acting up against his torturer, other than a strange sense of pride that results in him not wanting to give away that he is suffering as can be found in a lot of stories.
And as far as Rolly is concerned, he is quite curious and poses a lot of questions that Aragorn would better not answer (not that he did, at least not so far). I am still not quite convinced that Teburic and Rolly are not playing a very sick version of the good cop/bad cop game, but if they do, then Rolly either has a lot of talent as an actor (and stuntman) or a lot to win/lose. And if Teburic found out about the prevailing theme of Aragorn's dreams ... Halbarad would better hurry!
fliewatuet
Author's reply
I hated to do that to poor Halbarad but I really needed to slow him down (so did somebody else).
Aragorn isn't going to count on getting any help - he's used to dealing with problems on his own, as you well know! I agree that I don't see Aragorn as being focused as much on protecting his image as on getting the job done. Especially when the chips are down. Although he would die before letting Halbarad see him show weakness...
Rolly is supposed to be an enigma so I'm glad that you are still guessing. So is Aragorn. He can't take the chance, though, that Rolly really is an innocent victim, can he?
striders girl
· 12 November 2003
· Chapter 9: Leverage
Oh fantastic post! Brilient! I'm absolutely loving this story.
I couldn't wait to get home to read this so I'm reviewing it from school. My friend Anna says I'm mad to do this, but oh well!
Keep up the great work!
Author's reply
Tell your friend that eventually she will realize that reality is overrated- you are just ahead of your time!
Thanks for the lovely feedback - it means a lot to me!
Eledhwen
· 12 November 2003
· Chapter 9: Leverage
Heck, what a dilemma. Please don't hurt Aragorn or Rolly too much! Another excellent chapter.
Author's reply
I agree that Aragorn's had enough. As for Rolly, well, that's up to him...
grumpy
· 11 November 2003
· Chapter 9: Leverage
hi there, first off I am still laughing after reading "the Karenator" review,
Anyways loved this chapter, never thought of Halbarad as having grandkids, and i do believe he is starting to panic after finding the pack. He should be! if they don't hurry along a little faster, Strider is going to have nothing left to be mashed up. It is a hard choice. save the boy, or give up the Shire's secret. A no win situation.
Frankly I stil don't trust the boy, His questions only have a way of making Strider feel worse.
Looking forward to more
Author's reply
Hi, Grumpy!
I am still laughing at Karen's also - I will be laughing at it for days since I am too dense to get it all in one sitting!
Thanks for reviewing again. Yeah, I figure Halbarad's got those good Dunedain genes so he's had to have been doing something for the last 70 years. They can't all be angsty and elf-stricken like Aragorn. Finding that pack really shook him up - up until then I think he was telling himself that Aragorn could handle anything. As for the boy's questions, he might actually be trying to resolve something in his own mind...