Hey, hope you all like this chapter despite the fact that it seems kind of over the top to me. Tell me what you think, and, I don’t know, have fun reading! J
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Merry was very confused. He had sat on the ground, just letting the tears fall for the last hour or so. He felt horrible, the sadness welling up inside him so high that he just wanted to let go, to die, to just be free of this horrible, confusing place.
“P-pip, wh-where are y-you?” He whispered sadly up to the sky, but the fog sucked up his words like a vacuum. He let his red, glistening eyes search the ground again.
The fog was getting thicker and thicker around him, getting harder and harder to breathe in and the sobs filling the thick air around him wasn’t helping himself breathe any easier. He tried to slow down his rough gasps of air, stop the uncontainable sobs that were so hard to control, and take deeper breaths. How long could he survive if the air kept getting thinner like this?
Meriadoc stood up, and began to walk around a bit more. Maybe the voices would come back, they were better than the never ending silence echoing through wherever he was. He wanted to hear Pip’s voice again. Somehow it soothed him despite the fact that the sadness in his voice made his stomach lurch with pain. Despite all of this, his young cousin’s voice seemed to urge him to go on and not give up all hope.
He walked around, but had to stop for a break in no time soon. He bent on his knees, and took some deep breaths. How long would he have? The question ate every empty space in his mind. “Not long” a little demon sung in his head. How could he escape the answer that seemed so fitting?
After a little, he felt the tears back on his cheek. He took his left hand, still not being able to move the right one at the moment, and lifted it to his cheek. His eyes were not blurry so they weren’t his tears, and he felt his face and no wetness was to be found. Was it still Pippin?
Suddenly, he could hear Pippin so loudly that he would have covered his ears if he wasn’t so desperate for the voice of a friend, but even just to hear his voice made Merry’s body shudder with a new wave of tears. Pip was crying, those were the tears he felt. His voice sounded so small and muffled suddenly in the thick fog and nothingness. His voice was weak, and so strained. Oh the pain, Merry was lost in this fresh wave of pain quickly overcoming him.
He fell to his knees, his small body racked with the tears no longer held back by the dam the older cousin created. More pain, weeping so much that his whole body hurt.
“His voice…..” Merry thought in between the sobs. “How, Why!”
“WHY CAN’T I HELP YOU PIPPIN!” he screamed at the sky and collapsed upon his face. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t stop the tears, and finally when Merry wanted the voice to go away, it wouldn’t. It came back with a vengeance. It was as if Merry was in the same room with Pip crying for help, and some force held Meriadoc back and his screams couldn’t be heard.
“W-w-why is this happening to m-me,” Merry whispered to himself. He curled into a ball and rested his head on his knees, no more tears slid down his cheeks. There weren’t any left to fall. “Oh the self-pity.” he thought in his head, “How selfish of myself to be sitting here and doing absolutely nothing.” Not that this was helping in any way, truly it just ate away at the whole point of fighting to get back to Pip.
“I can’t stand any more of this,” he whimpered to himself. “This is just cruel. I’m scared! I’ll admit it, I am terrified out of my mind!” the last bit he yelled, as if some unknown creature could hear this and help him. “I can’t stand having to do this to Pippin anymore.” he finished.
Merry looked up to what he thought was the sky. He couldn’t tell anymore what was up, down, left or right, it was either this way or that. There was nearly no way to tell that it was a fog anymore it was so thick. It looked like he was in a small, all white room in which he would never escape.
He whispered to himself, “I can’t do this to you Pippin. Maybe it’ll be best if I just give up, and leave you to your own life. You can move on without me, you’ll still have Sam and Frodo.” A single tear escaped his eye and slid down his raw cheek.
He knew how miserable Pippin was now, and he just wanted it to end. No matter what happened to him, he couldn’t have Pip being hurt because of him. He wanted to be free of the horror around him, the confusion, the unknowing. Pippin could get along fine without him.
But then the thought struck him. “How could I handle wherever I go without Pippin? I’ve rarely been without him, could I bear it? Then again, if I did, it would make it so much easier for Pippin, and that’s much more important.”
Then he remembered Pippin’s choking sobs saying “I need to you stay here” and his hopes rose. I have to stay here for Pippin, he decided, for Pippin.
He stood up shakily, and again looked at the grey/white wall that he assumed was up. “Pip, I’ll hold on for you! I won’t give up, I’ll come back some soon. I swear to it!
“You won’t beat me, you here me!” he shouted at the top of his lungs at everything around him. “I’m stronger than whatever you are; YOU CAN’T BEAT ME THIS EASILY!”
The fog seemed to react to this statement, for it started closing in tighter and tighter. It felt as though the walls entrapping Merry were trying to crush him inside. He could put his hand through the walls, but the air was diminishing.
He didn’t know what to do. His breaths quickened, and his heart raced. He couldn’t let it all end now! He had to do something, yet something in him understood that his time was up. He would go somewhere new, and let Pippin’s life continue on a better path.
He looked to the sky once more and whispered “I love you Pippin” and fell to his knees, gasping for breath. His vision was fading, everything was getting unclear, or at least, all the white was fading to grey.
“I’ll miss you Pip” he proclaimed in his fading thoughts. “I wish I could see you just one more time, but it seems as if everything has been against us since the beginning.” His body was heavy, his thoughts only in shreds.
Just keep breathing he told himself. If I can just last a little longer, maybe something will happen.
He fought to stay awake just a few moments longer, but slowly, the darkness overtook him.