More Healing
His horse shifted anxiously beneath him, the tapping of his hooves against stone echoed about him unrhythmically. Everything and everyone in the courtyard seemed to have quieted down in uncomfortable anticipation of the event that loomed before them. The wind ceased, the birds and other forest animals fell silent the elves seemed to be holding their breath, all as if their silence might halt what was about to happen.
It was only the sound of his horse that could be heard and Angrod failed to quiet it. The minute sound eased him, bringing some sense of normalcy to recent and current happenings. He pushed his long, dark hair back over his shoulder and twisted slightly in his seat upon the great equine but Angrod’s eyes never left his liege. Legolas was preparing to leave. To return home and Angrod’s anticipation warred with his sorrow over their departure and return.
There was obviously an eagerness to return to Mirkwood for Angrod truly believed that once Legolas saw the mysticism and beauty of his home and his Father’s loving face and the welcoming admiration of his people that his memory would come back almost instantly. How could it not? Legolas had spent the vast majority of his life in those woods and with those people, leaving only on occasional diplomatic missions to neighboring towns, cities and dwellings.
But, then again, was not Angrod himself one of Legolas’ people? Had he not grown up with the Prince from a very young age, spending nearly every waking minute with him and sharing in celebrations, sorrow, frustrations, fears and all other random events that came with elven life? Why then could his presence and love alone not bring Legolas back to his old self?
It was these thoughts, combined with the goodbyes Legolas was struggling through that leant to the sorrow that Angrod was feeling.
His heart clenched in his chest and he watched Legolas sway from side to side in discomfort, struggling for the words to express his gratitude to the Lords of Imladris. The sadness and confusion that intermingled in the skewed expression on Legolas’ face made all those present look away in grief almost as though they looked upon the Prince for the last time.
“I know not what to say.” Legolas’ voice was tentative and shook ever so slightly.
“There is nothing that you need say Legolas. We will see you again very soon.” Elrond stepped forward placing his hands on each of Legolas’ shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. “Do not let your heart be so troubled Young One. All will be well. Your memory will return with time. The key lies within you. Do not force it. Allow it to come when it and you are ready.”
A small dip of the head signaled that Legolas understood and he turned to where the twins, Elladan and Elrohir stood. The two stepped forward, identical smiles upon their handsome faces. “We shall expect some of your homemade tarts upon our next visit.” Elladan laughed out the sentence and Elrohir joined in after the words were spoken. The corners of Legolas’ mouth twitched and the confusion upon his face was enhanced.
“There are some things that I think would be best left forgotten Son’s of Elrond.” Angrod shouted from his horse, while making a slashing motion across his own throat.
“Angrod, you did not share that story with Elladan and Elrohir did you?” Estel was fighting to hide his own mirth and Angrod could feel his cheeks heating up with embarassment.
“He did indeed Master Estel and you should be ashamed of yourself.” Glorfindel could not help but join in the tease and he also stepped toward the young Prince of Mirkwood, grasping Legolas’ arm and squeezing in a brotherly affection. “Ignore them Legolas, they only speak to get your ire up. They find twisted amusement in the discomfort of others. Something I have spoken to Master Elrond at length regarding.”
Angrod couldn’t help but join in on Legolas’ laughter over the statement but his amusement quickly returned to remorse at Legolas’ next words. “That may be so My Lord, but I shall expect Angrod to share this story with me on our trek home.” He glanced over his should at Angrod after these words and Angrod gave a shameful smile.
Estel gently pushed the twins aside and came to stand before Legolas. “Do not be too hard on him, it really is not that bad of a story.” He then leaned forward in a pretense that only Legolas would hear his next words, knowing full well that the heightened hearing of the elves would allow them to hear his words. “I suspect that they did not hear the end of the story and serving them your homemade tarts would be the perfect revenge.” Estel then slipped a wink to Angrod then threw his arms around Legolas’ neck, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “Be careful.”
Legolas returned the hug and Angrod’s heart swelled at the safety and happiness that he could see his Prince was feeling. He hated to take him away from this but he hated to keep him from even more pleasant feelings that would come with returning to Mirkwood.
Legolas loosed his hold on Estel then turn and swiftly mounted his horse. He tapped lightly on the animals thick neck, the result being the horse turning slowly in a circle, coming to face those still standing in the courtyard. “Thank you all for everything you have done.” Smiles were returned and each raised a hand in farewell.
Unable to leave without voicing his own gratitude and goodbye, Angrod urged his horse forward slightly. “I thank you as well. I do not know what I would have done if we had not found him.” He then turned his horse back towards the courtyard exit and the pair slowly began to ride away. Just before leaving the enclosure both paused and turned to the small group still gathered there. Each raised a hand, holding it there for several long seconds.
“We will send word on his recovery.” Angrod offered. “All will be well. Thank you.” Together they turned and rode out of sight.
Barely had they gotten out of Imladris before Legolas spoke. His voice quavered as the words fell from his mouth and Angrod could see his knuckles whiten as he gripped horses mane tightly. “Is it wrong that I am scared? I know not where I am headed. Not only on this journey but in my recovery. What is to happen if my memory does not return? How am I supposed to look upon my Father and the elves of Mirkwood and not feel loss, frustration and confusion? My head aches. Not only for the damage done it but for all of the contemplation it has endured. I am frightened Angrod. I am frightened because I fight an enemy without face or name. How do I fight this?”
Angrod’s mouth nearly fell open in shock and he could feel the tears fighting to break through. He had guessed that Legolas had been feeling despair and some fear but he had been removed from Legolas while the Prince had been healing physically. He had not really known the extent of Legolas’ hopelessness nor his loneliness. His heart screamed anew for his friend’s pain and for his own. They had both lost in this unfortunate turn of events. But Angrod had vowed that he would not allow Legolas to lose any more.
“Legolas, I cannot even begin to understand the pain and fear that you have been experiencing. If it is anything even remotely close to what I have been feeling since I received news that you were lost then I know it must be great indeed.” Angrod paused as he maneuvered his horse around a tree, Legolas passing on the opposite side. “But your are not alone now. Your Father loves you more than life itself. Your people would willingly give up their own lives to protect you, so great is their admiration for you. I would trade places with you if it were possible just to save you this pain.
“Mirkwood is your home and I believe it will feel like such. I believe with all of my heart that you will find healing there and I know that you will find love and support. This you should not fear for it shall be so.”
He steered his animal closer to Legolas’ and grasped his hand in his own. “I pledge to you this Legolas, I shall never leave your side as long as you will it so. I shall always be your rock of support. You shall not know fear or want in Mirkwood.”
Tears glistened in Legolas’ eyes and Angrod felt his pain but he fought to control his own emotions so that he could remain strong for Legolas. A small, wisp of a smile flitted appreciatively over Legolas’ face and he squeezed Angrod’s hand in return. A look of deep gratitude filled his eyes, burying the tears and Angrod nodded his recognition of Legolas’ quite thank you.
The pair rode on in silence for over an hour, neither daring to breach the peacefulness of the woods and the beauty of the birds singing overhead. Their passage was marked by many forest animals. Small squirrels, deer, raccoons and other creatures of the wood peered out of their burrows and dwellings, watching the passing of the elves in silence. Then, seemingly, they chattered amongst themselves in excitement for the passing. Happy to have been witness to such majestic beings. Legolas and Angrod, for their part, smiled and played back with the animals gaining as much enjoyment from them.
“Angrod,” It had been so long since either had spoke that Legolas’ voice almost made Angrod jump. “Do we always travel together in such silence?”
Angrod couldn’t help himself, he had to laugh to himself at the absurd suggestion. “Nay Legolas. Barely can we keep each other quiet, even when circumstances require it.”
Legolas nodded his head in acknowledgment of this and Angrod suspected that he already knew the answer to the question before he posed it. “Why then do we ride so silently now?”
This question really caught Angrod off guard and he fumbled the words in explanation. “We...you...it...I do not know.”
“Perhaps it is your inability to speak that silences your tongue.”
Angrod nearly fell off of his horse at the accusation. It wasn’t until Legolas began to laugh openly that Angrod realized that he had been jesting. “Aye Legolas, my tongue does seem to be a little tied up today.”
Legolas’ eyes fell at the admittance and Angrod felt shame once again for his inability to do what he wanted in comforting his Prince. “I do not know for sure my friend,” Legolas uttered, “but perhaps if you spoke to me as you always have I might be able to pick up on some memories. I think normalcy is the best remedy.”
He was right and Angrod knew it. Even if a normal routine didn’t help Legolas’ memory, it would permit him to feel more normal. If Angrod did not treat him differently, or look at him differently then perhaps the same would be said for Legolas himself and he would not feel so apprehensive regarding his predicament. “You are right Legolas. I shall try harder.”
“Do not try Angrod. Just be.” Legolas offered a warm smile and Angrod found it hard to believe that his friend could not remember who he was. He was acting so much the same, as warm, kind and accepting as ever. How could he be so different and so the same?
“Again, you are correct my friend.” Angrod pulled his horse slightly ahead of Legolas’. “If normalcy is what you want then normalcy is what you shall get. I will beat you so mercilessly to that clearing up ahead that you will remember how shamed you are by your inability to beat me in a race.” Before Legolas could retort Angrod yelled to his horse in encouragement and both flew ahead leaving Legolas sitting in stunned silence.
Air whipped around him and trees flew past. Leaves smacked against his face and Angrod felt alive. More so than he had in weeks. He had his dearest friend back and he was going home to where they could resume their life and Legolas his healing. His horse leapt over a fallen tree and he swerved to miss a hanging branch. His face ached with the huge smile that covered it. He could hear Legolas coming up behind him and he urged his horse on, pleading with it for speed. He crouched down over the horses neck limiting the resistence that would oppose them, almost becoming one with the animal. He spoke words of encouragement and could feel his pleasure increasing as he saw the clearing come into view up ahead. A laugh escaped him but it was cut short as Angrod saw something out of the corner of his eye.
“It cannot be.” He exclaimed then pushed his horse even harder. But it could not be mistaken. Angrod had seen a flash of gold to his right and he knew that he was doomed. Mere feet from the clearing Legolas overcame him and his horse and burst from the trees the obvious victor.
He pulled his horse to a stop, a pleased grin brightening his fair face. “Perhaps I have become a better rider since last you saw me. Or perhaps the Valar seek humility from one who would cheat so openly.”
Angrod could not help it. His laugh came fast and hard. “Well, it is only fair for me to allow you to win once in a while.”
“Oh ho ho! Is that so?” Legolas shook his head in mirth as he turned his horse back to their original trail. “Have you always been such a liar Angrod?”
Angrod patted his horse affectionately on the neck and praised it for a job well done before following his Prince into the forest again. “I suppose you will never know will you My Lord?”
“You take advantage of my condition?”
“I must take advantage where I can get it when it comes to you dear friend.”
They both laughed quietly as they moved amongst the trees again. “I think it only fair that I am awarded something for my win do you not agree.”
Angrod was almost shocked by this statement. Legolas had not changed at all. His memory may have been marred but his personality and sense of humor were still well intact. “And what would you wish for your prize?”
Legolas looked to Angrod out of the corner of his eye a mischievous smirk on his lips. “Do not look so worried Angrod I only wish to know what it is was meant by Elladan’s tart comment.”
Angrod burst with laughter, his eyes watered with mirth and he fought to control himself and gain his breath but he was fighting a losing battle. He tried to speak but so overcome was he with glee that it took several minutes for him to regain himself.
“Is it truly that amusing?” Legolas asked in mock confusion.
“Nay. Actually aye. It is quite humorous Legolas. I shall tell you not only that but I shall tell you anything that you wish to know.”
They continued their journey as such, a quiet moment rarely to be found. Angrod told Legolas of the tarts and he told him many other stories of his childhood and adolescent years. Many laughs were shared and many more tears. They rebuilt all that they had lost and they added to that. They did not hurry but they did not tarry. They traveled at a pace that was comfortable for them. They allowed themselves time to talk and search and hunt and several days later when the uppermost spires of Mirkwood palace came into view one would be hard pressed to believe that anything had come between them.
As they rode into the courtyard the powerful visage of the King of Mirkwood greeted them. They both removed themselves from their animals and before Legolas could even fully turn he was swept into Thranduil’s arms.
“Legolas, My Heart, welcome home.” Thranduil’s usually sturdy, strong voice shook in happiness and he held Legolas tightly to his chest. Legolas’ own arms were wrapped tightly around Thranduil’s torso and Angrod stood momentarily watching the reunion. Tears filled his eyes as he saw Thranduil lift his head and make eye contact with him. Unmistakable words of gratitude were mouthed and Angrod bowed deeply then silently removed himself from the scene.