Sam set his hand on his forehead and sighed. “I hate rabbits.” he muttered as he surveyed his garden, which now resembled a mud pit, all the vegetables, save for a few scruffy ones, having been eaten. Sam sat down hard on the grass and glared towards the small forest that lay several yards away. Sam had chosen the small quiet field for one of his gardens, because it was just that- QUIET. Unfortunately it was also the home of several small rabbits. Rabbits that were very pleased with the new eating arrangements. Sam gave a snort and stood. “Not on MY watch you won’t…..” he muttered as he strode back to Hobbiton.
Pippin was sitting in a tree, relaxing while Merry read books and ate apples with a fervor at the base of the tree. Both lads watched Sam stride across the fields towards them and exchanged glances. “Quick, Pip, what did we do?”
Sam walked right up to Merry and stood, arms folded, a severely irritated look on his face.
Pippin gazed down at him with a puzzled expression. “I didn’t do it.” he assured.
“Of COURSE you didn’t, not unless you have long ears and a furry cotton-y tail and eat vegetables.”
Merry eyed his younger cousin playfully. “That sounds like Pippin, all right.” Pippin’s eyes widened and he groped for something to throw at his cousin. Merry ducked, laughing and turned back to Sam. “So, what’s the problem, Sam?”
Sam plopped down next to Merry and munched one of his apples in a depressed fashion. “Rabbits.” he mumbled, taking another huge bite.
Merry watched his apple disappear rapidly and considered being offended. He decided against it and said. “What about em?”
Sam finished up the apple and tossed the core as hard as he could. “They ate my ENTIRE garden. Every last cucumber, cabbage and carrot. All that's left is a few scruffy, filthy, little lettuce leaves and a couple carrots! They’re pests!” He watched the core roll away over the grass and sighed again. “They need to be exterminated.”
Pippin scrambled down from the hill and helped himself to an apple as well.” It that where we come in?” he asked, biting into the apple.
“We?” Merry asked mournfully, remembering his plans to do absolutely nothing today. He eyed his diminishing pile of apples with sorrow.
Pippin poked his cousin and gave him a reproachful look, which was quite lost on Merry. A reproachful look isn’t very effective when one’s mouth is full of apple. “Yes, WE. We’re going to help Sam set traps for the fiends and rid the land of their filth once and for all!” Pippin waved his apple for emphasis and accidentally bonked Merry on the head with it. “Ooops. Sorry, Mer.”
“One would think you were talking about goblins and other beasts, instead of cute little bunnies.” Merry growled as he wiped apple out of his hair.
Pippin gave Merry his best pleading look. Head cocked, eyes wide, sorrowful gaze, tentative smile. Merry sighed and set down his book. Pippin snickered inwardly. Works every time.
“I’m in, what do we do?” Merry asked, glowering at his younger manipulative cousin.
Sam grinned and crossed his arms. Time for business. “First, we all set traps for the beasts. Then, we come back tomorrow to see how many we’ve caught.”
“By all means.” Merry grumbled as the lads headed back to Hobbiton. “Let us rid the land of the horrid fluffy little fiends.”
“Oh cut it out, Merry.” Pippin said, pleased at this new adventure, of a sorts. Merry rolled his eyes and sighed, but he cut it out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So, Merry can take that part, I’ll take this part and Pippin can take that part.” Sam was busily assigning trap routes for himself and the younger lads. Sam hiked his father’s fishing net further up onto his shoulder and set forth. Pippin, who had several pieces of rope and a suspicious-looking bag shrugged and walked into the woods as well. Merry, who was equipped with only one piece of rope sighed and walked into the woods, looking for a suitably strong tree.
Sam carefully spread the net and tied pieces of rope to all four corners. “What are you doing, Sam?” Pippin asked from several yards away.
“You’ll see….” Sam replied with a smile as he began setting his traps.
Merry, who had finished setting his traps walked over to where Pippin was carefully setting a snare in the underbrush. “How do you expect those flimsy knots to hold, Pip?” he asked.
Pippin glared at his cousin, but he knew Merry was right. The knots WERE rather flimsy. ‘I don’t.” Pippin replied, reaching for his bag.
Merry watched him, confused. “What do you mean?”
Pippin rummaged carefully in the bag and drew out a two-inch-long thorn. “From my Mum’s blackberry bushes.” he explained.
Merry shuddered. No hobbit lad had ever attempted to filch anything from Eglantine Took’s garden, on account of the blackberry bushes that bordered the garden on three sides. It was rumored that the thorns there reached lengths of six inches.
Pippin grinned and carefully inserted the thorn into the rope. “See, if the rabbit struggles, the snare will fall apart. BUT, it won’t struggle, because if it pulls, the thorns will go into it’s foot.” Pippin inserted thorns around the snare and set it carefully. “There.”
“Clever.” Merry remarked. “Clever idea.”
“I thought so.” Pippin replied. He got up and, grabbing his bag and his rope and heading further into the woods. “Only twenty-four more!”
“Twenty-four…..” Merry moaned.
Finally, all the traps were set, and several very tired, dirty, but rather happy lads set off for home. On their way, they passed Frodo, who was obviously heading for his favorite tree on the far side of the meadow. The boys were so tired that only Sam offered Frodo a weak, “Hello, Mr. Frodo.”
Pippin and Merry merely grunted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, the rabbit hunters met at the edge of town and set off towards the forest. “Have either of you seen Mr. Frodo?” Sam asked. “Mr. Bilbo hasn’t seen him for quite a while.”
Pippin shook his head, wishing hard that he was back in bed and Merry mused, “The last time I saw him was yesterday. He was heading for the meadow.”
“Do you suppose he fell asleep in his tree and hasn’t come home yet? It is rather early. He could still be asleep.” Pippin mumbled, yawning.
“Early?’ Sam asked, confused. “It’s nearly eight-thirty. I’ve been up for hours.”
“Good for you.” Pippin muttered.
“D’you suppose he got lost?” Merry asked, still wondering about Frodo.
Sam shook his head. “Mr. Frodo knows those woods like the back of his hand.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Merry said. “Maybe he just took a walk and decided to spend the night out there.”
Sam nodded. “That makes sense. He said once that he loves to walk in the little woods…” Sam trailed off and stopped stock still on the path.
Merry stared at him. “Isn’t the little woods where we set our traps?” he asked slowly.
Sam nodded and Merry stared at him. Then, the older two lads broke into a run. Pippin, who had been taking advantage of the pause to take a snooze standing up, jolted awake and, moaning, ran after them.
The lads thundered to the edge of the woods and peered in. “Mr. Frodo?’ Sam asked tentatively. No answer. The boys slowly crept into the woods, keeping an eyes out for the familiar dark head. Nothing.
Merry sighed and said, ‘Well, we might as well check out other traps for rabbits, as we haven’t caught a Frodo. Where’d you set your traps, Pip?”
Pippin batted his eyes in a confused manner. “We were supposed to remember where they were?” he asked.
Merry rolled his eyes and said in a low tone, “Yes, Pippin.”
“Oh.” Pippin mused over this for a moment. Then he offered a sheepish smile. “Well, I didn’t.”
“PIPPIN!!” Merry yelped. “YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND ANY OF THEM??”
“I can tell you where one of them is.” a dry voice said some yards away.
The lads whirled to see Frodo, very dirty and sleepy-looking indeed, sitting in the underbrush. “Mr. Frodo!” Sam exclaimed. “Whatever are you doing there?”
Frodo tried to stand and winced. “Sitting.” He replied, crossing his arms and glaring at them. “I don’t suppose any of you know anything about a very pointy snare?”
Pippin brightened. “It worked! My trap worked!”
“It most certainly did. Now, would you come over here and GET IT OFF ME!?” Frodo crossed his arms harder and glowered at Pippin. He looked so comical, sitting there with his arms crossed and dirt all over him, that Pippin and Merry couldn’t resist a few snickers. “Oh be quiet.” Frodo said.
Pippin, still giggling, walked over to undo the trap. Sam’s eyes widened and he started to say, “Pippin no-” Too late.
Pippin accidentally triggered Sam’s trap and pretty soon was caught up in Hamfast Gamgee’s net, three feet off the ground. “SAM!!” He yelped. “GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!”
Sam hurried over and began trying to undo the trap. “Merry, would you get Mr. Frodo out of there, please?”
Merry, grinning widely, walked over towards Frodo. Suddenly he tripped and fell with a thud onto the floor. Frodo rolled his bright blue eyes heavenward and asked, “Are you quite finished?”
Merry glared at him and tried to stand. “Just a sec-OW!!” He fell back onto the floor and looked behind him. His foot was caught in another trap. “This is just perfect.” he muttered, trying to pull his way out. His eyes widened as a dozen of Mrs. Eglantine Took’s thorns drove into his ankle. “OW…..”
Sam gave a shrug and said to Pippin, “I think you’ll have to wait for someone to come and cut you down. I tied the ropes too tight.”
“What..?” Pippin wailed.
Sam turned to free Frodo and noticed Merry on the ground. “What are you doing down there, Merry?”
Merry rolled his eyes and replied, “I am lying on the ground.”
Sam batted his eyes for a moment then said slowly, “Okaaaay….”
Frodo smirked and asked in a deceivingly polite voice, “Sam, would you please get me out of here?”
Sam hurried over and undid the snare around Frodo’s ankle. His eyes widened at the several pinpricks of blood that appeared on Frodo’s foot as the thorns slowly slid out. “Mr. Frodo ,your foot…”
“I’m fine. Lets get some help for these rabbit hunters." Frodo stood and brushed himself off, then set off for the edge of the forest.
Sam hurried after him- until one of Merry’s traps made an appearance. This one was also a snare, only it flipped it’s victim upside down. Sam yelped as he swung by his foot from the tree.
Frodo stood, his hands on his hips and a smug smile on his face. He surveyed the three, Pippin in a net hanging from a tree, Sam hanging upside-down and Merry still sprawled on the ground. Then he turned and, sticking his hands in his pockets and whistling, began walking off.
“Hey!” Merry shouted, “Aren’t you going to get help?”
Frodo paused mid-whistle and turned back. He grinned mischievously. “Eventually.” he replied and walked off.
There was silence in the little woods for a moment. Then chaos erupted. “Why did you have to stick these thorns in this snare, Pippin?!?” Merry yelped as he tried to sit up.
“Oh, forgive me, I didn’t know that YOU would get caught in it. If I did I would’ve used bigger thorns.” Pippin replied, squirming and trying to find a more comfortable position.
“WHAT??!”
“Well, why’d you make this snare so strong, Merry? We were only catching rabbits, not bears!” Sam’s face was turning a rather unattractive shade of red.
“Well, you made this net strong enough. And cramped, I might add.” Pippin shot back.
“Forgive me, I was trying to catch rabbits, not hobbits!”
“Shh!” Merry said suddenly. “Look!”
They did, with difficulty. There, in the meadow, was a rabbit. It sat up and wiggled it’s nose at the hobbits, then returned to its task- eating the remainder of Sam’s garden.
“I hate rabbits.” the three said in unison.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True to his word, Frodo did send help –eventually. By eventually, he meant two hours later. Although, as Sam pointed out, he could’ve been a lot meaner, “He could’ve kept us out here all night.”
Needless to say, the lads got in quite a bit of trouble for their antics. Eglantine was not pleased that her thorns had been used to hurt people, and Hamfast was not happy with the loss of his net. And of course, all three of the hobbits were very polite to Frodo for a long time after that. And not a one of them was quite able to stomach rabbit for about two weeks.