French Pony
· 14 March 2005
· Chapter 5: Chapter Five: Legolas
Oooh, that Belas! He's such a bully! He makes me madder than a stomped-on hornet nest.
Legolas and Daeron certainly have their hearts in the right place. But, having had a chance to meet Alar and hear a little bit from him, it seems that the best course of action for the cousins would be to concentrate on being Alar's friends rather than on taking Belas down. Alar sounds like a lonely, miserable kid, despite his communion with the forest. I'm sure the forest makes him happy, but Elves appear to be social animals, and trees can't make up for the company of other Elves.
(By the way, a baby mammal is a suckling, and a baby tree is a sapling.)
Belas may have an ego the size of Minas Tirith, but he really isn't very clever if he hasn't yet figured out how to take credit from underlings to make himself look good.
I would say more but I must take off for gamelan class and then the library.
Author's reply
He makes me madder than a stomped-on hornet nest.
LOL! That sounds like something I'd say. And yeah, Belas is a jerk. Alar is an easy target, but Alar being better at something than he is, well...that's the last straw. Legolas had not realized how lonely Alar must have been all his life until now, and he likes Alar. Overall, Alar has adjusted well by finding something he really enjoys. He's shy and probably a bit of a loner to boot, but I think he'd like to have some friends too.
Belas hasn't figured out yet that Alar can make him look good. He's too busy being a bully. Belas is really one unhappy elf. I'd feel sorry for him if wasn't such a bonehead.
(By the way, a baby mammal is a suckling, and a baby tree is a sapling.)
I'm smiling. Thanks. Suckling was the word I intended to use. I've looked on the Internet trying to find something about tree pruning where the term is used, but I've not been able to find anything, so I've concluded that using that term for newly sprouted branches or for new sprouts off roots of trees is regional or colloquial. Saplings, of course, are new 'baby' trees. Sucklings or sucker branches are new limbs on mature trees when they are small and pliable. At least, it is down south where we have many strange terms. So, to recap, technically you're absolutely correct. I'm going to have to find another word that designates 'baby limb'! I'm thinking.... :>)
Thanks so much for you review. I hope your class went well and the library was nice and quiet.
Karen
Oh yeah! I love this pace of yours! I *did* need to hide away in Mirkwood today!
Legolas definitely has a voice of his own. One can trace Daeron's wild imagination in some of his observations, but, above all, he's Legolas, the responsible, reflective, considered... and impulsive Legolas we know. I had a glimpse of Legolas of the Nine Walkers you see, in his way of reasoning Daeron out of confronting Belas and yet being ready to do something about the problem. Great! I'm truly curious to see what happens next. Belas is truly thick, not being able to take advantage of the poor Alar's skills to look better... and Daeron seems ready to snap, or worse, embark both of them in some foolish prank! And the red striped lady is still around! oh my! I hope I can wait till next weekend!
And, wait wait wait... I seem to remeber this two served as "novices" at the king's laundry some time ago! Maybe Thranduil needs to know their stage wasn't as succesful as he might have expected!;-)
Author's reply
LOL! What a great review. I'm so glad that I've not overwhelmed you with rapid-fire chapters. I got confused and posted on Friday night last week when I should have posted on Sunday. So I waited until this morning. I don't want to scare everyone away by overdoing it. I'll probably aim for the next chapter around Thursday.
I'm so glad that Legolas's voice is distinctive! He was one of the reasons I did this story from individual character's POVs. I didn't feel like I could pin him down. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear that he sounds like himself. And what a compliment to hear that you could see the future Legolas in him at this point! He's young, but I think he's level headed and serious about his duty.
Yep, Belas is thicker than a plank. He's so busy trying to intimidate Alar, that he can't see that he's throwing away his secret weapon. What a lug-head.
You're right; these two did spend some time in the palace laundry. Must not have taken. After this adventure, Thranduil might want to send them back for a refresher course.
Thanks so much for the review. Loved it!
Karen
This was a wonderful chapter--really well done. The conversation while they were bathing was very funny (had me giggling outloud) and did a good job of showing everything they'd been through without having to actually describe it or have a chapter on it. That's often tough to do.
And the exercise was really well done. It seemed very realistic and showed the conflicts between all the kids and their different personalities really well. I totally enjoyed it. Good job.
Author's reply
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. The guys had been through a lot by the time we saw them again. They're tired, hot and sick of eating awebas. They had also been on alert for so long in anticipation of what the masters were going to spring on them next, that I think they were ready for a break.
I'm far from knowledgeable about battles or exercises, so I resorted to the Internet. A wonderful tool! I'm also pleased that you found the personalities of the different characters to be distinct. I enjoyed getting to know everyone from inside their heads this time around. Hopefully, this will help me for future stories to be able to capture individual voices.
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it. It's always a pleasure for me to hear from you. And btw, I hope you're feeling better. Let us know how you're doing. I'm thinking about you.
Karen
daw the minstrel
· 14 March 2005
· Chapter 5: Chapter Five: Legolas
That opening gives a really good sense of what the novices have been through, right down to the fact that they wash quickly because a quick, surprise command could come at any time and they'd have to jump to obey. Also, as the mother of a college age son, I thought you'd like to know that my brother had a roommate who used to come back from doing laundry to toss his clean clothes onto the floor where they would mingle indistinguisably with his dirty ones. Then he would pick things up in the morning, sniff them, and spray them with Right Guard. Just a tip for Daeron.
After the little group crossed the stream, I was reading happily along when a terrible thought occured to me. What if the two people they were tracking weren't the ones they were supposed to be tracking? What if they were bad guys? So I was really glad when I was told that the trees were happy.
I'm so glad that Alar did well.
Author's reply
The game are slightly repetitious, I think. Lots of tracking and mock battles. I'm glad that it showed that the novices had been through the wringer already. And they were so happy to bathe and cool off for a few minutes. Daeron's mother would be pleased that he was so eager to take a bath. He's getting older now and girls are a consideration. I think that's when the guys start caring a little more. Girls, too, probably. But my experience is limited in what sort of frilly spins the female of the species put on at that age. My memory is gone about myself at that age. I'm blocking it out. :>)
Bad guys! Wish I had thought of that! That would have been exciting. I was so busy worrying about spiders that I couldn't see anything but sticky webs and nasty, hissing spiders. I'll file that one away. At this point though, I would have really felt bad for Alar if they had run into bad men or spiders. He's got his hands full with Belas, the bellower.
Thanks, daw, for reading and reviewing.
Karen
Where to begin?
Dirty underwear. *sigh* Living with three males, (no, it's not like a reverse Three's Company, one husband, two sons, 14 and 20 who are helpless when it comes to housework) can I ever relate to that scene. There are times I have not even tried the laundry, resorting to the garbage instead. (Have you met the socks that can stand on their own yet?) ;) LOL that Daeron tries to pawn that odorous job off on Legolas!
Alar's tracking skills. What a brilliant thought to have him listening to the trees, of course elves would use that ability!
And the mock battle. You described so wonderfully what was happening that I could visualize it. And Daeron complaining they had to fight like orcs -- an excellent tidbit there too. Of course they would have to consider changing the fighting style. I don't know if that would have occurred to me or not.
I know an orc's rear end when I see one Go, Legolas! About time! But I think it may backfire on him.
Author's reply
Guys! Gotta love 'em. My oldest was home on spring break last week and his dirty clothes sat in front of the washer all week. He finished them late yesterday afternoon. He was most distressed that I didn't do them for him. Poor baby. And yes, I have met the socks that can stand on their own. I am also running an orphanage for orphan socks. A whole basket full. I don't know where the mates go.
Alar is extraordinarily good with tracking. The sad part is that he's learned because he's been so alone. He's learned to communicate with the trees so easily it has become second nature to him. Combine that with the natural abilities of a wood-elf and you've got one heck of a tracker. I figure the other novices are pretty good too, but Alar is just fast.
I'm glad you liked the battle. I like a good battle scene that doesn't run on too long, but I'm afraid I have little knowledge about what really goes on other than what I've read. Imagination is my only friend in this. I'm not sure how I came up with the changing fighting styles--maybe I read it somewhere else--but it makes sense to me that the masters would try to prepare them for the differing styles of the people of ME. OH! I know where I read it! On a site about the people who choreographed the battles in the LOTR movies. The guy who did this talked about inventing different styles of fighting for orcs and men and elves. Dwarves too, I guess. The site was very interesting. I'm so pleased it sounded realistic to you.
Thanks so much for your review. I think I hear my washer beeping. Back to the laundry.
Karen
What a fascinating chapter, with all those details of the tricks of tracking and the final battle, even with its lack of real weapons, was still very engaging.
The laundry scene was funny. Yes, there are times that I'd like to burn my kids' clothes rather than wash them. Do the novices know the trick of turning their underwear inside out to wear again? Disgusting trick, but I am sure well used by those who loathe doing laundry.
I like your Legolas. He seems very mature and calm for an elfling, but not totally apathetic to the nasty ways of Belas, especially when he stood up to Belas on Alar's behalf.
I wonder what Daeron has in mind for Belas. I hope it's nasty.
Author's reply
I'm learning all sorts of laundry tricks in the replies. Daeron would LOVE your idea about turning his underwear inside out. I'm so sorry I didn't think of that when I was writing this. I'm still cackling with the image of him doing just that.
I had to do a little cheating and find some websites about tracking. Just the basics. Enough to keep them moving along on their trail. I'm glad I didn't sound too dense.
I wanted Legolas and Daeron to go up against one another at least once. Daeron finds pride in his ability to use his blades. Legolas is so proficient with his weapons, Daeron needs something to be good at. And Daeron takes great delight in knowing that his father was an extraordinary swordsman. He likes to hear that he's like his father. I figured it would kill him to lose to Legolas.
Legolas is trying hard to be mature and reasonable throughout this whole Belas issue. But Belas is beginning to push his buttons. And Legolas is also trying hard to keep Daeron from belting the slug. His peacemaker efforts faltered there for a minute when he called Belas an orc's rear end.
Thanks for your review. I'm still chuckling about the underwear.
Karen
I smiled. “I will take clean undergarments.”
LOL, Even a grown elf-warrior has to worry about his naneth's concerns. I like how you've carried that joke through. ;)
This matter is of a personal nature as well as one that may concern the realm. Hmmm, now I wonder just what it is that he thinks might be being hidden? I get the feeling we already know, but you're trying to misdirect us ... mmm?
Author's reply
Hmmm, now I wonder just what it is that he thinks might be being hidden? I get the feeling we already know, but you're trying to misdirect us ... mmm?
Darn! I wish you had told me what you're thinking. It's probably better than what I've written! I might want to use it! :>)
Seregon knows his mother well. She's the caretaker of the world. Over time he's learned to deal with her 'mothering', but poor Daeron is just getting the first taste of her worries when he's out of her sight. Clean underwear is a universal mama worry--as I'm sure you know. You don't want to be taken to the ER and be caught wearing old drawers. But I promise I've never asked my boys if they're wearing good boxers. I have asked if they've brushed their teeth though.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm hoping that soon we'll see what the sewing circle is up to?
Karen
Cough, Cough...*Mutant* spiders on the loose, you said? In the same forest where Daeron is? beg pardon, in the same Arda Daeron is? See, you're cruel indeed and those two big elves, brother and cousin, you're plotting with are even crueler, not to call back the novices... a group of novices containing Daeron! Naneth was right, he will be needing his clean undergarments!!! Hope they'll get a nasty, well-deserved bad encounter with the red-banded lady while they "enjoy" their night out in the forest!
I was expectant to read Seregon's pov. It's an intriguing character to me. I wondered whether he's truly so dull and serious as Daeron and Legolas seem to consider him...Well, he's a good, caring friend, and a hard worker too. And he seems to have a barbed tongue and a sense of humour that is entirely his own...I wonder whether he was anyting like Daeron in his youth?
His "sentimental advice for the ignorant elf" tirade is a work of art of male reasoning. Suddenly, this two grown up elves looked almost exactly like Legolas and Daeron in last chapter discusing the bullying novice thing...I laughed a lot reading it, and all in all it was an endearing scene, this two overworking and responsible elves discussing love, and kisses and maidens with such confidence and eagerness. Like adolecents. Or even worse. Poor ones, they *do* need a life.
And Aldamir seems compleetely smitten by the lady! She's doing a great job, hope things do not prove bad for her, whatever it is they're hiding. She seems to be exactly what the king's heir would need!
Author's reply
Yeah, mutant spiders. Kind of makes you feel sorry for Daeron, doesn't it? Aldamir is trying to not overreact since his brother and cousin are among the novices in the woods, but the spiders are on the move. I don't know if Daeron took enough clean underwear for this!
I'm glad you're enjoying checking Seregon out. He's mighty pleased and he's not spoken for, you know. He does have a good sense of humor, probably not quite as warped as Daeron's, but he has his own slant on life. Their father was quite a card too, I think. Both his sons inherited his sense of humor.
I was tickled pink when you compared the interaction between Aldamir and Seregon to Legolas and Daeron. YES! The grown up version. Sort of grown up version anyway. Seregon's advice is worth what one pays for it, I suspect. But his heart is in the right place. The two older brothers have been warriors for so long that they've sort of lost touch. Elenna is bringing 'touching' back into fashion.
Elenna is an interesting character. Personally, I like her. But I'm afraid things might get a little rocky.
Thanks so much for the review. And thanks for catching the parallel brothers! I'm so thrilled!
Karen
You have introduced several intriguing mysteries here: a new species of spider and sme sort of deception in Elenna and her father. Why do I suspect the two are somehow related? Maybe not - I look forward to being led down the path of seeing what happens. I like that in a story - some I want to guess what happens, but I like just watching the situation unfold as a good storyteller tells it.
I am glad Aldamir did kiss her, too ;D
Author's reply
A few mysteries are left to be resolved. The spiders are a problem that is slowly unfolding. Communication must have been fairly slow in comparison to our rapid dissemination of news. I've decided that messengers can move quickly through the forest, but what we can do in a matter of seconds, takes the elves a day and often more, depending on where they're going. And then they have to get back with replies.
Elenna and her father are acting fine, so I imagine Aldamir is slightly confused about this feeling his mother has had. Not to mention that he really doesn't want there to be anything potentially harmful to the realm in whatever they're hiding. That would be a bummer.
I appreciate your patience! With everyone having to have their say, and two locations of action, I'm afraid it might seem slow in revealing details. But the two story lines will come together.
Aldamir is glad he kissed Elenna too!
Thanks again for reading and reviewing.
Karen
Hello! I’m utterly ashamed that I haven’t reviewed your stories before now so I just thought I’d drop a quick line to let you know how much I enjoy them. I just spent the most marvellous few hours re-reading ‘Serious Trouble’ and then this one. I normally can’t read first-person narrative at all but wow, your characters are just so addictive! Daeron is a complete riot. He’s honestly one of the best OCs I’ve seen. Actually I love all your OCs – you bring them to life so wonderfully well - but I think my favourite so far is Seregon! There was a great line in ‘Serious Trouble’ about him. What was it? Something about him being strong and fierce and gentle and kind.
I just love what you’re doing with the different POVs in this story. With the name of each chapter so far I’ve just thought “Yay!”. I’m dying to know how the Endurance Games go. That Belas better watch out if he’s in a group with an indignant Daeron. And all that talk of spiders…ugh. I hate the things. I’m not even going to think about it. I completely feel for Daeron and his dislike of them. I must say, my instinct is to like Elenna and I’m certainly happy for Aldamir – but I guess I’ll just wait and see! Of course, poor Aldamir has a tough job at the moment with all this stuff about spiders and villages and I feel bad for him now that on top of everything he’ll be so conscious of what Elenna says.
Anyway, sorry this is short – I just didn’t want to leave it again or I’d get way behind! You write such gripping stories and you get into everyone’s heads so incredibly well. I can’t wait for more :-)
Author's reply
Thank you, Dot.
I really appreciate you giving Daeron and his POV a whirl. First-person POV is a funny thing. Some people really like it and others don't. I suppose it's just a preference, like whether you like onions on your hamburger or not. :>) I've always loved getting inside a character's head and seeing through their eyes how they view the world. I'm so pleased that you've enjoyed the stories. I'm truly humbled by your kind words about Daeron. And please don't apologize for not reviewing. I'm thrilled to hear from you now.
Belas is a garden variety bully. He scopes out the weakest person and then picks, unmercifully, on them. Personally, I think he's got problems. :>)
I'll join you in the spider haters anonymous group therapy class. Also known as SHAG. Take that as you will! :>) Down south in the US, it's a dance. Anyway...
Aldamir's love life is hanging by a thread. I do like Elenna. She's feisty and strong-willed and kisses him at her pleasure. Things never seem to turn out, though, as planned. Aldamir is between a rock and a hard place.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to hear from you and to hear that you're enjoying the story.
Karen
Though I am not one to run and scream at the sight of a spider, I don't think I can handle seeing spider carcasses all around me. Yech! Glad I'm not a Mirkwood elf. This whole situation sounds rather ominous, especially with the novices running wild in the forests. Is there going to be a showdown between the spiders and novices in the near future?
This whole business of resettling the settlements and realignment of troops sounds as complicated as running a huge corporation, only misktakes would be paid for in lives. Not an easy job to do. I certainly don't envy Aldamir. No wonder he's so apprehensive about getting serious with any elleth. Being royalty is more of a liability in this case. It's a good thing that he has Seregon to help him out, both with his professional duties and personal ones. How is it that Seregon is so knowledgible in the ways of courting? He sounds like he's been around quite a bit the the courtship game or has he been reading a lot of self-help books? .
So what secret are Elenna and her adar hiding? Like I said before, I hope she is not using Aldamir.
More! More! More!
Author's reply
LOL! Seregon's been reading self-help scrolls! He's not as cautious as Aldamir about spending time with a lovely maiden, but he doesn't have much time. Still, he isn't exactly 'Dear Abby'.
You're braver than I am! I try to avoid spiders whenever possible. One gnawed on my shoulder once and the resulting numbness and then muscle spasms cured me of ever getting near one again. And I didn't like them to start with. Daeron and I share our dislike of the eight-legged menaces. I'm pleased to say that I'm not quite as bad as he is. Good observation about spiders and novices not mixing. It's not looking good.
Resettling the villages would be a big headache. There's so much to take into consideration. Aldamir doesn't have an easy job and that has interfered with him thinking seriously about getting involved in a serious relationship. But even he acknowledges that he's made personal choices about not pursuing maidens. Personally, I think he's a little shy.
Thanks so much for your review. Love hearing from you anytime!
Karen
daw the minstrel
· 12 March 2005
· Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Seregon
Geez, I'm really enjoying what you're doing with changing POV in this story, Karen. I love getting into all these different heads.
Seregon is funny when he says that the masters are the bravest warriors he knows. I sympathize. Being responsible for these bumptious adolescent elves, armes, in the woods, would be a trying experience. I also liked his realization that elves were not always practical. That seems right to me.
I was so sorry for Aldamir when Thranduil told them about the queen's intuition about Elenna and her father. Poor guy. Now he's going to feel like he's sort of spying on her as he listens for a misstep. He's going to have a hard time being open, which means he's going to have a hard time loving her and being loved.
I think that given the link between love and sex that Tolkien seems to suggest existed among elves, Seregon is wise when he says that Aldamir is in love. And it's fun for us to read about!
Author's reply
Thanks, Daw for the kind words about the POV. As you know, I like first-person. I love rambling around in everyone's head. Writing each chapter from a different character's POV gave me an opportunity to get to know them better. I was sure that Seregon and Aldamir weren't as dull as Daeron thought, but I didn't know exactly why until I let them tell me. I'm so glad that you're not bored stiff with a bunch of OCs.
I imagine that Elves who have lived in the same place for as long as the Silvan Elves of Mirkwood would have a hard time letting go of their homes. Getting around to the practicality of moving must have taken them some time to come to grips with. And as a general statement, I think the Silvan Elves, especially, were very rooted in ME.
That was some bad news that Thranduil gave Aldamir, wasn't it. Kind of puts a whole new spin on things. Of course, some people don't listen. Thranduil is right to be worried.
Poor Aldamir has a bad case of love. Aldamir tipped Seregon off about how deep his feelings are when he talked about kissing Elenna. Nothing casual to him about those lip locks.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I love hearing from you. And I appreciate all your support.
Karen
Yay! A Seregon chapter. I love Seregon. I've thought he was intriguing ever since Daeron described him as dull as dirt in "Serious Trouble." And you know I like him and Aldamir together. This was my favorite part of the whole chapter:
“You have certainly taken a keen interest in my personal life as of late,” Aldamir said.
I chuckled. “As I do not have one, I thought to inflict myself into yours.”
Aldamir laughed. “Then allow me to suggest that you find your own maiden.”
“Would that I could,” I sighed. “My commanding officer rarely grants me respite from my duties.”
“Hm.m.m,” Aldamir hummed. “Then you should speak to him for I do not want you in mine.”
I slapped my hand over my heart. “I am hurt. I care only for your happiness—and a reminder of what it is like to kiss a maiden.”
A quicksilver glint flitted through his eyes. “It is nice. Very nice.”
Good building of tension here. I hear the drums of doom beating in the distance...
Author's reply
LOL! I hear those drums too.
Nope, Seregon and Aldamir aren't nearly as dull as Daeron thought. I've enjoyed seeing them alone. They don't have any 'roles' to play when it's just the two of them. I got to see their personalities. And I got to see what they think about one another...and everything else, of course. They both feel confined by their duty, but they're also both very duty bound. Without one another, their lives would be dull. I like their closeness. And Seregon wants details! He might be thinking that a nice maiden to warm him on cold nights would be a good thing too. But he's allowing Aldamir to be lab rat.
Thanks again for all your help and for taking the time to review.
Karen
French Pony
· 12 March 2005
· Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Seregon
What a fascinating look at the daily lives and business of the troop commander and . . . whatever Seregon's job is, I've forgotten exactly what. I always like "A Day In The Life Of. . . " stories, and this one seems very well thought out.
Seregon seems to have a good future ahead of him as a yenta. For someone who has never had a girlfriend, he knows an awful lot about how to go about being in love. It's so touching to see the way Aldamir leans on his opinions, and so wonderful that it means that the blind is leading the blind.
A new species of spider in the woods is certainly not a good sign. They can't have been around long, since the Elves don't seem to know much about them. They sound nasty, though. And something tells me that the poor innocent novices are going to learn much more about them than they expect, very soon. And they'll learn in a way that will either cure Daeron of his spider phobia forever or make him curl up in a little ball sucking his thumb for the next three years.
Is it just tradition that Aldamir and Seregon visit the novices during the Games? It seems like they have better things they could be doing. Or is it that the Games are part training exercise and part public show?
Author's reply
Hi French Pony,
I'm glad you're not bored to death with the military stuff. I consulted a former military friend for what sort of things they would be doing and how the division of duty would fall out. Not all that information makes it to the story, but it helps me stay clear about who does what. Seregon is second commander...in rank, right below Aldamir. He handles supplies and personnel and whatever else Aldamir tells him to do. Their jobs overlap sometimes, and Aldamir will do something that's technically Seregon's job, but overall, Aldamir's top dog in the military...under Thranduil, of course.
I laughed at your description of Seregon as yenta. This is a case of the blind leading the blind. Aldamir has never allowed himself too much time to foster relationship. I imagine that Seregon is less reticent, but he doesn't know much more...if anything more at all. I think Seregon's heart is in the right place.
The red-banded spiders are new. A little genetic engineering has been going on down south it seems. And the novices do seem to be at risk here. Hopefully in the end, things will turn out okay. Poor Daeron.
It is tradition for the commanders to view the Endurance Games for a day or two...secretly. This gives the commanders a chance to see the novices who are near pledging their faith to the king in action. The masters know they're there, but the novices don't. The novices may suspect that the commanders come, but they never know when and they never see them. The spider situation is sort of at a standstill for the commanders at the moment. They're doing all they can do from their posts and until they know whether the villagers are going to move--and when--they're in a holding pattern there too. They're still hoping for at least one night under the stars.
Thanks French Pony for your thoughtful reviews. They are always such a pleasure. I appreciate you taking the time to do them.
Karen
Ok, your nasty little red spiders are just that--nasty little things. That does not sound good at all. That was a singularly disgusting conversation--they are eating their cousins?! I didn't react any better to that statement then anyone else! :)
Poor Thranduil and stubborn villages. You can see the woodelves that way though-I mean they must have loved that forest if they turned away from the Great Journey to stay in it. And when you've lived someplace several thousand years you are not going to give it up easily. I enjoy reading about those type of struggles though I feel for Thranduil in them.
The idea that Elenna is hiding something is intriguing....
And I loved their conversation about her while rearranging the troops. Particularly this part:
“When she kisses me,” he said, as if savoring the memory like the finest vintage of his adar’s cellars, “it is as if it is the most natural thing in all of Arda. She is not timid or reserved, but kisses me at her pleasure.” His smile broadened. “And when she hugs me, she is like a darting bird that has wrapped her wings about me for a feather of an instant before she darts off to see more of the river or the forest while guiding me along in her wake. And then,” he said softly, “there are times when her kisses awaken a fire in me that leaves me breathless.” He stopped there as if he could not venture to dwell too long on that aspect.
That is a really lovely description.
Why do I fear that someone we love is going to be bitten by the nasty red spiders? I sincerely hope I'm wrong about that.
Good chap. Looking forward to more.
Author's reply
Hi Elliska,
I hope you're feeling better!
The aberrant spiders are nasty. So far, there aren't a lot of them and the elves are trying to nip it in the bud. If they can just find them.
I imagine that there had to some moving of villages during the reign of the shadow. As evil spread, people would be displaced. I agree that it would difficult for the wood-elves to have to move from the homes they love. They don't want to and are having a hard time accepting the fact that they have little choice. Thranduil is trying to be patient, but the spiders are getting worse and the warriors can't control them. He feels he has little choice in the matter.
I'm so pleased that you like the kissing conversation. This love business is so new to Aldamir that he's impressed with everything about it. And hopefully, the fact that Elenna is not bashful tells us something about her. She's thrown him completely off balance.
Someone bitten? Now what would make you say that? :>)
Thanks, Elliska. I really appreciate your reviews.
Karen
Intrigue! Elenna and her adar are hiding things, are they? And I can't imagine that they are going to be terribly pleased by Thranduil getting authoritarian on them and telling them to move. Aldamir's courtship could just have hit a rocky patch.
And then there are the spiders. Extra nasty red-banded ones, huh? Who eat the ordinarily poisonous black ones, thus intensifying the strength of their own dose of poison. I can't imagine that Daeron is going to take to them too much. And they are spreading randomly - possibly in the direction of an arachnophobic novice. Oh well, as long as they remember that arrows work from a distance, they might survive. Although maybe Belas would make a good sacrifice.
Though men say that women are interested in trivialities. There Seregon is, eyes sparkling as he coaxes information from his cousin about the exact state of his relationship. Still I suppose they need something to take their minds off spiders and troop deployments and the everyday worries of Mirkwood folk.
I can't wait to see who gets next gets control of the pen.
Author's reply
Hi Bodkin,
And just when you think someone is a good kisser... A rocky patch, indeed.
The black spiders are bad enough, but I had this vision of some wild-looking, mad-professor type, deep in the bowels of Dol Guldur crackling gleefully while trying to create a bigger and better nasty spider. The new improved model. Maybe a cross between something like a black widow and the ordinary big spiders that inhabit Mirkwood. Yeah, Daeron can be a spider magnet. Belas would make a good sacrifice, but the spiders probably wouldn't want him either.
Seregon is awfully interested in Aldamir's love life. No MTV, ya know. And Aldamir getting all moon-eyed over a maiden is rarer than a hobbit turning down a meal. Seregon is interested in seeing where this goes. I think he's also reached a place where the thought of marriage and elflings is becoming attractive. Aldamir is his test case.
For the next chapter we'll go back to the novices.
Thanks, Bodkin. Love your reviews.
Karen
I just love Daeron. He is such a character - the business with his naneth and the changes of underwear was hilarious. I'm not surprised that Legolas couldn't control his laughter. And Thranduil being able to put off kinging to be simply Legolas's adar is a lovely image. It's good to see Legolas with his naneth, too.
Those brothers! I'm not sure which pair deserves most sympathy, but they play off each other like professionals.
Then, in the midst of all the entertainment, there is Legolas communing with the tree - such a touching moment. And information about cricket noises and intruders. But I'm glad that Daeron's cooking is not as bad as Legolas feared. Perhaps they won't go hungry over the Endurance Games. Perhaps they will get on well with Belas. Perhaps there will be no spiders. Perhaps pigs might fly.
Author's reply
Hi Bodkin,
Poor Daeron. His mother is the ME equivalent of mother-earth. She wants everyone to be warm and dry, clean and good smelling, fed and watered and whatever else needs to be fussed over. Daeron, the typical teenager, thinks she's off her rocker. Legolas and the older brothers think she's a hoot too. Though I suspect that if Legolas were in Daeron's place, he'd react the same. Fortunately for Legolas, the queen is a little less heavy-handed in her mothering...at this point anyway. We might get to see her go into extreme mother-mode later.
Legolas is so happy to be out in the woods communing with the trees. Daeron is not unhappy to be there, but he's a little more cautious in his enthusiasm, I think.
Thanks, Bodkin. I'm always excited to get a review from you and very much appreciate you taking the time to do it.
Karen
It suddenly occurred to me on this reading that Legolas's nana is your self-insert. How else to explain her leisurely absence from the crack-of-dawn baseball breakfast?
Great opening. Legolas is so excited he can't sit still, while Daeron is just groaning about the whole affair. Something tells me he'll have a good time once he gets there, though. I know the type. The older brothers and Thranduil are nicely done, too. I really liked Thranduil showing up to farewell the boys without the kingly regalia. Daeron's fit about the underwear cracked me up.
Daeron and Legolas make a good team. They both have a great sense of humor and sharp observational skills, but what a different filter Daeron has on his lens! Legolas is nicely balanced between optimism and realism, while Daeron's precocious cynicism can't quite hide a deep idealistic streak. Look which one wants to tilt at the Belas windmill! I think Daeron has it right. Belas will still be an orc's rectum when he reaches the Blessed Realm. I can't wait to see him get his comeuppance. Great chapter.
Author's reply
If my self-insert is Lalaith, then why was I up at 5 AM this morning slinging grits and eggs to a sleepy baseball team? I demand servants! They can take pictures and report back to me about how the whole thing went. :>)
Legolas was excited about going on the games. He loves the whole weapons and shooting orcs and traipsing about the woods thing. Underneath, Daeron does too. You're right. His motor just takes a little longer to get started. He'll be fine once he's there.
Daeron's underwear? Didn't you mother ever tell you to wear good underwear in case you're in a wreck and have to go to the hospital? It's a well known fact that the ER staff admires nice underwear.
I hope Daeron and Legolas make a good team. Thanks for saying so. Legolas is more balanced and calm and reasonable. And Daeron does want things to be right for everyone. He has little patience with dingbats. Belas is the head dingbat in his book. Perhaps we can help Belas curb his nastiness, but all in all, he'll still be Belas right up until the bitter end.
Thank you so much for reading this AGAIN! I appreciate all your help and support.
Karen
I have to say, Karen, you have such an easygoing style of writing that I just cruise along, happily engrossed, and then suddenly the chapter ends. ;/
Daeron is again hilarious. His outrage at his naneth's concerns were very funny, as were his brother's and cousins' reaction to it. We just know Seregon has been there before.
Their discussion of what to do about Belas and Alar sounded like a couple of adolescents truly engrossed in the problem. It reminded me of late grade school and junior high. I can recall the kids who got picked on..and how it went on for years. I can recall taking on one particular boy to knock off teasing red haired Mary. It worked, I got away with it. I am rooting for Legolas and Daeron!
Author's reply
Hi Nilmandra!
What a nice thing to say. Thank you. I'm glad the story is flowing so easily. Getting into Legolas's head was more difficult than I thought it would be. It took me quite a while to finally get a fix on what goes on in there.
The queen is used to being well...the queen. She's calm and composed most of the time. She's a good nana and loves her children, but she doesn't seem to be as blatant about her concerns as Noreth. I like Noreth: mother-earth, worrier of all things clean and right. Daeron is at the age where he thinks she's nuts. Someday he'll be able to look back on her 'mothering' and see that all the fuss was because she loved him so. This is just her way of expressing it.
Bullies are bullies no matter where you run into them, aren't they? Legolas and Daeron are engrossed in this. Their hearts are in the right place in wanting to help Alar. I think they might need some tips from you on how to get away with telling Belas to knock it off and not get caught though. I bet red-haired Mary still remembers you fondly. I know I would.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I appreciate you taking the time. I love hearing from you.
Karen
The young ones encounters with their mothers and brothers was enormously entertaining, but I think my favorite it Legolas's observation that it was his father who was awake, not the king. :-)
Author's reply
Hey Karri,
I have a lot of experience as a mother of teenage boys and some encounters are enormously entertaining. Boys really are fun. The ones I know just crack me up. But they can be sweet and affectionate and full of good surprises. (They throw in some bad surprises every now and then too, just for good measure.)
I don't think the king sees every novice training exercise off, but he did this one. I figured he'd be present as the king since he's, in essence, sending the warriors off to fight and the novices to train, but he's also a father seeing his son and nephew off. He just showed up that morning dressed down and smiling. I hated to make him get all gussied up.
Thanks for the review, Karri. I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave me a review.
Karen
Well.. first of all, thank you for your warm welcome to greenwood the great! I fear Thranduil will find it difficult to chase me away now that I'm settling in! In fact, I must say that I like his sitting room a lot! Sounds like my grandad's used to look like, except Thranduil's lacks the "hanging heads" of poor beasts, thanks Oromë!
Seriously, there's a detail I found very interesting: the fact that Oropher's weapons from the Last Alliance were displayed in Thranduil's sitting-room rather than in a more public place...I liked that. I'm sure lots of people in Mirkwood have such private shrines in their own cottages, and I find that the fact that the King would keep his own private is a comforting sign. Although I'd guess that many warriors would rather have a clearer reminder of their former king's deeds... I prefer your choice.
Secondly, that trick of changing POVs definitely works!!!! It is so amusing to see through their different personalities... The contrast between Daeron's and Aldamir's was expected, but very amusing, but the contrast between Daeron's and Legolas's is... hilarious!!!! How different their interests and characters are! Where Legolas is cautious and tries to see the whole of the situation, Daeron is ready to be incensed and explode in rightful vengeance in defence of the weak! He's so fun! And I think I enjoyed Legolas's watch almost as much as he did. Nice ending! :-)
Author's reply
Hello Perelleth,
I don't think Thranduil would mind if you wanted to snuggle into his chair for a while on a cold winter's night. However, the queen might.... :>)
I really liked you comments on Oropher's weapons. When I was writing that scene, I thought about what sort of things Thranduil might feel some attachment to. I decided that the weapons his father used at the time he was killed would probably hold great sentimental value for him. I also thought that Oropher probably had many different weapons, most of which are stored in the armory. Thranduil chose the Last Alliance weapons to keep personally. I'm not sure that there is a place...like a museum where such things are stored--but that's a good idea for there to be a public place to display important artifacts. I've got to think about that and see if I can come up with something.
I'm VERY glad to hear that you feel the changing POV is working. At the time I started this story--a long time ago--I was having trouble getting a hold of everyone's personalities. I switched to doing each chapter from a different POV to try and get to know the characters better. I think it helped me to 'hear' them. I was most worried about Legolas coming through. I had to wait for quite a while until he decided to talk to me. Daeron came so easily that I was afraid I'd end up with everyone sounding like him. Thank you for mentioning that.
And thanks again for reading this and reviewing. I always enjoy your reviews. This one was particularly fun...thinking about weapons and personalities and stuffed moose heads!
Karen
Another wonderful chapter. I loved the detailed description of the forest - almost felt as if I were walking along with the novices. Daeron never ceases to amuse and entertain with his words and thoughts - the south end of an orc? I had a real good chuckle over that one.
It's interesting seeing the difference between Legolas and Daeron. Legolas, even though he's the younger of the two, seemed so composed and diplomatic. Daeron is more proned to speak whatever thoughts that come to mind. But I am sure one thing that they have in common is that they are both magnets for trouble - yeah, more for us to read!
Author's reply
Hi Manderly,
You're always welcome to trail along with the novices in the woods. Though I don't know how they would behave with a girl with them! I hope they'd have some manners. But I fear a bunch of boys know of no such thing when off together. I imagine a lot of spitting and scratching and other things I won't mention.
As you say, Legolas is younger, but I think he's a bit more of a calm personality than Daeron. He's open and curious and willing to give people a chance. Daeron is able to see into the black hearts of men and elves and isn't shy about telling them that he's got their number. I think Daeron lacks filters sometimes; what goes through his head, comes out his mouth. He does, however, have enough sense to know to keep his mouth shut around adults, but his peers don't get such a courtesy, I don't think.
And yes, indeedy, these two attract trouble like ants to honey. I'm afraid it's on its way.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I always love to hear from you.
Karen
I love Good Ada!Thranduil. I just love him and he was in fine form here. The kid's typical, "No parents, please!" was done very well. That stuff is so true to life it's sad and alway amusing to me. But this was great: Our brothers held to their promise to not hug or kiss us good bye, but Adar had made no such promises. I liked that sequence.
So far, the games had been a delightful exercise, but I knew this peace was false and soon enough the masters would be putting us through our paces. As difficult and tiring as I suspected the remainder of the games would be, I was glad to be in the forest and looking forward to what the next day would bring.
I agree. Sounded fun and interesting. I liked the conversation (your dialogue/language usage just cracks me up it's so good). But I think he's right--I think they will be in for some excitement.
Author's reply
Hey Elliska!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter.
I like Good Ada! Thranduil too. I've never bought the bad Ada!Thranduil. Legolas of the Fellowship was too well turned out to have had bad parents. I know there are exceptions to every rule, but Tolkien tells us that the Elves valued their children, and I can't see Thranduil being a dud of a dad.
I've been fortunate that my boys don't mind me around too much, but I have friends--perfectly good parents--whose kids act like their parents have the plague or something. I think this behavior is fairly normal at that odd age when kids are trying to separate from their parents, but it's still funny sometimes. I'm pleased that you found this realistic.
Thanks you for the kind words. Doing each chapter from a different POV has been fun, but sometimes a little difficult as I tried to 'hear' each character in their own voice. I was hoping to understand everyone a little better.
Thanks again for such a nice review. I hope the rest of the story will be enjoyable too.
Karen
Sorry for not reviewing. I hurt my back and the drugs have me too stupid to even follow a fan fic. But I can't stand not reading anymore, so I am trying anyway.
I am very impressed at how well you do first person. Of course, Serious Trouble was all first person, but it was one voice. Now you are doing multiple ones. Wow! That would scare me to try but you are doing a great job.
I liked the obvious friendship here--the bet (always fun) and the: “Did you kiss her?”! Really! Such a question! :) And the 'war campaign' and hunting descriptions were fun too! That was a good conversation. Liked it.
And of course the conversation with Elenna was wonderful!
But all the talk of spiders cannot be good.
Author's reply
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about your back. I hope you're feeling better. Leaving a review is above and beyond the call of duty! I'm touched that you would do this when you're feeling so bad...and drugged to boot!
Thank you for the kind comments on POV. I like first person, but it can be tricky. I decided to go with every chapter being from a different character's POV to help me get to know them better. Daeron is such a strong personalty that I felt like he overshadowed everyone else. I wanted to 'hear' the others. I'm contemplating giving third person a try next time. Now that scares me!
Aldamir and Seregon are close. I just knew they weren't as dull as Daeron kept telling me. I enjoyed getting to know them a little more intimately. Eventually, their personalities came out. I'm so glad that you're enjoying it.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing, especially since you're not feeling well. Take care of yourself and I hope you're back in the pink soon.
Karen
French Pony
· 9 March 2005
· Chapter 3: Chapter Three: Legolas
I love the Elves getting up in the morning. Legolas is so excited to be off, he's like the kid on the morning of his birthday who can't wait to open presents. Daeron is the picture of adolescentus nocturnus, to whom morning sunlight is evil. And Thranduil, who has woken up as adar, but not as king (for there must be much more ceremony when the king rises).
The sitting room is beautiful with the carpets, but even more beautiful with the portraits. My grandmother on one side and my aunt on the other both have lots of family pictures, and they're so wonderful to look at, to see all these people that one is related to -- it really gives you a sense of grounding. But beware naneths who check to see that you change your underwear -- no, scratch that. Beware kids who don't do it and thus need to be reminded.
Ah, the inevitable problem of how to deal with a jerk in the group. The Endurance Games mean many things. One, perhaps, is how long one can endure Belas. But they also seem to be an excercise in relying on one another as a group, and Belas will endanger that unity. Who knows, he may have a lesson coming up. His own ego will punish him. Or a master may do it, finally.
Our group arrived only a few minutes earlier than the other, but there was enough time for us to feign relaxed boredom when they came through the trees.
How wonderfully adolescent. You've really nailed the way kids behave at that age.
Author's reply
Hi French Pony,
What a great review. I chuckled all the way through it!
You've got Daeron's number! He's not quite ready for getting up before the sun and heading out into the wilds for what he knows will be a trying ten days. I imagine he didn't sleep much the night before they left either, but his worries were probably different than Legolas's. I think Legolas was just excited. This is their first big trip as novices, and he can hardly stand it, he's so excited. Daeron is worried that it'll be worse than he already imagines.
I loved your line about there being more ceremony when the king rises! On this day, Thranduil is just plain old Dad.
I love old pictures, too. Don't you look at them and wonder who in the world thought up some of those hairdos? I've never see anyone who I think I look like. My grandmother used to tell me I look like her Aunt Annie...a woman, I am told, who was meaner than a snake! I hope I don't act like her. I've never seen a picture of her, but poor woman, no wonder she was so mean.
Belas, the bellower, is trouble. He's just asking for it. The masters are expecting some frayed tempers, but Belas might be biting off more than he can chew. A few novices--I won't call any names--might also find themselves in hot water.
Being the mother of adolescent males has been an enlightening experience. Boys are a hoot! I just called my oldest son's cell phone--he's run off with my gas card and my car is on empty--and I got a five minute message where he names all his friends and gives a quick character sketch of each of them while doing an Elvis impersonation. When the tone finally beeped, I was at a loss for words. Elvis?
Thank you so much for such a wonderful and fun review.
Karen