She sighed in frustration. God, this guy was a complete IDIOT! He was roleplaying something he didn’t even know the author of, let alone seem to even have SEEN the movies. This was getting weirder by the minute. *LOL* From Penny's POV it must be something like this, oh yes!
What a shock for Halbarad to hear Aragorn's childhood and crown names from Penny! Of course now she is highly ominous! No wonder he drew his sword - and frightened her to death!
She certainly didn’t seem dangerous. Incompetent: certainly. Mad: quite possibly. But not dangerous. Intelligent man, our Halbarad ;-) But I am sorry for him - he can't understand why Penny behaves so weird! And all in all he was quite nice to her, bought even shoes for her. Penny shouldn't have snapped at him so!
meckinock
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 5: The Latrine of Doom
How can you not love a chapter with a title like this? Halbarad's thought that Penny was reacting to Bree just like an elf would have was great. I liked her clothes-washing exercise, and of course the highlight was the final scene. The interplay between these two characters and the contrast between how they view the same set of surroundings is priceless.
meckinock
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 4: Clear As Mud
I love Halbarad's "oh, shit" moment when the crazy unintelligible lady starts spouting recognizable and alarming names in the middle of her gibberish. And Penny's bath is hysterical. I love the way you've clearly put a lot of thought into the technical end of this, but it comes across very fluidly. This is a riot.
Author's reply
Thank you. Yes, I am a little anally retentive about detail and avoiding plotholes - I think it shows in my fics. *lol*
I think that this is one of the awesomest things I've read in a long, long time. A-mazing. :D
elliska
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 6: Pennies Dropping
I left reviews for this at OSA but I will try to find time to go back and do the same chap by chap here too simply because this is one of my all time favorite stories--it is just a laugh riot and a perfect response to the challenge. You didn't miss a single opportunity in it. When I first read it, I read it in one sitting because I couldn't stop. Great story. I'm going to go read it again and savor it.
Author's reply
Well, thank you for taking the time to review it both there and here. :) I am so glad you enjoyed it.
phoenix23531
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 6: Pennies Dropping
Ok, last one for the day - Bill Ferny's nose was an excellent touch. Oh, and eating something with valves will be nothing compared to when she gets served real sausages or steak-and-kidney pie. Hoo-boy, this is fun!
miss
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 6: Pennies Dropping
Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this story, update soon will ya?!
phoenix23531
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 5: The Latrine of Doom
Oh my goodness was that hilarious. I'm going to get fired if I keep reading this at work - I was almost howling with laughter.
You hit the loo problem head on and tackled it beautifully. I know I'm nuts for admitting this, but at a re-enactment weekend 2 years ago (set in someone's farm property with no public and about 200-300 medievalists) the organisers were kind enough to build 2 wooden structures (not remotely period but very practical, complete with opaque plastic curtain for privacy) over a large pit. You can imagine the rest. Well, most of it - whoever built it was definitely 7 feet tall and male. This did not go down well with those of us of the female under-six-feet persuasion. Oh, and did I mention they didn't think to sand the rough-cut planks they used? I can sympathise with Penny more than I'd care to admit. And now that I've actually admitted to that annecdote, I'm going to burry my head in the sand for a bit. :-)
Thanks for some excellent laughs and mental images (and a few I'd like to scrape out of my mind - worst toilet this side of the Misty Mountains - shudder).
phoenix23531
Author's reply
Aha! I have only just discovered the 'reply' function on this thing (still new round here and finding my way about). I had to let you know that this made me laught out loud. Thank you for confirming exactly what I was driving at (and for being brave enough to admit having had to suffer such a thing). Glad you are enjoying the fic so far and thank you for taking the time to read and review it. :)
daw the minstrel
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 6: Pennies Dropping
I like the way you show us how this integrates with the LOTR timeline.
It never occurred to me that there was no fannish version of Westron. I guess we're too used to thinking of it as English.
Author's reply
Oh, that's nothing. There is little Westron but there is no Rohirric at all - we know 'Rohan' and 'Theoden' in the Rohirric and that is all. I am just writing Rohan chapters now and just realised I can't use anyone's name in direct speech - complete nightmare! *head desk*
daw the minstrel
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 5: The Latrine of Doom
Oh my goodness. What a hilarious time she's having with various aspects of hygiene.
phoenix23531
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
Hah! The realisation hits and hits hard. I loved this chapter. Everything from her prudish jaunt into the bushes to her sneezing fits. Poor old Halbarad! Though I wonder what she's going to think of medieval toilet cloths or baths (brrrr). And is Halbarad going to be in for a rude awakening if he's with her for more than a month. If he thinks she's crabby now...
Moving on to the next chapter...
phoenix23531
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 2: Bunny Stew
Hah!~ I love it. Was that her snickering at the Mary-sue who had her head lopped off? Simply, sadistically beautiful!
I must admit I was hesitant to read this story. I've read a few Mary-sue's by mistake (and utterly regretted them), and even a few lambasting the Mary-sue's that I ended up regretting (though most of this latter category are devilishly wonderful). But I grew to sympathise with Halbarad very VERY quickly. Especially after the line:
“Swords are sharp things. Not toys.” - snigger!
I love your take on re-enactors. We're not all nuts, I assure you. Well, Ok, maybe we are. But Penny's reaction to Halbarad as a smelly overly-zealous re-enactor/reconstructor/etc. was priceless, and leads me to believe you know more than most about our, erm...enigmatic ways. :-) Just one note: most re-enactors I know do carry at least one sharp knife, but usually they're small because of various laws restricting the size of blades. They're dang useful when it comes to cutting up chocolate bars for sharing round the campfire. ;-)
As for the dinner scene - what would she expect, a full candlelight 7 course meal? Sheesh, and what's wrong with rabbit stew. Admitedly she had just seen the furry little mite hacked to pieces but... Yep, I can only say how grateful I am that I'm not the one who has to skin and gut the meat I take to events. And Halbarad's remenisence of Gildor and Glorfindel's culinary tastes was hilarious. To be honest, I do tend to keep a box of salt and the usual herbs in my kit because meat cooked in water is just sickeningly bland.
I can't wait to read the next installments. All the best, and keep it up,
phoenix23531
Gandalfs apprentice
· 6 December 2005
· Chapter 1: You Have To Be Kidding
This is fabulously funny, and hits just the right balance between realism and hilarity. Great concept! Thank you! I'm looking forward to relishing each chapter.
meckinock
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
I can't remember when I've had more fun reading a story. This one just plasters a big fat grin on my face. I can't decide whose POV I enjoy more - and of course the answer is both equally! Penny remarking on horse shit and Ranger B.O. and Halbarad musing on the twin horrors of Nazgul and incomprehensible women!
meckinock
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 2: Bunny Stew
The rapidly alternating POV is a stroke of genius - it's hysterical to listen to Penny and Halbarad take turns describing one another as a complete loon. I loved the dinner of stewed rabbit (smellng like rat wee LOL.) The charcacterizations are so vivid but stop short of being over-the-top - it was hysterical to listen to Penny describing how tasteless the rabbit was, and then to Halbard admitting pretty much the same. And at least he gave her credit for pretending to like it.
meckinock
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 1: You Have To Be Kidding
I adore this story! I read it at OSA when Nilmandra recommended it a few weeks ago, and I love it even more the second time around. Thank you for posting here! This story just tickles me to death. Penny is so absolutely real and cool and likeable, and stinky, mad-as-a-bicycle Halbarad is....hawt. Thank you thank you thank you.
Author's reply
Yes, several people have taken to my rendition of Halbarad, which is flattering and nice to see. I just tried to make him as realistic a representation of your average honourable warrior Dunedan as I could - they are inately 'hawt' I think, just by virtue of who they are.
Thank you for taking the trouble to read it all a second time. :)
daw the minstrel
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
This was hilarious! And authentic too. The mutual horror of Penny and Halbarad was very entertaining.
Dreamflower
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 1: You Have To Be Kidding
Oh I'm *SO* glad you accepted Nilmandra's invitation to post here. This really is an exceptional story, and deserves to be made an exception of!
The day she recc'ed it, I ended up wasting the entire day reading it, and as much of the next one as you have posted! I really wanted to review then, but I don't have a clue how to post comments on your other site.
I look forward to reading it again at a more leisurely and enjoyable pace!!
Author's reply
Well, thank you for that warm welcome and for taking the time to read the fic. Glad you enjoyed it.
TithenFeredir
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
Oh no, talk about worst case scenario. Penny has landed in a nest of Tolkien freaks!! Priceless! ~TF
TithenFeredir
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 2: Bunny Stew
This is really a very good exercise in looking at both sides from an outsider's perspective. I loved the bit where Halbarad was very sensibly taking care of his knife while Penny assumed his action was evidence of his being some kind of bloodthirsty lunatic. Good story! ~TF
Kitty
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
*grin* Somehow I doubt combs are really that heavy and big one couldn’t take one out in the wilds! Our dear Halbarad is a bit too spartan, isn’t he?
Bree is going to be a shock to Penny – dwarves and hobbits! And the state of the town! Odd reconstruction play, really! No wonder she is so confused.
Kitty
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 2: Bunny Stew
He could hear Gildor or Glorfindel whinging at him even now in the back of his mind, “Gah! Halbarad, there is no salt in this stew! And would it kill you to carry an onion or two in your pack?” Onions? A Ranger carrying onions?! Bloody elves!
*ROFL!!* I fear I’m on the side of the bloody elves!
It is funny how Penny and Halbarad are so very annoyed with each other because neither can understand the strange behaviour of the other, and usually not without reason, at least out of their own perspective. And I think I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the rabbit, either.
Author's reply
I think we're all on the side of the bloody elves in this case. ;) To you and the others who have reviewed in kind, you might be entertained by a wonderful two line review someone left on this fic at ff.net: "Rangers have no onions. Rangers need no onions." *rofl* I have turned that into a sig banner it made me laugh so much.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. :)
Kitty
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 1: You Have To Be Kidding
Oh, I am so glad to see this here! After Nilmandra recommended it, I’d spend every spare minute of three very entertaining days reading all of it at OSA, and I’ll enjoy to read it here again. After reading Diana Gabaldon, my friends and I had thought a bit about the question of how to cope with being thrown back in time, and you did a great job in describing Penny’s difficulties and all that.
Gildor and Halbarad must certainly have thougt her completely crazy, yelling around as she did, but in the 21th century it would be the best thing to do, I suppose. It was very nice of Halbarad to pick her up and to help her. And poor Penny, it’s horrible to find herself in this strange place, facing an armed stranger whose language she can’t understand and not being sure what he wants to do with her!
Author's reply
Well, indeed. All too often authors seem to forget just how different in simple reactions to a situation would be in Middle-earth. It helps having read the books, of course, but either the Mary-Sues react ridiculously and no other character picks them up on it, or the canon characters themselves act OOC thanks to authors bringing their modern values, viewpoints and reactions into play as they write. I would not dream of suggesting I managed it, but I do try and am aware of it as an issue - which is better than not at all, I guess. :)
Thanks, also, for the welcome and reading this thing for a second time.
TithenFeredir
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 1: You Have To Be Kidding
Well, you had me at, "Die, oh Mary Sue, spawn of Morgoth." Too cute. This should be very entertaining! ~TF
Daynawayna
· 5 December 2005
· Chapter 3: The Horror of Bree
Wow! This is just amazing Boz! Very well done so far! I'm glad they let you post this... it's VERY enjoyable and entertaining... and educational. You really thought this out and it shows... I never even considered that a Ranger would smell... but of course, he would! And the sights and smells of the town are right, too; especially the 'sewer'.
I'm very impressed and can't wait for more. And just wondering... this isn't a Mary-Sue because she's not going to "fall in love/get someone to fall for her, etc." and such, correct?
Author's reply
this isn't a Mary-Sue because she's not going to "fall in love/get someone to fall for her, etc." and such, correct?
Well, I am not going to say 'never' nor am I going to say 'definitely' - if only because the story is on-going in a sequel at the moment and this is one of the two major questions coming from the readers: namely, does Penny stay in Middle-earth and (if she does) will she find romance? So forgive me if I don't answer that at all, one way or the other - wait and see, is all I can say. ;)
However, she will not fall for the Fellowship nor they for her, she will not become a 'tenth walker', she will not try and save people, she is not a superb fighter or angst-ridden and thus in need of 'healing' from Legolas or anyone else, she will not fight in battles, she is not some long-lost relative of a major canon character, etc, etc. She is an ordinary English woman in an extraordinary situation, that is all. I hope I have managed to convey that in this fic. The ultimate goal of this fic was realism - in all its (sometimes bitter, but hopefully often funny) glory. Some have thought it was 'non-Mary-Sue' first, but that's not quite the case. By realism it automatically becomes the opposite of a Mary-Sue, and when I go for realism, if I can also make a point of deliberately doing something 'un-Sueish' as well, then that's a definite bonus in helping me make plot decisions.
Hope that all makes some kind of sense. :) Glad you like it so far - and thanks for taking the time to read it, let alone review.