“I ‘on’t ‘ink’ i’’ll ‘ork, ‘erry.”
“Stop that and hold still.” Merry chastised his younger cousin.
Pippin rolled his eyes and opened his mouth wider, so as to allow Merry some working room. Merry was busily tying a strand of thread around Pippin’s front left tooth. For the past two months, or, as Pippin put it, ‘forever’, that tooth had been loose with no signs of coming out anytime soon. Pippin had finally turned to his older and supposedly ‘wiser’ cousin for help. After much deliberation, Merry had fallen back on the old idea of tying a piece a thread to the tooth, then attaching the other end to something. After pawning a piece of thread off of the unsuspecting Pearl, Merry had tried to tie it to Pippins tooth.
“Your tooth is too slippery.” Merry remarked as the loop slipped off the tooth once again.
Pippin rolled his eyes again. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” he said sarcastically.
“You want me to help you or not?” Pippin paused, and then nodded. “Then be quiet and help me put this on!” Merry said with finality.
“Put what on?” The two lads turned to see Pippins sister Pervinca, commonly known as ‘Vinca’ come skipping up. “That tooth not out yet, Pip?” Vinca asked cheerfully cocking her head sympathetically at her eight-year-old brother.
Pippin shook his head sadly and wiggled his tooth with his tongue.
Vinca shuddered and said, “I’ll help. Anything to get him to stop DOING that.”
Pippin grinned and wiggled to tooth a couple more times for Vinca’s benefit.
Vinca set her hands on her hips and said, “Cut it OUT Pippin!”
Pippin was just about to annoy his sister further when Merry poked him on the shoulder. Hard. “Ow!” Pippin protested, rubbing his shoulder.
“Cut it out, Pip. We need her help.” Merry untangled the piece of thread and handed it to Vinca. “You try.”
Pippin backed away slowly. “Uh-uh, I’m NOT letting her near my mouth.”
“Then you can just walk around with a loose tooth until you die and not be able to eat ANYTHING sticky or chewy for EVER.” Vinca replied coolly as she coiled up the thread.
Pippin thought over all the sticky things he loved. Peanut brittle, and taffy and popcorn. He sighed and opened his mouth.
With the precision born from years of threading needles, Vinca tied the piece of thread around her brothers’ tooth. “There.” she said in satisfaction.
Pippin gave an experimental wiggle. The thread stayed put. “Not bad Vinca.” he said, wiggling again.
Vinca glared at him. “Stop that right this second, Peregrin Took, before I tell Mum what you’re doing!”
Merry looked up from where he’d been tying the other end of the thread to the doorknob of Pippin and Vinca’s house. “You wouldn’t DARE, Vinca.”
Vinca tossed her auburn curls and grinned mischievously. “Maybe I would and maybe I wouldn’t.”
“You tell, Vinca an’ I’ll tell Mum that you snuck out last night to giggle and gab with your friends.” Pippin threatened, wincing as Merry tugged on the thread to make sure it was tight.
Vinca’s eyes widened. “Why you little sneak! You’ve been spying on me!”
Pippin backed behind Merry to get out of the way of his sister, who’s green eyes were now blazing like fire. “It’s not my fault that you giggle so loud the whole Shire can hear you.”
Vinca gave a cry of dismay and darted after him. Pippin yelped and ran around Merry, in the process entangling his cousin in the thread. Pippin was just about to make a break for it, when the thread ran out. Vinca had done her job to well, and the knot held. Pippin was sent flying and landed with a thud on his back in the foyer. Vinca gasped and ran to help him up, while Merry untangled himself from the thread. “Are you all right?” Vinca asked as Pippin sat up dizzily.
Pippin nodded, his eyes still unfocused. Suddenly they cleared and focused on Vinca. “I-I think so.” he replied shakily.
“Did that yank your tooth out?” Merry asked eyeing the mass of thread on the floor with distaste. “It better have, for all the trouble it’s caused.”
Pippin ran his tongue over his teeth. “Still there.” he replied sadly. “Not even a tad looser.”
Vinca sighed and helped him off the floor. Merry brushed himself off and shook the wad of thread off his foot. “Let’s try that again.” he suggested. “I don’t think tangled thread will be a problem.”
Pippin nodded and backed away until the thread went taunt. It was quite a sight, Pippin standing there with his mouth open and a long thread running from his tooth to the door, with a big wad of tangled thread in the middle. Vinca laughed and said, “Points off for messiness, Merry.”
“I’m not trying to win an award, Pervinca Took, I am trying to get Pippins tooth out. Now, would you kindly hold onto his shoulders while I slam the door?” Merry said testily.
Pippins green eyes widened. “Why?” he asked as Vinca stood behind him and grasped his shoulders firmly.
“So when the door closes you won’t sprawl onto the floor again.” Merry explained wearily.
Pippin nodded and braced himself. Merry slammed the door. Merry’s plan worked! Pippin didn’t go sprawling on the floor. Pervinca went with him.
“Ow..’ Pervinca moaned.”
“Ow, nothing,” Pippin muttered from the floor. “My head’s been hit twice and I’ve got a sister on top of me!”
“Oh be quiet…” Vinca said as she got to her feet. “My head…”
Merry surveyed them, shaking his head in disgust. “I think we might have to move onto Plan B.” he said.
“Plan B?” the Took’s chorused.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fifteen minutes later, Pippin and Merry were up in a tree, deploying Plan B. This involved Pippin’s tooth being once again tied to something, this time a bucket and the bucket being filled with rocks. Then. Pippin would get in the tree and drop the bucket off, with someone holding onto him. Vinca had insisted that Merry do this, as she had held him LAST time.
“I don’t think this is going to work either.” Pippin remarked as he examined the bucket with a look of apprehension.
“Sure it will. You won’t fall.” Merry reassured him.
Pippin eyed his cousin skeptically. “How are you so sure?”
“Cause I’m LOTS stronger than Vinca, so I can hold on better.” Merry explained with a look of pride.
“I heard that.” Vinaa said from the ground. “Hurry up and drop the bucket, the day’s a-wastin’!”
Pippin took a deep breath and dropped the bucket. Merry locked his arms around Pippins waist and braced himself. Nothing happened. The bucket swayed slightly above the ground but otherwise did nothing. Merry groaned and loosened his grip slightly. Bad idea. Pippin was immediately jerked onto the ground and lay there amid a pile of stones. Merry quickly scrambled down from the tree and ran to Pippin. Pippin lay there, gazing at the sky thoughtfully. Then he said, in a low, irritated voice, “I TOLD you it wouldn’t work.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I don’t mind telling you, Meriadoc Brandybuck, that I am in no way looking forward to this ‘Plan C’ that you’ve cooked up.”
Merry laughed as he tied the end of the thread to Maggie’s collar. “Don’t worry, Pippin, I’m sure this’ll work. Old Maggie isn’t strong enough to drag you after her.” He paused for a moment. “I think.”
“Somehow I’m not reassured.” Vinca said dryly.
“Well look at her!” Merry said, gesturing to the old dog. “She couldn’t pull a mouse, much less Pippin.”
“Pearl’s not going to be happy when she finds out that her dog is Plan C.” Vinca said, casting a nervous glance towards the house.
Merry dismissed her with a wave of his hand and tightened the thread. ‘Plan C’, as it were, was to tie the other end of the thread to Maggie’s collar, then set her running. HOPEFULLY this would work.
Pippin sighed and once again braced himself. Merry stood at the far end of the yard and whistled. “C’mon, Maggie, c’mon!” Maggie, an old dog who’s prime was probably around the time of Bullroarer Took, raised her head and gave Merry a glance. Then she returned to napping in the sun. Merry rolled his eyes and tried again. This time, Maggie didn’t even give him a glance.
“Try pushing her a little.” suggested Pippin to Vinca. Vinca gave Maggie a little shove with her foot. The dog lifted her head and gave Vinca a look of extreme betrayal, as if saying ‘why have you joined with these boys in tormenting me?” then lay down again with a sigh.
Merry rolled his eyes then yelled, “GET OVER HERE RIGHT THIS MINTUE, YOU CRAZY MUTT!!” Maggie rose with another sigh and scratched at her collar, then began loping across to Merry.
Pippin closed his eyes and braced himself, but felt nothing. he opened his eyes to see the end of the thread lying on the grass. “Maggie must’ve untied it when she scratched herself.” he explained to Merry when the lad came over to investigate. Maggie, having been forgotten lay down again and gave a moan.
“Well, there’s nothing for it Pip. You know what we must do.” Merry said with a sigh.
Pippin eyed him warily. “ What? What do we have to do?”
“I’ll have to just yank it out.”
Pippins eyes widened and he yelped, “WHAT?!?”
Merry nodded solemnly and said, “Vinca, hold onto him.”
Pippin whirled around to see his sister advancing on him. He stared at her for a moment, hands clamped over his mouth, then, as she made a grab for him, ducked and ran. He could hear Merry and Vinca chasing after him, so he ran as fast as he could, looking back and forth for an escape. He saw Frodo sitting under a tree reading. “FRODO!!” he shrieked as he charged towards him.
Frodo watched the lad barrel towards him for a moment, confused, then, just as Pippin was about to slam into him, he stood, to get out of the way. Pippin and Frodo’s heads conked together and when Merry and Vinca came running up, the two were lying on the ground, groaning.
“What happened?” Vinca asked as Pippin sat up shakily.
“I crashed into Frodo.” Pippin said. He rubbed his mouth then broke into a grin. “My tooth’s out! Yay for Frodo!! Frodo?”
Frodo sat up slowly and groaned. He spat something into his hand.
It was a tooth.