Author's Note: Again, italics represent memory.
Hope Awakes
His long struggle through the inky darkness was finally coming to an end. He had to make a decision. Long had he been swimming in this black bog, laboring not only with the blackness that consumed him but also with the decision to press forward or give in. Ever was the call of the darkness, promising rest and peace. The beckoning was so very tempting and yet hidden beneath the call to tranquility was the nagging feeling that the promised repose was not exactly what it suggested. Yet it seemed so much more appealing than the alternative in some aspects.
Said alternative being the two beings, flitting in and out of his sight on the distant shore of the abstruse river in which he swam. Familiar faces of loved ones, friends and family, stood steadily, coaxing him to shore. Eased voices and gentle pleas echoed around him, battling with the darker promises of peace for his attention. But, standing hand in hand with familiarity was the foreboding presence of pain, sorrow and fear.
It was this fickle companion that made him want to give into the more foreboding peace that the murky depths whispered of. Yet, every time he started dipping below the surface the familiar being on the shore would call louder to him, begging for his attention.
Digging in with everything he had, both physically and mentally, he pulled himself through the river, stretching out toward the shore. The waters lapped over his head, filling his ears, nose and mouth, stinging his eyes. He pushed on, fighting to break the surface of the darkness that surrounded him. His hands groped blindly for any lifeline he could find.
It suffocated him. Pressed against his chest. Clawed at him, pulling him in different directions. He tried to call out but the sound couldn’t break through the thick bog.
As he slowly dipped further beneath the surface, a warm gentleness engulfed him. It started in his hand and spread quickly through his body. He calmed his fighting and allowed himself to be comforted by the calm. A soft murmuring echoed through his head and he concentrated on the soothing sound. Words started to form amongst the hum and he struggled to comprehend. As the words became clearer he found himself completely giving in to the easing sensations.
Finally, a blinding, radiant light swarmed his vision and Estel opened his eyes.
Elrond had been watching the man fight his way back to consciousness for almost an hour now and the task had been agonizing for both of them. At times Estel seemed to be easing into awareness with no trouble at all. At other times his whimpering and gasping was almost too much for the Lord of Imladris to bear.
Elladan and Elrohir had left the Last Homely House just after sunrise, in the company of Angrod, in search for more clues as to Legolas’ whereabouts. Now, with the sun just touching the mountain peaks to the west, Elrond was more than happy that they would be returning soon. He hoped that their own gentle words and coaxing might aid Estel in his return to the natural world around him.
It was not to be had. As Elrond stood, gazing out the window of Estel’s sleeping quarters, a whispered plea called him back to the young man’s side. The swish of his long robes as he spun and made his way across the room drowned out the quiet words that slipped through his patient’s cracked lips.
He slid, gracefully into the chair, which had been ever present since Estel had returned in his current, devastated state. Long slender arms reached out, connecting with the young man. One hand taking Estel’s, the other placed gently on his patients pale brow.
“Estel.” Elrond’s firm, yet soothing voice called. “It is time for you to wake Estel.”
His head bowed, his lips producing soundless words, the Lord of Imladris continued to call to the young man. He felt Estel stir slightly beneath his touch and increased his attempts to rouse the young man.
“Come Estel. Wake!”
The room fell quiet once again, the healer sat completely motionless, mirroring his patient, his hands still connecting him to the young man. Elrond felt his hope dwindling as Estel seemed to sink deeper into the cushioning of the bed. With a great sigh he broke his connection with the young man and slowly opened his eyes. The sight that greeted him made his heart swell with happiness.
Grey eyes stared painfully back at him, the light that was usually overabundant within seemed dim with heartbreak and hurt. Estel’s mouthed moved, attempting to speak, the only sound coming was that of a soft murmur. Recognizing the sounds of a dried, unused voice, Elrond reached to the night stand and took to glass of cool water that rested there. He pressed the glass to Estel’s mouth and allowed the young man to consume greedily, only pulling the liquid away once the glass was emptied.
Estel didn’t attempt to speak again, instead his eyes roved about the room, taking in his surroundings. He craned his neck to look into dark corners, his brow creasing at the pain that the movement caused. Several moments later the young man deserted his search and his saddened eyes returned to Elrond.
“Legolas?” His voice still rasped with lack of use.
Elrond’s shoulders slumped slightly and he knew his own countenance seemed to dim more. “He is not here Estel.”
“I lost him.” Estel gasped as he turned his head away from the Lord of Imladris.
Elrond reach out once more, taking Estel’s hand into his own again. “Peace. Elladan, Elrohir and Angrod are out searching even now. He will be found.”
Estel turned back to the healer once more, a questioning look in his eyes. “Angrod?”
“Aye. He arrived two days past and has been hard pressed to find Legolas since his arrival. He will be much pleased at your awakening.” Elrond’s voice exuded the happiness that his face belied.
Estel held Elrond’s gaze, his eyes appearing tired and dull. His chest hitched as though he were holding back a great sob and Elrond moved his hand tenderly to cover his patient’s heart. “Estel?”
“Nay. Angrod will not be pleased.” Estel sobbed, his voice coming out clear and strong, if not anguished, now. “I have lost Legolas. He will not be found. I have failed them all.”
“Easy Estel. You have just woken, I do not want you working yourself into a frenzy.” Elrond rose from the bed and stepped to the door. He opened it a crack and called to a nearby attendant, requesting some broth and tea. Leaving the door partially open he returned to the bedside he had only momentarily abandoned. “You will eat some and then when the twins and Angrod return you can tell us all what has transpired.”
Elrond and Estel both sat in peace, contemplating what had occurred over the past days. The Lord of Imladris watched his young patient as sadness seemed to darken his spirit even more. He had never seen the human look so lost and hopeless. Not even upon his initial arrival into Rivendell as a child did Estel appear so forlorn. Of course, he had had his mother to comfort him and make him feel safe and secure, but even her subsequent death did not seem to quash his optimism like the recent events had.
Elrond felt it must have been the guilt that Estel was feeling that was leading to such a sorrowful, somber attitude. If Estel blamed himself for Legolas’ absence, and he obviously did, then the burden would weigh him down more than anything else.
It was the cause of these feelings that perplexed Elrond most. Legolas was a skilled and talented warrior, he had never had difficulty defending himself and his loved ones, not even when he was very young, just learning how to wield a bow. So why did Estel feel responsible for what had occurred? Elrond was typically a very patient elf, but recent events had greatly tested that patience, none so much as waiting for his sons to return so that some light could be shed on this mystery.
Subtle creaking from the chamber door pulled Elrond’s attention to the entryway and just as if they had known that their father was awaiting their return, twin personages appeared in the room, looks of apprehension mirrored in their visages. Standing just beyond, his own fair face looking anxious and distressed, stood Angrod and Elrond knew that they had not discovered anything new regarding Legolas. Perhaps Estel’s waking would ease their troubled expressions, he hoped.
The trio looked exactly like they had been out digging under rocks and searching the highest treetops. Their clothes were dust covered, their hair disheveled, the faintest of scratches was etched down Angrod’s left cheek. They looked broken, both physically and spiritually and yet, if one looked close enough, the slightest glimmer of hope could be seen deep within each set of eyes.
Elrohir was the first to break the edgy quiet that had fallen over the room. He whisked to Estel’s bedside, falling upon his knees, his elbows dropping onto the cushion next to the injured man’s body. “Thank the Valar you are awake Estel.” he breathed. “Oh how you have been missed!” He reached out a sturdy hand and placed it over Estel’s chest.
Elladan was next to follow, almost mirroring his brother’s actions on the opposite side of the bed. He spoke no words, the evidence of his feelings clearly written upon his face.
Estel looked between the pair, smiling faintly at each of them. His weary eyes then fell upon the fourth, most quiet figure in the room. “Angrod. Please forgive me.”
Angrod stood frozen. Confusion etched its way slowly onto his face causing his brow to crease and the corner’s of his mouth to twitch as though he did not know how to respond. He took a tentative step forward, ignoring the studious stares from Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir.
“Angrod.” Estel’s cracking voice continued as he fought back the tears. “Please. I am so sorry...”
Angrod raised his hand, his palm facing Estel, hushing the injured man. “Estel, I know not of what you speak. There is naught of which you have done that requires forgiveness.”
The tears fell this time, Estel was no longer able to hold them back. “I lost him Angrod. I do not think he can be found.”
Angrod’s chin fell to his chest at these words and Elrond knew he needed to step in. The confusion and sorrow in the room was smothering. “Estel, can you tell us what happened? Do you have the strength?”
Estel swallowed hard and steeled his emotions. He raised a shaky hand to his jaw, gently rubbing at the bruise there as though remembering. His eyes darkened as he began to speak. “Legolas and I had been traveling in the West, along the Bruinen, hunting as we went. We stopped within several small villages and settlements as we went, gathering supplies and information...”
The pair moved easily and naturally along the path which shadowed the Bruinen. Had it not been for their constant bantering and lighthearted conversation one would have thought they were trying to hide their presence. But this was a time in which neither felt danger resided around the next curve.
They had traveled long together, each taking their journey seriously. Not speaking and completely focused on their surroundings. Experience had taught them to look for small changes in the dirt and grass they walked upon. Listen for changes in the song of the birds and movement of the other forest creatures. It was only recently that they had let their guard down, becoming weary of the constant stress and fatigue that was caused by their diligent observation.
“Watch this fallen branch Estel,” the elf’s musical voice rang. “I would not want you to trip and injure yourself.” A grunt was the only response that Estel would allow the elf and he bit down on his tongue as he heard his friend attempt to muffle a laugh. “Estel, there is a small rabbit hole here, watch your step.”
“Legolas!” The man could hold back his frustration no longer. “It was one time and if I recall correctly it was your actions which led to my ending up in such a precarious position.”
Legolas didn’t attempt to hide his amusement this time. Instead, he let lose with his delight, the melodic sound resulting in mimicking responses from surrounding creatures. Birds flitted about the trees excitedly, squirrels and rabbits peered out of their hollows in curiosity.
“See, it is that behavior of which I speak.” Estel feigned annoyance.
“Little can be said of the memory of humans, my friend, and you have not helped that argument any today.” Legolas paused to look his friend in the face and Estel knew that he did this in order to better read his friend. “I was merely saying hello to our forest friends.”
Estel found himself now laughing in response to Legolas’ coyness. Shaking his head he easily stepped around the elf and continued on the path they had started on earlier in the day. They managed to travel in silence for only a short while before the elf began his teasing anew.
“Estel, mayhap it would be best if I led so that I might point out any hazards that cross our path.”
Estel didn’t stop, rather he swooped down and scooped up a large dirt clod, he measured its weight in his palm and casually glanced over his shoulder to get an idea of the elf’s distance behind him. Then, very nonchalantly, he tossed the clod over his shoulder. He knew that Legolas would easily dodge the mass but he also knew that the elf would be too at ease for what came next.
After tossing the clump into the air, Estel spun and scooped up another fistful of dirt. This particular ball he threw directly at Legolas, pelting the elf dead center of the chest. “It appears that it is you who is unable to spot oncoming obstacles, my friend.”
The two had obviously spent hours in each others company because the expressions on each of their faces was identical. Both pursed their lips into a thin line, the corners pulling upward, neither wanting to be the first to laugh.
“Estel...” The elf was cut off by the approach of many horses from surrounding directions. Legolas whipped his bow from his back as Estel grasped the pommel of his sword. Neither had time to prepare a better defense as a small group of men, numbering six, broke from the trees around them, each with a crossbow resting gently in their laps.
They were surrounded on all sides, their backs to each other, neither moved to attack, both stood on the defensive, waiting to see what these men wanted.
“Hello my fellow travelers.” A tall, dark haired man called as he swung himself from his horse and stepped up to Estel.
“Well met.” Estel responded as Legolas turned to face the same man. “Is there aught we can assist you with?”
“That remains to be seen.” The man circled around the pair, his eyes roving over each of them. “What, may I inquire, is such an odd pair doing traveling in these woods?”
Estel glanced over at Legolas, seeing a look of annoyance on the elf’s face at being stopped. “We are doing just that, traveling. We did not know that travel in these woods was forbidden.”
The man paused now, less than a foot from Estel’s right side. “Do not get smart with me. We patrol these woods and maintain the safety of travelers. You, nor your friend, made it known that you would be passing through.”
“No man owns these woods and we can ensure our own safety.” Legolas stated evenly.
“Indeed.” The rest of the men surrounding Legolas and Estel dismounted and took up their same positions on the forest floor around them. “Well, things seem to have changed since you last traveled this way, elf.”
The man slowly raised his crossbow and aimed it directly at Estel’s chest, the other five men mirroring his actions, three pointing at Legolas, and three at Estel. “Now, I am more than willing to let you pass without any trouble, I will just require a small tax.”
“We have no money.” Estel hissed, his hand gripping his sword handle tighter. “Nor do we carry anything of value.”
The man jabbed Estel lightly with the tip of the arrow that protruded from the end of his crossbow, his expression growing darker. “Oh, I don’t know, that sword and the elf’s knives sure look as though they could fetch a handsome price. Remove them and drop them before you.”
++++++++
A knock on the chamber door caused Estel to stop and Elrond moved to the door to allow entry. The attendant stepped in, a silver tray held before him, and moved across the room to set it upon the bedside table.
“I think now is a good time to pause and let Estel have some much needed nourishment.” Elrond lifted the bowl of broth from the tray and took the chair next to the bed once more. “You three go, clean up, Estel will continue once he has had something to eat.”