Reviews (191)

Raksha The Demon · 13 March 2006 · Chapter 11: Ch. 8 - Third Age 2948 - Part Three

"He remembered the tales of the kings of old, the last ones before the great wave engulfed Westernesse, sacrificing their children to... to what? Some dark force. He could not remember. But he knew there had been human sacrifice. What would drive a man, nay a king, to such an action?" Now that is scary foreshadowing!

French Pony · 12 March 2006 · Chapter 11: Ch. 8 - Third Age 2948 - Part Three

Well, Ecthelion seems to have gone completely and utterly off his rocker. He is overreacting wildly, to both Denethor and Indis. It seems that he terrorized some of Denethor's friends into revealing who was behind the plot, too -- I can't see anything in the plot itself that would directly reveal Denethor as the perpetrator. Or else Ecthelion is still harboring a grudge against Denethor and was just looking for an excuse. I once knew a fencing coach like Eledhwen. He was a nasty bastard of a man. Eledhwen may be a good shieldmaiden, but she's a terrible teacher.

French Pony · 10 March 2006 · Chapter 10: Ch. 8 - Third Age 2948 - Part Two

Well, Amdir is a very lucky guy indeed. He could easily have gotten pneumonia and died right there, but fortunately, Gondor's leechcraft is still strong. I had wondered when the two Morwens would meet. I must say, I do like your female characters. They have lots of common sense between them that the men sorely lack. Although Morwen-married-to-Thengel is getting pregnant at an alarming rate. If she keeps going like this, she'll be pregnant again before the last one is even born.

French Pony · 10 March 2006 · Chapter 9: Ch. 8 - Third Age 2948 - Part One

A very excitig chapter, though I fear that things aren't going to go well for Amdir. Separated from his beloved by tradition, not a canon character, about to get married. . . all the classic signs of doom. But he was very brave to run into the burning building after the children. As was Denethor. Ecthelion should take note.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 8: Ch. 7 - Third Age 2947 - Part Two

Thirty-five years with no call home, and Findegon never thought to ask about that? Whew. Gotta love his loyalty, but his intelligence and initiative leave much to be desired. Of course, Ecthelion's not much better, leaving men unrelieved after thirty-five years. It looks as though all of Gondor is losing its collective wits along with Turgon. No wonder it was in such bad shape by the time of the War.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 7: Ch. 7 - Third Age 2947 - Part One

Denethor is growing up oddly. He's very smart, probably too smart for his maturity level. People either dismiss him as a precocious kid or trust a seventeen-year-old lieutenant as a full, experienced warrior. Neither way is especially healthy for him, so thank goodness for Indis. He's learning the hard way about battle, but it looks like Amdir has found some courage. Good for Amdir, though his shirt is looking redder all the time.

Raksha The Demon · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 6: Ch. 6 - Third Age 2945

A well-written battle scene, and very good advice from Ciramir.

Raksha The Demon · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 2: Ch. 2 - Third Age 2937

Well, we can see where some of Denethor's future ideas about parenting independant-minded sons came from - though banishing a motherles six-year-old boy from the comfort of his sisters is a bit much. Could you put the chapter numbers/title above the chapter (i.e. where we read the actual chapter) as well as the chapter index, so, as we're reading it, we can quickly reference what year it is, and which chapter if we want to go back to it after reading another chapter?

Raksha The Demon · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 0: Third Age - 2930

A striking first chapter, with excellent juxtaposition of joy and tragedy. Poor Ecthelion.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 6: Ch. 6 - Third Age 2945

I can't make this one too long -- I really have to go and do useful things now -- but I loved your description of the battle and its aftereffects on Denethor and Amdir. It's one of the few battle descriptions I've read that really convinced me of the blood and the terror and the desperation of fighting like that.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 5: Ch. 5 - Third Age 2943

Weddings are such weird events. On the surface, they're about two people who love each other, but underneath, there's so much seething family politics. They bring out the best and the worst in people, I think. Fengel is an odd duck. No wonder Gondor and Rohan fell into such disrepair, if these were the guys taking care of them when the Shadow started to grow. Curunir is definitely Mr. Nasty. I can't help but feel that something very bad and personality-warping is in the offing for Denethor.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 4: Ch. 4 - Third Age 2942

Well, that's the Steward's family all over. It takes a brutal death to get them to confront festering feelings and resentments towards each other. Good for Indis for finally intervening in this mess. Ecthelion behaved like an ass, and I hope that he figures it out soon. It will be interesting to see how Denethor overcomes his revulsion towards Curunir to develop the friendship they seem to have later on.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 3: Ch. 3 - Third Age 2939

All that disaster and pain, and for nothing. They didn't even get the irises home. One can definitely see Denethor's future character forming here, and where he gets some of his strange ideas. It's a pity Ecthelion is so blind that he can't see the true effect of his actions on his kid.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 2: Ch. 2 - Third Age 2937

Ah, and Ecthelion contributes to Denethor's affection problems later in life. He's hurting the girls as much as Denethor with this little toughening exercise, but he doesn't see the need to deal with that. One gets the feeling that no one really cares about these girls, since they seem to get shunted off to dark corners all the time. What a big ceremony for such a little boy. He probably didn't understand a word of what he was promising, but he'll keep those oaths anyway.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 1: Ch. 1 - Third Age 2936

Poor frog. But such is the case when five-year-olds and small animals encounter one another. I like Ecthelion here. He really seems to know what's up. And you can see the beginning of Denethor's massive overreaction habit, too. One slight nitpick: I will be up shortly to bed him. That verb does not quite mean what you think it means here.

French Pony · 9 March 2006 · Chapter 0: Third Age - 2930

Ooh, I like this beginning. It's such a quick reversal, but it flows so nicely. On to the next chapter.